What Caught My Eye Today

Law Enforcement - Here's a question for you. What would be the appropriate punishment for causing a worldwide disruption in air travel in order to kiss your girlfriend one last time before she boards a plane. Apparently, $500. A lovesick student, who dodged airport security to kiss his girlfriend goodbye has apologised for causing more than 100 flight delays, 27 cancellations and stranding 16,000 passengers. The student ducked under a rope barrier at Newark Airport in New Jersey for a final kiss with his girlfriend before she left for California and inadvertently caused a security breach which closed the terminal for six hours. He admitted that he purposefully dodged security, spotting an official leave his post, and took the moment to catch-up with his girlfriend and walk her to her gate. The student then calmly left the airport unaware of the mayhem that ensued inside. The entire terminal was evacuated and closed while officials investigated the breach and passengers were only allowed back in after being re-screened by security. The student avoided jail and was instead ordered to pay a $500 fine, plus additional court costs, and perform 100 hours of community service. Setting aside the fact that this moron is too stupid to live, I might recommend some subtle changes in appearance. If I was one of those 16,000 stranded passengers, I'd be looking for more than a few hours of community service. I'd want blood, but then again, I've been told I have anger management issues.

Education - Math and English instruction in the United States moved a step closer to uniform — and more rigorous — standards. Let me guess. Students are actually going to have to demonstrate that they can read, write and add two numbers without the use of a calculator before they are given college diplomas. The effort is expected to lead to standardization of textbooks and testing and make learning easier for students who move from state to state. The effort is endorsed by 48 states, two territories and the District of Columbia and the new standards are intended to raise expectations of student achievement in some states and be in line with the educational expectations of top-performing states and countries. There are 50 states, aren't there? Texas and Alaska are the only states not participating in the national standards effort. Texas' commissioner of education said "Texas has chosen to preserve its sovereign authority to determine what is appropriate for Texas children to learn in its public schools." Maybe it's just me, but would anyone really notice (or care) if Texas seceded from the U.S.? As for Alaska--those kids are doing just fine, if you ask me. In a recent survey, 9 out of 10 children correctly identified Russia from their houses (for those unfamiliar with Sarah Palin, the humor here is probably not terribly evident).

Egypt - Egyptian clerics are cracking down on the sinful uses of modern technology. Egypt's highest cleric issued a fatwa banning the used of the Muslim payer call or any verse from the Quran as a cell phone ring tone. This is what they're worried about? I was totally thinking something else, along the lines of adult entertainment, if you know what I mean. Another cleric call for a ban on Facebook, saying the social-networking site was breaking up marriages by encouraging people to reconnect with former flames. The cleric was responding to reports of a study that found one in five Egyptian divorces is the result of Facebook. Seems a bit draconian to me, especially considering this... The study turned out to be an Internet hoax. So to sum up: Religious ring tones - bad; Facebook - bad; Internet Porn - still okay.

Potpourri - More fascinating nuggets of information of a statistical nature.

• Personal Income - The income of the 400 richest Americans rose an average of 31% in 2007, before the recession hit. Because of tax cuts on wages and capital gains, these individuals paid an effective tax rate of 16.6% on their average income of $344.8 million. I chalk up my bitterness to the fact that as one of the hundreds of millions of 401st richest Americans, I getting totally screwed on my taxes.
• France - The French now spend an average of 31 minutes eating lunch, down from an hour and 38 minutes in 1975. I'm guessing, the spend that other hour bitching about the fact that their lunch time has been cut back so much.
• Olympics - Olympic organizers in Vancouver stocked its two Olympic Villages with 100,000 condoms--14 condoms for each of the 7,000 athletes, coaches, trainers and officials housed there. At the Sydney Games in 2000, officials handed out 70,000 condoms and had to order 20,000 more. I was under the impression that Disneyland was the happiest place on Earth. Clearly, I was way mistaken on that one.

What Caught My Eye Today

Venezuela - A Spanish judge has accused Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez of aiding in a plot to assassinate Colombian President Alvar Uribe and other Colombian officials when they traveled to Spain in 2003. The allegations are based on information obtained from the laptop computer of a FARC commander killed by Colombian armed forces in 2008, detailing links between the Colombian guerrilla group and the Venezuelan government. Venezuela's Foreign Ministry called the charges "biased and unfounded" and alleged that the Colombian government had planted the data on the laptop. Surprisingly, I find myself agreeing with Venezuela on one count, the data easily could have been planted. Though, I tend to think this smacks much more of the CIA than the Colombian government.

Zimbabwe - The Zimbabwe government has outlawed foreign businesses. Can you do that? Under the new law, foreign-owned companies must transfer at least 51% of their shares to black Zimbabweans within five years. Economists, business leader, and labor leaders all oppose the law, saying the law will strangle what little foreign investment Zimbabwe attracts. Really? I was under the impression that Zimbabwe attract no foreign investment at all. Critics fear that the shares will be given to Mugabe cronies, just as white-owned farms were seized and given to Mugabe's friends during the "land reform" program a few years ago. Tut, tut. I'm sure Mr. Mugabe has learned from his past transgressions, I don't see what could possibly go wrong with this plan. Zimbabwe suffers from runaway inflation and an unemployment rate above 90%. Seriously, with things as bad as they are now, will anyone really notice if inflation jumps a few ticks from the current annual rate of 6.5 quindecillion novemdecillion percent (65 followed by 107 zeros; I looked it up) or if the unemployment rate surges for 90% to 95%? I think not.

Brazil - A Devassa beer commercial featuring socialite Paris Hilton has been pulled from Brazialian television after complaints that it was too sexy. This is Brazil we're talking about right? After receiving complaints from viewers, the government, and at least on rival brewer, Brazil's advertising industry group asked Devassa to pull the ad, saying it violated a regulation that commercials can't treat women as sex objects. That's right. Only men can do that.. Devassa's logo is a woman in a bikini. Kind of ironic, don't you think? At any rate, you can judge for yourselves (click here). Bear in mind that this is the same country famous (or infamous) for Carnaval, which we all know has it's fair share of scantily clothed individuals of the female persuasion.

Uzbekistan - I guess you could call this "extreme population control". Under a recent Health Ministry directive, Uzbek gynecologists have been ordered to "persuade' at least two women per month to have hysterectomies a month each in order to keep the population down. In fairness to the people, I don't imagine there is a lot to do in Uzbekistan, so you cannot fault them too much for finding creative ways to pass the time. And get this. Apparently, this isn't the first time, Uzbekistan has done this sort of thing. The former Soviet republic began forced sterilizations in 1999, when it had a birth rate of more than 4 children per woman. The practice was stopped in 2003, after it was exposed but apparently has been restarted. I'm no expert, but rather than resorting to such extreme and irreversible surgical procedures, has anyone in the Uzbek government given any thought to a slightly less invasive solution. They are called CONDOMS, people! And they are 98% effective, when those horny little buggers put them on correctly.

What Caught My Eye Today

Haiti (Part I) - At last check the estimated death toll from the 7.0 magnitude earthquake that hit Haiti 11 days ago stood at 111,000. As this next item points out, Haitians are no strangers to natural disasters. Last week's earthquake came in the wake of 4 hurricanes and tropical storms in 2008 that killed hundreds. The earthquake is officially the 15th natural disaster to hit Haiti since 2001. That just ain't right.. Prior to the earthquake, more than 3,000 Haitians had died in natural disasters since the turn of the century and hundreds of thousands had been displaced. The island has the misfortune of being located directly in a geological fault zone, making it susceptible to earthquakes, and its location in the Caribbean makes it a sitting duck for hurricanes. And if that isn't bad enough, the country has endured 33 coups since its inception back in 1804. So not only are Haitians getting no sympathy from Mother Nature, but they have no competent government to help them "weather the storm".

Haiti (Part II) - If this has not come up before, let me go on the record by stating Pat Robertson is an ass. Last week on the Christian Broadcasting Network, Pat Robertson, the TV evangelist said the earthquake that hit Haiti and claimed over 100,000 lives is the Haitians own fault, presumably for practicing voodoo. In his narrow fundamentalist view, Robertson is making a First Commandment argument: When the God of Israel thunders from his mountaintop that "you shall have no other gods before me," he means it. This God rains down disaster on those who disobey. I don't know about you, but one of these days, God is going to rain down of morons like Robertson, and I, for one, won't be shedding a single tear when that day comes.

Canada - As you read this item, substitute your own nation in whenever you see the word "Canada" and your version of the legislative branch of government whenever you see the word "Parliament". Canada does not need its Parliament, according to a Maclean's editorialist. Two week ago, Prime Minister Stephen Harper declared that Parliament should that a two month recess. The editorialist wonders "Would 3 months be any worse? Or 4? Or even 6 months?". The real work of governing is done by the Prime Minister and the Cabinet. The legislature's votes on the governments proposed laws are always along party lines anyways, so really, all that is really needed is for the party leads to vote. With Parliament abolished, we would just vote for a party instead of individual legislators, and the party that won the most votes would form the government, saving the nations millions of dollars a year. Dude poses any interesting hypothesis, doesn't he. Of course, once you step back and realize that he is effectively advocating the type of government that Russia has, his suggestion seems a bit more serious.

Movies - This is a topic of frequent conversation between the missus and me whenever all time movie box office tallies make the news. At $504.9 million (in domestic gross, so far), "Avatar" may well be on track to pass "Titanic" as the top grossing film of all time. But that picture looks very different when you adjust box office numbers for ticket price inflation. By that measure, "Avatar" ranks 34th, just ahead of Disney's animated classic, "Pinocchio". Adjusted for inflation, these are the top ten grossing films of all time:

1. Gone with the Wind - $1.49 billion
2. Star Wars - $1.31 billion
3. The Sound of Music - $1.05 billion
4. E.T. - $1.04 billion
5. The Ten Commandments - $$963 million
6. Titanic - $943 million
7. Jaws - $941 million
8. Doctor Zhivago - $912 million
9. The Exorcist - $813 million
10. Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs - $801 million

Potpourri - In this edition, one of my favorite subjects--statistical trivia

• Space Transportation - Want your very own space shuttle? NASA has cut the price on the '70s era spaceships, which will go out of service late this year, from $42 million to $28.8 million apiece.
  Speaking strictly for myself, I'm holding out for them to show up on eBay before I put my bid in.
• Football - In the 174 minutes of the average football game telecast, viewers see 60 minutes of commercials, 75 minutes of players milling around, 17 minutes of replays, and 11 minutes of actual football.
  So if my math is correct, you could watch an entire season of "actual football" for your favorite team on your DVR in just two minutes longer than a single telecast. Better hope the missus doesn't figure this out, or your Sunday afternoons will be hosed next season.
• Twitter - 32 of the nation's 50 governors use Twitter. California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger has the most followers with 1,609,285. In second place is Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal with 37,147.
  The state economy may be in tatters, but to heck with that. This is something that all Californians can take pride in.

What Caught My Eye Today

Haiti - If this is the first you are hearing the horrific earthquake that hit Haiti last week, you need to seriously consider paying more attention to the world around you. We're barely two weeks into 2010, and the story of the year (perhaps even the decade) is revealing a human catastrophe that almost defies comprehension. A powerful 7.0 magnitude earthquake struck the poor island nation of Haiti last week, the strongest to hit the area in at least 200 years. The quake crushed thousands of structures, from shacks and hospitals to the National Palace and the U.N. peacekeeping headquarters. The International Red Cross said a third of Haiti's 9 million people were in desperate need of emergency aid. Troops, doctors and aid workers are pouring into Haiti even while victims of the quake that killed an estimated 200,000 people still struggled to find a cup of water or a handful of food. European nations pledged more than a half-billion dollars in emergency and long-term aid, on top of at least $100 million promised earlier by the U.S. Even if you are not able to contribute to the relief effort, take a few brief moments to reflect on all the good things in your lives, that all too often we seem to take for granted. And if nothing else say a short prayer for the Haitian people. No one deserves suffering like this. No one.

Okay, that was pretty deep. We need to lighten up the mood a bit, don't you think?

Nigeria - Thousands of protesters marched on the National Assembly building in the Nigerian capital demanding to know who was running the country. I ask myself that same question almost every day. Apparently, there are some folks in Washington who are allegedly attempting to run the country but, at the risk of stating the obvious, I'm skeptical. For the past seven weeks, President Umaru Yar'Adua has been in a Saudi Arabian hospital undergoing treatment for a hear condition and there have been rumors that he had died. Yar'Auda gave a BBC interview this week to assure his nation that he was "getting better" but gave no indication of when he would return home. Meanwhile, Nigeria has been in a constitutional crisis, because Yar'Auda has not officially turned over power to the vice president. Okay, I'll admit that I'm not much of an expert when it comes to Nigerian constitutional law, but one questions just how useful that constitution is when it provides no guidance on what to do when the president is incapacitated with a heart condition...outside the country, no less.

Canada - Depression among Canada's public servants has reach epidemic proportions, according to a recently released report from the Global Business and Economic Roundtable on Mental Health. The report says that mental health claims account for nearly half of all disability claims by public workers, including teachers, nurses, police, military and government bureaucrats. The report suggests that depression can set in because bureaucrats often end work each day feeling that they have accomplished nothing. My apologies if this comes off sounding a bit insensitive...Get over yourselves, you wankers! Find me a job where someone feels as if they are actually accomplishing something, and I'll show you someone who has are really good stash of hooch. Lighten up for crying out loud.

Japan - Tsutomu Yamaguchi has died at 93. So what? you ask. Well I'll tell you. This was, depending on how you look at it, either the luckiest or unluckiest dude in the history of humankind. On August 6, 1945, Yamaguchi survived "Little Boy," the atomic bomb that killed 140,000 people in Hiroshima. Three days later, in Nagasaki, he lived through its successor, "Fat Man," wich killed another 70,000. Although there were believed to be about 165 people who survived both blasts, he was the only one officially recognized by the Japanese government. He died of stomach cancer, likely caused by atomic radiation. Rest in peace, my man. Rest in peace..

Humor - Finally, a quick joke that will hopefully leave you with a bit of a smile... A man walks by an old lady at an ATM. Removing and replacing her glasses, she's clearly having a hard time reading the screen. So she asks the man, "Please, dear, could you check my balance for me?" "Sure," he replied. Then he pushes her over. Until next time.

What Caught My Eye Today

Potpourri - In this edition we highlight the best sort of trivia--fascinating, but utterly useless

• Information - According to a recent University of California, San Diego study, the average person spent 70% of his or her waking hours (about 11.8 hours a day) consuming information. This works out to about 33.8 gigabytes of data and 100,564 words. Over the course of the year this amounts to 3.6 zettabytes and 10,845 trillion words.
  Doesn't it make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside know that you are such enlightened creatures?
• Innocence - Internet security firm Symantec released a list of top terms searched by kids in 2009 (at the risk of stating the obvious, the results aren't terribly promising). "Porn" was in the top 4 for kids ages 7 and under, just ahead of "Club Penguin"
  If that isn't enough to make you scratch your head. I checked the full list for tweens (8 to 13) and teens (13-18). Porn didn't crack the top ten for tweens and only managed to rank 6th among teens. Both of these groups seem more interesting in "doing it" rather than "watching it" as "Sex" ranked 4th in both age groups. Should you be curious, "Google", "Youtube" and "Facebook" were the top 3 terms for all 3 age groups.
• Call signs - As you may or may not know, the US Secret Service assigns "call signs" for POTUS (that would be the President to you civilian folk) and other high ranking government officials under its protection. See if you can guess which recent POTUS matches up with these call signs. I'll give you the answers at the end of this posting--Trailblazer, Rawhide, Volunteer, Deacon, Eagle. Searchlight, Passkey, Timberwolf.

Terrorism - I'm a bit late on this one, but if you didn't catch this one on the news, then its news to you, isn't it? A Slovak man unwittingly carried a hidden explosive on board a flight from Slovakia to Dublin, Ireland, after a Slovak airport-security test went awry. Slovak officials had placed different bomb components in the check-in luggage of 9 passengers to see if security screeners would spot the contraband. One of the bags containing 3 ounces of explosive got through. Slovak authorities expressed profound regret to Ireland. Gee whiz, that's awfully big of them. Let me see if I've got this straight. Apparently, it isn't enough of a challenge trying to prevent people who actually want to blow up planes from getting past security. No no. let's get some poor unsuspecting slob to smuggle the stuff. Oh sure, dude might get detained by authorities and locked up for being a terrorist all in the name of testing security...but so what?

Mexico - It's traditional in Mexico for women to buy new underwear on New Year's Day for good luck. Most by red ones, which are said to help the wearer find love in the new year. This year, yellow--which symbolizes wealth--out sold red by a margin of two to one. Mexico's economy was the hardest hit in all of Latin America in 2009, shrinking by more than 7%. Not surprisingly, Mexicans are seeking money instead of love. So many thoughts come to mind, but I'll limit myself to one that is suitable for all audiences (yes, even those sex-crazed 7 year olds). Love is a wonderful thing, no doubt about it. But let's be real here. It don't pay the rent and it don't put food on the table.

France - It's the fact that this story comes out of France that makes me chuckle. France may soon make it a crime for couples to insult each other. The French government is drafting a law banning "psychological violence" between married or cohabited couples. French officials say verbal abuse often leads to physical abuse. They hope the new policy will prevent domestic abuse by catching potential abusers before they move from words to fists. Critics say the measure would be impossible to enforce. Do you think? Admittedly, I derive pleasure out of mocking the French (as I'm sure they do mocking Americans), but honestly, if these morons pass this law, France will become, without question, a nation of mutes. On a more serious note, I'm a firm believer in not keeping one's emotions bottled up. This rarely ends well. You can only absorb so much before you reach a breaking point--which more than likely will result in more than a few choice words spoken in an elevated tone.

South Africa - President Jacob Zuma got married last week...for the fifth time. Here comes the interesting part. South Africa now has three first ladies. The 67-year old Zuma lost one wife to divorce and one to suicide and has another fiancee for who he has already paid a dowry. Zuma, father of 19 children said, "there are plenty of politicians who have mistresses and children that they hide so as to pretend they're monogamous. I prefer to be open." Yeah, way to take the high moral ground there, sparky. For the record, polygamy is legal in South Africa and practiced among Zuma's fellow Zulus.

Potpourri (Part II): Alright then. Let's see how well you matched up the President with his call sign.

• Trailblazer: George W. Bush
• Rawhide: Ronald Reagan
• Volunteer: Lyndon B Johnson
• Deacon: Jimmy Carter
• Eagle: Bill Clinton
• Searchlight: Richard Nixon
• Passkey: Gerald Ford
• Timberwolf: George H. W. Bush

Should you be interested in more Secret Service code name (I know I am), click here.

What Caught My Eye Today - 2010 Winter Olympics Preview

Fred's Note: Faithful readers are well aware of my interest for less mainstream sports--at least in the US--as evidenced by frequent postings from the world of motor sports (NASCAR, F1), football (aka soccer), cycling (go Lance) and, of course, yachting (hey, billionaires can be athletes too). Add to that list, the Olympics.

Winter Olympics - For those of you in the know, it comes as no big surprise that the US is not exactly known for its prowess in winter sports. I have gone on record as suggesting that it will be a major accomplishment if the US manages to break the top 10 in medal count at the upcoming Olympic Games being hosted in Vancouver, British Columbia next month. That being said, it turns out that the good ol' US of A is actually second (Norway tops the list) in total medals awarded at the Winter Olympics (click here), though it is worth mentioning that only 12 nations have participated in all 20 Winter Olympic Games that have been conducted. I also have to give props to the Stars and Stripes for its performance at the 2006 games, where we came in second (Germany took first) in total medals with 25 (9 gold, 9 silver and 7 bronze). So where am I going with all this? Glad you asked. I did some digging and found some predictions on how well the US might do this time around.

• Biathalon: 0 medals
  Seeing as we've never won a medal in this sport...ever...not much of a surprise that this year won't be any different.
• Alpine Skiing: 4 medals (2 gold)
  Two words for you--Lindsey Vonn.
• Cross-Country Skiing: 0 medals
  Unlike the biathalon, we've actually managed to score one medal...back in 1976.
• Freestyle Skiing: 3 medals (no gold)
  Seeing as we sort of invented the sport, you would hope that we walk away with some hardware.
• Snowboarding: 6 medals (3 gold)
  Pretty much the same deal as freestyle skiing, plus we still have our boy Shaun White tearing things up at the ripe old age of 22.
• Ski Jumping: 0 medals
  The fact that experts would consider a top 20 finish as a victory shows just how far the US has to go before it can even dream about getting a medal.
• Nordic-combined : 1 medal.
  Surprisingly, the US has some dude winning some World Cup events this season who may be able to claim a medal for the US for the first time ever.
• Bobsled: 2 medals
  Seriously, is this like one of the coolest sports to watch or what?
• Skeleton: 1 medal
  Ditto.
• Luge: 0 medals
  Not to sound like a broken record, but ditto.
• Figure Skating: 1 medal
  The US runs a serious risk of taking home no medals for the first time. It's best hope for hardware is ice dancing. Ice dancing? But we suck at ice dancing.
• Speed skating: 4 medals (2 gold)
  This event sort of reminds me of swimming or track and field. Given all the distances that are contested, we should be able to pick up a few medals.
• Short track: 3 medals (1 gold)
  This totally reminds me of roller derby, but on ice. Look for Apolo Anton Ohno to hang up his dance shoes and bring home some precious medal.
Hockey: 2 medals (1 gold)
Apparently, the US women's team is the surest bet for gold the US has this year.
• Curling: 1 medal
  I don't really understand why, but I turn this on and the next thing I know I've lost 3 hours out of my day. Something about men with brooms, I guess.

By my calculations, if these predictions play out, the US will pick up 27 medals (9 gold). If so, this would be a slight improvement over the 25 medals it took home from Turin in 2006.

What Caught My Eye Today - 2010 Predictions

Fred's Note: I'm getting off to a late start this year (and, I guess decade). As I did last year, I'm going to start off with some expert predictions, followed by some of my own.

2010 Predictions (Part I) - This according to the "experts".

1. The start of WWIII. The war will begin in November of 2010 and will end in October of 2014. Will start as a normal war, then will include usage of nuclear and chemical weapons.
   I got this from some Russian prophetess named Baba Vanga. Nuclear holocaust aside, doesn't saying the name "Baba Vanga" make you chuckle...just a little bit?
2. One or two US Supreme Court justices may become seriously ill or die by 2010.
   Yeah, I can see that, what with the average age of Supreme Court justices being up there with the discovery of dirt.
3. One or two more elderly Senators will die by the end of the year.
   Death...the ultimate term limit.
4. Confusion over leadership leads to the collapse of the North Korean government.
   What's this I hear? Some doubt over the succession of Kim Jong Il to 'junior'. Shocking.
5. At least 3 Democrats will lose their seats to Republican or Independent candidates in the next election.
   If it is only 3 I, for one, will be stunned.
6. Somalia will become a deadly battleground for the US.
   Would that be before or after we start fighting in Yemen?
7. The Pacific Ring of Fire will trigger many storms and threats of a typhoon and/or tsunami damaging the Philippines, Malaysia, Vietnam, and China.
   In other words, what has been happening for the past few years, will continue in 2010.
8. An assassination attempt will be made on Afghanistan President, Hamid Karzai.
   Sadly, that doesn't seem very far-fetched.
9. Tiger Woods attempts suicide.This on the other hand...not going to happen.
10. The Dow Jones Industrial average will finish the year under 9000.
    In an election year? I seriously doubt it.

2010 Predictions (Part II) - Okay my turn...

1. Olympics: The US will make the top 10 in medal count...barely.
2. Economy: The US unemployment rate will drop to 9.5%
3. Economy: The Dow Jones Industrial average will finish above 11,750. I'm an optimist.
4. International: Greece will be dissolved after it defaults on its national debt. Okay, not really, but I'm betting Greece will default on its international debt obligations.
5. International: Queen Elizabeth II will celebrate her Diamond Jubilee (60 years as queen). Sorry, Chuck.
6. Soccer: The US will make it into the knock out stage in the World Cup. Due mostly to the fact that they lucked out with a relatively easy draw (Algeria, England, Slovenia, US).
7. Cycling: Lance Armstrong will win his 8th Tour de France title.
8. Golf: Tiger Woods will win at least one major. What with that nasty upcoming divorce and lack of endorsement deals, dude will have to rely on his winnings to make rent.
9. Pop Culture: Brad Pitt and Angela Jolie breakup. Something tells me Pitt just isn't a "'one woman for life" type of guy. (Thanks to CK for pointing out to me that Brangelina are not actually married).
10. Pop Culture: A female will win this year's American Idol. After two years of all male finalists, it's about time, don't you think?

What Caught My Eye Today - 2009 Predictions Revisited

Fred's Note: At the beginning of this year (click here), I reported on predictions for 2009 from both the experts and yours truly. Let's see how we did, shall we.

• There will be an assassination attempt on Barack Obama.
  No assassination attempts this year, just a Nobel Peace Prize.
• There will be serious tensions within Europe as the Euro free falls with both France and Germany threatening to leave the European Union.
  They got this one partially right. France and Germany are still in the EU and the Euro is still worth a lot more than the greenback, but Greece is in a major world of financial hurt.
• There is a world wide rekindling of socialist ideals and a major swing back towards communism in Russia.
  I hate to admit it, but the prognosticators hit this one out of the ballpark. Though in Russia's case, I'm thinking there isn't so much a swing towards communism as there is toward "Putinism".
• There will be a major terrorist attack in Dubai.
  Not so much a terrorist attack as it was an attack of reality on the free-spending ways of the sheik. Big brother over in Abu Dhabi was not happy with his under sibling.
• There will be a knife attack on a top celebrity.
  No knife attacks, but man, what a tough year for the celebrity circuit.
• Afghanistan, Pakistan, Bangladesh, Nepal will continue to be unstable nations with corrupt governments.
  No way! These dude totally had their "poop" together this past year.

And then there were my predictions:

• The New York Stock Exchange will close the year above 10500.
  Though there are still 2 trading days left, the Dow close at 10,545. I'm claiming victory on this one.
• Lindsay Lohan will become pregnant
  Shockingly, Ms. Lohan was relatively quiet this year. Pity.
• Prince Charles will not become the King of England...again.
  By sheer coincidence I saw a tabloid a couple of days ago saying Elizabeth II had given her throne to young William. Chalk up another one for me.
• An industrial accident will claim thousands of lives in China
  I'm going with a draw on this one; too difficult to prove what sort on craziness goes on in the Middle Kingdom.
• One of the ex-Presidents will die.
  I'm okay with getting this one wrong.
• The world will miraculously make it through another year without a "dirty bomb" being detonated.
  Right again, though we sure seem to have dodged a lot of close calls this past year.
• The Chicago Cubs will not win the World Series...again.
  Hey, right is right no matter how easy the prediction was.
• Tiger Woods will win at least one major in 2009
  5 tournament wins but no majors. Yeah that's what we'll remember him for in 2009.
• Lance Armstrong will finish in the top 3 in this year's Tour De France.
  Who's da man?
• Osama bin Liden will celebrate yet another year as a fugitive rather than behind bars.
  Maybe the dude died already, and we just haven't gotten the memo yet.

So whose inner Nostradamus has more game? The experts went 2 of 6 and I was 6-3-1. I'll let the record speak for itself.

What Caught My Eye Today

Top Stories of 2009 - According to the fine folks at the Associated Press.

1. The Economy - Let me break it down for you: 2008 - sucked, 2009 - still sucked, and 2010 - more suckage expected.
2. Obama Inauguration - I'm more impressed that the American public was able to overlook the fact that this dude's middle name is "Hussein" than the fact that he's the first black president.
3. Healthcare - Congress may actually pull of healthcare reform before year's end. So why doesn't that make me feel any better?
4. Auto Industry - Some PR firm is going to have to come up with a new nickname. I don't think "The Big Three" is going to cut it anymore.
5. Swine Flu - Strange, I though H1N1 was much more appealing than "pig flu."
6. Afghanistan - Sort of a bad news / good news story. Bad news: we're still there. Good news: now we have a plan. Okay, so maybe its a bad news / wishful thinking story.
7. Michael Jackson - Thus far the King of Pop's legacy seems to be mostly positive, which is somewhat surprising given all the weirdness that surrounding him while he was alive.
8. Fort Hood Rampage - It's frightening to contemplate the perpetrator of this tragedy was supposed to be helping soldiers with mental health issues. Our troops deserve so much better.
9. Edward Kennedy dies - After all tragedy the Kennedy family has endured, somehow it is a bit comforting that this Kennedy died of natural causes.
10. Miracle on the Hudson - Feel good story of the year, without a doubt. Rumor has it that "Sully" might crack the top 10 in baby names next year.

Sweden - A popular Swedish fast food chain is encouraging its customer to reduce their carbon footprints by eating less beef. Next to each menu item, Max Burger (you just can't make this stuff up) now lists the amount, in kilograms, of greenhouse gases emitted to produce it. The all-beef burgers are the worst offenders, while the falafel burgers and half-beef/half-soy burgers are deemed more earth-friendly. "We hope to change the whole of the fast food industry," said a company spokesperson. Yeah, good luck with that, sparky. Anyone want odds on whether or not this chain will still be solvent this time next year?

Canada - I'll bet you a nickel you cannot make it through this story without laughing. Canadian scientists researching the effects of pornography on young men have had to scrap their plans, as they could not find any young men who had not watched pornography. Big surprise there. And you're laughing too, aren't ya? Researchers had hoped to compare a group of admitted porn users with a "control group" of men in their 20s who had never viewed pornography, but couldn't find any. Instead they found young, single men spent about two hours every week viewing porn on the Internet. Okay, now I'm surprised. Two hours a week? Right. Maybe if they had said two hours a day, but two hours a week?

Potpourri - More items for the "Are you serious?" file.

• A California man is suing the makers of the "World of Warcraft" online video game for $1 million, saying the game has left him "sad, lonely, and alienated."
  I'm thinking this guys personality may have something to do with that as well.
• A California man is proposing a ballot initiative to ban heterosexual divorce saying "Since California has decided to protect traditional marriage, it would be hypocritical of us not to sacrifice some of our own rights to protect traditional marriage even more."
  Unusual logic, but you have to admit, he does sort of make a valid argument.
• A Florida woman was arrested on charges of falsely reporting a bomb at an airport. Police say she called in the threat in order to delay a flight to Honduras, because her boss was running late.
  Wow, that's serious dedication. She must be running for Secretary of the Year honors.
• A Swedish man has abandoned efforts to produce milk from his own breasts. He was convinced that with daily 3-hour breast-pumping sessions, he could stimulate himself to lactate, thus liberating the mother of his child from bearing the brunt of childcare responsibilities. All he got was sore breasts.
  Words elude me on this one. I'm utterly speechless.

What Caught My Eye Today

India - Forty years after the Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty (NPT) was signed, an agreement that prohibits nonnuclear states from acquiring such weapons, India's Prime Minister Monmohan Singh announced that India is willing to join the NPT as a nuclear weapons state. Before I rain on their parade, here's a bit more on why this pronouncement is newsworthy...yeah whatever. By pursuing NPT status India stands to gain several benefits. It would enhance the country's image as a responsible great power without forcing it to sacrifice its nuclear deterrent. It would serve as a strong warning to Iran about its suspected NPT violations. And it would help India deflect calls to join the Comprehensive Nuclear Test Ban Treaty, an agreement that would ban testing of all nuclear weapons. As I subtly alluded to a few moments ago, it is my belief that this is much ado about nothing. First of all, in order to admit India to the NPT, the agreement has to be amended to allow India to sign onto a treaty specifically intended to prohibit nations from developing nuclear weapons if they didn't already have that capability prior to 1967. Seriously, what's the point. Given that logic, we might as well kill two birds with one stone and sign North Korea up for this deal along with India. As for the suggestion that this gesture will somehow act as a deterrent to Iran, I have two words for you--AS IF. Since when has Iran cared about what any other nation has thought of its actions? I contend that this will serve as motivation that Iran can keep on its current course. If India can get away with ignoring the NPT, why can't Iran? And lastly, let me see if I have this straight. India wants to join a treaty that it has previously ignored, so it can avoid participating in another treaty with pretty much the same purpose as the NPT. Does this sound peculiar to anyone besides me?

Canada - As you may have heard, there is a climate conference going on for the next two weeks in Denmark. I stumbled upon this little nugget a couple of days ago. Canada has long been revered as a champion of good causes but to many delegates attending the conference in Copenhagen, Canada is just another eco-hostile petrostate, thanks in large part to its unapologetic support for its extremely dirty but highly lucrative energy industry, especially the carbon-spewing Alberta tar sands. Interestingly, this is just the latest in Canada's fall from grace among the eco-friendly set. Three years ago, Canada formally dropped its commitment to the Kyoto Protocol and Canadian carbon dioxide emissions have risen 25% since 1999. And the Climate Change Performance Index for 2009 ranks Canada 59th, just one place ahead of Saudi Arabia. Right then. Let's put this into proper context, shall we? Canada is cashing in on an energy source that has been known to exist for years but only recently become financially feasible given the recent run up in oil prices. I challenge any country to claim that it wouldn't have done the same thing (especially in the current economic environment) given the same opportunity that was presented to Canada. As for dropping the Kyoto Protocol, at least they participated for most of it. The limits are scheduled to expire in 2013 and the biggest polluters were not following the protocol at all (China, Russia, Brazil and, of course, the United States). I really don't see this as being that much of a sell out. And that 25% increase in carbon emissions? Amateurs. The U.S. is good for almost 21% of the global emissions compared with Canada's 1.9%. Though curiously, the U.S. is expected to have a 6.1% decrease in emissions for 2009. Finally, a silver lining to that 10% unemployment rate. Who would have thought that not working would be good for the environment? Anyway, my point is this. Canada might not be the poster child for environmental responsibility, but even with recent developments these dudes are miles better than those of us who couldn't be bothered to even try to make an effort to improve until now.

Begging - Each year, more and more people are going online for their holiday shopping, but in these hard times, the Internet is also becoming a place where people in need can ask for a handout. Heck, everything else is schlepped on the 'Net. I suppose it was just a matter of time before begging caught on.. There are thousands of appeals on craigslist and on other Web sites devoted to begging, such as Begslist, CyberBeg and DonateMoney2me.com. Some sites charge up to $45 a month. Sort of defeats the purpose, don't you think? DonateMoney2me.com says that's so it can provide better services, including advice on how to enhance an online appeal by using phrases such as "with your help, we can go on" and "your generosity can give a new lease on life.". That totally makes sense. These guys are totally providing a service. After all, it requires a lot of effort to find just the right phrases to steal from all those Hallmark cards.

Tiger Woods - I thought that I was going to avoid talking about this Tiger Woods nonsense, but clearly I was mistaken. I appreciate that it's hard to have much sympathy for a dude making $90 million a year who got caught with his hand in the wrong cookie jar, but seriously, how much must it suck to be this guy right now? Here's a quick recap of what has to be considered a contender for the "Worse Week Ever" award. Tiger Woods’ recent car accident has led to a media firestorm surrounding his personal life. The world’s No. 1 golfer hit a hydrant and a tree on Nov. 27, and he was cited for careless driving and fined $164. The accident and Woods’ refusal to answer questions about it—fueled speculation about a possible dispute between him and his wife, Elin. Woods has been out of the public eye since the crash and subsequent allegations of extramarital affairs. Last week, Woods issued a statement saying he had let his family down with unspecified "transgressions" that he regrets with "all of my heart." Translation: "I can't believe Elin found out. Damn that caller id!" But wait there's more. Late last week, it was reported that Elin bought a $2 million cottage on a secluded island in Sweden with her twin sister--sheer coincidence, I'm sure. And then, this week there was another 911 call from the Woods' estate--this time because Elin's mother was suffering from chest pains. Reckless driving, marital problems, and mother-in-law suffering chest pains? Come on, you have to feel some sympathy for this poor bastard. But wait, there's still more. Apparently Tiger was being considered for the Congressional Medal of Honor, the highest award Congress has to honor civilians for achievements and contributions to society. Not no more. Oh, I almost forgot. Gatorade is taking the Tiger-themed Focus sports drink off the market due to slumping sales. This chump cannot catch a break.

What Caught My Eye Today

Iran - On the off chance that you are not up on the latest political dish in Iran, trust me when I say this is a pretty big deal. A not-so-quiet debate is brewing inside the seminaries of Qum, Iran's religious capital, over how to abolish the post of the all-powerful Supreme Leader of the Islamic Republic. Critics charge that the position--whose legitimacy is derived directly from God (I've heard of mandates, but this seems a bit over the top, don't you think?) -- is based on a radical interpretation of Islam. Top Shiite scholars have compared allegiance to the Supreme Leader to an act of polytheism (which I'm guessing is bad) and have suggested to Ayatollah Ali Khamenei that "your religious legitimacy has vanished." That doesn't sound so good either. Few clerics have yet to openly call for the abolition of the post, which would be and act of treason (Now I know that's bad. They chop off heads for stuff like that).

Russia (Part I) - Pope Benedict XVI and visiting Russian President Dmitry Medvedev agreed to upgrade Vatican-Kremlin relations to full diplomatic ties. A Vatican statement said Benedict and Medvedev agreed that Russia will upgrade its representation at the Vatican from a special mission to embassy level and that the Vatican will reciprocate in Moscow. The step forward on the diplomatic front comes at the same time as a warming in previously tense relations between the Russian Orthodox Church and the Vatican. Usually I would applaud this as a rather substantial reconciliation. Religion is like family. Nothing about it is ever clear cut and simple. But I digress. Like I said, usually I would applaud this, however, recent events suggest this might just be a temporary thawing.

Russia (Part II) - Prime Minister Vladimir Putin sent his strongest signal yet that he plans to return to Russia's presidency, telling millions of TV viewers that he will consider running in 2012. Putin has remained Russia's consummate leader since constitutional term limits forced him to step down in 2008. He named Medvedev as his anointed successor and, shortly after the election, Medvedev named him prime minister. At least the sanctity of the Russia constitution is still in tact. The premiership had been a comparatively low-profile position, but Putin has pushed it into the spotlight, logging more TV time in the Medvedev era than the president himself. Medvedev has appeared to be little more than a figurehead and placeholder. Hey now. Is it Putin's fault that he's more photogenic, more charasmatic, more handsome, more intelligent, wiser...not to mention blessed with rock hard abs--but I digress again. Where was I? Oh yeah. Is it Putin's fault that Medvedev is such a sap? I think not. And why shouldn't the Russian people have a leader worthy of their support. Screw the Constitution, I say.

Humor - This joke made me laugh. Ordinarily, this wouldn't be so noteworthy, but here's the thing. This joke has no political undertones and doesn't poke fun at any group or stereotype (unless you are a talking dog). A guy is driving around and sees a sign in front of a house that reads, "Talking dog for sale." So he stop and the owner takes him out to the backyard to see the dog. "You talk?" he asked. "Yes I do." the dog replied. "When I was a puppy, the CIA had me jetting from country to country sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. Now I'm retired." The man was amazed and asked the dog's owner how much he wanted for the dog. "Ten dollars." the owner said. "Ten dollars? Why on earth would you want to sell him for so little?" "Because he's a liar. He never did any of that stuff."

What Caught My Eye Today

Fred's Note: Should you be looking for comment on Tiger Woods personal life or Obama's war strategy for Afghanistan, you will have to look elsewhere. It's not that I don't care about the Afghanistan story, but if you have access to the same news outlets that I do, you've heard enough analysis in the past 24 hours to last the rest of this year...and probably most of next year as well. As for Tiger Woods and his alleged extra marital affair; we've heard this story before and we all know how it ends.

World Hunger - A depressing subject got even more depressing last week. Some 60 heads of state gathered in Rome for a summit on food security rejected a United Nations call for rich nations to commit billions of dollars to develop agriculture in countries where hunger is widespread and also shot down the U.N.'s call for a pledge to end hunger by 2025. I realize that resources are limited and there is not an endless supply of money to fund every philanthropic endeavor, but this seems like a pretty worthwhile cause that could yield tangible results rather quickly as compared to ending global warming or ridding the world of nuclear weapons. About 1 billion people--almost one out of every six people on the planet--are underfed and a child somewhere dies of hunger every six seconds. Seriously, what am I missing here? How much more urgency is needed to justify some action on this?

Mexico - As if we needed another indication of just how bad the global recession has hit the United States. Now it appears that we're taking hand outs from our neighbors south of the border. Mexicans have begun sending money to their relatives north of the border, instead of the other way around. The so-called "reverse remittances," once extremely rare, are becocming more common as Mexicans who moved to the U.S. for work have lost their jobs. Banks report that money sent from Mexicans in the U.S. back home say that amount has dropped more than 13% in the past year. Lucky for Mexico it has a thriving drug trade that can help fill in for all that lost revenue from the U.S.

Nepal - A quarter-million aminals were slaughtered in a festival honoring Gadhimai, a Hindu goddess of power. That shreik you just heard came from the folks at PETA, who clearly had a very, very bad week. The festival is held every 5 years in Hindu communities areoud the world. The Nepal gathering is the largest. Following the ritual slaughter--mostly of buffaloes, goats, chickens and pigeons--the meat was taken back to villages for local feasts. The meat of animals consecrated to Gadhimai is said to protect Hindues from evil. Animal-rights activists reportedly encouraged pilgrims to substitute coconuts and other fruites for the sacrifice, but met with little success. Big surprise. Think about it. What self-respecting diety would be satisfied with a ritualistic sacrifice of fruit salad?

Potpourri - More head scratchers from--you guessed it--the world of juris prudence.

• Good Deeds - A Pennsylvania Boy Scout who spent more than 200 hours clearing a hiking trail in a city park has drawn the ire of a municipal union. A spokesperson for the Service Employees International Union threatened to file a grievance, saying only union members can work in the park.
  I guess the saying is true--no good deed goes unpunished.
• Marriage - A California man is suing the San Francisco International Airport for $15 million, claiming that the airport noise ruined his marriage. The man says his marriage "went downhill almost immediately upon moving" into the house in 2003 and he blames airplanes for driving his wife of 13 years to leave him.
  Hey, Einstein. When you were shopping around for houses, were you completely oblivious to all those airplanes flying around you? I'm not sure I'd blame the airport for your marital problems. Perhaps you should look for a different source. Might I suggest taking a look in the closest mirror?

What Caught My Eye Today

Did You Know - Fred's Note: I saw this fascinating comparison of U.S. states to other countries on a variety of different metrics. See if you can guess which rated higher. Check out the answers at the end of today's posting.

• Higher per capita income: Italy or Mississippi?
• Higher infant mortality rate: Sri Lanka or Washington D.C.?
• Higher number of physicians per 10,000 people: Kuwait or Idaho?
• Higher birth rate: Jamaica or Utah?
• Higher number of students per teacher: South Korea or Oregon?
• Higher Hispanic population: Guatemala or California?
• Higher Gross Domestic Product: Nepal or North Dakota?
• Higher unemployment rate: Croatia or Michigan?

Sarah Palin - It was bound to happen. At some point Sarah Palin was going to become an "-ism". Full disclosure: I'm stealing from an editorial written by an author who probably leans a bit left on center on the political spectrum...but, then so do I. Sarah Palin's celebrity is so powerful that it has reduced a large part of the Republican Party to irrationality and civic incoherence. That's laying it on a bit thick, don't you think? She couldn't possibly be that influential. According to a recent poll, Republicans are more likely to say they would seriously consider voting for Palin for President (65%) than to say she is qualified for the job (58%). But wait, there's more. Apparently, some dudes in the White House with way too much time on their hands have coined a phrase for this disturbing phenomenon. What Obama advisers privately refer to as "Palinism" has created a climate of ideological purity inside the GOP. To deviate from the anti-Obama line at all--that is, to acknowledge that politics is the art of compromise--risks the censure of the party. The editorial goes into more detail, but you get the idea. Apparently, ideology trump rational thought. Seriously, how could you possibly explain voting for someone that you don't this is qualified to be the leader of the free world. I appreciate the fact that being able to see Russia from your house, counts for a lot, but still...what could you possibly be thinking?

Word of the Year - I guess it all depends on who you ask. "Admonish", a verb dating to the 14th century meaning "to express warning or disapproval in a gentle, earnest, or solicitous manner," generated enough curiosity to crown it Merriam-Webster's Word of the Year for 2009. It beat out several other finalists that emerged the "intersection of news and vocabulary." Runners-up included inaugurate, pandemic, furlough and rogue — the latter tied to Sarah Palin and the sole carryover from the 2008 list. Other dictionary makers and groups also announce Words of the Year, using different methodology. The New Oxford American Dictionary chose "unfriend," the act of removing someone as a friend on Facebook or other social networking site. Oxford uses a committee of lexicographers and other experts to select a word that is not currently in the dictionary but will be added. Merriam-Webster, on the other hand, selects among existing entries based on Web site traffic. And for those of you who don't trust those shady dictionary publishers, there is the American Dialect Society. Though, these guys need a few more weeks to weigh in on their Word of the Year--though rumor has it that they will go with "unfriend". I did some checking--because, I too clearly have too much time on my hands--and it turns out that this American Dialect Society is pretty hardcore about its words. They also came up with the "Word of the 1990s" (web), "Word of the 20th Century" (jazz), and "Word of the Past Millennium" (she). Seems to me they, too, need to find more productive uses of their time.

Did You Know - Okay, let's see how well you did. The common thread among all these comparisons was to highlight how closely the conditions in some U.S. states mirror those of other countries...at least from a statistical perspective.

• Higher per capita income: Italy ($30,250) or Mississippi ($30,399)
• Higher infant mortality rate: Sri Lanka (11/1,000 births) or Washington D.C. (11.26)
• Higher number of physicians per 10,000 people: Kuwait (18) or Idaho (17.9)
• Higher birth rate: Jamaica (20.8/1,000 people) or Utah (21)
• Higher number of students per teacher: South Korea (21.1) or Oregon (21.3)
• Higher Hispanic population: Guatemala (13 million) or California (13.5 million)
• Higher Gross Domestic Product: Nepal ($31.1 billion) or North Dakota ($31.2 billion)
• Higher unemployment rate: Croatia (14.2%) or Michigan (14.7%)

What Caught My Eye Today

Russia - Mikhail Kalashnikov, the man who invented the AK-47 assault rifle has won Russia's highest honor--Hero of the Russian Federation. Presenting the award to Kalashnikov on his 90th birthday, Prsident Dmitri Medvedev said the AK-47 was "a national brand that makes each citizen proud." Sort of the Russian version of the Smith & Wesson...I guess. Kalashnikov himself expressed mixed emotions, saying he regretted that his rifle was "sometimes used where it shouldn't have been." The AK-47 is the weapon of choice for guerrilla groups, because it is easy to take apart and won't jam in sandy or wet conditions. Meaning it can kill people no matter how inept the person pulling the trigger happens to be. Nonetheless, I do feel for this guy a little bit. More than 100 million AK-47s have been sold worldwide and the inventor never got a single royalty check. Moral considerations and karma aside, this guy got hosed on this deal. It's this sort of thing that, in my humble opinion, will always doom communism to failure. People want to get paid fairly for what they produce. Think about it, if this guy had invented the AK-47 in Sweden, we'd probably have a bunch of Kalashnikov laureates, in addition to those Nobel prize winners. Royalties on guns certainly would have been at least as much as what was paid for a few sticks of dynamite.

Mexico - Mexican security forces have unearthed an elaborate 400-foot tunnel connecting Tijuana to the U.S.--indicating just how sophisticated human- and drug-smuggling operations have become in the region. I'm not so sure about that. For my money, this is more of an indication that the border patrols on both side are woefully understaffed or blind as bats. Dude, it's a freakin' tunnel! What, nobody noticed the massive amounts of dirt being excavated from the ground? It's not like this was a hastily built tunnel either. Check this out. The unfinished tunnel which starts in a building near the Tijuana airport has a lighting and ventilation system, is wood-lined, and roomy enough for a 6-footer to walk through without having to crouch. I hear they were working out a deal for a McDonald's as well, before they got busted by the 'federales'.

Egypt - Italian archaeologists believe they have unearthed the remains of 50,000 Persian soldiers killed in a freak sandstorm 2,500 years ago. Really? That's a pretty big find. The Greek historian Herodotus wrote about the lost army of King Cambyses II, sent to conquer Egypt in 525 B.C. "A wind arose from the south, strong and deadly, bringing with it vast columns of whirling sand which entirely covered up the troops and caused them wholly to disappear." Most modern historians though the story was made up. Can you blame them? Admittedly, technology has evolved a bit in the past 2,500 years, but it is still rather difficult to imagine that a sand storm wiped out a 50,000 soldier army.

Visual Impairment - A visually impaired man is suing the Sony Corporation for not making its video games accessible to blind people. No no. You read that right. The man claims in his lawsuit that the Americans With Disabilities Act entitles him to "full and equal enjoyment" of Sony's products, but that the company has so far "constructed the products in a way that blind people cannot enjoy." Um, okay. So like seeing as you filed the lawsuit, what would you recommend the folks at Sony do to make those video games more appealing to blind people?

What Caught My Eye Today

Sarah Palin - Guess who wrote herself one whopper of book? Shockingly, there are some, like the Associated Press, that question the validity of some of the claims made in the tome. Sarah Palin's new book reprises familiar claims from the 2008 presidential campaign that haven't become any truer over time. Ignoring substantial parts of her record if not the facts, she depicts herself as a frugal traveler on the taxpayer's dime, a reformer without ties to powerful interests and a politician roguishly indifferent to high ambition. Clearly this is just another pathetic attempt by leftist liberals to smear the reputation of a true-blue American. I cannot imagine what these whack jobs could possibly question about Palin. Let's see what they came up with.

• Claim: Palin rails against taxpayer-financed bailouts, which she attributes to Obama. She recounts telling daughter Bristol that to succeed in business, "you'll have to be brave enough to fail."
  Fact: Palin is blurring the lines between Obama's stimulus plan and the federal bailout that Republican presidential candidate John McCain voted for and President George W. Bush signed
• Claim: Palin says Ronald Reagan faced an even worse recession than the one that appears to be ending now, and "showed us how to get out of one. If you want real job growth, cut capital gains taxes and slay the death tax once and for all."
  Fact: The estate tax, which some call the death tax, was not repealed under Reagan and capital gains taxes are lower now than when Reagan was president. Economists overwhelmingly say the current recession is far worse. The recession Reagan faced lasted for 16 months; this one is in its 23rd month. The recession of the early 1980s did not have a financial meltdown. Unemployment peaked at 10.8%, worse than the October 2009 high of 10.2%, but the jobless rate is still expected to climb.
• Claim: Palin says Obama has admitted that the climate change policy he seeks will cause people's electricity bills to "skyrocket."
  Fact: In January 2008, Obama told San Francisco Chronicle editors that under his cap-and-trade climate proposal, "electricity rates would necessarily skyrocket" as utilities are forced to retrofit coal burning power plants to reduce carbon dioxide emissions. Democratic legislation now before Congress calls for a variety of measures aimed at mitigating consumer costs. Several studies predict average household costs probably would be $100 to $145 a year.
• Claim: In describing her resistance to federal stimulus money, Palin describes Alaska as a practical, libertarian haven of independent Americans who don't want "help" from government busybodies.
  Fact: Alaska is one of the states most dependent on federal subsidies, receiving much more assistance from Washington than it pays in federal taxes. A study for the nonpartisan Tax Foundation found that in 2005, the state received $1.84 for every dollar it sent to Washington.

See? They got nothing. Nothing at all.

Iran - Iran's Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei cannot be removed from his post because his legitimacy comes from God. Sure it was. Perhaps I should give them the benefit of the doubt. Seriously, who would make such an outlandish claim without some basis in fact to back that statement up? A Khamenei representative in the elite Revolutionary Guards, told a gathering of Khamenei's representatives in Iranian universities that the clerical body that chose him, the Assembly of Experts, could not remove him. "The members of the assembly ... do not appoint the Supreme Leader, rather they discover him and it is not that they would be able to remove him any time they wish so." I stand corrected. In theory, Khamenei can be removed by the 86-man Assembly of Experts, which approved him as successor to Ayatollah Khomeini in 1989. But the system has never been tested. And in reality, it probably never will be.

Russia - Russia's President Dmitry Medvedev has proposed reducing the number of time zones spanning his vast country. He did not say by how many, but Russia currently has 11 time zones. President Medvedev said, when he raised the issue in his state of the nation speech, that Russians had "traditionally been accustomed to feeling a pride" in how many time zones the country had "because to us it seemed a vivid illustration of the greatness of our motherland". Makes sense, if you think about it. It's not like these poor slobs have any awful lot to cheer about these days. "Screw those capitalist Western pigs. Those puny countries have only one timezone. Even the Americans can only boast of 5. Mother Russia has 11. Who's the man now?" A spokesperson for Royal Observatory in Greenwich says it is not actually very difficult to go about changing a country's time zones. "The most important thing is to make sure that everyone knows about it. If that is done, there shouldn't be any problems whatsoever," he said. No problems whatsoever? Right. I'll believe it when I see it.

Sexual Harassment - Florida police say a man arrested for repeatedly calling 911 looking for sex claimed it was the only number he could dial after running out of cell phone minutes. So that rumor about 911 operators being hot and horny is true? You hear about such things as plots in adult movies, but never in a million years would I have imagined that there was something to this. Tampa police said the caller made sexual comments to the 911 dispatcher and asked if he could come to her house. Investigators say she hung up, but he called back four more times. You go, boyfriend. Everyone knows "no" really means "yes". He was arrested about 15 minutes later at his home and charged with making a false 911 call. The man reportedly told officers that he didn't think he would get in trouble for calling 911. Dude, you know that 911 calls are tracked from the source of the call, right? Didn't think this one all the way through did you, spark plug?

What Caught My Eye Today

China - An attempt to relieve a severe drought in China has apparently worked too well. This should be good. Meteorologists shot silver iodide into clouds near Beijing hoping to cause rain--but what they got instead was an 11-hour blizzard that buried the city in snow, stranding millions of commuters. Forgive me, I cannot resist...You know what they say--"when it rains, it pours." Still, the Weather Modification Office declared its action a success. There is an official government agency for this sort of thing? Scientists in other countries are skeptical saying that the effectiveness of cloud seeded is uncertain, because nobody can prove that it wouldn't have snowed or rained even without the silver iodide. Sounds like sour grapes to me. Why would the government invest in something that didn't work?

Ohio - Here's a novel approach to dealing with crime. Police in Columbus, Ohio have started telling crime-weary residents to move somewhere else. At least 20 residents told the City Council that when they called police about drug dealing and other crimes, the cops responded, "Why don't you move out if you don't like it." You have to admire their moxie, if nothing else. A spokesperson for the police department, said the police officers are suffering from overwork and frustration. I think the police are onto something here. If the residents don't like where they live anymore, they should look for someplace else to live. I hear there are lots of vacancies in Detroit.

Ethics - More than 30 members of Congress, including nearly half the members of the the House Appropriations Sub-Committee on Defense, are being scrutinized for possible ethics violations. I appreciate the fact that not all news is surprising, but this seems so obvious that it hardly seems to qualify as news. Several of the inquiries involve cases in which lawmakers provided legislation favorable to lobbyists who had given them campaign contributions. Again...duh. What motivation would lawmakers have to favors for lobbyists that didn't suck up to them? Should you be interested, at least 25 Democrats and 7 Republicans are under review.

India - Let's see what the 4-1-1 is on my favorite sub-continent. An Indian man is suing the makers of Axe body spray, claiming that in seven years of using the product he has yet to find a girlfriend. I do so love this country; so ripe with material. The 26-year old man says that Axe's racy marketing campaign lead him to believe the product had love-potion properties and is seeking $40,000 in damages. "The company cheated me," he said. "It says women will be attracted to you if you use Axe. I used it for seven years but no girl came to me." Already then. In no particular order, here are my gut reactions to this luckless soul. #1 - Dude, it's an advertisement. What did you expect them to say? #2 - Yeah, blame the body spray. That's problem. It's definitely not you. And finally, #3 - I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but from the sound of things, I'm not sure there is a potent enough love-potion in existence to help you out, bro'.

Poetry - Christopher Walken performs Lady Gaga's "Poker Face" as a spoken-word poem (click here). The funniest bit I have seen Walken do since the Cowbell skit on Saturday Night Live (click here). Judge for yourselves. Dude puts Lady Gaga's original to shame if you ask me.

What Caught My Eye Today

Ethiopia - Finally, Ethiopia has something to brag about that the rest of us don't have--a new ocean. Researchers now confirm that a 35-mile rift in the desert of Ethiopia that first appeared in 2005 will likely become a new ocean eventually. There's something you don't hear everyday. A new study finds the processes creating the rift are nearly identical to what goes on at the bottom of oceans, further indication a sea is in the region's future. Using newly gathered seismic data from 2005, researchers reconstructed the event to show the rift tore open along its entire 35-mile length in just days. Dabbahu, a volcano at the northern end of the rift, erupted first, then magma pushed up through the middle of the rift area and began "unzipping" the rift in both directions. The result shows that highly active volcanic boundaries along the edges of tectonic ocean plates may suddenly break apart in large sections, instead of in bits, as the leading theory held. And such sudden large-scale events on land pose a much more serious hazard to populations living near the rift than would several smaller events. I'm pretty sure that is geologist speak for "when this ocean thing goes down, you don't want to be anywhere near Ethiopia.

National Pride - Or in this case, lack thereof... A new Gallup poll suggests that some 700 million people worldwide, or more than all the adults of North and South America combined, think the grass is greener on the other side of the fence and want to permanently move to another country. Ordinarily, I would find this statement rather intriguing, but like some many other news stories, the headline is a bit deceiving. On average, 38% of the adult population in sub-Saharan Africa, or around 165 million people, said they would up stakes and head for another country if they had the chance. Gee whiz, that is a surprise. Who would have imagined that constant civil war and famine would be cause enough for people to want to re-locate? The most popular destination was the United States, where nearly a quarter of the 700 million -- around 165 million people -- said they would like to settle. Yeah, let's see how much they want to come here after they see the health care system that we have. In joint second were Britain, Canada and France, each being named as the preferred destination of around 45 million people. Thirty-five million said they would go to Spain, 30 million to Saudi Arabia, and 25 million each to Australia or Germany. How refreshing is it that not a single Scandinavian country is mentioned here? Seriously, those guys always seem to top lists like this. The least likely to want to emigrate were Asians -- only one in 10 Asian adults said they would move to another country. Makes sense. Being the most populous continent by a large margin over everywhere else, one would assume there is something desirable about staying put. I cannot for the life of me figure out what that might be, but what do I know.

Armageddon - This topic has always fascinated me. Not that I have a death wish or anything like that. I just find it help put all this other day-to-day nonsense in proper perspective. As you may know the latest prediction for the end of life as we know it is right around the corner in 2012 with the end of the Mayan calendar. Now before you start getting your affairs in order (or plan the life-ending bender), consider these previous doomsday predictions:

• The Prophet Hen of Leeds, 1806 -A hen in the English town of Leeds in 1806 appeared to be laying eggs on which the phrase "Christ is coming" was written. Many people became convinced that doomsday was at hand - until a curious local actually watched the hen laying one of the prophetic eggs and discovered someone had hatched a hoax.
  Don't you hate it when someone with half a brain spoils all of our paranoia by asked a dumb question like, "did someone actually check the eggs to see if anything was written on them?"
• The Millerites, April 23, 1843 - A New England farmer named William Miller, after several years of very careful study of his Bible, concluded that God's chosen time to destroy the world could be divined from a strict literal interpretation of scripture and determined the world would end some time between March 21, 1843 and March 21, 1844. When April 23 arrived (but Jesus didn't) the group eventually disbanded; some of them forming what is now the Seventh Day Adventists.
  Miss a prediction, start a religion. I'd say this dude did alright for himself.
• Halley's Comet, 1910 - In 1881, an astronomer discovered through spectral analysis that comet tails include a deadly gas called cyanogen (related, as the name implies, to cyanide). This was of only passing interest until someone realized that Earth would pass through the tail of Halley's comet in 1910. There was speculation that everyone on the planet would be bathed in deadly toxic gas, resulting in a widespread panic across the United States and abroad. Finally even-headed scientists explained that there was nothing to fear.
  Of course, before this revelation came up, the newspaper publishers that dreamt this rumor up had sold a whole heapload of papers to a very gullible public.
• Pat Robertson, 1982 - In May 1980, televangelist and Christian Coalition founder Pat Robertson startled and alarmed many when - contrary to Matthew 24:36 ("No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven...") he informed his "700 Club" TV show audience around the world that he knew when the world would end. "I guarantee you by the end of 1982 there is going to be a judgment on the world," Robertson said.
  And indeed there was judgement. The verdict: Those of you dumb enough to be dupped by this guy are guilty as charged for diluting the gene pool.
• Nostradamus, August 1999 - One of the most famous predictions of Michel de Nostrdam read, "The year 1999, seventh month / From the sky will come great king of terror." Many Nostradamus devotees grew concerned that this was the famed prognosticator's vision of Armageddon.
  That's just plain bunk. Everyone knows that the seventh month is July, not August. Duh.
• Y2K, Jan. 1, 2000 - As the last century drew to a close, many people grew concerned that computers might bring about doomsday. The problem, first noted in the early 1970s, was that many computers would not be able to tell the difference between 2000 and 1900 dates. No one was really sure what that would do, but many suggested catastrophic problems ranging from vast blackouts to nuclear holocaust. Gun sales jumped and survivalists prepared to live in bunkers, but the new millennium began with only a few glitches.
  Yeah, the poop didn't really hit the fan until 2001.
• May 5, 2000 - In case the Y2K bug didn't do us in, global catastrophe was assured by Richard Noone, author of the 1997 book "5/5/2000 Ice: the Ultimate Disaster." According to Noone, the Antarctic ice mass would be three miles thick by May 5, 2000 - a date in which the planets would be aligned in the heavens, somehow resulting in a global icy death.
  I'm assuming boy wonder didn't get the memo on global warming.

What Caught My Eye Today

Afghanistan - Try to keep up with me, this gets a bit confusing. Hamid Karzai has been re-elected as Afghanistan's president after a run-off vote was canceled. Afghanistan's government-appointed Independent Election Commission (IEC) called off the November 7 presidential run-off, a day after Karzai's only rival, former foreign minister Abdullah Abdullah, withdrew citing doubts it would be a fair vote. The commission was concerned a one-candidate race would raise concerns about the legitimacy of the presidency. Sure they were. Bear in mind that the reason for the run off election in the first place was the first vote results were deemed to be tainted by the aforementioned IEC. So basically, the dude that claimed foul in the first election got the run off he was looking for, but decided to quit the race, because he thought the results would be equally flawed in a second election. But that's not the weird part of this story. U.N. Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon, visiting Kabul today, congratulated Karzai as did U.S. President Barack Obama and British Prime Minister Gordon Brown. Let me see if I've got this right. Karzai wins the first election based on dubious--at best--results. Then dude is basically handed a second term after his sole opponent drops out of the race saying that nothing has been done to prevent the same thing from happening again. And then--and this is the head scratcher--the international community lines up to congratulate Karzai on his triumphant win. Seriously, what gives?

Catholicism - I'm torn between calling this latest ploy by the Catholic Church tactless or just plain desperate. Pope Benedict XVI announced that he would make it easier for Anglicans to convert to Catholicism. The Church of England split from Rome back in 1534, and the two denominations have kept an uneasy truce over the years. but the Anglican Church's recent acceptance of female priests and openly gay bishops has offended many traditionalists. the Vatican will now allow disaffected Anglicans to retain many of their customs--including allowing priests to marry--if they recognize the pope as their supreme leader. Of course, those of us that have been loyal Catholics throughout, don't receive any of these courtesies, but that's a separate discussion. Dude, you are pandering for followers. Where's your pride, man? You know what? I'm not torn anymore. This announcement is both tactless and desperate. As a brief sidebar, I came across an article about Nones--people who say "None" when asked their religious affiliation--and the fact that a growing number of the population (almost 15%) aren't merely rejecting religion, they aren't thinking about it at all. I can see why.

Randomness - Turns out the executive decision maker--also know as the ubiquitous "coin toss"--isn't all that impartial after all. Researchers found that a coin flip favors whichever side of the coin was facing up when the flip was initiated, landing on that side as much as 60% of the time. I knew it! There is no way I could have lost all those "decisions" based solely on chance. No one has luck that lousy.

Juris Prudence - Here's another example of taxpayer dollars hard at work keeping the wheels of justice turning. Parents: you may want to send the children out of the room for this one; it isn't pretty. A Florida man failed to win compensation for a "defective" pair of underwear. The man claimed in his lawsuit that over a two-week vacation in Hawaii, the fly flap of his briefs rubbed his genitals like "sandpaper belts." His words, not mine. But wait, it gets better. When asked by the judge why he didn't notice sooner, the 285-pound man said he cannot see his own genitals, and he didn't ask his wife to look because it might "ruin her vacation." I've re-read this story a couple of times, and it seems to get funnier every time.