What Caught My Eye Today

President Bush - It is a well-known fact that I'm not a huge fan of the 43rd President, so I'm as surprised as anyone to find myself defending him (it's a world gone mad, I tell you). Former Vice President Dick Cheney is working on a memoir of his time in President George W. Bush's administration. In it, Cheney accuses Bush of "going soft". Aides to Cheney say the former vice president simply cannot stay quiet about what he considers to the "moral weakness" of the administration's second term. Yeah, Cheney is one to talk about morality. Read on... In suspending the use of torture, seeking congressional approval for domestic surveillance, and refusing to pardon Lewis "Scooter" Libby, Bush, in Cheney's view, made "concessions to public sentiment" that revealed the president as just "an ordinary politician." I do my best to keep the content on this blog suitable for all ages, bit in this case, I'm going to make an exception. Mr. Cheney, your name suits you well, because you are, without a doubt, the biggest dick in the history of dickdom. How nice it must be for you to sit on the sidelines and criticize those how had the courage to admit that the policies they implemented needed to be changed, you pompous douche.

Okay, sorry about that. Let's move on shall we.

Africa - Eritrea and Ethiopia mush pay each other millions of dollars in compensation for damages arising for their 1989-2000 border war. The terms of the deal are rather interesting. An international tribunal calculated the total property damage on both sides and ruled that Ethiopia owes $164 million to Eritrea and that Eritrea owes Ethiopia $174 million. No need to break out the calculator. Basically Eritrea has to cut a $10 million check to Ethiopia. Eritrea has agreed to pay the debt. Isn't that nice. Does it seem odd to anyone, besides me, that war reparations for an 11 year conflict amount to less than $1 million a year?

France - Admittedly, I mock the French a fair bit. It's nothing personal; it merely amuses me. On this particular occasion, I'm going to do the exact opposite and tip my cap to them. Under an new government proposal, French tourists in hostile or unstable countries will have to reimburse the treasury for rescuing them. The proposed law would require travelers to cover the costs incurred in rescuing them from war zones, hostage-takings, and other dangerous situations. Diplomats, reporters, aid workers and business travelers would be exempt from the fees. I'm totally with the government on this one. Why should taxpayer money be spent rescuing tourists who are either too stupid or too reckless to stay out of war zones? If you are dumb enough to walk into a situation where people are shooting at each other (with real bullets, mind you) I say, "Good luck with that, spark plug. Send me a postcard."

Drugs - A study conducted by the U.S. Drug Enforcement Agency found that 85% to 95% of all bills circulating in the U.S. and Canada contain traces of cocaine, up form 67% in 2007. Like that surprises anyone.

Sports - Two items of note this past weekend...and only one has to do with cricket.

Cricket - The English won the Ashes! The English won the Ashes! The English won the Ashes! (Fred's Note: Baseball fans may catch the reference, otherwise just keep reading). After the better part of two months, the English national cricket team claimed victory over Australia in the best of five test bi-annual tournament...finally. For the record, 64 Ashes series have been played, with Australia winning 30 and England 29. The remaining five series were drawn, with Australia retaining the Ashes four times. And with that we close the book on cricket until 2011...or until my man, Rod turns me onto another worthy cricket tournament.

Golf - The ladies contested their version of the Ryder Cup--the Solheim Cup--this past weekend. The bi-annual team competition pits the U.S. against Europe and in a year where the U.S. team was heavily favored, they did not disappoint. They retained the Solheim Cup with a score of 16-12. The Americans have won the Cup 8 of the 11 times the event has been held. Interestingly enough, an American woman has not won an LPGA event so far in 2009.

Tennis - Apparently, this is really happened...though I remain a bit skeptical. A North Carolina woman is suing the city of Raleigh, North Carolina because no men will play tennis win her. The plaintiff says she was so routinely beating male opponents in the city-sponsored tennis league that the city scrapped a rule that penalized players for declining matches. The women wants $10,000 for her emotional distress. For the sake of argument, let's assume this is a legitimate story. While I am against frivolous lawsuits (seriously, where is the emotional distress is kicking the crap out of the opposite sex on a tennis court?), in principle I have to side with the player. Girlfriend was playing by the rules. Is it her fault that the guys sucked. The only thing city officials should have done was suggest that the men work on their serves a bit more.