What Caught My Eye Today

Samoa - Samoa became the first nation in more than 30 years to switch its driving from one side of the road to the other -- without a single accident. Good for them. At 5:50a.m. the Police Minister made a radio announcement for motorists to stop and then ten minutes later at 6:00a.m. the Prime Minister came on the air ordering all cars to switch sides from right to left; then ten minutes later at 6:10a.m., a final announcement was made to resume driving. The switch was made to bring Samoa in line with the traffic flow in Australia and New Zealand. Seriously, I think credit should be given where credit is due. I say bravo to all three drivers in Samoa for making the transition from right to left in such a seamless manner.

Iran - Iran's president said he is proud to stoke international outrage with his latest remarks denying the Holocaust as he heads for the United Nations this week. Of course he is. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad takes the world stage with a speech later this week to the U.N. General Assembly. Ahmadinejad appears to relish the controversy. Of course he does. This will be his fifth appearance at the annual General Assembly since his first election in 2005. In past years, he has used his U.N. visits to bolster his credentials as a figure of resistance to Israel and American domination — an image that he believes plays well among his conservative supporters in Iran. I'm curious why the U.N. General Assembly continues to allow Ahmadinejad such a platform when it knows full well the nonsense that he is likely to spew. I appreciate that the U.N. has to give all of its members a chance to voice their views on international matters, but this is akin to giving someone a microphone so they can yell "Fire" in a theater just to get a rise out of the crowd.

China - China's military now possesses most of the sophisticated weapon systems found in the arsenals of developed Western nations, the country's defense minister said. "This is an extraordinary achievements that speaks to the level of our military's modernization and the huge change in our country's technological strength." Boy was I way off on this one. I figured dude was going to say something to the effect of, "We've spent billions of yuan and our weapons still suck...which is surprising since its all made in China." However, it would appear that I may not be the only one who views these claims with some skepticism. Some analysts say the claim was likely directed at the Chinese public and exaggerated its technological prowess. No no. That's not possible.

Afghanistan - Police officials from some of Afghanistan's most violent regions questioned the need for more American troops, saying it would increase the perception the U.S. is an occupying power and the money would be better spent on local forces. These guys are worried about a perception problem now? I'm thinking the fact that we've been there for 8 years might have more to do with
the locals view the U.S. as an occupying power. The police were responding to an assessment from General Stanley McChrystal, the top U.S. and NATO commander in Afghanistan, that warned the war was getting worse and could be lost without more troops. President Barack Obama earlier this year approved sending 21,000 more troops to Afghanistan, bringing the total number of U.S. forces to 68,000 by the end of 2009. McChrystal is expected to ask for more troops in coming weeks, but increasing the number risks alienating Afghans, the police officials said. Lucky for Obama, the Afghans are the only ones who have reservations about sending more American troops to fight in a conflict that seems to have no end.

What Caught My Eye Today

Rest in Peace - Patrick Swayze, star of "Dirty Dancing" and "Ghost," died Monday after a battle with pancreatic cancer. He was 57. Both good movies, but for my money "Roadhouse" and "Point Break" were my Swayze flicks. You'll be missed.

Colombia - I don't wish ill on anyone, but it is nice to be reminded of the fact that we all put our pants on one leg at a time and anyone can catch the flu. Colombian President Alvar Uribe has swine flu and and to seek medical attention while attending a town council meeting. His case is mild but concerns have been raised that Uribe may have infected other leaders from the region. He was diagnosed just after returning from a South American summit in Argentina, where he met with 11 other national leaders. I guess that flu vaccine isn't quite ready yet, is it.

Italy - I preface this next story by assuring you that the humor in this story is not directed at the religion. The Italian sports world is debating where devout Muslims make reliable soccer players. Are you serious? The controversy began when the coach of Inter Milan benched one of his players who had been fasting all day for the Muslim holy month of Ramadan. Italian Muslims were outraged, and their anger grew when the owner of another Italian team said he simply wouldn't sign players who observe Ramadan. You would think after everything that the world has gone through over the millenia, that we would have learned a little something about religious tolerance. But no. Instead the fine folks at FIFA had to commission an expert panel to make a statement. Medical experts from FIFA, the world soccer body, to announce that "no serious scientific study" had ever shown a decrease in player performance due to Ramadan fasting. Religion aside, I think it's pretty much common knowledge that if you don't eat, your energy level will be somewhat diminished; and I'm pretty certain that's the case regardless of your religious affiliation. My point here, is that if a soccer player is not performing as well as they can (for whatever reason), being benched is a reasonable response. If the dude was playing at the same level during Ramadan as he was for the rest of the season, I doubt he would have found himself on the bench. As for that rocket scientist who won't sign players because of their religious practices, that dude is a moron, plain and simple.

South Africa - I'm not sure I can top this story with any additional commentary...so I'm not even going to try. Tests show that controversial runner Caster Semenya is a woman ...and a man. The 18-year-old South African champ has no womb or ovaries and her testosterone levels are more than three times higher than those of a normal female, according to reports. The tests, ordered by The International Association of Athletics Federations after Semenya's 800-meter victory in the World Championships, determined she's a hermaphrodite - having both male and female organs. Semenya could be stripped of the gold medal she won in Berlin last month and her competitive future is in limbo, according to Australia's Daily Telegraph. The athletics governing body is also expected to advise her to have surgery to fix the potentially deadly condition. Seriously, how do you top a story like that.

Sports - I mean the normal headlines; not the weirdness of the previous two items.

Tennis - There's an old sports adage that goes like this..."that's why you play the game". You need look no further than the U.S. Open for proof of this. Kim Clijsters came of a two year retirement (and the birth of a beautiful daughter), played a couple of warm up tournaments then went on to win the women's single title--her second Grand Slam. Her effort was made a bit easier by the fact that most of the top seeds crashed out of the tournament in the first week and by Serena Williams taking temporary leave of her senses and getting disqualified from her semifinal match against Clijsters. Meanwhile, things were going a bit more according to script on the men's side of the draw. Roger Federer was playing for his sixth consecutive U.S. Open title...and then he lost. Juan Martin del Potro of Argentina beat R-Fed in 5 sets.

Golf - Then again, some things never seem to change. Tiger Woods won his 71st tournament this past weekend at the BMW Championships, almost guaranteeing that he will win a second Fed Ex Cup. Actually, he won it on Saturday, by shooting a course record 62 and taking a 7 stroke lead into the final round on Sunday. For the record, he ended up winning by 8 strokes.

What Caught My Eye Today

Fiji - If I've said this once, I've said it a thousand times--You don't mess with the Queen. Girlfriend doesn't take crap from nobody. The Commonwealth has fully suspended Fiji after it refused to bow to demands to call elections by next year. Yes, I know. The Queen probably didn't make the decision on her own, but I bet she voiced her opinion on the topic. Commodore Frank Bainimarama seized power in Fiji in a 2006 coup and has said elections can only be reinstated in 2014, as part of his "roadmap". He says he needs time to institute reforms that will end the ethnic-based voting system tipped in favour of ethnic Fijians. In other words, dude needs time to figure out how he can ensure that he wins the election--whenever it happens to take place. Fiji has already been suspended from the regional Pacific Islands Forum, and some European Union aid to the country has been put on hold. In practical terms it means Fiji cannot attend any Commonwealth meetings, including taking part in the Commonwealth Games in 2010, or participate in training schemes and other technical aid. So this is serious right? The Commonwealth admitted that it was not a large donor to Fiji and the sanction is largely symbolic. I see. So the Commonwealth is basically the English version of the United Nations. Isn't that lovely?

Bangladesh - As if this poor nation didn't have enough to deal with. Now it is the victim of satire. Two Bangladeshi newspapers have apologized after publishing an article taken from the satirical U.S. website, the Onion, which claimed the Moon landings were faked. The Daily Manab Zamin said U.S. astronaut Neil Armstrong had shocked a news conference by saying he now knew it had been an "elaborate hoax". The made-up quote said that although the journey had felt real, in fact "the entire thing was filmed on a sound stage, most likely in New Mexico. I suppose it really was one small step for man, one giant lie for mankind." Dude, it was so totally a hoax. That footage that was mistakenly taped over a few months ago by NASA? How obvious of a cover up is that. But seriously, I'm not so sure that I would rely on the Onion a a trusted news source. A hilarious source of news, yes; a trusted news source, perhaps not.

The Internet - This next item caught my attention in that it explores the various ways that one could break the Internet.

• Take up fishing: Nets pulling up undersea cables are the single biggest cause of Internet breakages
• Grab a hacksaw: Follow the lead of vandals near Santa Clara, California who cut through underground fiber-optic wires, halting all service to the area.
• Pray for an underwater earthquake: Preferably, a repeat of the quake that took down cables carrying 75% of Internet traffic between Europe and the Middle East in December, 2008.
• Become the head of ICANN: Once in charge of the Internet Corporation for Assigned Names and Numbers (the organization that coordinates the global system of IP addresses) you can redirect traffic at will.
• Break into an Internet Data Center: There are thousands of centers housing computer servers in the United States alone. Take your pick and get mischievous.
• Sabotage a few boats: Internet providers lease fleets equipped to located and repair broken cables. Stop the ships and you stop the fix.
• Wait 29 years: On Jan 19, 2038, the internal clock for Unix will overflow, Y2K style.
• Train sharks: Shark have been known to gnaw through a few cables.

Is it just me or is anyone else scratching their head over the fact that this sort of information is being freely distributed to the public almost as a joke? What's next, a public service announcement on building a do-it-yourself improvised explosive device?

What Caught My Eye Today

World War II - So where were you 70 years ago today? On a wind-swept peninsula where shells lobbed from a German battleship ignited World War II 70 years ago. Poland's leaders marked the hour the German battleship Schleswig-Holstein shelled a tiny Polish military outpost housing the navy's arsenal. It was the war's opening salvo. As much of a history buff as I claim to be, I have to confess, I did not know that this was the first battle of the war. The blitzkrieg on Poland launched nearly six years of war that engulfed the world and left more than 50 million people dead as the German war machine rolled over Europe. European leaders vowed never to forget the lessons of the 20th century's bloodiest conflict. I don't know about you, but I've got all my fingers and toes crossed and rubbed every lucky rabbit foot that I could find hoping that these leaders don't merely not forget those lessons, but actually learn something from the war that will help them avoid another such conflict.

Libya - Okay, if 70 years is too far back for you to remember, how about 40 years ago? Libya celebrated the 40th anniversary of the coup that brought Colonel Moammar Gadhafi to power with a parade, lavish dance spectacles and fighter jets streaking overhead. I'll get back to the story in a moment, but here's something rather curious to ponder. Most of the success coups that I've read about result in a general assuming leadership of the nation. Yet here we have a lowly Colonel calling the shots. You would think that after 40 years, Gadhafi would have given himself a promotion by now. I'm just saying. Gadhafi came to power with a military coup in 1969, and was ostracized for decades over accusations of supporting international terrorism. More recently, Gadhafi has tried to restore his country's standing in the world and transform it from a pariah state to a member of the international community. Gadhafi surprised the world by agreeing to dismantle his country's weapons of mass destruction programs. Despite Gadhafi's attempts to restore his international reputation, human rights groups say he has failed to grant Libyans greater freedoms and rights. I think we can all agree that Libya's behavior has improved markedly over the past couple of years, but after 40 years of being a "pariah" it's not terribly surprising that the international community is looking upon Libya with suspicious eyes. Maybe when Gadhafi celebrates his 80th anniversary, if Libya is still playing nice with the other kiddies in the sandbox, we'll be willing to cut the country a bit more slack.

Child Welfare - The Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development has released a survey showing that America has some of the industrial world's worst rates of infant mortality, teenage pregnancy and child poverty, even though it spends more per child than better-performing countries such as Switzerland, Japan and the Netherlands. I'm sure it isn't that bad. Honestly, these countries always top these sorts of lists. Infant mortality in the U.S. is the fourth-worst in the OECD after Mexico, Turkey and Slovakia. American 15-year-olds rank seventh from the bottom on the OECD's measure of average educational achievement. Child poverty rates in the U.S. are nearly double the OECD average, at 21.6% compared to 12.4%. Okay, perhaps I am mistaken...it really is that bad. Pity. It just goes to show that while you have the "most" there is no guarantee that you have the "best". Of course, we're not the only ones with problems. Britain is plagued by high underage drinking and teenage pregnancy rates. British teen drunkenness top the charts at 33%, far above the OECD average of 20% and the 12% rate recorded in the U.S. That's because their booze is better than ours.

Iran - Iran's top nuclear negotiator offered an opening for possible compromise with the West, saying the Islamic regime is ready to hold talks with world powers over its nuclear program. But? One can only assume when talking about Iran there must be a "but". But Iranian lawmakers also sent a message of defiance to the world community — displaying strong support for President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's nominee for defense minister even though he is wanted by Argentina for the bombing of a Jewish community center in 1994 that killed 85 people. And there you have it. Leave it to Ahmadinejad to go and screw up the works again. Western nations and others worry Iran is moving toward development of nuclear warheads. But Iranian leaders say the country only seeks reactors to produce electricity. President Barack Obama has given Iran a deadline of the end of September to agree to nuclear talks or risk harsher sanctions. Last year, Iran was offered economic incentives in exchange for suspending uranium enrichment, but Iran's leaders responded by saying they would never give up control of the production of nuclear fuel. My guess is that Iran is trying to work its way out of a bluff as gracefully as possible. Still I'm with the rest of the world on this one. I'll believe Iran's motives when there are tangible actions on Tehran's part to back them up.

What Caught My Eye Today

Wild Fires - Maybe it is just me, but I'm pretty sure this same deal happened in both California and Greece around this same time last year. A deadly wildfire that has blackened a wide swath of tinder-dry forest around Los Angeles made another menacing advance, surging toward thousands of suburban homes and a vital mountaintop broadcasting complex. Dude, this better not affect my ability to text and tweet. If that happens, I'm telling you, the gloves are definitely coming off. The flames have scorched 134 square miles of brush and threaten 12,000 homes. The blaze has also killed two firefighters, destroyed at least 21 homes and forced thousands of evacuations. The firefighters died when their truck drove off the side of a road with flames all around them. And if that isn't bad enough, this isn't even the most destructive fire in the state. The blaze in the Los Angeles foothills is the biggest but not most destructive of California's wildfires. Northeast of Sacramento, a fire destroyed 60 structures over the weekend, many of them homes in the town of Auburn.

And then there is Greece...

Wildfires burned out of control in the forests of Athens' northern suburbs for four days before firefighters contained them. The fires were the most destructive in decades in the Attica region and the worst in Greece since the devastating fires of 2007. Oops, so I was off by a year.

Thought we were done? Guess again...

Officials in the Australian state of Victoria introduced a "mega-fire" alert level that will warn people to flee approaching wildfires and leave homes undefended as unseasonal winter bushfires point to a searing summer ahead. Mega-fires form when several fires join up in a huge front, creating their own weather systems with hurricane strength winds driving storms of burning embers and walls of flame. That sounds bad. No, on second thought, make that mega-bad. You know, Mother Nature seems like she's got her knickers in a bunch over something. It's like she's blaming us for all those environmental issues (you know, like global warming and that big pile of junk in the middle of the Pacific Ocean). Totally unwarranted if you ask me--the planet could have warmed up all by itself. Sure we nudged it along a bit, but honestly girlfriend, you need to chill with all this fire stuff. It's not good for your complexion.

Turkey & Armenia - Turkey and its neighbor Armenia have moved closer to establishing diplomatic ties after decades of bitter mistrust on both sides. I'm not sure many folks in the U.S. appreciate just how big of a deal this is...or care. Fear not, that's why I'm here--to break it all down for you. Negotiations on the mending of ties have been brokered by Switzerland. Naturally. And as an added bonus, this may give the Swiss a welcome bit of good publicity after all the bad PR it has been enduring regarding its questionable bank secrecy laws. The two countries' dispute centers on the fate of Armenians under Turkish Ottoman rule nearly a century ago. Turkey has resisted widespread calls for it to recognize the mass killing of Armenians during World War I as an act of genocide. Interesting how the butchering of hundreds of thousands of your people can put a damper on relations with your neighbor. Relations have also been complicated by Turkish support for Azerbaijan in its armed conflict with Armenia over the disputed territory of Nagorno-Karabakh. Hmm. Turkey certainly doesn't seem interested in taking the path of least resistance does it. Maybe--and I just blue skying here--the Turks should take a look at how successful the U.S.'s strategy of picking sides in a conflict--that one could argue it shouldn't be meddling with in the first place--has been. That plan to pit Iran against Iraq and vice versa? Yeah, that's worked out real well for us.

Afghanistan - A top US general in Afghanistan has called for a revised military strategy, suggesting the current one is failing. The heck you say. Sources say General Stanley McChrystal sees protecting the Afghan people against the Taliban as the top priority. Seriously, where is all this nonsense coming from? The general's blunt assessment will say that the Afghan people are undergoing a crisis of confidence because the war against the Taliban has not made their lives better. The general goes on to say the aim should be for Afghan forces to take the lead; but their army will not be ready to do that for three years and it will take much longer for the police. Let's see here. We have a war that seems to be dragging out without much meaningful progress, a crisis of confidence from a civilian population that continues to get stuck in the cross-fire, and a domestic army that won't be ready to defend its population for at least the foreseeable future. Where have I heard this before?

What Caught My Eye Today

President Bush - It is a well-known fact that I'm not a huge fan of the 43rd President, so I'm as surprised as anyone to find myself defending him (it's a world gone mad, I tell you). Former Vice President Dick Cheney is working on a memoir of his time in President George W. Bush's administration. In it, Cheney accuses Bush of "going soft". Aides to Cheney say the former vice president simply cannot stay quiet about what he considers to the "moral weakness" of the administration's second term. Yeah, Cheney is one to talk about morality. Read on... In suspending the use of torture, seeking congressional approval for domestic surveillance, and refusing to pardon Lewis "Scooter" Libby, Bush, in Cheney's view, made "concessions to public sentiment" that revealed the president as just "an ordinary politician." I do my best to keep the content on this blog suitable for all ages, bit in this case, I'm going to make an exception. Mr. Cheney, your name suits you well, because you are, without a doubt, the biggest dick in the history of dickdom. How nice it must be for you to sit on the sidelines and criticize those how had the courage to admit that the policies they implemented needed to be changed, you pompous douche.

Okay, sorry about that. Let's move on shall we.

Africa - Eritrea and Ethiopia mush pay each other millions of dollars in compensation for damages arising for their 1989-2000 border war. The terms of the deal are rather interesting. An international tribunal calculated the total property damage on both sides and ruled that Ethiopia owes $164 million to Eritrea and that Eritrea owes Ethiopia $174 million. No need to break out the calculator. Basically Eritrea has to cut a $10 million check to Ethiopia. Eritrea has agreed to pay the debt. Isn't that nice. Does it seem odd to anyone, besides me, that war reparations for an 11 year conflict amount to less than $1 million a year?

France - Admittedly, I mock the French a fair bit. It's nothing personal; it merely amuses me. On this particular occasion, I'm going to do the exact opposite and tip my cap to them. Under an new government proposal, French tourists in hostile or unstable countries will have to reimburse the treasury for rescuing them. The proposed law would require travelers to cover the costs incurred in rescuing them from war zones, hostage-takings, and other dangerous situations. Diplomats, reporters, aid workers and business travelers would be exempt from the fees. I'm totally with the government on this one. Why should taxpayer money be spent rescuing tourists who are either too stupid or too reckless to stay out of war zones? If you are dumb enough to walk into a situation where people are shooting at each other (with real bullets, mind you) I say, "Good luck with that, spark plug. Send me a postcard."

Drugs - A study conducted by the U.S. Drug Enforcement Agency found that 85% to 95% of all bills circulating in the U.S. and Canada contain traces of cocaine, up form 67% in 2007. Like that surprises anyone.

Sports - Two items of note this past weekend...and only one has to do with cricket.

Cricket - The English won the Ashes! The English won the Ashes! The English won the Ashes! (Fred's Note: Baseball fans may catch the reference, otherwise just keep reading). After the better part of two months, the English national cricket team claimed victory over Australia in the best of five test bi-annual tournament...finally. For the record, 64 Ashes series have been played, with Australia winning 30 and England 29. The remaining five series were drawn, with Australia retaining the Ashes four times. And with that we close the book on cricket until 2011...or until my man, Rod turns me onto another worthy cricket tournament.

Golf - The ladies contested their version of the Ryder Cup--the Solheim Cup--this past weekend. The bi-annual team competition pits the U.S. against Europe and in a year where the U.S. team was heavily favored, they did not disappoint. They retained the Solheim Cup with a score of 16-12. The Americans have won the Cup 8 of the 11 times the event has been held. Interestingly enough, an American woman has not won an LPGA event so far in 2009.

Tennis - Apparently, this is really happened...though I remain a bit skeptical. A North Carolina woman is suing the city of Raleigh, North Carolina because no men will play tennis win her. The plaintiff says she was so routinely beating male opponents in the city-sponsored tennis league that the city scrapped a rule that penalized players for declining matches. The women wants $10,000 for her emotional distress. For the sake of argument, let's assume this is a legitimate story. While I am against frivolous lawsuits (seriously, where is the emotional distress is kicking the crap out of the opposite sex on a tennis court?), in principle I have to side with the player. Girlfriend was playing by the rules. Is it her fault that the guys sucked. The only thing city officials should have done was suggest that the men work on their serves a bit more.

What Caught My Eye Today

President Obama - President Barack Obama is officially taking a one week vacation when he heads to Martha's Vineyard. When you are talking about the leader of the free world, I guess this would sort of qualify as a "stay-cation," right? A long "to do" list -- two wars, worldwide recession and a host of legislative battles in store when he gets back, most notably the struggle over reforming the U.S. health system -- will make it hard for him to relax and disconnect. Sorry dude, you won't get any sympathy from me. We all have "stuff" to deal with. Sure, your "stuff" affects millions, sometimes, billions of people, but my "stuff" sucks too. The administration says Obama is doing only what other presidents, and many other Americans, do: taking a needed break during a busy year in a place that suits his family. The White House stresses that Obama is footing the bill himself -- estimated at $25,000 or more -- for the 28-acre (Blue Heron farm he is renting for the trip. Seriously, is the White House looking to give the President a medal. Last time I checked, most working stiffs had to pay for their vacation accommodations. Why should the President have it any different from the rest of us. Besides, $25,000? That's what, a single royalty check for this guy?

Afghanistan - The Afghans held themselves a presidential election this week, and as far as I can tell, everybody who ran for the position won. President Hamid Karzai and top challenger Abdullah Abdullah positioned themselves as the likely winner of Afghanistan's presidential election, one day after millions of Afghans braved Taliban threats and intimidation to cast ballots. Assuming we do at some point arrive at a single winner, what awaits this lucky chap? The next president faces an agenda filled with crises: rising insurgent violence, rampant corruption and a huge narcotics trade. Sounds lovely, don't it? Millions of Afghans defied threats to cast ballots, but turnout appeared weaker than the previous vote in 2004 because of violence, fear and disenchantment. U.S. officials had hoped for a wide turnout as a symbolic rejection of the insurgency. The voting was seen partly as a test of the ability of U.S. forces to protect civilians — the new top military priority — and the willingness of voters to accept that help. U.S. officials had hoped for a wide turnout as a symbolic rejection of the insurgency. A top election official told The Associated Press he estimated 40% to 50% of the country's 15 million registered voters cast ballots — far lower than the 70% who voted in the presidential election in 2004. I don't know that this turnout is necessarily a bad thing. After all, everything is relative. In a good year (actually, an exceptional year), the U.S. barely cracks 50% voter turnout, and we've been at this democracy thing a lot longer than the Afghan people.

Libya - Perhaps the folks in Tripoli could benefit from a little sensitivity training...or at the very least, pay a visit to the local proctologist to pull their heads out of their you-know-whats. The release of the only man convicted of blowing up a Pan Am flight in 1988 has brought high drama and controversy: the jeering mob outside a Scottish prison, the cheering crowd at a Tripoli airport, the furious families of the 270 people who died in the Lockerbie bombing. Britain on Friday condemned the "upsetting" scenes of jubilation in Tripoli at the return of Abdel Baset al-Megrahi and considered canceling a royal visit to Libya as a sign of displeasure. President Barack Obama said the warm welcome in Libya was "highly objectionable." By Libyan standards, al-Megrahi's welcome was relatively muted. Are you kidding me? It was an unusually low-key approach for a country that used to snap up any opportunity to snub the West and could easily bring out hundreds of thousands to cheer if it chose to. The guy was responsible for blowing up a plane with 270 people on it. That's not the sort of thing that warrants a ticker tape parade. I suppose the one thing we can all take some solace in is the fact that this jerk has terminal cancer and probably won't live but a few more months. Of course by then, a memorial statue may have been erected in his honor.

Chile - Chile said that tests show swine flu has jumped to birds, opening a new chapter in the global epidemic. Oh good, another chapter. After all, this has been such an exciting "read" so far. Chile's health ministry said it ordered a quarantine for two turkey farms outside the port city of Valparaiso after genetic tests confirmed sick birds were afflicted with the same virus that has caused a pandemic among humans. So far, the virus — a mixture of human, pig and bird genes — has proved to be very contagious but no more deadly than common seasonal flu. However, virus experts fear a more dangerous and easily transmitted strain could emerge if it combines again with avian flu, which is far more deadly but tougher to pass along. I hate be a naysayer--being a wise-ass is so much more my speed--but I have a feeling that the upcoming flu season in the Northern Hemisphere is going to--pardon the pun--blow chow in a big way.

Cricket - That's right my friends, it's time for the final act of the Ashes...thank goodness. For those of you who may have forgotten, the Ashes is a bi-annual cricket tournament between Australia and England consisting of 5 tests. In recent years, Australia has had England's number, but this year has been remarkably competitive with two draws and a win a piece. My man on the ground, Rod, has been doing his best to enlighten me on the finer points of this sport. Alas, being the simpleton that I am, Rod has not had much success. So here is the latest news at the close of the second day of the final test: Fifteen wickets tumbled on a hectic day which finished with England 58 for three in their second innings, a lead of 230 runs, after Australia had collapsed to 160 all out. I think that means England is winning, but after well over a month of following this competition, I can say in all honesty -- I don't have clue.

What Caught My Eye Today

Afghanistan - Threats of Taliban violence and rumors of fraud cast a shadow over Afghanistan's election, in which millions of voters will choose a new president to lead a nation plagued by armed insurgency, drugs, corruption and a feeble government. I don't mean to make light of a serious situation (yeah, right), but how is that any different from the job that that Obama guy won last November? International officials predict an imperfect outcome for a vote that they hope Afghans will accept as credible. Always a safe strategy--set the bar so low that any outcome will be viewed as a success. Heck, I play that card with my boss on a daily basis. President Hamid Karzai, who has held power since the Taliban was ousted eight years ago, is favored to finish first among 36 official candidates. Thirty-six candidates? Admittedly, I am an underachiever, but who in their right mind would want this job?

Norway - Norway's ambassador to the United Nations has accused Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon of weak, ineffective and at times counterproductive leadership during recent crises. I'd expect that sort language from the likes of...well, the United States comes to mind, but Norway? What up with that? The letter comes just days before Ban visits Norway, an advocate of active multilateral diplomacy which has worked with the United Nations on a number of peace initiatives including the now collapsed Oslo accords between Israel and the Palestinians. Way to roll out the old welcome mat, guys. The letter said said Ban had failed to make the United Nations a relevant voice during the financial crisis; that Ban was a mere "passive observer" after Myanmar's arrest of opposition leader Aung Sang Suu Kyi and that his visit there to meet hardline generals was "fruitless"; that Ban was "helpless" in trying to curb atrocities during the end of the civil war in Sri Lanka earlier this year; and that in other "crisis areas" such as Darfur, Somalia, Pakistan, Zimbabwe and Congo, Ban's "passive and not very committed appeals seem to fall on deaf ears. Dude, that's harsh. Completely spot on, but harsh nevertheless.

This next item, probably isn't going to make Ban any more popular with the Norwegians.

Zimbabwe - According to the United Nations, the "humanitarian situation remains serious" in Zimbabwe amid cholera, starvation and a continuing economic crisis. Cholera thrives in areas without clean water and proper sanitation, and the United Nations has said 6 million people in Zimbabwe -- more than half the population -- have limited or no access to safe water and sanitation in rural and urban areas. It also estimates more than 5 million in the nation face starvation. Now here's the kicker. All this stuff is going down despite the fact that Zimbabwe is one of the few nations in Africa not dealing with an armed conflict. So basically, even under the best conditions that one could hope for in a situation like this, the U.N. finds itself unable to make any meaningful progress to deal with these issues. You know, maybe the Norwegians are onto something here.

Mortality - It's the headline that amuses me most. "CDC says life expectancy in U.S. up, deaths not." The U.S. life expectancy has risen to a new high, now standing at nearly 78 years. The increase is due mainly to falling death rates in almost all the leading causes of death. Isn't that a bit redundant? Honestly, it seems to me rather obvious that if people are living longer, then death rates would have to be falling. Am I missing something here? The United States continues to lag behind about 30 other countries in estimated life span. Japan has the longest life expectancy — 83 years. Heart disease and cancer together are the cause of nearly half of U.S. fatalities. The death rate from heart disease dropped nearly 5%, the cancer death rate nearly 2%, and the HIV death rate dropped 10%. Progress has been made; of that there is no doubt. But just because people are living longer doesn't necessarily mean that they are happy about it. Bear with me on this one. If the day comes that my plumbing cannot function without a good deal of help (and that day will come), I'm not so sure that I'll be in the mood to celebrate the fact that I'll have to deal with that for several years. I know it's easy to say this now (most of my body parts are still fully functional), but I'm thinking once the pipe start leaking (or worse yet get completely clogged up), I'm not sure that I'll be that eager to call in the Roto-Rooter guys.

What Caught My Eye Today

Golf - What is the only headline that could trump Tiger Woods winning his 15th major championship? How about Tiger Woods not winning his 15th major championship? Dude had a two stroke heads going into the final round of the PGA Championship and ended up losing by 3-strokes to 101st ranked Y. E. Yang from South Korea. To be fair, Tiger could not buy a putt on Sunday and this dude Yang played probably the round of his life, but still, Tiger was 14-0 in closing the deal on a major when leading on Sunday, so, yeah, this was a bit of a surprise to pretty much everyone but Mr. Yang.

Cuba - I don't like to laugh at the expense of someone else's hardship, but you have to admit, the circumstances here are rather amusing. Cuba, in the grip of a serious economic crisis, is running short of toilet paper and may not get sufficient supplies until the end of the year. Cuba both imports toilet paper and produces its own, but does not currently have enough raw materials to make it. Here's my favorite part. "The corporation has taken all the steps so that at the end of the year there will be an important importation of toilet paper," an official said on state-run radio. Important? I should say so. I don't think I'm alone in thinking when I'm done doing my thing, there is pretty much nothing that ranks higher up on my list of priorities than finishing up the paperwork; and you cannot do that if you don't have any paper to work with. I'm just saying.

Dance - Former Republican Majority Leader Tom DeLay will join 15 celebrities from the worlds of entertainment and sports in kicking up their heels on the new season of "Dancing With the Stars. Huh? Why would he subject himself to this sort of ridicule? You would think that he would have gotten his fill of embarrassment from being a U.S. Congressman. Other hopefuls include entertainer Donny Osmond; singers Mya, Macy Gray and Aaron Carter; actors Melissa Joan Hart, Debi Mazar and Ashley Hamilton (son of George); models Joanna Krupa and Kathy Ireland; reality stars Kelly Osbourne and Mark Dacascos ("the Chairman" on Food Network's "Iron Chef America"); mixed martial artist Chuck Liddell; professional snowboarder Louie Vito; Olympic swimmer Natalie Coughlin; and former Dallas Cowboys wide receiver Michael Irvin. My money is on Michael Irvin and Donny Osmond for the guys and Joanna Krupa and Natalie Coughlin for the gals to make the finals. And you might as well give the trophy to Irvin now. Those football players have quite the following...though I haven't the faintest idea why.

India - Here's a disturbing bit of news--though, I suppose not altogether surprising.Few outsiders realize that India has its own Hindu version of the Taliban. Extremist Hindu authorities known as khap panchayats act like parliaments unto themselves, enforcing Hindu orthodoxy through "honor killings" and other severe punishments. Their decree that every woman must bear at least two sons is behind much of the selective abortion and female infanticide in India. Khaps have existed in northwestern India for centuries and some are known to control thousands of villages. What is it with all these religious interpretations that appear to throw women under the proverbial bus? Seriously, I'm beginning to wonder if all these guys that are making up these rules (I can only assume that the authorities are mostly male) are making up for crappy childhoods and lashing out as a result of some sort of maternal neglect.

And while we are on the subject...

Psychology - We learn more from failure than success, says the old aphorism. Obviously this aphorism was the product of some loser's imagination. A new study out of the Massachuetts Institute of Technology suggests that this is simply not true. Researchers trained monkeys to turn their heads left or right depending on which image from a set of pictures was shown. When the monkeys chose correctly, they received a reward. The study found that when the monkeys made the right choices, the neurons involved in learning and discrimination were very active. According to the researchers, success breeds success, because the rewards it produces raise attention levels. Oh great, another aphorism. That aside, I believe the gist of this study suggests that doing things correctly tends to be rewarded. Given that positive reinforcement, people tend to try to do things correctly more often. They needed a study to figure this out?

What Caught My Eye Today

Global Economy - What you are about to read is not a typo. It is indeed a story about good news regarding the global economy. The French and German economies both grew by 0.3% between April and June, bringing to an end year-long recessions in Europe's largest economies. Stronger exports and consumer spending, as well as government stimulus packages, contributed to the growth. The data came as a surprise, with few analysts expecting Germany and France to start to recover so soon. I'm pretty sure this is going to come off as rather petty of me--so be it--but I regard this as yet another reason to really, really not like the French. Economic activity in the eurozone fell by 0.1%, showing the region as a whole is still in recession. Yeah, I'm sure France and Germany are going to be real popular with the rest of Europe.

Healthcare Reform - No doubt, those of you who follow the news have been following the rather heated debates about the proposed healthcare reforms coming out of Washington. I haven't commented on this story sooner because, frankly, there's been enough coverage without me piling on even more. But when the story warrants "pearls of wisdom" from our good friend Sarah Palin, I feel a responsibility to comment. Sarah Palin refused to retreat from her debunked claim that a proposed health care overhaul would create "death panels." Palin argued that the elderly and ailing would be coerced into accepting minimal end-of-life care to reduce health care costs based on the Democratic bill in the House. You go, girl. Show those socialist pigs in Washington that we're not going to allow them to "pull the plug" on us. But there will be no "death panels" under the legislation being considered. In fact, the provision in the bill would allow Medicare to pay doctors for voluntary counseling sessions that address end-of-life issues. To the unsuspecting observer, this might suggest that Palin may not have her facts straight and may be overreacting. Poopy gook! This is just another liberal conspiracy attempting to portray Palin as a blowhard dullard. Of course, you have to admit that it is a pretty good conspiracy (either that or Palin is more of a simpleton than any of us gave her credit for).

Iran - Three independent United Nations human rights experts have accused Iran of torturing confessions from detainees charged with fomenting political unrest. Iranian officials have denied the allegations. I'm not sure which shocks me more--that Iran is denying the allegations or that the United Nations has finally acknowledged something that the rest of the world has known for months. Let's call it a draw, shall we? The treatment of detainees at Iran's prisons has increasingly become a divisive issue within Iran's Islamic leadership, as reformists continue to accuse the hardline government of allowing abuse and torture in attempts to coerce false confessions. Being the "glass half full" sort, I suppose the fact that a grow faction within the Islamic leadership sees this type of behavior as intolerable suggests that a day of reckoning may not be too far off in the future.

Golf - The headline today will likely read that Tiger Woods has the lead after the first round of the year's last major, the PGA Championship in Hazeltine, Minnesota. I however, would like to focus on a story that appeared earlier in the week. Tiger Woods has vanquished almost every foe golf offers, even saying he would defeat his 2000 self in a showdown. But there is a fight he always loses - the one to stop yelling profanities. Woods sometimes will scream obscenities after making a bad shot, at times picked up by television microphones. While not the only golfer to curse, his exclamations of frustration are magnified by the constant scrutiny he faces. I think we can all relate to the occasional slip of the tongue. Someone once suggested to me that instead of dropping an F-bomb, say something a bit more watered down. That way you can still express yourself, but in a less coarse manner. Let me illustrate in this response to those that find Woods' occasional display of human emotion offensive. Who the "teddy bear" died and made you the "sugar" morality police. I'd like to see you "puppy dog" "baby doll" horse's "butterfly" react half as well as Woods does under the microscope you have placed him under. The guy is not a robot, you sanctimonious "kitty cat". See. Isn't that much better?

Cricket - No need to worry, you all haven't missed anything. The fifth and deciding test of the biannual Ashes cricket contest between Australia and England doesn't start until next week. I have in on good authority, that there is a good chance that there will be a winner, though someone will probably have to explain to me which side won. Stay tuned.

What Caught My Eye Today

World Population - The world's population is forecast to hit 7 billion in 2011, the vast majority of its growth coming in developing and, in many cases, the poorest nations. A staggering 97% of global growth over the next 40 years will happen in Asia, Africa, Latin America and the Caribbean, according to the Population Reference Bureau's 2009 World Population Data Sheet (click here). High fertility rates and a young population base in the developing world will fuel most of the growth, especially in Africa, where women often give birth to six or seven children over a lifetime. The number is about two in the United States and 1.5 in Canada. By 2050, India is projected to be the world's most populous nation at 1.7 billion, overtaking current leader China, which is forecast to hit 1.4 billion. The United States is expected to reach 439 million for No. 3 on the list. I love this next bit of analysis by one of the authors of the report. "The increase from 6 billion to 7 billion is likely to take 12 years, as did the increase from 5 billion to 6 billion. Both events are unprecedented in world history." Really? See I thought unprecedented meant something that never happened before. If the last population increase of 1 billion took 12 years, that would suggest that this second increase of 1 billion over 12 years isn't without precedence (I'm just saying). And if you think about it, given the amount of time is the same, the rate of population increase is actually decreasing--16.7% from 6 to 7 billion vs. 20% from 5 to 6 billion (again, I'm just saying). Any way that you look at it, that's a lot of people, and the vast majority of them don't look to have a very easy go of things.

France - Officials at a local pool banned a Muslim woman garbed in a head-to-toe swimsuit--dubbed a "burquini"--because of France's pool hygiene standards. Under the policy, swimmers are not allowed in pools with baggy clothing, including surfer-style shorts. Only figure-hugging suits are permitted. The all-body suits, worn regularly by some women in Muslim countries, are growing popular in the West. They can be seen on female Muslim lifeguards on Australian beaches, in the United States and various European countries, from the Netherlands to Sweden. France is home to western Europe's largest Muslim population, estimated at 5 million, and Islam is the nation's second religion after Roman Catholicism. I'm all for hygiene, but how exactly do these officials think these leisure suits--I mean burquini--are going to cause a public health hazard. I'm of the opinion that the spectacle caused by some folks in their "figure-hugging suits" is much more hazardous than anything related to wearing a "burquini. (Fred's Note: I labored quite a bit to make that last sentence as tame as I could).

Armageddon - As frequent readers are well aware, I like to keep abreast of all the ways that the world could end on the off chance that a completely irresponsible shopping spree might be in order. This time, I bring you killer asteroids. NASA is charged with spotting most of the asteroids that pose a threat to Earth but doesn't have the money to complete the job. That's because even though Congress assigned the space agency that mission four years ago, it never gave NASA the money to build the necessary telescopes. And the United States is practically the only government doing anything at all. And that surprises who? NASA estimates that there are about 20,000 asteroids and comets in our solar system that are potential threats. So far, scientists know where about 6,000 of these objects are. That's a shame, isn't it? NASA calculated that to spot the asteroids as required by law would mean spending about $800 million between now and 2020. At the moment, NASA has identified about five near-Earth objects that pose better than a 1-in-a-million risk of hitting Earth and being big enough to cause serious damage. That number changes from time to time, as new asteroids are added and old ones are removed as information is gathered on their orbits. See, nothing to worry about, nothing at all. I guess I'll plan that first class trip to the tropics for another time.

Potpourri - Ah yes, my friends. It's time again for another edition of news oddities that beg the question, "Does this actually qualify as news?"

• Wisconsin - The Wisconsin State Fair introduced two new taste treats at this year's event: chocolate-covered bacon on a stick and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches dipped in pancake batter and deep-fried.
  You can almost feel your arteries hardening just thinking about them.
• Defamation - A Chicago landlord sued a former tenant for defamation after she complained in a Twitter message that her apartment was moldy. She was accused of publishing "a false and defamatory tweet."
  Which, by the way, was broadcast to all 20 of her friends prior to the news wires picking up on this nonsense and sharing this little nugget with the entire world.
• College Graduates - A graduate of New York City's Monroe College, sued her alma mater for the $70,000 she spent on tuition, saying she has been unable to find a job since earning her degree in April.
  As long as everybody is suing everybody, might I suggest to Monroe College to file a counter suit for misrepresentation. I'm betting they accepted this student in the first place on the basis that she displayed some intelligence. Clearly, she lied on the application.

What Caught My Eye Today

HIV - According to French scientists, a new strain of HIV has been identified in a Cameroonian woman. That can't be good. The three previously known strains are related to a virus found in chimps, but the new one appears related to a form of simian immunodeficiency virus recently discovered in wild gorillas. So far, the woman shows no signs of AIDS and is not taking any HIV drugs. The finding highlights the need to watch closely for the emergence of new HIV variants, particularly in western Central Africa. I find it interesting how something like this gets practical no media coverage, while the H1N1 virus is being played up like the second coming of the plague.

Speaking of which...

Argentina - Schools across most of Argentina have been closed for a month because of an outbreak of swine flu. At least 230 people of died from the virus so far. The Education Ministry ordered the regular winter break of two weeks to be doubled to help prevent further infections. Argentina has reported the second largest number of H1N1 flu cases in the world, behind the United States. I heard we were contemplating longer school closures as well, but then we reconsidered and reduced the school closures or eliminated them altogether. Turns out government officials are worried that our nation's youth is dumb enough already without missing even more class time.

I did mention the plague didn't I?

China - A town in western China is under quarantine due to an outbreak of pneumonic plague, which has killed 3 people. Pneumonic plague is the deadliest and most rare form of plague. Unlike the bubonic plague, which is spread only by fleas, pneumonic plague can be spread from person to person. Untreated, it kills 60% of its victims, though early treatment cuts the death rate to 15%. A spokesperson for the World Health Organization said, "It's not something we're very worried about, but we are keeping an eye on it." Not worried about an affliction that--even when treated--is lethal to 15 out of 100 people? Are you kidding me? The swine flu--which has a rate of fatality of a couple of hundredths of a percent--has the WHO flipping out. Am I missing something here?

Estonia - In the latest Happy Planet Index (click here), an international survey of "life satisfaction", Estonia scored last in all of Europe. The researchers who conducted the survey said that Estonians seem to have a lack of "social cohesion." The index combines environmental impact with human well-being to measure the environmental efficiency with which, country by country, people live long and happy lives. At the risk of stating the obvious, this piqued my interest enough to see how well some other countries fared on this list. Strangely, the folks in Central America seem quite content with their lives. The top four (Costa Rica, Dominican Republic, Jamaica and Guatemala) all come from the same region. China comes in at #20, France at #71, the United Kingdom at #74, Iraq at #79, Iran at #81, Canada at #89, Russia at #108, and the good ol' United States coming in at a stellar #114. Estonia ranked #131, just so you know. And if you are a glass half empty sort of person, then Zimbabwe is the place for you. Those poor schmucks came in dead last on this survey.

Cricket - According to my eyes on the ground in the UK, the Australians did not beat the English in the fourth test of the biannual cricket tournament. I want to make sure I've got this right--"It was not so much a victory for the Aussies as a total thrashing." Now for those of you who have been paying attention (and I'm sure there is at least one of you out there), the series is all tied up going into the fifth and final test later this week. Stay tuned.

Golf - I'm thinking that rather than calling it the World Golf Championship it would be easier to it Tiger Woods Trophy Case. Dude won his 16th WGC trophy, fth of the season and 70th overall this past weekend at the Firestone Invitational. Did I mention that he was three strokes behind at the start of the final round and ended up winning by four. That just ain't right.

What Caught My Eye Today

Fred's Note: Every once and a while I cast aside the regular headlines in order to give those more obscure newsmakers their moment in the sun. I am and, no doubt, will continue to be amazed at the creativity of the human race and more so of those who manage to witness and report on that creativity.

New York - I appreciate that the world faces all sorts of challenges ranging from terrorism to global warming. I feel compelled to add one more item to that list, the pollution of an already rather suspect gene pool. I offer the following story to illustrate my concern. The family of a New York City teenager plans to sue the city after their 15-year-old daughter fell into an open manhole while texting on her cell phone. The girl suffered only a few scrapes in the 5-foot fall, but her mother says the city must compensate her for the trauma of landing in the sewer. Yeah, that's your kid's biggest problem. Maybe you should consider having someone look into the possibility of removing your daughter's head from her butt so that she can pay a little more attention to the world around her.

Georgia - 10,000 people flocked to East Dublin, Georgia for the annual Redneck Games, featuring such tradition-rich competitions as bobbing for pig's feet, belly flopping into a giant mud pit, spitting watermelon seeds and making farting noises with your armpit. Hmm. Good for them. Lest you think that I'm making this up, there's a web site (click here) dedicated to this annual event. (They do this every year? Dear God, why?) Suffice it to say that a picture is worth a thousand words.

Egypt - Perhaps you've heard of the saying "there must be something funny in the water". Usually there is, but this is a bit of a stretch. A Polish woman is suing an Egyptian hotel, claiming that its swimming pool made her teenage daughter pregnant. The suit claims that stray sperm in the pool must have impregnated her 13-year-old daughter while the family was on vacation. According to reports, "the mother is adamant that her daughter didn't meet any boys while she was there." Sure she didn't.

Humor - I try to keep the content on my blog suitable for all ages, though this joke might stretch that edict just a bit. Bearing that in mind, I think it's important to take a moment every once and a while to put aside all the doom and gloom that seems to dominate the headlines and have a good chuckle.

A wife comes home and turns on the lights. They flicker. "Honey," she asks her husband, "can you fix this light switch?" He replies, "What do I look like, an electrician?" The husband then goes to the bar and when he returns home the lights are working fine. "Who fixed the light?" he asks his wife. She responses, "I asked the neighbor, and he said he'd do it for either a baked cake or a quickie." The husband asks, "So what kind of cake did you bake him?" The wife calmly answers, "Who do I look like, Betty Crocker."

Remember, my friends, laughter is always the best medicine. See you next time.

Cricket - Oh yes, the Ashes continues, loyal readers. As we go to press today, the fourth of five tests between Australia and England is in progress. I think (and by that I mean I haven't got the faintest clue) that Australia is winning. I believe that is what "Australia on 174 for 4 wickets after 39.2 overs" means. That certainly. sounds better than the "102 for 10 wickets after 33.5 overs" that England got. Of course this is just 1st inning action, so the outcome far from certain. Heck, I imagine that even after the test is over, someone will have to explain to me who won.

What Caught My Eye Today

North Korea - It is amazing what a little diplomacy (and stroking of one's ego) can accomplish these days. Former President Bill Clinton met with North Korean leader Kim Jong Il on the first day of a surprise mission to Pyongyang to negotiate the release of two Americans, holding "exhaustive" talks on a wide range of topics. Shortly thereafter, North Korean media reported that Kim Jong Il had pardoned two American journalists and ordered their release during Clinton's visit. Damn, that was fast. As I starting today's posting, this was breaking news, so I don't have any more details to share. Though I think it is safe to say, that Kim Jong Il enjoyed being visited by a former U.S. President so he could show off his Napoleon complex while the world was watching. Of course, if this little sideshow leads to more fruitful talks on more substantive issues--like nuclear weapons--then who am I to criticize anything.

Iran - Maybe, after he's done in Pyongyang, he can catch a flight to Tehran to sort out this next mess. Iran has arrested three Americans for illegally entering the country from neighboring Iraq and authorities were investigating whether to charge them with spying. U.S. officials rejected the allegation, and a security official in Iraq said the three were merely backpackers who got lost while hiking in a mountainous region where the Iran-Iraq border is not clearly marked. Yeah there's a great defense--"They couldn't possibly be spies. Hell they cannot even read a map, for Pete's sake." Iranian state television said the latest case involving the Americans was being used by the West as anti-Iranian propaganda, and questioned whether they were hikers. You all think pretty highly of yourselves, don't you? I hate to burst your bubble, but the average American probably couldn't even find Iran on a map let alone care one bit about the happenings in Iran. I'm thinking, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is making a play to rub elbows with Bill Clinton. If Kim Il Jong can pull it off, why can't he?

Sudan - Sudanese police fired tear gas and beat women protesting at the trial of a female journalist who faces a flogging for wearing trousers in public. The journalist could receive 40 lashes if found guilty of violating the country's indecency law which follows a strict interpretation of Islam. The accused journalist said the law is un-Islamic and "oppressive," and she's trying to use her trial to rally support to change it. The 1991 indecency law was adopted by Sudan's Islamic regime which came to power after a coup in 1989. It follows a strict interpretation of Islamic law that imposes physical punishment on "those who commit an indecent act that violates public morale; or who dress indecently." Trousers are considered indecent under the law. Someone, anyone, please explain to me how a pair of pants could be consider indecent? I can appreciate the possibility of trousers being in poor taste, but indecent? I just don't see it. Seriously, where in the Koran does it say that trousers are indecent? Activists and lawyers say it is implemented arbitrarily, and leaves the definition of "indecent acts" up to the implementing police officer. How convenient for them. That certainly would make swift justice (for lack of a better term) much easier to dispense with. Flogging is a common punishment for drinking and making alcohol, and whatever else the law enforcer deems indecent. You have to hand it to these guys--No hang ups with due process and a single form of punishment. Now that's what I would call efficient. Barbaric, inhumane and cruel, but efficient.

Cricket - The Ashes (a bi-annual tournament between England and Australia) continues later this week with the fourth of five tests. According to my main man, Rod, England and Australia traded whoop-assings in the third test (I'm paraphrasing a bit) and I think the result was a draw. Which means England still holds a slight lead over Australia, having won the second test. I'll keep you posted--or at least try to. The commentary on these matches is harder to follow than the action itself.

What Caught My Eye Today

India - The largest democracy on Earth has itself a new toy. India joined an elite club of six nations last week with the launch of its own nuclear-powered submarine. INS Arihant (Destroyer of Enemies) begins trials this week with its builders slating 2015 as the date for the commissioning of the 6,000-tonne vessel with a 85-megawatt nuclear reactor. The Arihant is a key part of a highly ambitious military modernization program by India, which hiked its military budget in the current financial year by 24% to 28.4 billion dollars. While Pakistan was the first to react, many analysts feel development of the Arihant is aimed more at countering the threat from the region's undisputed naval power, China. Okay, let's take this one point at a time. First off, the other five nations is this little fraternity are: United States, United Kingdom, Russia, France and China. Next, "Destroyer of Enemies"--that's a little provocative for the name of a nuclear-armed submarine, don't you think? Commissioning in 2015? I don't know a lot about nuclear submarines, but that seems like an awfully long time to be tested a sub isn't exactly new (India bought an existing sub from Russia and basically modified it). And lastly, I don't see why Pakistan is all bent out of shape over this. India launching a sub that might be seaworthy in 6 years hardly seems like the most pressing issue that Pakistani government needs to worry about right now.

Economy - This just in. The global economic meltdown shows little signs of recovery, and the queen is wants some answers. Seriously. A group of eminent economists have apologized to Queen Elizabeth II for failing to predict the financial crisis after she demanded, during a visit to the London School of Economics last November, to know why nobody had anticipated the credit crunch. the letter says that says "financial wizards" who believed that their plans to manage risky debts and protect the financial system were infallible were guilty of "wishful thinking combined with hubris." Huh? Maybe the rest of the letter makes more sense. "In summary, your majesty, the failure to foresee the timing, extent and severity of the crisis and to head it off, while it had many causes, was principally a failure of the collective imagination of many bright people, both in this country and internationally, to understand the risks to the system as a whole." Buckingham Palace declined to comment on the correspondence. I can see why. It hardly seems worth it to respond to a 3 page letter that basically says, "I don't know". Still, I challenge anyone to say that the Queen of England doesn't wield at least some measure of power in this day and age. I bet you, she was just wondering out loud about the failure to predict this mess, and look what she got in response. That's pretty impressive in my book. A complete waste of time, but impressive, nonetheless.

Cricket - I want to give a shout out my main man Rod for attempting to explain some of the finer points of this most fascinating sport. I still don't really get it, but that isn't Rod fault. At any rate, I'm pretty sure that the third Test of the biennial Ashes competition between England and Australia got underway today, and if I'm not mistaken, Australia opened up a can of whoop-ass on the English squad. Australia made a confident start in the third Ashes Test against England leading 126 for 1 on a rain-disrupted first day. Australia is looking to level the series following their 115-run defeat in the last Test. Sounds like a whoop-assing to me. Rod--if you are out there--can I get a ruling on this?

Cycling - Yes, yes. I'm painfully aware that the Tour de France ended this past Sunday, but I have the sneaking suspicion that most folks reading this may not be the avid grand cycling tour fan that I am, so this will probably be new to you anyway. Astana rider Alberto Contador won the Tour de France in convincing fashion by more than 4 minutes over his closest rival. My boy, Lance Armstrong took third place almost 5 and a half minutes behind his teammate. Of course the real news (sadly) was the snick that these guys got into after the race was concluded. Armstrong also announced that he was launching a team US-based team sponsored by RadioShack and that he will be riding for RadioShack in the 2010 Tour de France. Shockingly, no invitation was extended by Armstrong to Contador to join the new team. And that concludes this year's coverage of the Tour de France. Next up, the Vuelta de Espana in September. I can barely contain my excitement.

What Caught My Eye Today

Swine Flu - According to the World Health Organization, the swine flu virus has reached 160 countries and could infect two billion people within the next two years. For those of you keeping count, that's almost one in three people. Crickey. The virus is thought to have killed almost 800 people in recent months. I've been mocking the mortality rate of this virus for several weeks. 800 out of 2 billion doesn't even come close to a statistical anomaly. What I've left out, is the fact that influenza viruses tend to mutate and do so rather rapidly. So while this particular strain may not be particularly lethal just yet, it could be. The majority of cases appear to be occurring in young people, around the ages of 12 to 17, although some reports suggest it is mainly older people who have required hospital treatment. The organization also said there was accumulating evidence suggesting pregnant women are at higher risk of more severe disease, but "certainly has no recommendations on whether women should try to have children now". If the day ever comes that the WHO contemplates making such a recommendation, I pity the fool who has to deliver that announcement to the world.

Iran - I try to keep an open mind about most things especially when it comes to politics and religion. These tend to be rather sensitive subjects that reflect cultural beliefs that I do not fully understand or appreciate. That being said when it comes to the Iranian political leadership I am quickly coming to the conclusion that the guys in charge are a few cards short of a full deck. Iran's top authority, Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, called on President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad to dismiss a senior official who had said Iran was friendly with everyone, even the people of its sworn foe Israel. Khamenei apparently is not one to mince his words. "The appointment of ... Esfandiar Rahim Mashaie as vice president is against your interest and the interests of the government and will cause division among your supporters." the Ayatollah said."It is necessary to announce the cancellation of this appointment." See what I mean. Analysts have said that the decision by Ahmadinejad to appoint Mashaie, to whom he is related by marriage, suggested the president had only a small entourage of people he trusted. Ahmadinejad was re-elected in a presidential vote which stirred the largest display of internal unrest in Iran since the 1979 Islamic revolution and exposed deep rifts in its ruling elite. On the off chance that you have not been following the Iranian political scene--I'm sure there are one or two of you out there--let me break it down for you. Back in June, Ahmadinejad was proclaimed the victor of a rather dubious presidential election by the aforementioned Ayatollah. This pretty much validated that Ahmadinejad was the Ayatollah's anointed one--and how convenient was it that the electorate agreed with him; even if they didn't know they did. One would assume that this would be the end of the story, but clearly not. Ahmadinejad in his infinite wisdom picks as his first vice president (apparently there are a whole bunch of vice president) a dude that no one, including the Ayatollah, likes. Given that the Ayatollah basically handed the presidency to Ahmadinejad, you would think that the dude would pick someone a bit more palatable for such a prestigious post. Of course, what I really want to know is what the Supreme Leader of Iran saw in this whack job in the first place.

Nepal - I'm not sure why, but Nepal is just a hotbed of news this week. A remote region of Nepal is hoping to improve local sanitation by asking everyone who applies for a citizenship card or passport whether they have a toilet at home. They say there is a lack of awareness of the health risks related to open defecation, and are hoping the proposed scheme will help to eradicate the practice. Maybe it is a cultural thing. What sort of awareness is the government looking for? People are taking dumps in the middle of the street. Is that not obvious enough? The proposal comes as Nepal is struggling to deal with a diarrhea outbreak that has reportedly killed around 150 people in a remote western region. Disease outbreaks are common during the monsoon, when floods mean water sources can easily become contaminated. The government has promised to eradicate open defecation by 2017, but officials say they are well behind schedule on the building of new toilets. It's stories like this that remind you no matter how bad things might seem, they are most assuredly worse someplace else. Though in the case of the Nepalese people, I'm not sure I can think of a "someplace else" that tops their predicament.

Cricket - I think I'm starting to get the hang of this sport (yeah, right). The third test of the bi-annual tournament between the national teams of England and Australia got underway yesterday. I'm pretty sure that the Aussies are leading, which is certainly good news for them after the English won the second test. At any rate, I have plenty of more time to pick up on the nuances of the sport. As close as I can figure, they are contesting one test a week. And seeing as this tournament consists of 5 tests, I've got two more weeks. Yeah baby.

Cycling - Technically, the Tour de France has two more stages left, but the winner was effectively decided yesterday. Astana team leader, Alberto Cantador won the individual time trial (that was actually a rather big surprise) and increased his overall lead to 4 minutes 11 seconds over his closest rival, Luxembourg rider, Andy Schleck. Unless he falls off a mountain or gets hit by truck, the yellow jersey is basically his. Lance Armstrong was fourth going into the time trial and managed to make up enough time on one of his rivals, Frank Schleck (Andy's older brother) to climb back to third place overall, 5 minutes 25 seconds behind Contador. Today's stage was supposed to be rather uneventful, but was far from it. First of all, UK rider Mark Cavendish won for a fifth time becoming the UK's winningest Tour de France stage winner of all time. Second, while his chances for winning the Tour are all be gone, Armstrong showed that he's still probably the smartest rider as he noticed that the final sprint would likely (and in fact did) result in a time gap, and was the only general classification contender to finish in the same time as Cavendish--all the other lead riders lost 4 seconds to Armstrong. In the giant scheme of things, the standings did not change, but awareness of the race going on around him, reminding everyone why Armstrong, not Contador, is still the big dog.

What Caught My Eye Today - North of the Border Edition

Fred's Note: I'm chilling it north of the border hanging out with the family. Being four hours ahead of my normal time zone, not only am I able to what the Tour de France at a much more reasonable hour, but I also find myself with a bit more free time in the morning. So without further adieu...

Facebook - This was a pretty major headline in Canada last week. The writing is on the wall for Facebook, do more to protect the privacy of Canadian users of face the threat of court action. Canada's Privacy Commissioner posted a message in a report that warns the personal information of Facebook users may be at risk and said that Facebook breaches federal privacy law by keeping users' personal information indefinitely--even after members close their accounts. The Commissioner did acknowledge that the social networking phenomenon has highlighted the fact some people are quite comfortable showcasing their lives online. Ah yes, there is that. I have a Facebook account too, and like many things in life, a bit of due diligence is called for. Would you walk up to a total stranger on the street and start talking about that bender you went on over the weekend? Probably not. So why in the world would you brag about it (or worse yet, post photos of your debauchery) where millions of strangers can see it. Sure Facebook could improve its privacy safeguards, but maybe some of the responsibility for protecting one's privacy lies with the rocket scientists who are publishing their innermost secrets in the first place. If you ask me, Facebook would be much better served fixing the bugs in Mafia Wars. I'm just saying.

Nepal - Corruption is so endemic in Nepal that bribery is almost to be expected at Kathmandu's international airport. Big deal, In the States, we deal with bribery everyday--"Come on dude, my bag is only 5 pounds over the weight limit. Can't we make a deal or something?"--plus we have to contend with crap service, long lines, and rude people. So you'll forgive me if I don't seem too sympathetic to the situation in Nepal. In a bid to boost tourism, the government has devised a clever way to deter staff from soliciting "tea money" from hapless travellers: pocketless pants. Gimme a minute. I'll explain. This is all on the up-and-up. The government determined that airport officials should be given trousers with no pockets so that the would-be bribe-takers would have nowhere to hide their spoils. To me this is yet another example of the most effective solutions tend to also be the simplest ones. Last year Nepal ranked 131 out of 180 nations on Transparency International's Corruption Perceptions Index. Should you be curious, Denmark, New Zealand and Sweden were ranked #1; Canada was #9 (you go, Canada); and the U.S. came in at #18 (really? that high?).

New Zealand - This story broke late last month, but I just heard about it yesterday, so it's news to me. The instructions in Air New Zealand’s new in-flight safety video are given by employees who are nude except for body paint and strategically placed seat belts. And get this, the employees are...how should I put this...not ugly. Yeah, baby! The video and commercial are not as revealing as some might think (or perhaps hope, given the toned bodies of the employees). The realistic body paint makes it look as if the employees — flight attendants, baggage handlers and a pilot — are wearing uniforms. The one person not shown doing his actual job is the company’s buff chief executive, Rob Fyfe, who plays a baggage handler. Good for them. I'm not a big fan of air travel these days, but I am sympathetic to the fact that being in the airline industry these days pretty much sucks. It's nice to see at least one airline somehow manages to keep its sense of humor.

Tour de France - Stage #18 (the 40.5k individual time trial) is in progress as I write this. The big fireworks came in yesterday's stage in the Alps which included 4 category 1 climbs. Our man Alberto Cantador opened up a 2 minute 6 second advantage over his closest competitor--who is no longer Lance Armstrong. Armstrong played the dutiful teammate, marking another overall classification contender and in the process gave up precious time to Cantador and slipping to 4th place, 3 minutes 55 seconds of the lead. It is more than likely that Lance will work his way back onto the podium after today's time trial (the dudes in front of him aren't very good at this particular discipline), so that's all good. However (and I'll freely admit that I'm an Armstrong fan), it's pretty plain to see that having so many top flight riders on one team--Armstrong, Cantador, Kloden, and Leipheimer (who withdrew from the race with a fractured wrist) can really mess with your team strategy.

Ashes - This one goes out to my main man, Rod. When last we left the biennial cricket contest between England and Australia, the first test resulted in a draw (I think) and the second test was just getting underway. Well, England won the second test (I think), and now leads with three tests left to contest (I think). So there you have it. Have I mentioned how fascinating this sport is? I think I have.

What Caught My Eye Today

Space Shuttle - If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. An admirable sentiment to be sure, but the dudes at NASA have to be getting a bit frustrated at this point. NASA has finished fueling the space shuttle for a sixth attempt to launch Endeavour on a mission to the international space station. Thunderstorms have delayed the mission three times and hydrogen gas leaks have caused two delays. Endeavour holds the final piece of Japan's space lab, which should have flown last month. NASA could also launch Endeavour tomorrow, if managers agree to shorten the flight. Otherwise, the shuttle will have to step aside for a Russian supply run to the space station. That would bump the shuttle launch to July 26. This is a first--a traffic jam in space. Who would have thought that would happen so quickly. I've got like what, one whole space station, and we're already dealing with traffic congestion. If you ask me, that doesn't bode too well for the future.

Sarah Palin - Outgoing Alaska Governor Sarah Palin is facing yet another ethics complaint — the 18th against her and the very thing that helped to prompt her resignation. Eighteen? That seems rather high, doesn't it? The latest complaint alleges she abused her office by accepting a salary and using state staff while campaigning outside Alaska for the vice presidency. It's the third complaint filed against the Republican since she announced July 3 that she was stepping down. Palin said at the time of her resignation that her administration had become hamstrung by frivolous ethics complaints that also put her more than $500,000 in legal debt and set the state back about $2 million dealing with them.Given that there are 18 complaints so far, I cannot say that I blame her. Still, 18 complaints? I have a hard time believing that all of them are frivolous.

Air Travel - The first-ever all-pet airline conducted its first flight, one day after the new airline became operational. Pet Airways services five major cities—New York, Washington, Chicago, Denver, and Los Angeles. Flights for the next two months are already booked. The company hopes to expand their service to 25 locations in the next three years. The animals on Pet Airways travel in their own carriers in the main cabin, not in the cargo hold as with most airlines. The $250 one-way fare is comparable to pet fees at the largest U.S. airlines. As a pet owner I applaud this business venture and hope it succeeds. Though I do have one question. If I can shove myself into a pet carrier can I get in on this action. $250 is a pretty sweet deal, not to mention the fact that I'd probably have more leg room than I would on a human only flight.

Cycling - We're over halfway done with this year's Tour de France and my main man, Lance Armstrong is still in third place, just 8 seconds out of the lead. Not much is likely to change in the overall standings until the mountain stages in the Alps in a few days time. While I'm partial to Armstrong's performance, I would be remiss if I did not give some props to some other Tour related headlines. First, Armstrong's team, Astana, occupies 4 of the top 6 places in the overall classification (Contador, 2nd, Armstrong, 3rd, Leipheimer, 4th and Kloden, 6th), yet somehow, Astana is second in the team classification. How is that possible? Second, Team Columbia rider, Mark Kavendish has won 4 of the 5 sprint stages so far. Dude knows how to close the deal in these group sprints.

What Caught My Eye Today

Economy - You know that old saying, "There is always a silver lining." Apparently, in a global recession, that silver lining manifests itself in the following way--"sure things are bad for us Americans, but they really blow chow for the rest of the world." The International Monetary Fund's latest tally of world economic conditions forecasts a 2.6% decline in U.S. economic output for all of 2009, and anemic growth of 0.8% in 2010. That's more optimistic than the IMF's prediction from three months ago, but still lousy. The United States should count itself lucky, though. The IMF expects at least 11 major parts of the world to have more severe economic contractions than the United State this year, including most of western Europe, Japan, Russia, and Mexico. Europe will still be stumbling along behind the United States next year, as well. If these projections come true, it means the United States, despite its overspent consumers, wrecked banks, and insolvent automakers, will be leading the world economy out of recession. Somehow. Yeah, that's reassuring. And I bet the rest of the world is thrilled that the United States will emerge from this mess, that arguably it created, before anyone else does.

Dick Cheney - According to U.S. Senator Diane Feinstein (D-CA), the CIA withheld information from Congress about a secret counterterrorism program on orders from former U.S. Vice President Dick Cheney. Girlfriend is just figuring this out now? CIA Director Leon Panetta disclosed Cheney's involvement when he briefed members of Congress two weeks ago. The still-secret program, which purportedly never became operational, began after the September 11 attacks on the United States. In one of his first acts as president, Barack Obama ordered more humane treatment for terrorism suspects. Panetta has vowed not to allow coercive interrogation practices, secret prisons or the transfer of terrorist suspects to countries that may use torture, a pledge seen as a break with the agency's policies under Bush. This is a bit of a tough one. September 11 broke new ground, so I believe it is a bit unfair to pass judgment too quickly on the leadership of that time--we were all pretty freaked out by that event. That being said, I think the leadership was a bit quick to toss aside everything this country stands for in its zeal to protect the nation from another such attack ever taking place on American soil. And they did succeed; but at what cost?

Spain - Five runners were gored, two seriously, and six received other injuries at a packed running of the bulls at the San Fermin festival in Pamplona. One man was caught in the chest and legs when a large bull became separated from the pack on the slippery cobblestone streets leading to the bullring. The bull, a Miura weighing 1,268 pounds, jerked the runner upward and then rolled him along the ground in the entrance to the ring. Miuras are the largest and most famous of Spain's fighting bulls. The sixth running of the bulls at the annual festival was held two days after a 27-year-old man was gored to death. You would think after a guy died doing this, the organizers would have called it a day, but I guess not. For more than 100 years thrill-seekers have accompanied the bulls from a pen outside the city walls on a dangerous, daredevil run to the bullring. In the afternoon, the bulls face matadors and almost certain death. I'm truly sorry that this individual lost his life. However, given that these bulls are basically going off to slaughter, I cannot say I blame them for being a bit hostile.

Sports - Here's a quick round up from this past weekend.

Tour de France - Here's what you need to know. The first 9 stages are over, including the team time trial and 3 mountain stage in the Pyrenees. Team Astana could have taken the overall leader's jersey yesterday or today but elected not to this early into the race. Alberto Contador is in second place overall (6 seconds back of the lead), Lance Armstrong is in third (8 seconds back) and Levi Leipheimer is in fourth (39 seconds back). If you are keeping count, that's 3 of the top 4 cyclists all riding for the same team. And Astana's fourth best rider--Andreas Kloden is in sixth place (54 seconds off the pace).

NASCAR - We're 19 races into the 2009 season--one more than half way through--which means we're 7 races from the race for the Chase (NASCAR's championship). There are some familiar names at the top of the standings--Tony Stewart, Jeff Gordon, Jimmie Johnson, Mark Martin, Kyle and Kurt Busch and Carl Edwards. But here's an interesting development. The drivers with the most wins (Mark Martin, 4, and Kyle Busch, 3) might not make it into the Chase based on points. Martin is within 12 points of elimination and Busch withing 14 points of elimination. And what about the biggest name in the sport--Dale Earnhardt Jr.? Put a fork in him, he's done. Jr. is more than 350 points out of the Chase.

Cricket - Okay, I think I can tell who is winning this Ashes gig in Cardiff, Wales between England and Australia. Australia moved with ruthless professionalism on Saturday towards victory in the first Ashes test against England before rain brought a premature end to the fourth day. It was the first time in Ashes history that four Australians have scored centuries in one innings and Australia's 674 for six declared compiled over more than 12 hours was their fourth highest total against England. So Australia wins, right? On Sunday, England denied Australia victory in the first Ashes Test with an heroic unbeaten last-wicket stand before an ecstatic capacity 16,000-strong crowd. England will go into the second Test at Lord's starting on Thursday with honors even. Or maybe not. If I'm reading this correctly--and this is a big "if"--it would appear that England and Australia played to a draw. Yes, let's call it a draw, shall we? Did I mention that this cricket is a fascinating sport?

What Caught My Eye Today

North Korea - More than two dozen Internet sites in South Korea and the United States, including the White House, were attacked in recent days by hackers that South Korea's spy agency said may be linked to North Korea. The timing of the cyber attacks raised suspicions about North Korea because it was around the U.S. Independence Day holiday and Pyongyang conducting missile tests.Way to connect the dots, genius. The attack was more about nuisance and harassment and was very low in the sophistication scale. Nuisance and lacking in sophistication? Sound like North Korea to me. If North Korea was responsible, it would mark an escalation in tensions already high due to the reclusive communist state's nuclear test in May, its firing of seven ballistic missiles in July and repeated attacks on longtime foes Seoul and Washington in its official media. Maybe I'm looking at this from the wrong perspective, but a feeble Internet attack doesn't exactly seem to rank the same importance as the test firing of missiles capable of carrying nuclear weapons. Don't get me wrong; given enough practice, I can see these guys doing some serious damage. I just don't see this stunt being at the same level as test firing some ballistic missiles.

Slang - It never ceases to amaze me the nonsense that always seems to make its way into our judicial system. A Las Vegas man won a courtroom battle with the Nevada Department of Motor Vehicles over his "HOE" license plate, which the agency tried to cancel on grounds that he was using a slang reference to prostitutes. The high court said the DMV based its opposition to the man's plate on definitions found in the Web-based Urban Dictionary, which includes user contributions. Justices ruled that the contributed definitions "do not always reflect generally accepted definitions for words." The plaintiff, whose case was pursued by the American Civil Liberties Union of Nevada, said he got the "HOE" plate in 1999 for his Chevy Tahoe, after being told "TAHOE" wasn't available. I'm gonna side with the DMV on this one. Hear me out. When you hear the word "hoe" what comes to mind? A garden tool? Probably. A woman of questionable moral character, maybe. A pickup truck? I seriously doubt it. That being said, this is such a lame ass way to spend taxpayer money. Did a court really need to rule on this? Last time I checked with my state DMV, they had a published list of letter combinations that were not available--mostly because of the derogatory inferences that could be made from them. Sorry, bro'. I'm going with "hoe" as a likely candidate for being interpreted as a derogatory term.

Pope - It's been ages since we've heard from His Holiness, Pope Benedict XVI. I wonder what's on his mind these days. Pope Benedict XVI, on the eve of a global economic summit, lashed out at modern capitalism for being shortsighted and short on ethics. "Today's international economic scene, marked by grave deviations and failures, requires a profoundly new way of understanding business enterprise," the pontiff said. I'm not sure I'd condemn capitalism or call it shortsighted. Most of the reasons behind the most recent economic meltdown can be tied to legal loopholes, lax regulation, and people breaking the law. If you want to claim shortsightedness or a lack of ethics, I'd start with the legislators and regulators who allowed this activity to happen on their watch.

Cricket - I am, if nothing else, a man of my word. And it is in that vein that I give you this recap of the first day of action at The Ashes in Cardiff, Wales, the bi-annual cricket competition between England and Australia. Day 1 of Test Match 1 of Ashes 2009 comes to a close. The honors have been equally shared. First session to Australia. Second to England. Third to both. Perfect day's cricket. Now if someone could explain to me, what all that means....So are they tied, or what?

Cycling - I'll keep this short. Stage 5 is in the books. Swiss rider, Fabian Cancellara is still the overall race leader followed by Lance Armstrong, less than one second behind. That's right, these guys have covered 628km (390 mi), including a individual and a team time trial, and they are in a dead head. Pretty amazing, wouldn't you say?