What Caught My Eye Today

Fred's Note: Sorry for the gap in postings. You know how it is...got to pay the bills.

Taliban - The commander of the Pakistani Taliban claimed responsibility for a deadly assault on a Pakistani police academy and said the group was planning a terrorist attack on the White House that would "amaze" the world. Screw the element of surprise. Where would the challenge be if your target didn't know you were gunning for them? The threat comes days after President Barack Obama warned that al-Qaida is actively planning attacks on the United States from secret havens in Pakistan. The group said it would carry out more attacks unless Pakistani troops withdraw from tribal areas near the Afghan border and the U.S. stops its drone strikes. The Pakistani Taliban leader also said he was not deterred by the U.S. bounty on his head: "I wish to die and embrace martyrdom." Don't ask me why, I get the feeling this dude is going to get his wish. I'm not talking about the bombing of the White House (dream on, spark plug), but the martyrdom bit--embrace away, homeboy.

China - China denied a research report's contention that a China-based computer spy ring stole sensitive information from thousands of hard drives worldwide, calling the accusation a lie meant to feed anxiety over Beijing's growing influence. What did the world expect China to say--"Yup, we did. You got us dead to rights. Our bad." I don't think so. The report said that a network, based mainly in China, hacked into classified documents from government and private organizations in 103 countries, including the computers of the Dalai Lama and his exiled Tibetan government and added to growing concerns that China has become a center for cyber-warfare, spying and crime. Industry watchdogs have complained about junk e-mail generated in China. Spam is annoying, and those responsible for generating it should be publicly flogged, but what does junk email have to do with espionage? The spying network, dubbed GhostNet, was able to take full control of infected computers, rifling files and even activating microphones and Web cameras to spy on people present. Invasion of privacy issues aside, you have to be impressed by what these guys have pulled off. "Is big brother is watching?" You betcha.

Iran - In a cautious first step toward unlocking 30 years of tense relations, senior U.S. diplomat Richard Holbrooke had a brief but cordial meeting with Iran's deputy foreign minister. The meeting was the first official face-to-face interplay between the Obama administration and the Iranian regime. Naturally, nothing substantive was discussed, but you have to start someplace. As the fortune cookie says, "Journey of a thousand miles, begins with a single step." The gathering was being closely watched for signs that the U.S. and Iran can work together on a common problem after years of hostility. The two countries cooperated in 2001 and 2002 after U.S.-led forces ousted Afghanistan's Taliban government. But relations were frozen during the administration of George W. Bush, who referred to Iran as part of the "Axis of Evil." I guess with Obama in charge, it comes as no surprise that the opportunity to "shock and awe" the crap out of Iran has come and gone. Darn it all to heck. I hate when the hope of world peace gets in the way of a good beat down.

Sports - Lot's happened over the weekend. Here's a quick recap--Fred's style.

Basketball - The madness is over for yours truly. I have one team left in the Final Four -- North Carolina. Sadly, I picked Louisville to win. Last I checked on Yahoo Fantasy Sports, I ranked in the 58th percentile. A mere 1,028,000 people are ahead of me in the standings.

Golf - Who da man? Tiger Woods. In his third tournament back from reconstructive knee surgery, Tiger overcame a 5 shot deficit to win the Bay Hill Invitational...for the sixth time. Next up for da man--the Masters in two weeks.

Motor Sports - First stock car racing. My boy Jeff Gordon (#24) hasn't won in 46 races, his longest draught ever, but the dude is leading the NASCAR points race after finishing in the top 10 five of the six races run this year. Over on the Formula One circuit, the 18 race season kicked off this weekend in Australia. Aside from the fact that a brand new team took the top two spots, I think the bigger story was last year's champion, Lewis Hamilton managed to take third place after starting last. If you don't follow Formula One (and I'm guessing most of you don't), take my word for it when I say, this dude pulled off an amazing feat in racing series that is not known for much passing.

What Caught My Eye Today

U.S. Economy - This is a classic case of sour grapes if you ask me. I'll explain in a moment. The head of the European Union slammed President Barack Obama's plan to spend nearly $2 trillion to push the U.S. economy out of recession as "the road to hell" that EU governments must avoid. The blunt comments by Czech Prime Minister Mirek Topolanek to the European Parliament highlighted simmering European differences with Washington ahead of a key summit next week on fixing the world economy. Mind you that Topolanek is not haven't a great week. Yesterday, the Czech Republic Parliament passed a vote of no-confidence, effectively ousting Topolanek as Prime Minister. Shocked by the outburst, other European politicians went into damage control mode, with some reproaching the Czech leader for his language and others reaffirming their good diplomatic ties with the United States. Notice, if you will, that none of these folks said Topolanek was wrong, just that his comments were inappropriate. Of course, Topolanek has the luxury of literally having nothing to lose, so why not speak his mind.

U.S. Postal Service - The post office will run out of money this year unless it gets help, Postmaster General John Potter told Congress as he sought permission to cut delivery to five days a week. The agency lost $2.8 billion last year and is looking at much larger losses this year. Reducing mail delivery from six days to five days a week could save $3.5 billion annually. Any chance that reducing mail service from six days to five, will cut back the amount of junk mail I receive? I figure the bills will keep coming regardless, but less junk mail would be nice. Officials said the recession has contributed to a mail volume drop of 5.2 billion pieces compared to the same period last year. If there is no economic recovery, the USPS projects volume for the year will be down by 12 billion to 15 billion pieces of mail. So there is hope--no more Publishers' Clearing House mailers. It just goes to show that in every dark cloud there is a silver lining. If the Postal Service does run out of money, the question is which bills will be paid and which will not. I ask myself that same questions nearly everyday. Frankly, I'm not too enamored with any of the creditors that I'm paying every month.

Saudi Arabia - The more I read about this country, the more I am fascinated and, this almost goes without saying, amused by it. A group of Saudi women — sick of having to deal with male sales staff when buying bras or panties, not to mention frilly negligees or thongs — have launched a campaign this week to boycott lingerie stores until they employ women. It's an irony of the kingdom's strict segregation of the sexes. Only men are employed as sales staff to keep women from having to deal with male customers or work around men. But in lingerie stores, that means men are talking to women about bras or thongs, looking them up and down to determine their cup sizes, even rubbing the underwear to show how stains can be washed out. The result is mortifying for everyone involved. Perhaps I'm in the minority here, but I find this positively hilarious. Since this is Saudi Arabia, we're talking about, maybe there is a simple solution to all this. These dude used to have harems right? All the Saudis need to do is find some retired eunuchs looking to supplement their retirement, and presto--problem solved.

Papua New Guinea - A brilliant green tree frog with huge black eyes, jumping spiders and a striped gecko are among more than 50 new animal species scientists have discovered in a remote, mountainous region of Papua New Guinea. The findings are significant, particularly the discovery of the new frog species; frogs are often regarded as a great bioindicator of environmental health. In this day and age, its rare to find a bit of good news. And what could be better than the discovery of life. Naturally, since we now know that these new species exist, their fates are sealed. If us humans are good at anything, it's figuring out how to screw up the nature balance of things.

What Caught My Eye Today

Economy - President Obama took to the airwaves this evening. Guess what he talked about? I'll give you a hint; it wasn't to announce a new family pet. President Barack Obama said his attempts to lead the nation out of economic turmoil are beginning to yield results. Obama also cast his budget — now under review in Congress — as essential if the economy is to recover. The tax and spending plan "is inseparable from this recovery because it is what lays the foundation for a secure and lasting prosperity," he said. What else was the guy going to say about his budget? "Well golly, folks. Maybe it's work and maybe it won't." I don't think so. I'll tell you what he said that did impress me. Obama was quick with a retort when asked about Republican criticism of his budget, with its huge projected deficits. "First of all," he said he inherited a deficit of over $1 trillion from his predecessor. And secondly, he said the Republicans have yet to offer an alternative to his own tax and spending plan. While, I'm not sure that Obama will be able to use that inherited bit indefinitely, I'm all over that second bit. The Republican party lost power in November in a big way, but that does not mean the Republicans are absolved of their responsibility to help fix this economic mess. And by fixing I don't just mean criticizing everything the other side is proposing. The Grand 'Ol Party needs to come up with some solutions of its own to reinvigorate the economy especially if it ever wants to recapture some of the power it lost in the last election.

International Space Station - I love it when a plan goes awry...and no one gets hurt. NASA's online contest to name a new room at the International Space Station went awry. Comedian Stephen Colbert won. The name "Colbert" beat out NASA's four suggested options in the space agency's effort to have the public help name the addition. NASA's mistake was allowing write-ins. Colbert urged viewers of his Comedy Central show, "The Colbert Report," to write in his name. And they complied, with 230,539 votes. That clobbered Serenity, one of the NASA choices, by more than 40,000 votes. Power to the people, now that's what I'm talking about. And talk about a PR plug for Comedy Central. Still this episode could be viewed as a cautionary tale. How many of us would be laughing if Rush Limbaugh had decided to mobilize his audience? And how embarrassing would it be for the new room at the International Space Station to be call "Pompous Blowhard"?

South Africa - Here's a follow up to a story that I posted yesterday. Organizers shelved a peace conference meant to show how sports can bring people and nations together because South Africa's government — fearing trouble with China — won't allow the Dalai Lama to attend. Serves them right for being so stupid. Unfortunately, the real loser here is world peace. Like it didn't have enough going against it. The conference had been in doubt since South Africa's government said the Dalai Lama was not welcome, prompting condemnation and a boycott by retired Cape Town Archbishop Desmond Tutu and others. The conference was intended to highlight ways soccer can promote peace, and all Nobel peace laureates had been invited, along with world statesmen and celebrities. This is just one guy's opinion, but I have to believe that China would have given South Africa a little slack on this one. As much as South Africa relies on them, I don't think that China is terribly interested in stopping a rather productive relationship with South Africa.

Czech Republic - The Czech Republic's centre-right minority government has lost a vote of no-confidence midway through the country's six-month EU presidency. Four rebel MPs voted with the opposition Social Democrats and Communists against Prime Minister Mirek Topolanek. Talk about harsh. Topolanek lost his post as Prime Minister and President all in one vote. Ouch. That's got to sting the old ego. The no-confidence vote in the lower house followed accusations that one of Topolanek's advisers had attempted to pressure its public TV channel into dropping a program critical of a former Social Democratic MP who had decided to back the coalition. All this over a TV show? My goodness. Not that this advise will do much good now, but next time...I'd let the program air. Seriously, who watches public television anyway.

Baseball - Japan won the World Baseball Classic, defeating South Korea 5-3 in 10 innings. And get this, Japan was the defending champion. In fact, Japan is the only nation to have ever won the World Baseball Classic--all two of them.

What Caught My Eye Today

South Africa - Here's a head scratcher... An eclectic mix of Nobel laureates, Hollywood celebrities and other dignitaries are gathering in South Africa to discuss issues ranging from combating racism to how sports can unite people and nations. South Africa barred the Dalai Lama from the peace conference in Johannesburg hoping to keep good relations with trading partner China but instead generating a storm of criticism. Riddle me this. You decide to hold a peace conference and invite all living Nobel Peace Prize winners, except for arguably the most well known of all. Why do you do that? Because the Dalai Lama isn't being allowed to attend, it is now being boycotted by fellow Nobel Peace prize winners retired Cape Town Archbishop Desmond Tutu and former president F.W. de Klerk as well as members of the Nobel Committee. South Africa is China's largest trading partner on a continent in which China is heavily and increasingly involved. If you think about it, do you really think China gives two shakes about this? I'm sure they would have preferred this conference to run its course, rather than get all this negative publicity. I'll bet you that had the Dalai Lama been allowed to attend this conference, the vast majority of us probably would never have known this conference was taking place at all.

Venezuela - It took just about two months for Hugo Chavez to criticize President Barack Obama. I wonder what took him so long. Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez called President Obama "ignorant," saying he has a lot to learn about Latin America. The socialist leader said he had been ready to name a new ambassador in Washington when Mr. Obama took office, but put that on hold after the new U.S. president accused him of "exporting terrorism" and being an obstacle to progress in the region. He may not know everything there is to know about Latin American, but it seems to me that Obama knows plenty enough about Venezuela. Chavez's relations with Washington grew increasingly strained under former President George W. Bush. The Venezuelan president expelled the U.S. ambassador and withdrew his envoy from Washington in September. Top diplomats have yet to be restored at either embassy. Chavez and Obama plan to attend a summit of leaders from across the Americas next month in Trinidad and Tobago. How wouldn't want to be a fly on the wall for that awkward social moment. I'm thinking 'rumble in the jungle" Caribbean style. And for my money, I'll go with Obama. Of course, it probably won't be much of a fight. I doubt that Chavez will have the first clue what Obama is talking about. What with Obama having a full grasp of the English language, he's likely to use sophisticated language (and by that I mean words with more than one syllable) that Chavez has never heard before.

Alaska - Alaska's Mount Redoubt volcano erupted five times overnight, sending an ash plume more than 9 miles into the air in the volcano's first emissions in nearly 20 years. The 10,200-foot Redoubt Volcano, roughly 100 miles southwest of Anchorage, last erupted during a four-month period from 1989-90. The volcano became restless earlier this year. The observatory had warned in late January that an eruption could occur at any time. Increased earthquake activity over the past 48 hours prompted scientists to raise the alert level for Mount Redoubt on Sunday. On Sunday morning, 40 to 50 earthquakes were being recorded every hour. I swear that I had nothing to do with the timing of this story (if I could predict stuff like this, I wouldn't be wasting that talent on a volcano). Still, I find it eerily coincidentally, that just a few short weeks ago, President Obama was being criticized for spending $140 million on volcano monitoring. Actually, the amount is only $15 million, and right about now, that is looking like money well spent.

Cycling - You all better sit down for this one. This is serious business. American cycling legend Lance Armstrong suffered a broken collarbone during an event in Spain, an injury that threatens to disrupt his bid to win a record eighth Tour de France title this summer. Not Lance! For the love of all that is holy, not Lance! Armstrong fell along with several other riders about 20 kilometers from the finish line of the first stage of the Tour of Castilla y Leon in central Spain. He declared his goal this year is to win an eighth Tour de France title in July, and had hoped to use the Castilla y Leon race as part of his preparations. This next bit is for you conspiracy theorists. Armstrong's return to the sport has sparked rumours of friction between him and teammate Alberto Contador of Spain over who will be chosen to lead the Astana's team's challenge in the Tour de France. The Tour of Castilla y Leon was the first time the two have raced alongside each other with Astana. Contador, the 2007 Tour de France champion, won the last two editions of the event. Any takers for the possibility that Contador arranged to have Armstrong taken down? I'm just putting it out there.

Basketball - The first two rounds of March Madness are in the books. I'm 38 for 48, with all of my Final Four Picks still alive (Louisville, Memphis, Pittsburgh and North Carolina). That's the good news. The bad news (at least from my perspective) is that the missus still has bragging rights (39 out of 48).

Baseball - Should anyone actually be paying attention, the United States lost to Japan in the semifinals of the World Baseball Classic. The final game pits Japan against South Korea. Just the matchup I was looking forward to. Still, the U.S. improved tremendously over its eighth place finish last time round.

What Caught My Eye Today

North Korea - North Korea has rejected shipments of U.S. food aid, despite its chronic food shortage. Surely, the North Korean has a rational explanation for turning away desperately needed aid. Pyongyang gave no reason for refusing the aid, though it has been increasingly bellicose since the U.S. warned that its planned rocket test would bring U.S. sanctions. Which basically means, the North Korean government is throwing a temper tantrum. North Korea routinely confiscates farmers' produce and gives it to the military, leaving markets empty and the people starving. I don't get these guys. I appreciate the need for maintaining one's sovereignty in the face of a perceived threat (namely, the United States), but to starve your own people and turn away aid (mostly from the United States), staggers the imagination.

Water - The planet faces a crippling shortage of fresh water according to U.N. officials at the World Water Forum. That sounds bad. The number of people living under "severe water stress" will reach 3.9 billion--half the world's population--by 2030. That sounds really bad. Almost 80% of diseases in developing countries are associated with a lack of clean water, and at least 5,000 children die every day of diarrhea alone. That's definitely bad. But wait there's more. As you might imagine, this international gathering was not without its naysayers. Protesters threw rocks at police, saying the forum promoted the privatization of water resources. Why throw rocks at the police? Seems to me the targets are the forum attendees. If you are going to be arrested (and one would assume these protesters were), you might as well go down swinging at the folks that pissing you off in the first place.

Armageddon - From time to time, a story gets published about the possible demise of the world or at least a significant portion of it. This is one of those stories. This time the subject is volcanoes. If you recall, back in February, President Barack Obama addressed a joint session of Congress. Louisiana Governor, Bobby Jindal gave the Republican response. In his remarks, Jindal chided the federal government for wasting $140 million monitoring volcanoes. Geologists have recorded an unusually high number of tremors in Yellowstone National Park--813 in 11 days. Much of the park sits on top of a giant caldera which is a collapsed volcano. Yellowstone's last major eruption was about 640,000 years ago. I guess we'll have to take that on faith seeing has the human race had not evolved yet. Scientists say the eruption blew a hole in the Earth's crust as big as Connecticut. That doesn't seem so bad; it's not like we're talking about Texas or Alaska. Such an event today could be a horror of unimaginable proportions. "Unimaginable"? I doubt that. I'm sure we can come up with some horrors. There would be hundreds of thousands of immediate casualties, and so much ash and dust would be thrown into the atmosphere that it would block out most of the sun, plunging the Earth into a continuous winter lasting for years. Crops would die and global starvation might follow. Some experts suggest that such an eruption could be a "species-ending event"--that species being humans. See, it wasn't that hard to imagine all those things. As for the $140 million, turns out Jindal had his facts wrong. The $140 million is the amount earmarked for all projects conducted by the U.S. Geological Survey. Of that, volcano monitoring accounts for about $15 million. Given that the U.S. currently has 169 active volcanoes, that doesn't seem like too much money to be spending to give us some warnings as to whether or not the end of the world is upon us.

Garbage - Finally some good news about the failing economy. Due to the declining economy, landfills are getting up to 30% less trash. People are buying fewer new consumer products, so there is less packaging to dispose of. Manufacturers are creating less waste, and a stagnant housing market means less construction debris. So why don't I feel any better?

March Madness - Midway through the second day of Round 1 action, I'm 24 out of 28. I finished Thursday's action 14 out of 16. Not bad, really. Of course, the missus got 15 out of 16, so there go my bragging rights. More importantly, my Final Four picks (Louisville, Memphis, Pittsburgh and North Carolina) all advanced.

Humor - Finally, something to make you laugh (or perhaps cry), courtesy of the missus. First, the laughter.

New Stock Market Terms

• CEO - Chief Embezzlement Officer
• CFO - Corporate Fraud Officer
• BULL MARKET - A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius
• BEAR MARKET - a 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.
• VALUE INVESTING - The art of buying low and selling lower.
• P/E RATIO - The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.
• BROKER - What my financial planner has made me.
• STANDARD & POOR - Your life in a nutshell.
• STOCK ANALYST - Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
• STOCK SPLIT - When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.
• MARKET CORRECTION - The day after you buy stocks.
• CASH FLOW - The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
• INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR - Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.
• PROFIT - an archaic word no longer in use.

Now the tears...

• If you had purchased $1000 of shares in Delta Airlines one year ago, you will have $49.00 today.
• If you had purchased $1000 of shares in AIG one year ago, you will have $33.00 today.
• If you had purchased $1000 of shares in Lehman Brothers one year ago, you will have $0.00 today.
• If you had purchased $1000 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the aluminum cans for recycling refund, you will have received $214.00.

What Caught My Eye Today

Dallas - The Dallas school system was rocked by allegations that staff members at an inner-city high school made students settle their differences by fighting bare-knuckle brawls inside a steel cage. Strangely, or better still, sadly, this doesn't surprise me all that much. This is Texas we're talking about, right? The report describes two instances of fighting in an equipment cage in a boys' locker room between 2003 and 2005. It was not clear from the report whether there were other fights. In it, a teacher was quoted as saying the principal told security personnel to put two fighting students "in the cage and let `em duke it out." Well, heck, if the students were fighting already, why not get some entertainment value out of it? Good grief.

New Jersey - The New Jersey State Board of Cosmetology and Hairstyling is moving toward a ban on genital waxing after two women reported being injured in their quest for a smooth bikini line. Waxing is serious business. Why do you think that only women do it? Men just don't have the pain thresholds that the ladies do. Technically, genital waxing has never been allowed — only the face, neck, abdomen, legs and arms are permitted — but because bare-it-all "Brazilians" weren't specifically banned, state regulators haven't enforced the law. Genital waxing can be dangerous in that the hot wax can irritate or tear delicate skin in the bikini area, resulting in infections, ingrown hairs and rashes, according to skin care experts. All joking aside--and believe me so many things come to mind--is this something that lawmakers should be wasting a lot of time on. I'm thinking anyone willing to have hot wax poured on their "hoo hoos" have some idea of the risks involved.

Tonga - I'll give you three guesses why this made the list...but you'll probably only need one. A major earthquake struck off the coast of Tonga. The USGS recorded the quake as 7.9 magnitude; the Pacific Tsunami Warning Center said it was 7.7. There were no immediate reports of damage or death. At a depth of just 6.2 miles (10 km), it is considered a shallow earthquake. Typically, the shallower the quake, the more destructive potential it carries. The tsunami center issued the regional tsunami warning for parts of the Pacific near the quake's epicenter but cancelled it shortly thereafter. The earthquake struck a few hours after a volcano erupted off Tongatapu, Tonga, about 200 km away. Earthquakes are probably the next curiosity that intrigues me. Don't ask me why. On this particular occasion, I could not resist a story about the Ring of Fire and the tie-in to the last item on today's post.

Internet - It all began 20 years ago with a frustrated 29-year-old programmer who had a passion for order. How sad. We should all be passionate about something, but order? Dude, you have got to get yourself a hobby. Tim Berners-Lee, now famous as the founder of the World Wide Web, was working as an obscure consultant at Cern, the European Laboratory for Particle Physics, in the suburbs of Geneva. Berners-Lee felt he was was stymied by the lack of institutional knowledge. So he proposed adding "hypertext" to the Cern network, basically embedding software in documents that would point to other related documents. And thus was born the Web, a global communications network that has shaken up industries, created enormous wealth and transformed the way ordinary people live their lives. Berners-Lee wrote his software in 1990 and put up the first Web site in 1991. And the world has not been the same since. One could argue whether or not this was a good or a bad development for civilization as we know it, but that's an entirely different philosophical discussion.

March Madness - Seems like a recurring theme. I start off well on Day 1 and proceed to have all my hopes and dreams shattered by the end of the weekend. Nevertheless, I must boast while I still can. Mid way through the first day of action, I'm seven out of eight. Yeah, baby.

American Idol - Just so you all know, I have completely forgotten about American Idol. I know its on. I just don't care about it anymore. Still I did watch country night, and there was this dude that did a bizarro take on Johnny Cash's "Ring of Fire." --and there is your tie-in--scared the piss out of guest mentor Randy Travis. And here's another interesting observation. There are 10 finalists left, only 3 of whom are female. Fascinating.

What Caught My Eye Today

Birth Rates - Frankly, I'm not sure if this counts as good news or bad news. All I can say for sure, is that it definitely is news. More babies were born in the United States in 2007 than any other year in the nation's history. The 4,317,119 births topped a record first set in 1957 at the height of the baby boom. While it shows the U.S. population is more than replacing itself, a healthy trend (sounds like goods news), the teen birth rate was up for a second year in a row (in this day and age, that's probably more on the bad news side of the equation). The new numbers suggest the second year of a baby boomlet. On average, a U.S. woman has 2.1 babies in her lifetime. That's the "magic number" required for a population to replace itself. Countries with much lower rates — such as Japan and Italy — face future labor shortages and eroding tax bases as they fail to reproduce enough to take care of their aging elders. For me, this is especially good news. At some point I'm going to retire, and it would be nice if there was someone around to chip into the entitlement fund that I'm planning to draw from in my golden years. You know what I'm talking about--Social Security.

Gambia - Authorities in Gambia have rounded up about 1,000 people and forced them to drink hallucinogens in a witch-hunting campaign that is terrorizing the tiny West African nation. Witch hunts? It's like we time warped back to the Dark Ages. Authorities began inviting "witch doctors," who combat witches, to come from nearby Guinea soon after the death earlier this year of the president's aunt. Since then, "witch doctors" — accompanied by police, soldiers, intelligence agents and the president's personal guards — have forcibly taken about 1,000 alleged witches from their villages and spirited them to secret locations. Gambian officials could not immediately be reached for comment and the government has issued no statements in reaction to the report. Naturally. What is the government supposed to say? "Yeah, we know he's lost his senses, but he's our president. What can we do?" And if that's not enough, apparently back in 2007, this psycho decided that he had discovered a cure for AIDS. Funny how I seem to have missed that medical breakthrough in headlines.

Afghanistan - President Hamid Karzai warned the international community against meddling in Afghanistan's politics as it prepares for a presidential election later this year, saying the country is not "a puppet state." I agree that Afghanistan should be left alone in deciding who its next president will be, but honestly, I don't see how Afghanistan is in any position to tell the rest of the world what it can and cannot do. NATO said the alliance needs four more battalions in addition to nearly 60,000 troops already in the country to provide security for the August election. See what I mean? Karzai said he appreciates the work that the U.S. and other members of the international community have done to fight terrorism and rebuild the country. But, without singling out any nation, he accused some of proposing to weaken the central government. Well now that's the problem right there. If you let too many people into the kitchen, one them (at least) is going to poke their hand into the old cookie jar. Good luck with that election, Mr. Karzai. It sure looks like you and your country are going to need it.

Czech Republic - The Czech prime minister canceled a vote to allow the United States to put a key part of its planned missile defense system in the Central European country. Dear God, why would they do that to us? Prime Minister Miroslav Topolanek said he called off the vote for fear his government would lose but added he could still put the two treaties up for a vote in parliament at a later date. I don't understand. Who cares what Parliament wants. This is our missile defense system, and we want to build it in their country. I fail to see the problem here.

What Caught My Eye Today

Pope - Pope Benedict XVI said condoms are not the answer to the AIDS epidemic in Africa and can make the problem worse, as he began a weeklong trip to the continent where some 22 million people are living with HIV. So what does the pontiff recommend? The pope said a responsible and moral attitude toward sex would help fight the disease. And by this, he means abstinence, which we all know is so going to happen. This next bit rather amuses me. Benedict also said the Roman Catholic Church was at the forefront of the battle against AIDS. The Catholic Church rejects the use of condoms as part of its overall teaching against artificial contraception. Senior Vatican officials have advocated fidelity in marriage and abstinence from premarital sex as key weapons in the fight against AIDS. That's right everybody. Stop having sex and the AIDS epidemic will go away. As for those of you worried that the human race might die out if we stop procreating, not to worry. See, if you are responsible and moral, you can have sex without fear of catching AIDS. As for another angle on this story...Three-quarters of all AIDS deaths worldwide in 2007 were in sub-Saharan Africa, where some 22 million people are infected with HIV — accounting for two-thirds of the world's infections. Africa is the fastest-growing region for the Catholic Church, though it competes with Islam and evangelical churches. This is rather fortuitous for the Church. With all those converts dying of AIDS, the Church will need to relying on volume to fill those Sunday services.

Former President Bush - More than 100 protesters chanted "war criminal" and flung shoes in Calgary, angry that former U.S. President George W. Bush was in the Canadian city to give his first speech since leaving the White House. Not exactly the reception you'd hope for a former head of state, especially the most recent one from the United States. And this shoe thing. What up with that, Canada? Surely you could have come up with something a bit more original than that. Iraq has been there and done that months ago. The reaction was in stark contrast to President Barack Obama's first official visit to Canada last month, when he was fawned on by citizens and politicians alike. Got to be tough transitioning from the most powerful dude on the planet, to private citizen. Still, what sort of reaction was Bush expecting? Media were barred from covering the invitation-only event, during which Bush had been expected to reflect on his eight years as president. According to sources who attended, he conceded that his administration spent its final days "bailing water" to keep the U.S. economy afloat. Here's an unexpected revelation... Although he was not Bush's first choice as president, Barack Obama has his full support. What's this? Bush didn't vote for Obama last November. Excuse me while I attempt to pick my jaw up off the floor.

Corporate Bonuses - You would think that corporations receiving taxpayer bailouts would think twice about giving bonuses to the morons responsible for the corporations needing to be bailed out. You would think that, wouldn't you? Livid Democrats confronted beleaguered insurance giant AIG with an ultimatum: Give back $165 million in post-bailout bonuses or watch Congress tax it away with emergency legislation. 73 company employees received bonus checks of $1 million or more last week. This at a company that was failing so spectacularly that the government felt the need to prop it up with a $170 billion bailout. Staggers the imagination, don't it? Two bills in the House aimed to impose a 100 percent tax on the bonuses. I think the lesson here is if you do something beyond the realm of absurdity, be prepared to incur the wrath of the U.S. government. Makes sense if you think about it. I mean who is more well-versed in the absurd than the federal government?

Russia - President Dmitry Medvedev cited NATO expansion, international terrorism and regional conflicts as reasons why upgrading Russia's nuclear forces was the top priority in an ambitious military modernization plan that he pledged to pursue despite the worst economic crisis in a decade. Not the best timing in the world, to be certain; however, when is it ever a good time to boost one's nuclear arsenal? And I've said this before, but it warrants repeating; you cannot exactly fault Russia for taking these actions Moscow has fiercely opposed plans to put Ukraine and Georgia on track to NATO membership. Russia is also deeply wary of any U.S. presence in oil- and gas-rich Central Asia, which Moscow considers its historic sphere of influence. What would we do, if Russia set up house in Mexico?

1.5 Trillion - I wasn't planning on doing another numbers thing so soon, but this coincidence was too much for me to pass up. We'll start with a postscript to the story above. Russian military officials say about 25% of the 1.5 trillion rubles ($43 billion) budgeted for weapons purchases this year will be spent on upgrading the aging, Soviet-era nuclear force. For this next part, bear this in mind--one U.S. dollar will get you 34.46 Russian rubles. U.S. health experts predict that guaranteeing health insurance for all Americans may cost about $1.5 trillion over the next decade. That's 51.7 trillion rubles for those of you keeping track. But getting back to this healthcare thing, this next bit doesn't make much sense to me. The U.S. spends $2.4 trillion a year on health care, more than any other advanced country. Yeah, that's 82.7 trillion rubles, but that's not the point. $1.5 trillion over 10 years seems like a bargain compared to $2.4 trillion for a single year. I'm not sure what I'm missing here.

What Caught My Eye Today

Canada - The war in Afghanistan has overstretched Canada's armed forces, and according to Canada's top army official, will need a yearlong rest to recover. That should be fine. After all world peace seems to be on the rise. What with the global economy being in the toilet, no one can afford to fight wars anymore. He went on to say ongoing personnel shortages meant that new recruits could not be properly trained and vital equipment could not be maintained. Canada currently has 2,800 troops in Afghanistan compared with the U.S.'s 30,000. To put this into perspective, The Canadian army has about 35,000 total troops compared with the U.S. army which has 1,088,000 troops.

Bolivia - Bolivian President Evo Morales kicked another U.S. diplomat out of the country accusing the man of conspiring with opposition groups. Morales claimed the diplomat had been helping a Bolivian policeman accused of spying on the state oil company for the CIA. Here's the shocking reaction from the U.S. State Department officials denied the allegations as well as the notion that the CIA had infiltrated the state oil company. Just out of curiosity, when was the last time we did admit to spying on another country. Morales booted out the U.S. ambassador for similar reasons last September and expelled all U.S. Drug Enforcement Agency officials in November. I get the distinct impression that this guy doesn't like us very much. And another question. With the U.S. Ambassador, the DEA and most of the diplomatic corps gone, how many Americans are still left to be accused of spying?

Brazil - The Brazilian government took the unusual step of criticizing the Catholic Church after the church opposed an abortion for a 9-year-old raped by her stepfather. Doctors who performed the abortion said the girl could have died if she had brought the twin fetuses to full term. Brazilian archbishops responded by excommunicating the girl's mother, the doctors, and others involved in facilitating the abortion. Why stop there? I say we excommunicate the whole country. And did you notice that somewhere in all this fray, the church had nothing to say about the jerk stepfather who raped this poor kid. I respect the tenets of the Catholic church; I may not agree with them, but I respect them. What gets me is how the Church can say that it respects the sanctity of life, but thinks nothing of endangering the life of a 9-year-old girl in the name of God. Give me a break. I never met the dude, but I'm pretty sure He would have cut a little slack to a kid that got raped by her stepfather and had the misfortune of becoming pregnant...with twins.

120 - You know me and my numbers. According to the The Economist, the average Facebook user has 120 friends in his or her network. It turns out that figure roughly corresponds to the "Dunbar number," a hypothetical limit on the human brain's capacity for social networks, which peaks at around 148 people. Of that 120 friends, the average Facebook man interacts with only 7 of his friends on a deeper basis, by responding to postings and leaving messages of his own. The average Facebook woman is slightly more social--interacting with an average of 10 friends. In my defense, I only have about 30 friends on Facebook, so I'm thinking my average interaction with friends of just under 25% is looking pretty good.Curiously, 120 appears in another venue. The average American home receives 119 television channels, yet we tend to watch only 16 of them. And those 16 aren't anything to write home about either.

Basketball - Memo to the boss man. Just so you know, I'll be out sick this coming Thursday and Friday as well as next Thursday and Friday. I think its the flu. The fact that March Madness starts this Thursday is purely coincidental.

Golf - No longer the best player without a World Golf Championship, Phil Mickelson won a spirited duel at Doral to win the CA Championship and put himself in position to reach No. 1 in the world. Mickelson won for the second time in four weeks and moved to No. 2 in the world ranking, as close to Tiger Woods as he has ever been. Depending on how Woods fares at Bay Hill, Mickelson might have a chance to go to No. 1 when he plays again. Woods was pretty much out of contention after the first two rounds, 10 strokes behind Mickelson going into Saturday. But Tiger did outplay Phil on both Saturday and Sunday (68 to 69 both days). And considering this was Woods' first stroke play event after a 9 month layoff, a 9th place finish isn't half bad. Still, kudos to Mickelson. Dude has a track record for imploding on Sundays. It's nice to see the lad close the deal.

What Caught My Eye Today

Syria - Syria opened it first stock exchange, its most dramatic step yet toward loosening the state-controlled economy. Props on the timing there, guys. Syria's economy has been struggling because of oil prices, U.S. sanctions, and the global credit crunch. Now before you rush out and call your broker to diverse your holdings into this new stock exchange, keep this in mind. The Damascus Securities Exchange has just 6 listings--four banks, and advertising firm, and a transportation company--and will be open only on Mondays and Thursdays. So what? Get CNBC's Jim Cramer on the phone so he can tell me which stock to invest in; unless, of course, Jon Stewart happens to be available. (If you've been following the headlines, then you'll get this reference and hopefully find it somewhat amusing, otherwise, just move on to the next story.)

Economy - The value of the world's financial assets has fallen by $50 trillion since the economic crisis began about a year ago. That's equivalent to the world's total annual economic output. Hmm. I'm not sure, but stuff like this leads me to believe the global economy may be in trouble.

Senior Citizens - Senior citizens are objecting to Iowa's decision to change the Department of Elder Affairs to the Department of Aging Want to hazard a guess as to why? The renamed agency's acronym, DOA, is sometimes used to mean "Dead on Arrival". A government official said, "You can't have an acronym like this when you're referring to elderly people." Do you think? The department's communications director promised the new name would be abbreviated to "DA" rather than "DOA". Sure, that'll work. So like, why did they have to change the name in the first place. What's wrong with "Elder Affairs"?

Porn - Now, now. Before you get your knickers in a bunch, this next story has a scientific angle to it. Nothing smutty going on here. States with the highest concentration of politically conservative and traditionally religious people have the most interest in online pornography, Who else besides me enjoys the irony here? Of the top 10 porn-buying states, eight voted Republican in the last presidential election. In states were laws have been passed banning gay marriage, subscription rates to porn sites are 11% higher than states without such laws on the books. Utah boasts the highest porn-buying rate in the entire nation. In fairness to my Republican friends, Democrats were busy having sex with each other celebrating Obama's win, so they didn't have as much time to surf the net for porn.

Money - If counted out in $1000 bills, a million dollars would be a stack 4 inches high. To reach a billion dollars, that same stack of thousand dollar bills would have to be 358 feet tall. I think there is a rounding error going on here; when I did the math (4 inches times 1000--as in a thousand million--divided by 12--inches in a foot) I only came up with 333 feet, but I digress. To reach a trillion dollars the stack would stand almost 68 miles high. So there you have it.

Sleep - Americans are getting an average of 6.7 hours of sleep on weekdays, down from 7 hours in 2001. Yes, I'm sure that would explain why everyone is so cranky these days.

What Caught My Eye Today

Switzerland - As if we needed another sign that the global economy sucks. Switzerland's days as a safe haven for the world's tax evaders are numbered. When will the madness stop? Under pressure from the United States and other troubled economies, the Swiss government announced that it will cooperate in international tax investigations, breaking with a long-standing tradition of protecting wealthy foreigners accused of hiding billions of dollars. Swiss banks hold an estimated $2 trillion of foreign money, and financial services add about 12 percent of GDP to the national economy. $2 trillion? That's a whole lot of money. Though I have to believe that some of it is clean. Austria and Luxembourg said that they would offer more help on tax investigations. Over the past month, leaders have made similar promises in Singapore, Liechtenstein, Bermuda, the British islands of Jersey and Guernsey, and tiny Andorra on the border between France and Spain. Thank goodness, we still have the Cayman Islands.

World Bank - I love this headline--"World Bank urges divided G20 to fix banks". Gee whiz, what a great idea. Thanks for tip, guys. More spending will give only a brief "sugar high" if G20 nations fail to clean up their banks, the World Bank said as economic powers struggled to agree a response to the worst downturn in decades. Remember the good old days when the United States and Europe used to cooperate on all sorts of stuff. Then the Soviet Union imploded, the Cold War ended, and all hell broke loose. Pity. G20 leaders are expected to back a call to as much as double the money the International Monetary Fund has at its disposal to help emerging economies hit by a plunge in global demand for exports and a severing of credit lines. The world economy shrank for the first time since 1945 in the last quarter of 2008, throwing millions of people out of work, and the IMF says 2009 will bring the first annual global contraction for more than 60 years. While financial markets have lately taken some comfort from signs that large U.S. banks may survive without full government takeovers, a solution to the core problem of what to do with a mountain of troubled banking assets is proving elusive. Financial markets are awaiting detailed U.S. plans on that. Good plan. If I recall correctly, it was the collapse of the U.S. financial market that started all this, much to the chagrin of the rest of the world. So yes, by all means, let's have the dudes who created this mess devise a way out of it. Looks like I'm going to have to buy myself a bigger mattress (You know for my new retirement strategy...hiding money under the mattress...tell me you got that.).

China - China's premier didn't say it in so many words, but the implied warning to Washington was blunt: Don't devalue the dollar through reckless spending. Now what could possibly have caused him to say something like that? China is Washington's biggest foreign creditor, with an estimated $1 trillion in U.S. government debt. A weaker dollar would erode the value of those assets. Well, there is that. Analysts estimate China keeps nearly half of its $2 trillion in foreign currency reserves in U.S. Treasuries and notes issued by other government-affiliated agencies. The Chinese government fears that higher U.S. budget deficits from Washington's $787 billion stimulus package could drive down the dollar and the value of China's Treasury notes. You know what they should have done instead of buying all those U.S. Treasury notes? That's right. They should have bought themselves a whole heap load of mattresses.

Job Security - Lawmakers are discussing a plan to link executive pay to the long-term performance of companies. They say change is needed but the intent isn't to micromanage or interfere with the private sector. Can you say -- oxymoron. Call me crazy, but this seems like a rather simple problem. I go to work, I do a good job, I get paid -- A + B = C. If I don't work or if I do a lousy job, I don't get paid (that sort of goes along with the getting fired bit). I'm going to go out on a limb here and suggest a radical idea. Manage executive compensation by applying the same principles that apply to us 'rank and file' pee-ons and poof--problem solved.

Guantanamo Bay - The Obama administration stopped calling Guantanamo inmates "enemy combatants" and incorporated international law as its basis for holding the prisoners while it works to close the facility. Rumor has it that we're going to now refer to them as "bad guys". The term "enemy combatant" was adopted by the Bush administration after the September 11 attacks in 2001 to refer to prisoners held under military orders he issued to launch the war on terrorism. Yes, apparently the term "enemy combatant" wasn't covered by the Geneva Convention or any other rules of human decency. The legal structure for holding the Guantanamo prisoners will now be based on laws passed by Congress and, by extension, international law including the Geneva conventions. Well now, that's just crazy. Enemy combatants--I mean, bad guys--don't deserve any legal protection. What type of sick joke is this? Where do these guys think they are? Oh...right. I get it. We're America, and this sort of thing is important to us. I forgot.

What Caught My Eye Today

Budget - President Barack Obama defended Congress' pet projects as he signed an "imperfect" $410 billion measure with thousands of examples. Let's not forget that President Obama was Senator Obama just a few short months ago. But he said the spending does need tighter restraint and listed guidelines to do it. Obama, accused of hypocrisy by Republicans for embracing billions of dollars of earmarks in the legislation, said they can be useful and noted that he has promised to curb, not eliminate them. Useful, huh? Yeah I can see how they could be useful for getting yourself re-election to another term. Funny how once you don't have to worry about winning your state or congressional district, how easy it is to say you want to eliminate all those earmarks. Oh, and another thing. Other than John McCain, Republicans are every bit as guilty as Democrats in cramming those earmarks into the budget. Hypocrisy? Give me a break.

Women's Liberation - I swear on a stack of bibles that I am not making up this next item. As International Women’s Day was celebrated this past Sunday, the Vatican had a novel message for the women of the world: give thanks for the washing machine. This humble domestic appliance had done more for the women’s liberation movement than the contraceptive pill or working outside the home, said the official Vatican newspaper. The justification for this is even better. While early models were expensive and unreliable, technology had improved to the point that there is now "the image of the super woman, smiling, made-up and radiant among the appliances of her house." Oh, yeah. That totally is my image of a super woman. "Pat yourself on the back, honey. You earned it. Look at how clean those linens are." Of course I'll be saying that while attempt to dodge from whatever she happens to be throw at my head for say something so stupid.

France - France's conservative government wants to wean the country's youth off the bottle with a ban on under-18 drinking. Why, so they can become obnoxious sooner? In a double-whammy, legislators voted to ban the sale of tobacco for those under 18, the latest step in a progressive crackdown on smoking. The new measures come three days after Assembly lawmakers voted to ban all-you-can-drink events in open bars popular with young people. Just so you know, the French government hasn't completely lots its collective grip on reality; the law exempts wine tastings so important to the wine industry. I wonder how that wine will taste coming out of a beer bong?

Alaska - Oh, say it ain't so, Bristol. Levi Johnston and Bristol Palin, the teenage daughter of Alaska Governor Sarah Palin, have broken off their engagement, about 2 1/2 months after the couple had a baby. Johnston said he and Bristol Palin mutually decided "a while ago" to end their relationship. He also said some details of the breakup, rumors of which had been swirling on the Internet, were inaccurate. You mean like the one where the Governor almost killed him for knocking up her daughter while she was trying run for Vice President? Bristol Palin said in a statement issued through a spokeswoman for her mother's political action committee that she was "devastated." "Unfortunately, my family has seen many people say and do many things to `cash in' on the Palin name," she said. "Sometimes that greed clouds good judgment and the truth." I have no doubt that this is a trying time for the young lass, the sentiment of the moment seems somewhat diminished by the fact that her heartache was broadcast through her mother's political action committee. Kind of cheezy if you ask me.

Baseball - While no one in the States pays too much attention to the World Baseball Classic -- like me, for instance -- this is a pretty big deal around the rest of the world. Last night, there was an upset of epic proportions. The Netherlands caught the Dominican Republic—and the rest of the baseball world—by total surprise. Twice. The Netherlands rallied for a 2-1 victory over the heavily favored Dominicans, earning an astonishing spot in the second round and eliminating the Dominican Republic from the tournament. It was the second time in four days that a Netherlands squad made up of little-known players upset the Dominican Republic, considered one of the favorites coming into the 16-team tournament thanks to a roster filled with major league All-Stars. To put this into context, the Netherlands beating the Dominican Republic in baseball, would be like the United States soccer team beating any country in Europe.

What Caught My Eye Today

Fred's Note: So much depressing economic news so little time. Here's a sampling of just how bad things have gotten and the extremes so folks have resorted to in order to make ends meet.

Autos - The number of vehicle repossession in the United States jumped 12% in the last year to 1.67 million. Hmm. I thought repossessions were focused primarily on family homes. Of course, I imagine for some of those 1.67 million, that Buick was the family home. Still if you are looking for work, you could always become a repo man.

Home Prices - The median price of homes sold in Detroit this past December was $7,500. You still couldn't get me to move there.

Higher Education - Endowments at U.S. colleges and universities fell 23% last year. Harvard's endowment alone fell by $11 billion or 30%. I'm sorry, but it's a little hard for me to feel too sympathetic toward these guys. At least they had $11 billion to lose. And...oh by the way, they still have almost $37 billion left to tide them over.

Porn - Speaking of growth industries... With the adult entertainment business being one of the few bright spots in the economy, several states and municipalities have been moving to raise taxes on dirty magazines, sex toys, and strip clubs. In Texas, a proposed levy on strip joints was dubbed the "pole tax." Ha ha. Very funny. Seriously, what's a guy (or gal) supposed to do for a little fun these days? This just ain't right. Not that I personally indulge in such thing myself. I'm just sticking up for those who do. I'd never...you know...watch or partake in any such...you know.

Air Travel - Irish discount air carrier Ryanair is considering charging passengers to use the restrooms aboard its planes. The CEO was quoted as saying, "One thing we've looked at is the possibility of maybe putting a coin slot on the toilet door." Or maybe you could just get rid of the toilets altogether and put in more seats, you cheap bastards!

CIA - Underscoring the official anxiety over the risks that the economic downturn poses to international stability, the White House now receives a daily CIA briefing on the global economic crisis, in addition to briefings on terrorism and other national-security issues. I hate to sound like a conspiracy theorist here, but how do we know that the CIA didn't start this in the first place? It's possible you know. For my nickel, I'll stick with more reliable sources like CNBC.

Finally, one last item not related to the economy; though sadly, I not sure it's reason to celebrate either.

New Orleans - Three and a half years after Hurricane Katrina, the National Guard has pulled the last of its troops out of New Orleans. A restaurant owner said, "A lot more of us will be packing our own pieces now to make sure we're protected."

And on that note, I'm going to go find myself a nice, stiff drink...or maybe a cliff to jump off of.

What Caught My Eye Today

Asteroids - With all the doom and gloom surrounding the global economy, I found this story may help to put things into proper perspective. An asteroid about the size of one that blasted Siberia a century ago just buzzed the Earth. The asteroid named 2009 DD45 was about 48,800 miles from Earth when it zipped past early Monday. The space rock measured between 69 feet and 154 feet in diameter, about the same size as the asteroid that exploded over Siberia in 1908 and leveled more than 800 square miles of forest. So sure your 40l(k) may have vaporized over the past several months (I know mine has), but look on the bright side...at least you haven't.

Great Britain - British Prime Minister Gordon Brown urged the United States to harness historic global goodwill to pull the world out of its economic slump and lead the charge against climate change. I assume by the term 'historic', the good Prime Minister was referring to the historically low global goodwill toward the United States. President Barack Obama's historic election has given "the whole world renewed hope in itself," he said, adding that "now more than ever the rest of the world wants to work with you" including "your friend Europe." Oh right, that goodwill. I forgot, people outside the United States still think of Obama as a rock star. Brown pushed lawmakers to embrace his "global New Deal" plan for overhauling the rules of international finance and share the wealth of a world economy he promised would double over the next 20 years. Lauding the United States as "the indispensable nation," Brown said US leadership in fighting climate change was critical to forging "a historic agreement" at December UN talks in Denmark's capital Copenhagen. Whoa, boyfriend. Don't you think you are laying it on just a tad thick? I know we're allies and all, but really. Even our own President, Mr. "Yes We Can" himself, is talking about the tough times ahead. I'm all for hope, but you have to account for a little thing called reality in all that optimism. That being said, you can visit the U.S. anytime you like as far as I am concerned. There aren't too many folks out there that have nice things to say about us.

Sudan - The International Criminal Court issued an arrest warrant for Sudanese President Omar al-Bashir on charges of war crimes and crimes against humanity in Darfur. He is the first sitting head of state the court has ordered arrested. Bravo, Mr. President. Bravo. You must have really distinguished yourself to claim this distinction. Al-Bashir's government denounced the warrant as part of a Western conspiracy aimed at destabilizing the vast oil-rich nation south of Egypt. The U.N. said Sudan had ordered the expulsion of six to 10 humanitarian groups from Darfur including Oxfam, Solidarities and Mercy Corps, and seized assets. Yeah, teach those oppressive Western governments a lesson. Throw out all those aid workers trying to feed your people. Al-Bashir denies the war crimes accusations and refuses to deal with the court. Sudan does not recognize its jurisdiction and refuses to arrest suspects and there is currently no international mechanism to arrest al-Bashir. Guess what other country doesn't recognize the ICC either? I'll give you a hint. The first initial is "U", the second is "S", and the third is "A".

Lent - In case you feel like you haven't give up enough already, Lent started last week and the Catholic Church has a great suggestion for those of you who feel that you still have too much excess in your lives. Roman Catholic bishops in Italy are urging the faithful to go on a high-tech fast for Lent, switching off modern appliances from cars to iPods and abstaining from surfing the Web or text messaging until Easter. The suggestion goes far beyond no-meat Fridays, giving a modern twist to traditional forms of abstinence in the five-week period Christians set aside for fasting and prayer ahead of Easter. You know, my initial reaction was that this was kind of a dumb suggestion, but then I thought about it. In the U.S. alone. more than 75 billion text messages are sent each month. Some of those were from my boss asking me to do more work. A 40 day break from that...yeah, that works for me.

What Caught My Eye Today

Stock Market - Time to party likes its 1999...or maybe 1997. The Dow Jones industrial average plummeted below 7,000 and kept driving lower all day, finishing at 6,763 — a loss of nearly 300 points. Mind you, if you don't like bad news, I'd skip forward to the next time, because it only gets worse from here. It took only 14 trading sessions for the Dow to fall from above 8,000 to below 7,000. For the year, the Dow has lost 23% of its value. Both the Dow and the S&P have lost more than half their value since the market peaked in October 2007. In that time, about $11 trillion in wealth has vanished, according to the Dow Jones Wilshire 5000 index, which tracks nearly all stocks traded in America. Okay, let's look on the bright side. There must be one around here someplace. Oh, dear God, there isn't one! We're all gonna die!...Whew, I needed to get that out of my system. So what's next?

Cuba - So much for brotherly love. President Raul Castro abruptly ousted some of Cuba's most powerful officials, remaking the government in the biggest shakeup since he took over from his ailing brother Fidel Castro a year ago. The changes replaced some key Fidel loyalists. Several ministries were consolidated in response to President Raul Castro's calls for a "more compact and functional structure" for the often unwieldy communist bureaucracy that oversees nearly all public activity on the island. Plus, it's a lot harder to be an egomaniacal dictator when you have all those annoying bureaucrats getting in your way. The most sweeping leadership shakeup in years was dropped on Cubans almost as an afterthought — at the end of the midday news, following the weather and sports. Well, of course they buried the story. I don't want to beat a dead horse here, but it's a lot harder to seize power when you are accountable to the people you are supposed to be governing. Best to consolidate your power, and then blindside them when there is nothing they can do to stop you. Duh.

Obama Cabinet - This would be funny, if it wasn't so embarrassing. Another Obama administration nominee has tax troubles. This time, it's Ron Kirk, the president's choice to be U.S. trade representative. Kirk owes an estimated $10,000 in back taxes from earlier in the decade and has agreed to pay them. Wow, that's awfully big of Kirk to go out on a limb and offer to pay taxes he should have paid years ago. The former Dallas mayor is the fourth nominee by President Barack Obama to run into tax problems. A third of the Senate voted against Tim Geithner's confirmation as treasury secretary after it was disclosed that he had to pay more than $34,000 in back taxes and interest on income he made while working for the International Monetary Fund. Former Senate Majority Leader Tom Daschle then withdrew as a nominee to become Health and Human Services after it was disclosed that he failed to pay $128,000 in taxes. Nancy Killefer, Obama's pick for chief performance officer, also bowed out amid tax problems. Seriously, how hard is it for these folks to pay their taxes? What, you can't spring for the $50 it takes to buy a copy of TurboTax?

Louisiana - I didn't report on President Obama's address to Congress last week, pretty much because he didn't really have anything new to say, at least in my opinion. Anyway, as is tradition, the opposition party--in this case, the Republican party--gets some airtime to respond to the President's statements. In this case, that honor was bestowed upon Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal. At the risk of stating the obvious, things didn't go so well for the lad. Widely panned for his national TV address, Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal offered his first defense of the speech, saying he sticks by the message, while acknowledging shortcomings in his delivery. The address has been the target of political commentators, comics and bloggers who called it amateurish and out of step with the American public. Jindal defended his positions despite criticism from political commentators — both Democratic and Republican — that the speech was too simplistic and offered few new ideas for battling the country's economic woes. The governor said it was difficult to follow Obama, known for his impressive oratory, and said he tried to slow his pace because of past complaints that Jindal's rapid-fire speaking style is tough to follow. Let me see if I've got this straight. Dude is panned by pretty much everybody, and his main line of defense is that it is difficult to follow the likes of Obama. I'm thinking he needs to come up with something a bit more substantive than this. Still, in Jindal's defense, this was his first time on a national stage. Surely, he learned something from this experience. Despite the repeated criticism over the last week, the Louisiana governor refused any suggestion he might hire a speechwriter. Or maybe not.

Vatican - Another week, another story out of the Vatican. This time, though, I think they got it right. Pope Benedict XVI formally rescinded the promotion of an ultraconservative priest who came under fire for suggesting that God punished New Orleans with Hurricane Katrina. The Austrian bishop had questioned whether the "noticeable" increase of natural disasters such as Hurricane Katrina - which devastated New Orleans in 2005 - was a result of pollution caused by humans or the result of "spiritual pollution." Wow. This guy must have a set of brass ones to say something like that out loud. He also has characterized "Harry Potter" novels as satanic. Sure he did. If you're going to diss an entire city and hundreds of thousands of people who had their lives turned upside down, why not talk smack about a make believe wizard while you're at it. The bishop's promotion was one of two recent controversial decisions by the Vatican that led to unusually open criticism of Vatican policy. The other involved lifting the excommunication of a bishop who had said that no Jews were gassed during the Holocaust. Lifting the excommunication of that bishop and three fellow members of the traditionalist Society of St. Pius X had been part of the pope's effort to reach out to ultraconservatives. And obviously part of the pope's parallel effort to offend everyone else.

What Caught My Eye Today

Jamaica - Jamaica's Broadcasting Commission banned all explicit references to sex and violence in songs and videos aired on radio or television. No sex or violence--what does that leave remaining on the playlist? I suspect not much. The government previously banned "dancehall" music and videos taht show "daggering," a grinding, pelvic-thrusting dance that is popular with young Jamaicans (and horny teenagers in every other country on the planet). The edict effectively bans American hip hop and Trinidadian soca music. This is Jamaica we're talking about, right? Whatever happened to the glory days of rastas and reefer madness? This is a sad day, my friends. A sad, sad day, indeed.

Good Samaritanism - This next item just ain't right. A Colorado man who was run over while helping two elderly women cross a road has been ticketed for jaywalking. The man was hit by a truck when he ran to assist the two women shuffling across a busy intersection. He is now in intensive care with internal injuries--and a $22 jaywalking ticket. A state trooper commented, "We understand [he] was doing something with great intentions, but it was still dangerous for anyone to be in the road." So I guess the lesson learned here is next time you see a little old lady wandering across a busy intersection, let the old bag fend for herself. You need to obey the law.

Education - I'm all for prompting self-esteem among our nation's youth, but this is ridiculous. A middle school in San Diego has enrolled 34 native Spanish speakers in the school's Advanced Placement Spanish class. Come again? The students were raised speaking Spanish, but the school principal says that the high marks the students achieve in the AP class help them feel good about themselves. That's right. Nothing like a bogus freebie to instill a sound work ethic. I can see it now--some student bitching about a lousy grade in Math..."But, teach. It's not my fault I got a D on the last test. I don't speak Math."

Numismatics -- What, you are probably asking yourself are numismatics? This story should give you a clue. Otherwise, you'll just have to look it up. The U.S. Mint launched a quarter featuring Duke Ellington, making him the first African American to appear solo on a circulating U.S. coin. The coin is the latest addition to the popular 50 State Quarter series. Representing the District of Columbia, it depicts Ellington at his piano. D.C. is getting a lot of press these days. Senator Joe Lieberman has introduced a bill to give the District of Columbia a seat in the House of Representatives (along with provisions to give another seat to Utah) and now they're getting a quarter. Not bad for a jurisdiction that the U.S. Constitution specifically says is not a state. So did you figure it out yet? Numismatics is the study or collection of currency.