What Caught My Eye Today

Qatar - U.S. air marshals wrestled a Qatari diplomat to the floor on a flight to Denver in a security scare that prompted fighter jets to be scrambled and top White House aides to brief President Barack Obama. The incident turned out to be a false alarm, triggered when the Qatari reportedly lit a cigarette in one of the plane's restrooms and then, when confronted, joked he was trying to ignite his shoes. Ha. Ha. Real funny, dumb ass. Next time chew on a stick of Nicorette, you moron. The scare prompted fighter jets to scramble and intercept the flight amid fears of a possible repeat of a passenger's foiled attempt to bring down a Northwest Airlines jet on Christmas Day as it approached to land at Detroit. A State Department official said, "His ability to function effectively has been compromised," adding that the diplomat will probably not be returning to the United States after the incident. The comment came after officials were calling for the diplomat to either be recalled or expelled for doing just about "everything wrong" on board the flight. Now that's a little harsh. You do have to credit the guy for getting on the right plane in the first place. Seriously, dude, don't let the door hit you on the way back to Qatar.

2012 Presidential Campaign - This is a joke right? Sadly, no. Little more than a year into President Barack Obama's first term, Republicans considering a challenge to the Democrat in his re-election bid were gauging their political strength at the first GOP candidate "cattle call" in New Orleans at the three-day Southern Republican Leadership Conference. No less than a dozen Republicans are mulling over candidacies. It's a wide-open field with big personalities but little issue diversity. The hopefuls are encouraged by an increasing chorus of Republicans who argue that Obama could be a one-term president. The theory is that Obama is overreaching in his efforts to dramatically change the country's policies on everything from health care to climate change. This guy has some nerve. How does he think he is and what makes him think he has some mandate to lead? And what's all this nonsense about trying to address multiple problems? Someone is definitely a little koo-koo for Coco Puffs. Republicans predict that voters may ultimately reject his sweeping government policies in a nation that tilts more conservative than it does liberal. On a more serious note, I think the Republicans have it half right. I think that is certainly the possibility that some Americans might get a bit nervous about the implication of all the policy changes that the current Administration is making, but let us not forget that a big reason Obama is in the White House is that a pretty big chunk of the electorate didn't like the status quo. In my humble opinion, the jitters the Republicans are predicting have less to due with conservative versus liberal values, and more to do with the fear of the unknown. No one ever said change was easy, but that doesn't mean that change should be avoided.

Nepal - Nepal and China have agreed to recognize the snow and rock heights of Mount Everest, ending a long-standing debate about the height of the world's tallest mountain. One cannot help but marvel at what modern-day diplomacy can achieve, though I was not aware that the height of Mount Everest was causing an international incident. The official Everest snow height of 29,028 feet was measured by the Survey of India in 1954. Chinese mountaineers and researchers climbed Mount Everest in May 2005 to determine its height afresh and concluded that the rock height of the peak was about 11 feet less than the estimates made in 1954, or the summit was 29,017 feet. Officials from China and Nepal who met this week said both heights were accurate. Sure they are. Just like 2+2 and 2+3 both equal 4. In 1999, an expedition by the National Geographic Society and Boston's Museum of Science used satellite-based technology to measure the height of the snow covered peak, and determined the mountain stood 29,035 feet high. Which I guess means that 3+3 also equals 4. You know, when I was in college, I was trying to figure out whether I should major in Accounting or Finance. My advisor explained the difference in courses of study like this--In Accounting, your focus is on making sure numbers in the "past" add up; in Finance, your focus is making sure numbers in the "future" look good. I chose Finance thinking it would be much easier to come up with a compelling argument as opposed to explaining an unfortunate truth. Perhaps I should have explored a career in diplomacy.

Asteroids - Feeling lucky today? You should. A newly discovered asteroid zipped by Earth today, but posed no threat of crashing into our planet even though it is passed within the orbit of the moon. The asteroid, called 2010 GA6, is a relatively small space rock about 71 feet wide. NASA astronomers said not to worry...the planet is safe. That's a relief. At the time of its closest pass, asteroid 2010 GA6 was about 223,000 miles from the Earth. In January, the small asteroid 2010 AL30 passed within 80,000 miles when it zipped by. NASA routinely tracks asteroids and comets that may fly near the Earth with a network of telescopes on the ground and in space. The agency's Near-Earth Object Observations program, more commonly known as Spaceguard, is responsible for finding potentially dangerous asteroids and studying their orbits to determine if they pose a risk of hitting the Earth. How much do you want to bet that all these tracking posts are loaded up with a bunch of booze and some comfy mattresses. Think about it. These guys will be among the first to know when the world is about to come to an end. Why wouldn't they be prepared to go out with a bang (you know drinking, sex, et cetera, et cetera).

What Caught My Eye Today

Anti-Government - The FBI is warning police across the country that an anti-government group's call to remove governors from office could provoke violence. The group called the Guardians of the free Republics wants to "restore America" by peacefully dismantling parts of the government. More than 30 governors had received letters saying if they don't leave office within three days they will be removed. The FBI associated the letter with "sovereign citizens," most of whom believe they are free from all duties of a U.S. citizen, like paying taxes or needing a government license to drive. Let me begin by saying I am all for freedom of speech and all other freedoms guaranteed by the Constitution. That being said, I'm confused by what it is that these "sovereign citizens" are trying to accomplish. Think about it. Where else but the United States would these nut jobs be granted freedom to pull idiotic stunts like this? Here's a thought...if you don't like the way we run things here, go someplace else.

New Moore Island - Perhaps a more fitting name might be "No More" Island. For nearly 30 years, India and Bangladesh have argued over control of a tiny rock island in the Bay of Bengal. Now rising sea levels have resolved the dispute for them: the island's gone. New Moore Island in the Sunderbans has been completely submerged. Until 2000, the sea levels rose about a tenth of an inch a year, but over the last decade they have been rising about two-tenth of an inch annually. That doesn't seem like all that much does it? Another nearby island, Lohachara, was submerged in 1996 and at least 10 other islands in the area are still at risk. India and Bangladesh both claimed the empty New Moore Island, which is about 2 miles long and 1.5 miles wide. Bangladesh referred to the island as South Talpatti. There were no permanent structures on New Moore, but India sent some paramilitary soldiers to its rocky shores in 1981 to hoist its national flag. You have to hand it to Mother Nature. Our so-called evolved species spends 30 years arguing over what basically amounts to a really big sand bar and accomplishes nothing. Meanwhile, that old bird--probably tired of listening to all the petty bickering--quietly goes about her business and removes the bone of contention...literally. You go, girl.

Netherlands - A Dutch political party formed by admitted pedophiles has disbanded, after failing to attract enough support to get on the national ballot. Imagine that. It was the second election in a row in which the Party for Brotherly Love, Freedom, and Diversity had failed to gather the necessary 600 signatures. Putting aside for the moment the irony of the name of this party, get this. These dudes are serious enough about their ambitions that they even put together a party platform. Want to venture a guess as to which social issues they target? The party's platform calls for lowering the age of sexual consent to 12 and legalizing child pornography. I'm all for democracy and freedom of speech, but you have to draw a moral line as some point. This is just plain wrong.

Georgia - Had this happened yesterday, it might have been funny (what with it being April 1 and all). Alas, it did not, so one can only assume that the rocket scientist who dreamt up this stunt didn't think this all the way through. Panic broke out in the nation of Georgia last week when a TV station reported that President Mikheil Saakashvili had been assassinated and that Russian tanks were rolling into the country. The television station said its broadcast, coming just 18 months after the real war between Russia and the former Soviet republic, was identified as "hypothetical" and was meant to persuade viewers that Russia is still a threat. Sort of reminds you of "War of the Worlds" doesn't it? Evidently most viewers missed the disclaimer. Now it sounds exactly like "War of the Worlds". People rushed into the streets, cell phone networks collapsed from overuse, and dozens were hospitalized for anxiety and heart attacks. One would hope that those in positions to impact the lives of some many, would have a sense of responsibility--and dare I say, a conscience--that would restrain them from "crying fire in the middle of a crowded theater". Clearly that is not the case here.

Humor - Pay attention now. If you don't you might miss the punchline. A group of 40-year old buddies discuss where to meet for dinner. They agree on a particular restaurant because the waitresses have low-cut blouses and nice breasts. Ten years later, they gather again to decide on a place to meet. They agree on that same restaurant because the food is good and the wine selection is fantastic. Ten years later, at 60, the group yet again chooses the same restaurant because it is quiet. Ten years later, at 70, they choose the same restaurant because it has wheelchair access. Ten years later, at 80, the group picks that restaurant because none of them have ever been there.

Happy Easter, everyone.

What Caught My Eye Today

Healthcare - Hard as it may be to embrace the notion that the U.S. Congress might pass some actual legislation, that indeed appears to be the case. Democrats in the House of Representatives predicted weekend passage of a sweeping healthcare overhaul that budget analysts said would cut the U.S. deficit over 10 years and dramatically expand health coverage. The Congressional Budget Office estimates that the legislation will expand insurance coverage to 32 million uninsured Americans at a cost of $940 billion over 10 years and cut the deficit by $138 billion in the same period through new fees and cost-cutting measures. Better late than never, but did it really need to be this difficult? I'm a social liberal (big surprise there), so obviously I'm in favor of extending healthcare to as many people as we can. As the richest nation on the planet, I fail to see why we wouldn't have tried to do this sooner. But that's not even my biggest gripe about this saga. How is that the the Democrats, armed with its largest mandate in decades (after the 2008 presidential election), could manage to foul this process up so badly. You idiots had a super majority in the Senate for almost two years! It's not like your Republican counterparts were offering up any competing ideas (I'm sorry, but "starting over" does not constitute a new idea). I'm in awe (not in a good way) at the gargantuan ineptitude exhibited by the Democratic leadership in managing this debacle.

That being said, the Democratic party does not have a monopoly on practice of "stupid is as stupid does."

Politics - The Republican party doesn't suffer a management problem, so much as it does an identity crisis. Tea party, RINO...it's hard to keep track of all these labels. There is a a common perception that the Tea Party movement was founded, funded and dominated by the Republican Party. Most of them are current or former Republicans -- up to 80% or more, with the rest split between Democrats, independents and Libertarians. But Tea Partiers insist that they are not beholden to the GOP and warn that Republican candidates counting on an endorsement from them in the upcoming November elections may well be disappointed. The Tea Party movement is united by three core principles: constitutionally limited government, free market ideology and low taxes. The American Constitution is a rallying cry and many now dub themselves "constitutional conservatives." Sounds pretty patriotic to me, but I cannot shake this feeling, that there is something just not right with all this. They are angry not just at what they describe as the socialist policies of U.S. President Barack Obama. They also feel Republican politicians have betrayed the party's ideals. For many in the movement, purging the party of moderate Republicans is a major goal. Conservatives derisively call moderate Republicans RINOs -- Republican In Name Only. They are angry at moderates over issues like immigration and the cap and trade climate bill. And there it is. Can someone please enlighten me as to when the concept of moderation became so toxic? And when did sensible immigration and climate control legislation become akin to becoming a socialist state? Tea Partiers are targeting not just prominent Democrats in the upcoming elections but also key moderate Republicans like Charlie Crist in Florida and former presidential candidate John McCain in Arizona. Dude, these guys are pissed at everybody. In the near term, the mostly white movement faces a possible showdown with the religious right over divisive social issues. But its biggest challenge lies in tackling its extremist fringe, including those who equate Obama with Hitler and the "birther" movement that doubts Obama's U.S. citizenship and the legitimacy of his presidency. Okay, we need to draw a distinction between political beliefs and delusional conspiracy theories. Seriously. So much for the mid-term elections being boring.

And yet, despite the almost comical state of the U.S. political landscape, we're completely boring compared to other parts of the world.

Nigeria - The speaker of Nigeria's senate has described Libya's leader Moamer Kadhafi as a 'mad man' after he suggested splitting the country between the Christian and Muslim communities to end sectarian violence. Isn't calling Kadhafi a mad man just a little bit redundant? It's like calling Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez a bit "unbalanced". Kadhafi proposed that Nigeria should follow the partition model of Pakistan, which was born in 1947 after the Muslim minority of predominantly Hindu India founded their own homeland. Right. We all know how well that worked out, don't we. That deal worked out so well that the two nations are pointing most of their nuclear arsenals at each other. Great plan. Kadhafi suggested that a Christian homeland in the south could have Lagos as its capital while a Muslim homeland in the north would have Abuja as its principal city. He said the two communities should peacefully agree to share Nigeria's oil and other natural wealth. In what parallel universe, does he imagine this might actual happen.

North Korea - And then there's these guys. North Korea executed a former senior official as punishment for the country's botched currency reform. I guess the rest of the world is behind the times. Usually, when a government official's policies don't work so well, we either ask for their resignation or vote them out of office. In November, North Korea redenominated its currency as part of efforts to lower inflation and reassert control over the country's nascent market economy. However, the measure reportedly worsened the country's food situation by forcing the closure of markets and sparked anger among many North Koreans left with piles of worthless bills. Pak Nam Gi, the ruling Workers' Party finance and planning department chief who spearheaded the currency reform, was executed by a firing squad in Pyongyang last week. Pak was accused of ruining the nation's economy in a blunder that also damaged public opinion and had a negative impact on leader Kim Jong Il's plan to hand power over to his youngest son. Well now, if that isn't grounds for "firing" someone, I don't know what is. Many North Koreans believe the government used Pak as a scapegoat for the failed currency reform. Do you think? One final thought on this. I don't wish to give the impression that I'm trivializing a very disturbing turn of events. Far from it. My intent is to call attention to that absolute lunacy being exhibited by a government, which coincidentally happens to be in possession of some serious firepower. I'm not amused by this, I'm scared.

March Madness - For those of you familiar with the annual men's college basketball tournament, this one is for you. Four games into the first round, my bracket is already hosed. Murray State (13 seed) beat Vanderbilt (4 seed). What the hell?

What Caught My Eye Today - 2010 Census Edition

Fred's Note: To regular readers of this blog, my proclivity for statistical information is well documented. (Quick sidebar. It's taken 612 postings, but I have finally managed to work one of my favorite words--proclivity--into a sentence.) So, naturally, with Census day coming up how could I pass up on the numbers bonanza about to get under way without a sharing a few ruminations on the subject. (Another sidebar. Ruminations--another bitchin' word). First a quick primer on the census.

Census - The Twenty-third United States Census is the next national census in the United States. National Census Day is April 1, 2010. The census has been conducted every 10 years since 1790, as required by the United States Constitution, with the previous one completed in 2000. The Census Bureau will no longer use a long form for the 2010 Census. In several previous censuses, one in six households received this long form, which asked for detailed social and economic information. The 2010 Census will use only a short form asking ten basic questions, including name, gender, age, date of birth, race, and homeownership status. I'll have some thoughts on this in a moment. The Government Accountability Office estimated in 2004 that the cost of the 2010 Census would be over $11 billion. This too. The results of the 2010 census will determine the number of seats each state receives in the United States House of Representatives starting with the 2012 elections. Consequently, this will also affect the number of votes that states receive in the Electoral College for the 2012 presidential election. Good news if you live in Texas and a number of other sunbelt states; not so much if you live in the rust belt or New England.

Okay, enough with the factoids. Now for some commentary.

I appreciate the fact that the Constitution states that the census is meant to count people, which I guess the census form that I filled out accomplishes, but for some reason I feel short changed. I've waited 10 years for my existence to be acknowledged by my country, and all I get to do is confirm my sex, age and address. What a letdown. And what is this about spending $11 billion on this year's census. Are they nuts? Hear me out on this one. The U.S. population is approximately 309 million. Does it really take $36 to count a person. Seriously.

But back to those questions. Here's what I've decided to do. I've come up with some of the questions that I think the Census Bureau should have asked me, and my responses would have been. Who knows. Maybe in 10 years, the census will manage to count what really matters.

1. If you could live anywhere else besides the U.S. where would you live?
   Trick question. You bastards are trying to peg me as a terrorist. Well it won't work. I am all about the Stars and Stripes, you pinkos.
2. Do you consider yourself attractive
   Hell yes.
3. Do others consider you attractive?
   The ones who can see straight think so.
4. How many Facebook friends do you have?
   Too many to count. I am just that awesome.
5. Do you consider yourself religous?
   I don't like to brag but, yes, I've been part of some "religious experiences". Giddy up.
6. Democrat or Republican?
   Oh come on. There must be some other option.
7. Red or blue?
   I see myself as more of a paisley sort of person.
8. Boxers or briefs?
   Commando all the way, baby!
9. Cats or dogs?
   Oh please. Dogs rule.
10. Heads or tails?
    Huh?
    
    Finally, for purposes of demographics:
11. Sex?
    Yes, please.
12. Age?
    Old enough to know better than to answer this one.
13. Income?
    Not nearly enough for what I bring to the table.
14. Marital Status?
    7 years and counting.
15. Occupation?
    Pre-retired.

What Caught My Eye Today

Israel - This is one of those "with friends like this, who needs enemies" stories. Last week, Israeli officials angered visiting U.S. Vice-President Joe Biden by announcing the building of 1,600 new homes in occupied East Jerusalem. Just hours before the announcement, Biden had emphasized how close relations were, saying there was "no space" between Israel and the U.S. The Obama administration said Israel's announcement of plans to build 1,600 homes for Jews in East Jerusalem was "destructive" to peace efforts. That's a little dramatic, don't you think? Palestinian leaders say indirect peace talks with Israel are now "doubtful". I'm not sure these so called indirect peace talks were going to amount to much, but still indirect talks are surely better than no talks. Israel's ambassador to the U.S., Michael Oren, was summoned to the state department and was reprimanded about the affair. Afterwards Oren said ties between Israel and the United States were at their lowest point in 35 years. Okay, scratch that last comment about the White House being too dramatic. This dude, needs to suck it up. So he got a diplomatic tongue lashing. Big deal. This sort of thing happens all time. Heck, there is probably even a script that the affected parties follow for this nonsense.

Iran - President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's hard-line government has banned Iran's largest pro-reform political party in a new strike against an opposition movement that has largely been swept from the streets since last year's post-election turmoil. Poor Mahmoud. How frustrating is this? Think about it. Boyfriend stole that election fair and square under the watchful eye of Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei. People, you need to get over this obsession with democracy. If your opinions truly mattered, don't you think that Ahmadinejad would have acknowledge that by now?

Tigers - According to the secretary general of the 175-nation Convention on International Trade in Endangered Species, the world has "failed miserably" at protecting tigers in the wild, bringing an animal that is a symbol for many cultures and religions to "the verge of extinction." Just 20 years ago there were 100,000 tigers in Asia, but now only 3,200 remain in the wild. For those of you who aren't math whizzes, that's almost a 97% decrease in population in just 20 years. Tigers are poached for their skins and parts of their bodies are prized for decoration and traditional medicine. Delegates at the U.N. conference will also consider the spike in rhino poaching and ways to combat criminal networks involved in the illegal trade in horns in parts of Africa and Asia. All in all, there are 42 proposals on the table, ranging from stopping elephant poaching to banning trade in polar bear skins. I recognize that there are complexities that need to be considered by parties that don't see eye-to-eye on very many things, but if a decision isn't reached soon, Mother Nature will take matters into her own hands, and soon the only place we will be able to see tigers, rhinos, polar bears, and elephants is in pictures. Does anyone really what to see that happen?

Time - How many times have you muttered to yourselves that there just doesn't seem to be enough time in the day to accomplish everything you set out to do? I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but things just got a bit more rushed. The massive magnitude 8.8 earthquake that rocked Chile in February was so deep and strong that it redistributed Earth's mass. That movement shifted the axis around which the Earth is balanced by about 3 inches, enough to speed up the Earth's rotation. the faster Earth rotates, the shorter the day. So just how much are we screwed by this? Not so much as it turns out. Thanks to the Chile quake, the day is now 1.26 millionths of a second shorter than it used to be, which is twice the amount of time that was sliced as a result of the 2004 earthquake in Sumatra. Let me break it down for you. If you are lucky enough to live to the year 3380, you will have been witness to the cumulative loss of one whole second.

Money - A group of 14 Republican congressmen has introduced legislation to have the image of Ronald Reagan's face enshrined on the $50 bill, displacing that of Ulysses S. Grant. Interesting, though I'd be much more in favor of a national holiday...one that my employer would be compelled to acknowledge and honor by giving me the day off. Representative Patrick McHenry (R - North Carolina) cites a recent poll that ranked Reagan as the 6th greatest American president to Grant's lowly 29th ranking and said, "every generation needs its own heroes." Yeah, winning the Civil War may have been newsworthy back in day (the Civil War was fought like a thousand years ago, wasn't it?), but it isn't as if Grant ever got anyone to tear down any walls. I'm thinking we leave well enough alone. Of course, I voted Democrat in the last election, so what do I know.

What Caught My Eye Today

Personal Wealth - The fine folks at Forbes have released their annual list of billionaires. Ay Caramba! Mexican tycoon Carlos Slim is the world's richest person ($53.5 billion) (Rat bastard), knocking Microsoft founder Bill Gates into second spot ($53 billion) (Capitalist pig). It is only the second time since 1995 that Gates has lost the crown. Investor Warren Buffett came in at No. 3 with $47 billion. I hope you choke on it. There are now 1,011 billionaires, compared with 793 in 2009 and 1,125 in 2008. May they all be struck down by lightning. The average billionaire is now worth $3.5 billion, up $500 million from last year. And the number of women on the list rose to 89 from 72 last year. For the first time, China is now home to the most billionaires outside of the United States. The top homes to billionaires are New York with 60 and Moscow with 50, followed by London with 32. There are 55 countries represented on the list with billionaires from Pakistan and Finland making appearances for the first time. Contrary to what many people might think, I bear no ill will toward anyone on this list. I'm sure they all worked very hard and are entitled to just compensation. Besides, I'm all good. Just this morning, I was fishing through my pockets and found a 5 sport. I'm living the high life.

Greece - Clashes between riot police and rock-throwing, masked youths broke out during a demonstration in Athens by tens of thousands of striking workers protesting austerity measures that the Greek government has said it has no choice but to implement. In plain English, austerity is when a government reduces its spending and/or increases taxes to pay back creditors. In other words, when governments find themselves in the awkward position of having to live within their means. The debt-ridden country is under intense pressure from both markets and the European Union to reduce its deficit from 12.7% of economic output in 2009 to 8.7% this year. While public anger has grown, it has been mitigated by a general understanding that something must be done to pull the country out of a crisis that has made its cost of borrowing skyrocket. Here's an idea. I did some checking (shocking, I know). Greece has an annual GDP of just under $382 billion. 8.7% percent of that just over $33 billion. That dude, Carlos Slim could easily cover that and have a nice tax deduction to boot. Presto. Problem solved.

Auto Defects - Perhaps you have heard about those minor defects that seem to be plaguing Toyota with increasing frequency. A Toyota executive said the company is "mystified" by a report that a California man's Prius gas pedal became stuck and caused the car to speed out of control on a California freeway. Of course they are. The driver quickly became the face of the Toyota gas pedal scandal after he called 911 to report losing control of his Prius earlier this week. His car reached nerve-rattling speeds of 94 mph before an officer helped bring it to a stop. Federal investigators are looking into the incident, and Toyota officials said they have talked extensively to man about the episode. The senior vice president of automotive operations for Toyota Motor Sales, said all Priuses are equipped with a computer system that cuts power to the wheels if the brake and gas pedals are depressed at the same time — something the man was doing. "It's tough for us to say if we're skeptical. I'm mystified in how it could happen with the brake override system," he said. Dude, it's called faulty software. Happens all the time. This why I say that software should stay in computers. Last time I checked there weren't many 3,000 pound computers barreling out of control down the interstate.

Healthcare - Conservative talk-show host Rush Limbaugh said this week he’d go to Costa Rica for medical treatment if Congress passes proposed reforms to the US healthcare system. Not a bad choice, actually. Boyfriend clearly did some homework on this one. Costa Rica has one of the longest standing socialized healthcare systems on the planet. Everyone is required to pay into the government-run health system, whether they use it or not. Life expectancy in this little Central American country surpasses that of the United States and at one point, back in the early 2000s when the World Health Organization rated countries’ general health, Costa Rica ranked higher (No. 36) than the U.S. (No. 37), despite spending 87% less on health care per capita. So here's the rub against Mr. Limbaugh. He clarified his comment about leaving the United States, after "the liberal media" celebrated his vow of self-imposed exile, viewing healthcare reform as a way to rid themselves of the conservative talk show host. "If I have to get thrown into this massive government health care insurance business and end up going to the driver's license office every day when I need to go to the doctor, yeah, I'll go to Costa Rica for treatment, not move there." Oh sure, the liberal media is at fault for Mr. Blowhard's comments. Should we assume, based in his logic, that Mr. Limbaugh's thoughts are being supplied to him by that same demonic "liberal media"? Dude, they're having fun with you. What, you've never taken advantage of any missteps of your liberal counterparts? Grow a backbone, you wuss.

What Caught My Eye Today

Law Enforcement - Here's a question for you. What would be the appropriate punishment for causing a worldwide disruption in air travel in order to kiss your girlfriend one last time before she boards a plane. Apparently, $500. A lovesick student, who dodged airport security to kiss his girlfriend goodbye has apologised for causing more than 100 flight delays, 27 cancellations and stranding 16,000 passengers. The student ducked under a rope barrier at Newark Airport in New Jersey for a final kiss with his girlfriend before she left for California and inadvertently caused a security breach which closed the terminal for six hours. He admitted that he purposefully dodged security, spotting an official leave his post, and took the moment to catch-up with his girlfriend and walk her to her gate. The student then calmly left the airport unaware of the mayhem that ensued inside. The entire terminal was evacuated and closed while officials investigated the breach and passengers were only allowed back in after being re-screened by security. The student avoided jail and was instead ordered to pay a $500 fine, plus additional court costs, and perform 100 hours of community service. Setting aside the fact that this moron is too stupid to live, I might recommend some subtle changes in appearance. If I was one of those 16,000 stranded passengers, I'd be looking for more than a few hours of community service. I'd want blood, but then again, I've been told I have anger management issues.

Education - Math and English instruction in the United States moved a step closer to uniform — and more rigorous — standards. Let me guess. Students are actually going to have to demonstrate that they can read, write and add two numbers without the use of a calculator before they are given college diplomas. The effort is expected to lead to standardization of textbooks and testing and make learning easier for students who move from state to state. The effort is endorsed by 48 states, two territories and the District of Columbia and the new standards are intended to raise expectations of student achievement in some states and be in line with the educational expectations of top-performing states and countries. There are 50 states, aren't there? Texas and Alaska are the only states not participating in the national standards effort. Texas' commissioner of education said "Texas has chosen to preserve its sovereign authority to determine what is appropriate for Texas children to learn in its public schools." Maybe it's just me, but would anyone really notice (or care) if Texas seceded from the U.S.? As for Alaska--those kids are doing just fine, if you ask me. In a recent survey, 9 out of 10 children correctly identified Russia from their houses (for those unfamiliar with Sarah Palin, the humor here is probably not terribly evident).

Egypt - Egyptian clerics are cracking down on the sinful uses of modern technology. Egypt's highest cleric issued a fatwa banning the used of the Muslim payer call or any verse from the Quran as a cell phone ring tone. This is what they're worried about? I was totally thinking something else, along the lines of adult entertainment, if you know what I mean. Another cleric call for a ban on Facebook, saying the social-networking site was breaking up marriages by encouraging people to reconnect with former flames. The cleric was responding to reports of a study that found one in five Egyptian divorces is the result of Facebook. Seems a bit draconian to me, especially considering this... The study turned out to be an Internet hoax. So to sum up: Religious ring tones - bad; Facebook - bad; Internet Porn - still okay.

Potpourri - More fascinating nuggets of information of a statistical nature.

• Personal Income - The income of the 400 richest Americans rose an average of 31% in 2007, before the recession hit. Because of tax cuts on wages and capital gains, these individuals paid an effective tax rate of 16.6% on their average income of $344.8 million. I chalk up my bitterness to the fact that as one of the hundreds of millions of 401st richest Americans, I getting totally screwed on my taxes.
• France - The French now spend an average of 31 minutes eating lunch, down from an hour and 38 minutes in 1975. I'm guessing, the spend that other hour bitching about the fact that their lunch time has been cut back so much.
• Olympics - Olympic organizers in Vancouver stocked its two Olympic Villages with 100,000 condoms--14 condoms for each of the 7,000 athletes, coaches, trainers and officials housed there. At the Sydney Games in 2000, officials handed out 70,000 condoms and had to order 20,000 more. I was under the impression that Disneyland was the happiest place on Earth. Clearly, I was way mistaken on that one.

What Caught My Eye Today

Venezuela - A Spanish judge has accused Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez of aiding in a plot to assassinate Colombian President Alvar Uribe and other Colombian officials when they traveled to Spain in 2003. The allegations are based on information obtained from the laptop computer of a FARC commander killed by Colombian armed forces in 2008, detailing links between the Colombian guerrilla group and the Venezuelan government. Venezuela's Foreign Ministry called the charges "biased and unfounded" and alleged that the Colombian government had planted the data on the laptop. Surprisingly, I find myself agreeing with Venezuela on one count, the data easily could have been planted. Though, I tend to think this smacks much more of the CIA than the Colombian government.

Zimbabwe - The Zimbabwe government has outlawed foreign businesses. Can you do that? Under the new law, foreign-owned companies must transfer at least 51% of their shares to black Zimbabweans within five years. Economists, business leader, and labor leaders all oppose the law, saying the law will strangle what little foreign investment Zimbabwe attracts. Really? I was under the impression that Zimbabwe attract no foreign investment at all. Critics fear that the shares will be given to Mugabe cronies, just as white-owned farms were seized and given to Mugabe's friends during the "land reform" program a few years ago. Tut, tut. I'm sure Mr. Mugabe has learned from his past transgressions, I don't see what could possibly go wrong with this plan. Zimbabwe suffers from runaway inflation and an unemployment rate above 90%. Seriously, with things as bad as they are now, will anyone really notice if inflation jumps a few ticks from the current annual rate of 6.5 quindecillion novemdecillion percent (65 followed by 107 zeros; I looked it up) or if the unemployment rate surges for 90% to 95%? I think not.

Brazil - A Devassa beer commercial featuring socialite Paris Hilton has been pulled from Brazialian television after complaints that it was too sexy. This is Brazil we're talking about right? After receiving complaints from viewers, the government, and at least on rival brewer, Brazil's advertising industry group asked Devassa to pull the ad, saying it violated a regulation that commercials can't treat women as sex objects. That's right. Only men can do that.. Devassa's logo is a woman in a bikini. Kind of ironic, don't you think? At any rate, you can judge for yourselves (click here). Bear in mind that this is the same country famous (or infamous) for Carnaval, which we all know has it's fair share of scantily clothed individuals of the female persuasion.

Uzbekistan - I guess you could call this "extreme population control". Under a recent Health Ministry directive, Uzbek gynecologists have been ordered to "persuade' at least two women per month to have hysterectomies a month each in order to keep the population down. In fairness to the people, I don't imagine there is a lot to do in Uzbekistan, so you cannot fault them too much for finding creative ways to pass the time. And get this. Apparently, this isn't the first time, Uzbekistan has done this sort of thing. The former Soviet republic began forced sterilizations in 1999, when it had a birth rate of more than 4 children per woman. The practice was stopped in 2003, after it was exposed but apparently has been restarted. I'm no expert, but rather than resorting to such extreme and irreversible surgical procedures, has anyone in the Uzbek government given any thought to a slightly less invasive solution. They are called CONDOMS, people! And they are 98% effective, when those horny little buggers put them on correctly.

What Caught My Eye Today

Haiti (Part I) - At last check the estimated death toll from the 7.0 magnitude earthquake that hit Haiti 11 days ago stood at 111,000. As this next item points out, Haitians are no strangers to natural disasters. Last week's earthquake came in the wake of 4 hurricanes and tropical storms in 2008 that killed hundreds. The earthquake is officially the 15th natural disaster to hit Haiti since 2001. That just ain't right.. Prior to the earthquake, more than 3,000 Haitians had died in natural disasters since the turn of the century and hundreds of thousands had been displaced. The island has the misfortune of being located directly in a geological fault zone, making it susceptible to earthquakes, and its location in the Caribbean makes it a sitting duck for hurricanes. And if that isn't bad enough, the country has endured 33 coups since its inception back in 1804. So not only are Haitians getting no sympathy from Mother Nature, but they have no competent government to help them "weather the storm".

Haiti (Part II) - If this has not come up before, let me go on the record by stating Pat Robertson is an ass. Last week on the Christian Broadcasting Network, Pat Robertson, the TV evangelist said the earthquake that hit Haiti and claimed over 100,000 lives is the Haitians own fault, presumably for practicing voodoo. In his narrow fundamentalist view, Robertson is making a First Commandment argument: When the God of Israel thunders from his mountaintop that "you shall have no other gods before me," he means it. This God rains down disaster on those who disobey. I don't know about you, but one of these days, God is going to rain down of morons like Robertson, and I, for one, won't be shedding a single tear when that day comes.

Canada - As you read this item, substitute your own nation in whenever you see the word "Canada" and your version of the legislative branch of government whenever you see the word "Parliament". Canada does not need its Parliament, according to a Maclean's editorialist. Two week ago, Prime Minister Stephen Harper declared that Parliament should that a two month recess. The editorialist wonders "Would 3 months be any worse? Or 4? Or even 6 months?". The real work of governing is done by the Prime Minister and the Cabinet. The legislature's votes on the governments proposed laws are always along party lines anyways, so really, all that is really needed is for the party leads to vote. With Parliament abolished, we would just vote for a party instead of individual legislators, and the party that won the most votes would form the government, saving the nations millions of dollars a year. Dude poses any interesting hypothesis, doesn't he. Of course, once you step back and realize that he is effectively advocating the type of government that Russia has, his suggestion seems a bit more serious.

Movies - This is a topic of frequent conversation between the missus and me whenever all time movie box office tallies make the news. At $504.9 million (in domestic gross, so far), "Avatar" may well be on track to pass "Titanic" as the top grossing film of all time. But that picture looks very different when you adjust box office numbers for ticket price inflation. By that measure, "Avatar" ranks 34th, just ahead of Disney's animated classic, "Pinocchio". Adjusted for inflation, these are the top ten grossing films of all time:

1. Gone with the Wind - $1.49 billion
2. Star Wars - $1.31 billion
3. The Sound of Music - $1.05 billion
4. E.T. - $1.04 billion
5. The Ten Commandments - $$963 million
6. Titanic - $943 million
7. Jaws - $941 million
8. Doctor Zhivago - $912 million
9. The Exorcist - $813 million
10. Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs - $801 million

Potpourri - In this edition, one of my favorite subjects--statistical trivia

• Space Transportation - Want your very own space shuttle? NASA has cut the price on the '70s era spaceships, which will go out of service late this year, from $42 million to $28.8 million apiece.
  Speaking strictly for myself, I'm holding out for them to show up on eBay before I put my bid in.
• Football - In the 174 minutes of the average football game telecast, viewers see 60 minutes of commercials, 75 minutes of players milling around, 17 minutes of replays, and 11 minutes of actual football.
  So if my math is correct, you could watch an entire season of "actual football" for your favorite team on your DVR in just two minutes longer than a single telecast. Better hope the missus doesn't figure this out, or your Sunday afternoons will be hosed next season.
• Twitter - 32 of the nation's 50 governors use Twitter. California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger has the most followers with 1,609,285. In second place is Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal with 37,147.
  The state economy may be in tatters, but to heck with that. This is something that all Californians can take pride in.

What Caught My Eye Today

Haiti - If this is the first you are hearing the horrific earthquake that hit Haiti last week, you need to seriously consider paying more attention to the world around you. We're barely two weeks into 2010, and the story of the year (perhaps even the decade) is revealing a human catastrophe that almost defies comprehension. A powerful 7.0 magnitude earthquake struck the poor island nation of Haiti last week, the strongest to hit the area in at least 200 years. The quake crushed thousands of structures, from shacks and hospitals to the National Palace and the U.N. peacekeeping headquarters. The International Red Cross said a third of Haiti's 9 million people were in desperate need of emergency aid. Troops, doctors and aid workers are pouring into Haiti even while victims of the quake that killed an estimated 200,000 people still struggled to find a cup of water or a handful of food. European nations pledged more than a half-billion dollars in emergency and long-term aid, on top of at least $100 million promised earlier by the U.S. Even if you are not able to contribute to the relief effort, take a few brief moments to reflect on all the good things in your lives, that all too often we seem to take for granted. And if nothing else say a short prayer for the Haitian people. No one deserves suffering like this. No one.

Okay, that was pretty deep. We need to lighten up the mood a bit, don't you think?

Nigeria - Thousands of protesters marched on the National Assembly building in the Nigerian capital demanding to know who was running the country. I ask myself that same question almost every day. Apparently, there are some folks in Washington who are allegedly attempting to run the country but, at the risk of stating the obvious, I'm skeptical. For the past seven weeks, President Umaru Yar'Adua has been in a Saudi Arabian hospital undergoing treatment for a hear condition and there have been rumors that he had died. Yar'Auda gave a BBC interview this week to assure his nation that he was "getting better" but gave no indication of when he would return home. Meanwhile, Nigeria has been in a constitutional crisis, because Yar'Auda has not officially turned over power to the vice president. Okay, I'll admit that I'm not much of an expert when it comes to Nigerian constitutional law, but one questions just how useful that constitution is when it provides no guidance on what to do when the president is incapacitated with a heart condition...outside the country, no less.

Canada - Depression among Canada's public servants has reach epidemic proportions, according to a recently released report from the Global Business and Economic Roundtable on Mental Health. The report says that mental health claims account for nearly half of all disability claims by public workers, including teachers, nurses, police, military and government bureaucrats. The report suggests that depression can set in because bureaucrats often end work each day feeling that they have accomplished nothing. My apologies if this comes off sounding a bit insensitive...Get over yourselves, you wankers! Find me a job where someone feels as if they are actually accomplishing something, and I'll show you someone who has are really good stash of hooch. Lighten up for crying out loud.

Japan - Tsutomu Yamaguchi has died at 93. So what? you ask. Well I'll tell you. This was, depending on how you look at it, either the luckiest or unluckiest dude in the history of humankind. On August 6, 1945, Yamaguchi survived "Little Boy," the atomic bomb that killed 140,000 people in Hiroshima. Three days later, in Nagasaki, he lived through its successor, "Fat Man," wich killed another 70,000. Although there were believed to be about 165 people who survived both blasts, he was the only one officially recognized by the Japanese government. He died of stomach cancer, likely caused by atomic radiation. Rest in peace, my man. Rest in peace..

Humor - Finally, a quick joke that will hopefully leave you with a bit of a smile... A man walks by an old lady at an ATM. Removing and replacing her glasses, she's clearly having a hard time reading the screen. So she asks the man, "Please, dear, could you check my balance for me?" "Sure," he replied. Then he pushes her over. Until next time.

What Caught My Eye Today

Potpourri - In this edition we highlight the best sort of trivia--fascinating, but utterly useless

• Information - According to a recent University of California, San Diego study, the average person spent 70% of his or her waking hours (about 11.8 hours a day) consuming information. This works out to about 33.8 gigabytes of data and 100,564 words. Over the course of the year this amounts to 3.6 zettabytes and 10,845 trillion words.
  Doesn't it make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside know that you are such enlightened creatures?
• Innocence - Internet security firm Symantec released a list of top terms searched by kids in 2009 (at the risk of stating the obvious, the results aren't terribly promising). "Porn" was in the top 4 for kids ages 7 and under, just ahead of "Club Penguin"
  If that isn't enough to make you scratch your head. I checked the full list for tweens (8 to 13) and teens (13-18). Porn didn't crack the top ten for tweens and only managed to rank 6th among teens. Both of these groups seem more interesting in "doing it" rather than "watching it" as "Sex" ranked 4th in both age groups. Should you be curious, "Google", "Youtube" and "Facebook" were the top 3 terms for all 3 age groups.
• Call signs - As you may or may not know, the US Secret Service assigns "call signs" for POTUS (that would be the President to you civilian folk) and other high ranking government officials under its protection. See if you can guess which recent POTUS matches up with these call signs. I'll give you the answers at the end of this posting--Trailblazer, Rawhide, Volunteer, Deacon, Eagle. Searchlight, Passkey, Timberwolf.

Terrorism - I'm a bit late on this one, but if you didn't catch this one on the news, then its news to you, isn't it? A Slovak man unwittingly carried a hidden explosive on board a flight from Slovakia to Dublin, Ireland, after a Slovak airport-security test went awry. Slovak officials had placed different bomb components in the check-in luggage of 9 passengers to see if security screeners would spot the contraband. One of the bags containing 3 ounces of explosive got through. Slovak authorities expressed profound regret to Ireland. Gee whiz, that's awfully big of them. Let me see if I've got this straight. Apparently, it isn't enough of a challenge trying to prevent people who actually want to blow up planes from getting past security. No no. let's get some poor unsuspecting slob to smuggle the stuff. Oh sure, dude might get detained by authorities and locked up for being a terrorist all in the name of testing security...but so what?

Mexico - It's traditional in Mexico for women to buy new underwear on New Year's Day for good luck. Most by red ones, which are said to help the wearer find love in the new year. This year, yellow--which symbolizes wealth--out sold red by a margin of two to one. Mexico's economy was the hardest hit in all of Latin America in 2009, shrinking by more than 7%. Not surprisingly, Mexicans are seeking money instead of love. So many thoughts come to mind, but I'll limit myself to one that is suitable for all audiences (yes, even those sex-crazed 7 year olds). Love is a wonderful thing, no doubt about it. But let's be real here. It don't pay the rent and it don't put food on the table.

France - It's the fact that this story comes out of France that makes me chuckle. France may soon make it a crime for couples to insult each other. The French government is drafting a law banning "psychological violence" between married or cohabited couples. French officials say verbal abuse often leads to physical abuse. They hope the new policy will prevent domestic abuse by catching potential abusers before they move from words to fists. Critics say the measure would be impossible to enforce. Do you think? Admittedly, I derive pleasure out of mocking the French (as I'm sure they do mocking Americans), but honestly, if these morons pass this law, France will become, without question, a nation of mutes. On a more serious note, I'm a firm believer in not keeping one's emotions bottled up. This rarely ends well. You can only absorb so much before you reach a breaking point--which more than likely will result in more than a few choice words spoken in an elevated tone.

South Africa - President Jacob Zuma got married last week...for the fifth time. Here comes the interesting part. South Africa now has three first ladies. The 67-year old Zuma lost one wife to divorce and one to suicide and has another fiancee for who he has already paid a dowry. Zuma, father of 19 children said, "there are plenty of politicians who have mistresses and children that they hide so as to pretend they're monogamous. I prefer to be open." Yeah, way to take the high moral ground there, sparky. For the record, polygamy is legal in South Africa and practiced among Zuma's fellow Zulus.

Potpourri (Part II): Alright then. Let's see how well you matched up the President with his call sign.

• Trailblazer: George W. Bush
• Rawhide: Ronald Reagan
• Volunteer: Lyndon B Johnson
• Deacon: Jimmy Carter
• Eagle: Bill Clinton
• Searchlight: Richard Nixon
• Passkey: Gerald Ford
• Timberwolf: George H. W. Bush

Should you be interested in more Secret Service code name (I know I am), click here.

What Caught My Eye Today - 2010 Winter Olympics Preview

Fred's Note: Faithful readers are well aware of my interest for less mainstream sports--at least in the US--as evidenced by frequent postings from the world of motor sports (NASCAR, F1), football (aka soccer), cycling (go Lance) and, of course, yachting (hey, billionaires can be athletes too). Add to that list, the Olympics.

Winter Olympics - For those of you in the know, it comes as no big surprise that the US is not exactly known for its prowess in winter sports. I have gone on record as suggesting that it will be a major accomplishment if the US manages to break the top 10 in medal count at the upcoming Olympic Games being hosted in Vancouver, British Columbia next month. That being said, it turns out that the good ol' US of A is actually second (Norway tops the list) in total medals awarded at the Winter Olympics (click here), though it is worth mentioning that only 12 nations have participated in all 20 Winter Olympic Games that have been conducted. I also have to give props to the Stars and Stripes for its performance at the 2006 games, where we came in second (Germany took first) in total medals with 25 (9 gold, 9 silver and 7 bronze). So where am I going with all this? Glad you asked. I did some digging and found some predictions on how well the US might do this time around.

• Biathalon: 0 medals
  Seeing as we've never won a medal in this sport...ever...not much of a surprise that this year won't be any different.
• Alpine Skiing: 4 medals (2 gold)
  Two words for you--Lindsey Vonn.
• Cross-Country Skiing: 0 medals
  Unlike the biathalon, we've actually managed to score one medal...back in 1976.
• Freestyle Skiing: 3 medals (no gold)
  Seeing as we sort of invented the sport, you would hope that we walk away with some hardware.
• Snowboarding: 6 medals (3 gold)
  Pretty much the same deal as freestyle skiing, plus we still have our boy Shaun White tearing things up at the ripe old age of 22.
• Ski Jumping: 0 medals
  The fact that experts would consider a top 20 finish as a victory shows just how far the US has to go before it can even dream about getting a medal.
• Nordic-combined : 1 medal.
  Surprisingly, the US has some dude winning some World Cup events this season who may be able to claim a medal for the US for the first time ever.
• Bobsled: 2 medals
  Seriously, is this like one of the coolest sports to watch or what?
• Skeleton: 1 medal
  Ditto.
• Luge: 0 medals
  Not to sound like a broken record, but ditto.
• Figure Skating: 1 medal
  The US runs a serious risk of taking home no medals for the first time. It's best hope for hardware is ice dancing. Ice dancing? But we suck at ice dancing.
• Speed skating: 4 medals (2 gold)
  This event sort of reminds me of swimming or track and field. Given all the distances that are contested, we should be able to pick up a few medals.
• Short track: 3 medals (1 gold)
  This totally reminds me of roller derby, but on ice. Look for Apolo Anton Ohno to hang up his dance shoes and bring home some precious medal.
Hockey: 2 medals (1 gold)
Apparently, the US women's team is the surest bet for gold the US has this year.
• Curling: 1 medal
  I don't really understand why, but I turn this on and the next thing I know I've lost 3 hours out of my day. Something about men with brooms, I guess.

By my calculations, if these predictions play out, the US will pick up 27 medals (9 gold). If so, this would be a slight improvement over the 25 medals it took home from Turin in 2006.

What Caught My Eye Today - 2010 Predictions

Fred's Note: I'm getting off to a late start this year (and, I guess decade). As I did last year, I'm going to start off with some expert predictions, followed by some of my own.

2010 Predictions (Part I) - This according to the "experts".

1. The start of WWIII. The war will begin in November of 2010 and will end in October of 2014. Will start as a normal war, then will include usage of nuclear and chemical weapons.
   I got this from some Russian prophetess named Baba Vanga. Nuclear holocaust aside, doesn't saying the name "Baba Vanga" make you chuckle...just a little bit?
2. One or two US Supreme Court justices may become seriously ill or die by 2010.
   Yeah, I can see that, what with the average age of Supreme Court justices being up there with the discovery of dirt.
3. One or two more elderly Senators will die by the end of the year.
   Death...the ultimate term limit.
4. Confusion over leadership leads to the collapse of the North Korean government.
   What's this I hear? Some doubt over the succession of Kim Jong Il to 'junior'. Shocking.
5. At least 3 Democrats will lose their seats to Republican or Independent candidates in the next election.
   If it is only 3 I, for one, will be stunned.
6. Somalia will become a deadly battleground for the US.
   Would that be before or after we start fighting in Yemen?
7. The Pacific Ring of Fire will trigger many storms and threats of a typhoon and/or tsunami damaging the Philippines, Malaysia, Vietnam, and China.
   In other words, what has been happening for the past few years, will continue in 2010.
8. An assassination attempt will be made on Afghanistan President, Hamid Karzai.
   Sadly, that doesn't seem very far-fetched.
9. Tiger Woods attempts suicide.This on the other hand...not going to happen.
10. The Dow Jones Industrial average will finish the year under 9000.
    In an election year? I seriously doubt it.

2010 Predictions (Part II) - Okay my turn...

1. Olympics: The US will make the top 10 in medal count...barely.
2. Economy: The US unemployment rate will drop to 9.5%
3. Economy: The Dow Jones Industrial average will finish above 11,750. I'm an optimist.
4. International: Greece will be dissolved after it defaults on its national debt. Okay, not really, but I'm betting Greece will default on its international debt obligations.
5. International: Queen Elizabeth II will celebrate her Diamond Jubilee (60 years as queen). Sorry, Chuck.
6. Soccer: The US will make it into the knock out stage in the World Cup. Due mostly to the fact that they lucked out with a relatively easy draw (Algeria, England, Slovenia, US).
7. Cycling: Lance Armstrong will win his 8th Tour de France title.
8. Golf: Tiger Woods will win at least one major. What with that nasty upcoming divorce and lack of endorsement deals, dude will have to rely on his winnings to make rent.
9. Pop Culture: Brad Pitt and Angela Jolie breakup. Something tells me Pitt just isn't a "'one woman for life" type of guy. (Thanks to CK for pointing out to me that Brangelina are not actually married).
10. Pop Culture: A female will win this year's American Idol. After two years of all male finalists, it's about time, don't you think?

What Caught My Eye Today - 2009 Predictions Revisited

Fred's Note: At the beginning of this year (click here), I reported on predictions for 2009 from both the experts and yours truly. Let's see how we did, shall we.

• There will be an assassination attempt on Barack Obama.
  No assassination attempts this year, just a Nobel Peace Prize.
• There will be serious tensions within Europe as the Euro free falls with both France and Germany threatening to leave the European Union.
  They got this one partially right. France and Germany are still in the EU and the Euro is still worth a lot more than the greenback, but Greece is in a major world of financial hurt.
• There is a world wide rekindling of socialist ideals and a major swing back towards communism in Russia.
  I hate to admit it, but the prognosticators hit this one out of the ballpark. Though in Russia's case, I'm thinking there isn't so much a swing towards communism as there is toward "Putinism".
• There will be a major terrorist attack in Dubai.
  Not so much a terrorist attack as it was an attack of reality on the free-spending ways of the sheik. Big brother over in Abu Dhabi was not happy with his under sibling.
• There will be a knife attack on a top celebrity.
  No knife attacks, but man, what a tough year for the celebrity circuit.
• Afghanistan, Pakistan, Bangladesh, Nepal will continue to be unstable nations with corrupt governments.
  No way! These dude totally had their "poop" together this past year.

And then there were my predictions:

• The New York Stock Exchange will close the year above 10500.
  Though there are still 2 trading days left, the Dow close at 10,545. I'm claiming victory on this one.
• Lindsay Lohan will become pregnant
  Shockingly, Ms. Lohan was relatively quiet this year. Pity.
• Prince Charles will not become the King of England...again.
  By sheer coincidence I saw a tabloid a couple of days ago saying Elizabeth II had given her throne to young William. Chalk up another one for me.
• An industrial accident will claim thousands of lives in China
  I'm going with a draw on this one; too difficult to prove what sort on craziness goes on in the Middle Kingdom.
• One of the ex-Presidents will die.
  I'm okay with getting this one wrong.
• The world will miraculously make it through another year without a "dirty bomb" being detonated.
  Right again, though we sure seem to have dodged a lot of close calls this past year.
• The Chicago Cubs will not win the World Series...again.
  Hey, right is right no matter how easy the prediction was.
• Tiger Woods will win at least one major in 2009
  5 tournament wins but no majors. Yeah that's what we'll remember him for in 2009.
• Lance Armstrong will finish in the top 3 in this year's Tour De France.
  Who's da man?
• Osama bin Liden will celebrate yet another year as a fugitive rather than behind bars.
  Maybe the dude died already, and we just haven't gotten the memo yet.

So whose inner Nostradamus has more game? The experts went 2 of 6 and I was 6-3-1. I'll let the record speak for itself.

What Caught My Eye Today

Top Stories of 2009 - According to the fine folks at the Associated Press.

1. The Economy - Let me break it down for you: 2008 - sucked, 2009 - still sucked, and 2010 - more suckage expected.
2. Obama Inauguration - I'm more impressed that the American public was able to overlook the fact that this dude's middle name is "Hussein" than the fact that he's the first black president.
3. Healthcare - Congress may actually pull of healthcare reform before year's end. So why doesn't that make me feel any better?
4. Auto Industry - Some PR firm is going to have to come up with a new nickname. I don't think "The Big Three" is going to cut it anymore.
5. Swine Flu - Strange, I though H1N1 was much more appealing than "pig flu."
6. Afghanistan - Sort of a bad news / good news story. Bad news: we're still there. Good news: now we have a plan. Okay, so maybe its a bad news / wishful thinking story.
7. Michael Jackson - Thus far the King of Pop's legacy seems to be mostly positive, which is somewhat surprising given all the weirdness that surrounding him while he was alive.
8. Fort Hood Rampage - It's frightening to contemplate the perpetrator of this tragedy was supposed to be helping soldiers with mental health issues. Our troops deserve so much better.
9. Edward Kennedy dies - After all tragedy the Kennedy family has endured, somehow it is a bit comforting that this Kennedy died of natural causes.
10. Miracle on the Hudson - Feel good story of the year, without a doubt. Rumor has it that "Sully" might crack the top 10 in baby names next year.

Sweden - A popular Swedish fast food chain is encouraging its customer to reduce their carbon footprints by eating less beef. Next to each menu item, Max Burger (you just can't make this stuff up) now lists the amount, in kilograms, of greenhouse gases emitted to produce it. The all-beef burgers are the worst offenders, while the falafel burgers and half-beef/half-soy burgers are deemed more earth-friendly. "We hope to change the whole of the fast food industry," said a company spokesperson. Yeah, good luck with that, sparky. Anyone want odds on whether or not this chain will still be solvent this time next year?

Canada - I'll bet you a nickel you cannot make it through this story without laughing. Canadian scientists researching the effects of pornography on young men have had to scrap their plans, as they could not find any young men who had not watched pornography. Big surprise there. And you're laughing too, aren't ya? Researchers had hoped to compare a group of admitted porn users with a "control group" of men in their 20s who had never viewed pornography, but couldn't find any. Instead they found young, single men spent about two hours every week viewing porn on the Internet. Okay, now I'm surprised. Two hours a week? Right. Maybe if they had said two hours a day, but two hours a week?

Potpourri - More items for the "Are you serious?" file.

• A California man is suing the makers of the "World of Warcraft" online video game for $1 million, saying the game has left him "sad, lonely, and alienated."
  I'm thinking this guys personality may have something to do with that as well.
• A California man is proposing a ballot initiative to ban heterosexual divorce saying "Since California has decided to protect traditional marriage, it would be hypocritical of us not to sacrifice some of our own rights to protect traditional marriage even more."
  Unusual logic, but you have to admit, he does sort of make a valid argument.
• A Florida woman was arrested on charges of falsely reporting a bomb at an airport. Police say she called in the threat in order to delay a flight to Honduras, because her boss was running late.
  Wow, that's serious dedication. She must be running for Secretary of the Year honors.
• A Swedish man has abandoned efforts to produce milk from his own breasts. He was convinced that with daily 3-hour breast-pumping sessions, he could stimulate himself to lactate, thus liberating the mother of his child from bearing the brunt of childcare responsibilities. All he got was sore breasts.
  Words elude me on this one. I'm utterly speechless.

What Caught My Eye Today

India - Forty years after the Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty (NPT) was signed, an agreement that prohibits nonnuclear states from acquiring such weapons, India's Prime Minister Monmohan Singh announced that India is willing to join the NPT as a nuclear weapons state. Before I rain on their parade, here's a bit more on why this pronouncement is newsworthy...yeah whatever. By pursuing NPT status India stands to gain several benefits. It would enhance the country's image as a responsible great power without forcing it to sacrifice its nuclear deterrent. It would serve as a strong warning to Iran about its suspected NPT violations. And it would help India deflect calls to join the Comprehensive Nuclear Test Ban Treaty, an agreement that would ban testing of all nuclear weapons. As I subtly alluded to a few moments ago, it is my belief that this is much ado about nothing. First of all, in order to admit India to the NPT, the agreement has to be amended to allow India to sign onto a treaty specifically intended to prohibit nations from developing nuclear weapons if they didn't already have that capability prior to 1967. Seriously, what's the point. Given that logic, we might as well kill two birds with one stone and sign North Korea up for this deal along with India. As for the suggestion that this gesture will somehow act as a deterrent to Iran, I have two words for you--AS IF. Since when has Iran cared about what any other nation has thought of its actions? I contend that this will serve as motivation that Iran can keep on its current course. If India can get away with ignoring the NPT, why can't Iran? And lastly, let me see if I have this straight. India wants to join a treaty that it has previously ignored, so it can avoid participating in another treaty with pretty much the same purpose as the NPT. Does this sound peculiar to anyone besides me?

Canada - As you may have heard, there is a climate conference going on for the next two weeks in Denmark. I stumbled upon this little nugget a couple of days ago. Canada has long been revered as a champion of good causes but to many delegates attending the conference in Copenhagen, Canada is just another eco-hostile petrostate, thanks in large part to its unapologetic support for its extremely dirty but highly lucrative energy industry, especially the carbon-spewing Alberta tar sands. Interestingly, this is just the latest in Canada's fall from grace among the eco-friendly set. Three years ago, Canada formally dropped its commitment to the Kyoto Protocol and Canadian carbon dioxide emissions have risen 25% since 1999. And the Climate Change Performance Index for 2009 ranks Canada 59th, just one place ahead of Saudi Arabia. Right then. Let's put this into proper context, shall we? Canada is cashing in on an energy source that has been known to exist for years but only recently become financially feasible given the recent run up in oil prices. I challenge any country to claim that it wouldn't have done the same thing (especially in the current economic environment) given the same opportunity that was presented to Canada. As for dropping the Kyoto Protocol, at least they participated for most of it. The limits are scheduled to expire in 2013 and the biggest polluters were not following the protocol at all (China, Russia, Brazil and, of course, the United States). I really don't see this as being that much of a sell out. And that 25% increase in carbon emissions? Amateurs. The U.S. is good for almost 21% of the global emissions compared with Canada's 1.9%. Though curiously, the U.S. is expected to have a 6.1% decrease in emissions for 2009. Finally, a silver lining to that 10% unemployment rate. Who would have thought that not working would be good for the environment? Anyway, my point is this. Canada might not be the poster child for environmental responsibility, but even with recent developments these dudes are miles better than those of us who couldn't be bothered to even try to make an effort to improve until now.

Begging - Each year, more and more people are going online for their holiday shopping, but in these hard times, the Internet is also becoming a place where people in need can ask for a handout. Heck, everything else is schlepped on the 'Net. I suppose it was just a matter of time before begging caught on.. There are thousands of appeals on craigslist and on other Web sites devoted to begging, such as Begslist, CyberBeg and DonateMoney2me.com. Some sites charge up to $45 a month. Sort of defeats the purpose, don't you think? DonateMoney2me.com says that's so it can provide better services, including advice on how to enhance an online appeal by using phrases such as "with your help, we can go on" and "your generosity can give a new lease on life.". That totally makes sense. These guys are totally providing a service. After all, it requires a lot of effort to find just the right phrases to steal from all those Hallmark cards.

Tiger Woods - I thought that I was going to avoid talking about this Tiger Woods nonsense, but clearly I was mistaken. I appreciate that it's hard to have much sympathy for a dude making $90 million a year who got caught with his hand in the wrong cookie jar, but seriously, how much must it suck to be this guy right now? Here's a quick recap of what has to be considered a contender for the "Worse Week Ever" award. Tiger Woods’ recent car accident has led to a media firestorm surrounding his personal life. The world’s No. 1 golfer hit a hydrant and a tree on Nov. 27, and he was cited for careless driving and fined $164. The accident and Woods’ refusal to answer questions about it—fueled speculation about a possible dispute between him and his wife, Elin. Woods has been out of the public eye since the crash and subsequent allegations of extramarital affairs. Last week, Woods issued a statement saying he had let his family down with unspecified "transgressions" that he regrets with "all of my heart." Translation: "I can't believe Elin found out. Damn that caller id!" But wait there's more. Late last week, it was reported that Elin bought a $2 million cottage on a secluded island in Sweden with her twin sister--sheer coincidence, I'm sure. And then, this week there was another 911 call from the Woods' estate--this time because Elin's mother was suffering from chest pains. Reckless driving, marital problems, and mother-in-law suffering chest pains? Come on, you have to feel some sympathy for this poor bastard. But wait, there's still more. Apparently Tiger was being considered for the Congressional Medal of Honor, the highest award Congress has to honor civilians for achievements and contributions to society. Not no more. Oh, I almost forgot. Gatorade is taking the Tiger-themed Focus sports drink off the market due to slumping sales. This chump cannot catch a break.

What Caught My Eye Today

Iran - On the off chance that you are not up on the latest political dish in Iran, trust me when I say this is a pretty big deal. A not-so-quiet debate is brewing inside the seminaries of Qum, Iran's religious capital, over how to abolish the post of the all-powerful Supreme Leader of the Islamic Republic. Critics charge that the position--whose legitimacy is derived directly from God (I've heard of mandates, but this seems a bit over the top, don't you think?) -- is based on a radical interpretation of Islam. Top Shiite scholars have compared allegiance to the Supreme Leader to an act of polytheism (which I'm guessing is bad) and have suggested to Ayatollah Ali Khamenei that "your religious legitimacy has vanished." That doesn't sound so good either. Few clerics have yet to openly call for the abolition of the post, which would be and act of treason (Now I know that's bad. They chop off heads for stuff like that).

Russia (Part I) - Pope Benedict XVI and visiting Russian President Dmitry Medvedev agreed to upgrade Vatican-Kremlin relations to full diplomatic ties. A Vatican statement said Benedict and Medvedev agreed that Russia will upgrade its representation at the Vatican from a special mission to embassy level and that the Vatican will reciprocate in Moscow. The step forward on the diplomatic front comes at the same time as a warming in previously tense relations between the Russian Orthodox Church and the Vatican. Usually I would applaud this as a rather substantial reconciliation. Religion is like family. Nothing about it is ever clear cut and simple. But I digress. Like I said, usually I would applaud this, however, recent events suggest this might just be a temporary thawing.

Russia (Part II) - Prime Minister Vladimir Putin sent his strongest signal yet that he plans to return to Russia's presidency, telling millions of TV viewers that he will consider running in 2012. Putin has remained Russia's consummate leader since constitutional term limits forced him to step down in 2008. He named Medvedev as his anointed successor and, shortly after the election, Medvedev named him prime minister. At least the sanctity of the Russia constitution is still in tact. The premiership had been a comparatively low-profile position, but Putin has pushed it into the spotlight, logging more TV time in the Medvedev era than the president himself. Medvedev has appeared to be little more than a figurehead and placeholder. Hey now. Is it Putin's fault that he's more photogenic, more charasmatic, more handsome, more intelligent, wiser...not to mention blessed with rock hard abs--but I digress again. Where was I? Oh yeah. Is it Putin's fault that Medvedev is such a sap? I think not. And why shouldn't the Russian people have a leader worthy of their support. Screw the Constitution, I say.

Humor - This joke made me laugh. Ordinarily, this wouldn't be so noteworthy, but here's the thing. This joke has no political undertones and doesn't poke fun at any group or stereotype (unless you are a talking dog). A guy is driving around and sees a sign in front of a house that reads, "Talking dog for sale." So he stop and the owner takes him out to the backyard to see the dog. "You talk?" he asked. "Yes I do." the dog replied. "When I was a puppy, the CIA had me jetting from country to country sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. Now I'm retired." The man was amazed and asked the dog's owner how much he wanted for the dog. "Ten dollars." the owner said. "Ten dollars? Why on earth would you want to sell him for so little?" "Because he's a liar. He never did any of that stuff."

What Caught My Eye Today

Fred's Note: Should you be looking for comment on Tiger Woods personal life or Obama's war strategy for Afghanistan, you will have to look elsewhere. It's not that I don't care about the Afghanistan story, but if you have access to the same news outlets that I do, you've heard enough analysis in the past 24 hours to last the rest of this year...and probably most of next year as well. As for Tiger Woods and his alleged extra marital affair; we've heard this story before and we all know how it ends.

World Hunger - A depressing subject got even more depressing last week. Some 60 heads of state gathered in Rome for a summit on food security rejected a United Nations call for rich nations to commit billions of dollars to develop agriculture in countries where hunger is widespread and also shot down the U.N.'s call for a pledge to end hunger by 2025. I realize that resources are limited and there is not an endless supply of money to fund every philanthropic endeavor, but this seems like a pretty worthwhile cause that could yield tangible results rather quickly as compared to ending global warming or ridding the world of nuclear weapons. About 1 billion people--almost one out of every six people on the planet--are underfed and a child somewhere dies of hunger every six seconds. Seriously, what am I missing here? How much more urgency is needed to justify some action on this?

Mexico - As if we needed another indication of just how bad the global recession has hit the United States. Now it appears that we're taking hand outs from our neighbors south of the border. Mexicans have begun sending money to their relatives north of the border, instead of the other way around. The so-called "reverse remittances," once extremely rare, are becocming more common as Mexicans who moved to the U.S. for work have lost their jobs. Banks report that money sent from Mexicans in the U.S. back home say that amount has dropped more than 13% in the past year. Lucky for Mexico it has a thriving drug trade that can help fill in for all that lost revenue from the U.S.

Nepal - A quarter-million aminals were slaughtered in a festival honoring Gadhimai, a Hindu goddess of power. That shreik you just heard came from the folks at PETA, who clearly had a very, very bad week. The festival is held every 5 years in Hindu communities areoud the world. The Nepal gathering is the largest. Following the ritual slaughter--mostly of buffaloes, goats, chickens and pigeons--the meat was taken back to villages for local feasts. The meat of animals consecrated to Gadhimai is said to protect Hindues from evil. Animal-rights activists reportedly encouraged pilgrims to substitute coconuts and other fruites for the sacrifice, but met with little success. Big surprise. Think about it. What self-respecting diety would be satisfied with a ritualistic sacrifice of fruit salad?

Potpourri - More head scratchers from--you guessed it--the world of juris prudence.

• Good Deeds - A Pennsylvania Boy Scout who spent more than 200 hours clearing a hiking trail in a city park has drawn the ire of a municipal union. A spokesperson for the Service Employees International Union threatened to file a grievance, saying only union members can work in the park.
  I guess the saying is true--no good deed goes unpunished.
• Marriage - A California man is suing the San Francisco International Airport for $15 million, claiming that the airport noise ruined his marriage. The man says his marriage "went downhill almost immediately upon moving" into the house in 2003 and he blames airplanes for driving his wife of 13 years to leave him.
  Hey, Einstein. When you were shopping around for houses, were you completely oblivious to all those airplanes flying around you? I'm not sure I'd blame the airport for your marital problems. Perhaps you should look for a different source. Might I suggest taking a look in the closest mirror?