What Caught My Eye Today

Fred's Note: Every once and a while I cast aside the regular headlines in order to give those more obscure newsmakers their moment in the sun. I am and, no doubt, will continue to be amazed at the creativity of the human race and more so of those who manage to witness and report on that creativity.

New York - I appreciate that the world faces all sorts of challenges ranging from terrorism to global warming. I feel compelled to add one more item to that list, the pollution of an already rather suspect gene pool. I offer the following story to illustrate my concern. The family of a New York City teenager plans to sue the city after their 15-year-old daughter fell into an open manhole while texting on her cell phone. The girl suffered only a few scrapes in the 5-foot fall, but her mother says the city must compensate her for the trauma of landing in the sewer. Yeah, that's your kid's biggest problem. Maybe you should consider having someone look into the possibility of removing your daughter's head from her butt so that she can pay a little more attention to the world around her.

Georgia - 10,000 people flocked to East Dublin, Georgia for the annual Redneck Games, featuring such tradition-rich competitions as bobbing for pig's feet, belly flopping into a giant mud pit, spitting watermelon seeds and making farting noises with your armpit. Hmm. Good for them. Lest you think that I'm making this up, there's a web site (click here) dedicated to this annual event. (They do this every year? Dear God, why?) Suffice it to say that a picture is worth a thousand words.

Egypt - Perhaps you've heard of the saying "there must be something funny in the water". Usually there is, but this is a bit of a stretch. A Polish woman is suing an Egyptian hotel, claiming that its swimming pool made her teenage daughter pregnant. The suit claims that stray sperm in the pool must have impregnated her 13-year-old daughter while the family was on vacation. According to reports, "the mother is adamant that her daughter didn't meet any boys while she was there." Sure she didn't.

Humor - I try to keep the content on my blog suitable for all ages, though this joke might stretch that edict just a bit. Bearing that in mind, I think it's important to take a moment every once and a while to put aside all the doom and gloom that seems to dominate the headlines and have a good chuckle.

A wife comes home and turns on the lights. They flicker. "Honey," she asks her husband, "can you fix this light switch?" He replies, "What do I look like, an electrician?" The husband then goes to the bar and when he returns home the lights are working fine. "Who fixed the light?" he asks his wife. She responses, "I asked the neighbor, and he said he'd do it for either a baked cake or a quickie." The husband asks, "So what kind of cake did you bake him?" The wife calmly answers, "Who do I look like, Betty Crocker."

Remember, my friends, laughter is always the best medicine. See you next time.

Cricket - Oh yes, the Ashes continues, loyal readers. As we go to press today, the fourth of five tests between Australia and England is in progress. I think (and by that I mean I haven't got the faintest clue) that Australia is winning. I believe that is what "Australia on 174 for 4 wickets after 39.2 overs" means. That certainly. sounds better than the "102 for 10 wickets after 33.5 overs" that England got. Of course this is just 1st inning action, so the outcome far from certain. Heck, I imagine that even after the test is over, someone will have to explain to me who won.