What Caught My Eye Today

Iran - On the off chance that you are not up on the latest political dish in Iran, trust me when I say this is a pretty big deal. A not-so-quiet debate is brewing inside the seminaries of Qum, Iran's religious capital, over how to abolish the post of the all-powerful Supreme Leader of the Islamic Republic. Critics charge that the position--whose legitimacy is derived directly from God (I've heard of mandates, but this seems a bit over the top, don't you think?) -- is based on a radical interpretation of Islam. Top Shiite scholars have compared allegiance to the Supreme Leader to an act of polytheism (which I'm guessing is bad) and have suggested to Ayatollah Ali Khamenei that "your religious legitimacy has vanished." That doesn't sound so good either. Few clerics have yet to openly call for the abolition of the post, which would be and act of treason (Now I know that's bad. They chop off heads for stuff like that).

Russia (Part I) - Pope Benedict XVI and visiting Russian President Dmitry Medvedev agreed to upgrade Vatican-Kremlin relations to full diplomatic ties. A Vatican statement said Benedict and Medvedev agreed that Russia will upgrade its representation at the Vatican from a special mission to embassy level and that the Vatican will reciprocate in Moscow. The step forward on the diplomatic front comes at the same time as a warming in previously tense relations between the Russian Orthodox Church and the Vatican. Usually I would applaud this as a rather substantial reconciliation. Religion is like family. Nothing about it is ever clear cut and simple. But I digress. Like I said, usually I would applaud this, however, recent events suggest this might just be a temporary thawing.

Russia (Part II) - Prime Minister Vladimir Putin sent his strongest signal yet that he plans to return to Russia's presidency, telling millions of TV viewers that he will consider running in 2012. Putin has remained Russia's consummate leader since constitutional term limits forced him to step down in 2008. He named Medvedev as his anointed successor and, shortly after the election, Medvedev named him prime minister. At least the sanctity of the Russia constitution is still in tact. The premiership had been a comparatively low-profile position, but Putin has pushed it into the spotlight, logging more TV time in the Medvedev era than the president himself. Medvedev has appeared to be little more than a figurehead and placeholder. Hey now. Is it Putin's fault that he's more photogenic, more charasmatic, more handsome, more intelligent, wiser...not to mention blessed with rock hard abs--but I digress again. Where was I? Oh yeah. Is it Putin's fault that Medvedev is such a sap? I think not. And why shouldn't the Russian people have a leader worthy of their support. Screw the Constitution, I say.

Humor - This joke made me laugh. Ordinarily, this wouldn't be so noteworthy, but here's the thing. This joke has no political undertones and doesn't poke fun at any group or stereotype (unless you are a talking dog). A guy is driving around and sees a sign in front of a house that reads, "Talking dog for sale." So he stop and the owner takes him out to the backyard to see the dog. "You talk?" he asked. "Yes I do." the dog replied. "When I was a puppy, the CIA had me jetting from country to country sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. Now I'm retired." The man was amazed and asked the dog's owner how much he wanted for the dog. "Ten dollars." the owner said. "Ten dollars? Why on earth would you want to sell him for so little?" "Because he's a liar. He never did any of that stuff."

What Caught My Eye Today

Fred's Note: Should you be looking for comment on Tiger Woods personal life or Obama's war strategy for Afghanistan, you will have to look elsewhere. It's not that I don't care about the Afghanistan story, but if you have access to the same news outlets that I do, you've heard enough analysis in the past 24 hours to last the rest of this year...and probably most of next year as well. As for Tiger Woods and his alleged extra marital affair; we've heard this story before and we all know how it ends.

World Hunger - A depressing subject got even more depressing last week. Some 60 heads of state gathered in Rome for a summit on food security rejected a United Nations call for rich nations to commit billions of dollars to develop agriculture in countries where hunger is widespread and also shot down the U.N.'s call for a pledge to end hunger by 2025. I realize that resources are limited and there is not an endless supply of money to fund every philanthropic endeavor, but this seems like a pretty worthwhile cause that could yield tangible results rather quickly as compared to ending global warming or ridding the world of nuclear weapons. About 1 billion people--almost one out of every six people on the planet--are underfed and a child somewhere dies of hunger every six seconds. Seriously, what am I missing here? How much more urgency is needed to justify some action on this?

Mexico - As if we needed another indication of just how bad the global recession has hit the United States. Now it appears that we're taking hand outs from our neighbors south of the border. Mexicans have begun sending money to their relatives north of the border, instead of the other way around. The so-called "reverse remittances," once extremely rare, are becocming more common as Mexicans who moved to the U.S. for work have lost their jobs. Banks report that money sent from Mexicans in the U.S. back home say that amount has dropped more than 13% in the past year. Lucky for Mexico it has a thriving drug trade that can help fill in for all that lost revenue from the U.S.

Nepal - A quarter-million aminals were slaughtered in a festival honoring Gadhimai, a Hindu goddess of power. That shreik you just heard came from the folks at PETA, who clearly had a very, very bad week. The festival is held every 5 years in Hindu communities areoud the world. The Nepal gathering is the largest. Following the ritual slaughter--mostly of buffaloes, goats, chickens and pigeons--the meat was taken back to villages for local feasts. The meat of animals consecrated to Gadhimai is said to protect Hindues from evil. Animal-rights activists reportedly encouraged pilgrims to substitute coconuts and other fruites for the sacrifice, but met with little success. Big surprise. Think about it. What self-respecting diety would be satisfied with a ritualistic sacrifice of fruit salad?

Potpourri - More head scratchers from--you guessed it--the world of juris prudence.

• Good Deeds - A Pennsylvania Boy Scout who spent more than 200 hours clearing a hiking trail in a city park has drawn the ire of a municipal union. A spokesperson for the Service Employees International Union threatened to file a grievance, saying only union members can work in the park.
  I guess the saying is true--no good deed goes unpunished.
• Marriage - A California man is suing the San Francisco International Airport for $15 million, claiming that the airport noise ruined his marriage. The man says his marriage "went downhill almost immediately upon moving" into the house in 2003 and he blames airplanes for driving his wife of 13 years to leave him.
  Hey, Einstein. When you were shopping around for houses, were you completely oblivious to all those airplanes flying around you? I'm not sure I'd blame the airport for your marital problems. Perhaps you should look for a different source. Might I suggest taking a look in the closest mirror?

What Caught My Eye Today

Did You Know - Fred's Note: I saw this fascinating comparison of U.S. states to other countries on a variety of different metrics. See if you can guess which rated higher. Check out the answers at the end of today's posting.

• Higher per capita income: Italy or Mississippi?
• Higher infant mortality rate: Sri Lanka or Washington D.C.?
• Higher number of physicians per 10,000 people: Kuwait or Idaho?
• Higher birth rate: Jamaica or Utah?
• Higher number of students per teacher: South Korea or Oregon?
• Higher Hispanic population: Guatemala or California?
• Higher Gross Domestic Product: Nepal or North Dakota?
• Higher unemployment rate: Croatia or Michigan?

Sarah Palin - It was bound to happen. At some point Sarah Palin was going to become an "-ism". Full disclosure: I'm stealing from an editorial written by an author who probably leans a bit left on center on the political spectrum...but, then so do I. Sarah Palin's celebrity is so powerful that it has reduced a large part of the Republican Party to irrationality and civic incoherence. That's laying it on a bit thick, don't you think? She couldn't possibly be that influential. According to a recent poll, Republicans are more likely to say they would seriously consider voting for Palin for President (65%) than to say she is qualified for the job (58%). But wait, there's more. Apparently, some dudes in the White House with way too much time on their hands have coined a phrase for this disturbing phenomenon. What Obama advisers privately refer to as "Palinism" has created a climate of ideological purity inside the GOP. To deviate from the anti-Obama line at all--that is, to acknowledge that politics is the art of compromise--risks the censure of the party. The editorial goes into more detail, but you get the idea. Apparently, ideology trump rational thought. Seriously, how could you possibly explain voting for someone that you don't this is qualified to be the leader of the free world. I appreciate the fact that being able to see Russia from your house, counts for a lot, but still...what could you possibly be thinking?

Word of the Year - I guess it all depends on who you ask. "Admonish", a verb dating to the 14th century meaning "to express warning or disapproval in a gentle, earnest, or solicitous manner," generated enough curiosity to crown it Merriam-Webster's Word of the Year for 2009. It beat out several other finalists that emerged the "intersection of news and vocabulary." Runners-up included inaugurate, pandemic, furlough and rogue — the latter tied to Sarah Palin and the sole carryover from the 2008 list. Other dictionary makers and groups also announce Words of the Year, using different methodology. The New Oxford American Dictionary chose "unfriend," the act of removing someone as a friend on Facebook or other social networking site. Oxford uses a committee of lexicographers and other experts to select a word that is not currently in the dictionary but will be added. Merriam-Webster, on the other hand, selects among existing entries based on Web site traffic. And for those of you who don't trust those shady dictionary publishers, there is the American Dialect Society. Though, these guys need a few more weeks to weigh in on their Word of the Year--though rumor has it that they will go with "unfriend". I did some checking--because, I too clearly have too much time on my hands--and it turns out that this American Dialect Society is pretty hardcore about its words. They also came up with the "Word of the 1990s" (web), "Word of the 20th Century" (jazz), and "Word of the Past Millennium" (she). Seems to me they, too, need to find more productive uses of their time.

Did You Know - Okay, let's see how well you did. The common thread among all these comparisons was to highlight how closely the conditions in some U.S. states mirror those of other countries...at least from a statistical perspective.

• Higher per capita income: Italy ($30,250) or Mississippi ($30,399)
• Higher infant mortality rate: Sri Lanka (11/1,000 births) or Washington D.C. (11.26)
• Higher number of physicians per 10,000 people: Kuwait (18) or Idaho (17.9)
• Higher birth rate: Jamaica (20.8/1,000 people) or Utah (21)
• Higher number of students per teacher: South Korea (21.1) or Oregon (21.3)
• Higher Hispanic population: Guatemala (13 million) or California (13.5 million)
• Higher Gross Domestic Product: Nepal ($31.1 billion) or North Dakota ($31.2 billion)
• Higher unemployment rate: Croatia (14.2%) or Michigan (14.7%)

What Caught My Eye Today

Russia - Mikhail Kalashnikov, the man who invented the AK-47 assault rifle has won Russia's highest honor--Hero of the Russian Federation. Presenting the award to Kalashnikov on his 90th birthday, Prsident Dmitri Medvedev said the AK-47 was "a national brand that makes each citizen proud." Sort of the Russian version of the Smith & Wesson...I guess. Kalashnikov himself expressed mixed emotions, saying he regretted that his rifle was "sometimes used where it shouldn't have been." The AK-47 is the weapon of choice for guerrilla groups, because it is easy to take apart and won't jam in sandy or wet conditions. Meaning it can kill people no matter how inept the person pulling the trigger happens to be. Nonetheless, I do feel for this guy a little bit. More than 100 million AK-47s have been sold worldwide and the inventor never got a single royalty check. Moral considerations and karma aside, this guy got hosed on this deal. It's this sort of thing that, in my humble opinion, will always doom communism to failure. People want to get paid fairly for what they produce. Think about it, if this guy had invented the AK-47 in Sweden, we'd probably have a bunch of Kalashnikov laureates, in addition to those Nobel prize winners. Royalties on guns certainly would have been at least as much as what was paid for a few sticks of dynamite.

Mexico - Mexican security forces have unearthed an elaborate 400-foot tunnel connecting Tijuana to the U.S.--indicating just how sophisticated human- and drug-smuggling operations have become in the region. I'm not so sure about that. For my money, this is more of an indication that the border patrols on both side are woefully understaffed or blind as bats. Dude, it's a freakin' tunnel! What, nobody noticed the massive amounts of dirt being excavated from the ground? It's not like this was a hastily built tunnel either. Check this out. The unfinished tunnel which starts in a building near the Tijuana airport has a lighting and ventilation system, is wood-lined, and roomy enough for a 6-footer to walk through without having to crouch. I hear they were working out a deal for a McDonald's as well, before they got busted by the 'federales'.

Egypt - Italian archaeologists believe they have unearthed the remains of 50,000 Persian soldiers killed in a freak sandstorm 2,500 years ago. Really? That's a pretty big find. The Greek historian Herodotus wrote about the lost army of King Cambyses II, sent to conquer Egypt in 525 B.C. "A wind arose from the south, strong and deadly, bringing with it vast columns of whirling sand which entirely covered up the troops and caused them wholly to disappear." Most modern historians though the story was made up. Can you blame them? Admittedly, technology has evolved a bit in the past 2,500 years, but it is still rather difficult to imagine that a sand storm wiped out a 50,000 soldier army.

Visual Impairment - A visually impaired man is suing the Sony Corporation for not making its video games accessible to blind people. No no. You read that right. The man claims in his lawsuit that the Americans With Disabilities Act entitles him to "full and equal enjoyment" of Sony's products, but that the company has so far "constructed the products in a way that blind people cannot enjoy." Um, okay. So like seeing as you filed the lawsuit, what would you recommend the folks at Sony do to make those video games more appealing to blind people?

What Caught My Eye Today

Sarah Palin - Guess who wrote herself one whopper of book? Shockingly, there are some, like the Associated Press, that question the validity of some of the claims made in the tome. Sarah Palin's new book reprises familiar claims from the 2008 presidential campaign that haven't become any truer over time. Ignoring substantial parts of her record if not the facts, she depicts herself as a frugal traveler on the taxpayer's dime, a reformer without ties to powerful interests and a politician roguishly indifferent to high ambition. Clearly this is just another pathetic attempt by leftist liberals to smear the reputation of a true-blue American. I cannot imagine what these whack jobs could possibly question about Palin. Let's see what they came up with.

• Claim: Palin rails against taxpayer-financed bailouts, which she attributes to Obama. She recounts telling daughter Bristol that to succeed in business, "you'll have to be brave enough to fail."
  Fact: Palin is blurring the lines between Obama's stimulus plan and the federal bailout that Republican presidential candidate John McCain voted for and President George W. Bush signed
• Claim: Palin says Ronald Reagan faced an even worse recession than the one that appears to be ending now, and "showed us how to get out of one. If you want real job growth, cut capital gains taxes and slay the death tax once and for all."
  Fact: The estate tax, which some call the death tax, was not repealed under Reagan and capital gains taxes are lower now than when Reagan was president. Economists overwhelmingly say the current recession is far worse. The recession Reagan faced lasted for 16 months; this one is in its 23rd month. The recession of the early 1980s did not have a financial meltdown. Unemployment peaked at 10.8%, worse than the October 2009 high of 10.2%, but the jobless rate is still expected to climb.
• Claim: Palin says Obama has admitted that the climate change policy he seeks will cause people's electricity bills to "skyrocket."
  Fact: In January 2008, Obama told San Francisco Chronicle editors that under his cap-and-trade climate proposal, "electricity rates would necessarily skyrocket" as utilities are forced to retrofit coal burning power plants to reduce carbon dioxide emissions. Democratic legislation now before Congress calls for a variety of measures aimed at mitigating consumer costs. Several studies predict average household costs probably would be $100 to $145 a year.
• Claim: In describing her resistance to federal stimulus money, Palin describes Alaska as a practical, libertarian haven of independent Americans who don't want "help" from government busybodies.
  Fact: Alaska is one of the states most dependent on federal subsidies, receiving much more assistance from Washington than it pays in federal taxes. A study for the nonpartisan Tax Foundation found that in 2005, the state received $1.84 for every dollar it sent to Washington.

See? They got nothing. Nothing at all.

Iran - Iran's Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei cannot be removed from his post because his legitimacy comes from God. Sure it was. Perhaps I should give them the benefit of the doubt. Seriously, who would make such an outlandish claim without some basis in fact to back that statement up? A Khamenei representative in the elite Revolutionary Guards, told a gathering of Khamenei's representatives in Iranian universities that the clerical body that chose him, the Assembly of Experts, could not remove him. "The members of the assembly ... do not appoint the Supreme Leader, rather they discover him and it is not that they would be able to remove him any time they wish so." I stand corrected. In theory, Khamenei can be removed by the 86-man Assembly of Experts, which approved him as successor to Ayatollah Khomeini in 1989. But the system has never been tested. And in reality, it probably never will be.

Russia - Russia's President Dmitry Medvedev has proposed reducing the number of time zones spanning his vast country. He did not say by how many, but Russia currently has 11 time zones. President Medvedev said, when he raised the issue in his state of the nation speech, that Russians had "traditionally been accustomed to feeling a pride" in how many time zones the country had "because to us it seemed a vivid illustration of the greatness of our motherland". Makes sense, if you think about it. It's not like these poor slobs have any awful lot to cheer about these days. "Screw those capitalist Western pigs. Those puny countries have only one timezone. Even the Americans can only boast of 5. Mother Russia has 11. Who's the man now?" A spokesperson for Royal Observatory in Greenwich says it is not actually very difficult to go about changing a country's time zones. "The most important thing is to make sure that everyone knows about it. If that is done, there shouldn't be any problems whatsoever," he said. No problems whatsoever? Right. I'll believe it when I see it.

Sexual Harassment - Florida police say a man arrested for repeatedly calling 911 looking for sex claimed it was the only number he could dial after running out of cell phone minutes. So that rumor about 911 operators being hot and horny is true? You hear about such things as plots in adult movies, but never in a million years would I have imagined that there was something to this. Tampa police said the caller made sexual comments to the 911 dispatcher and asked if he could come to her house. Investigators say she hung up, but he called back four more times. You go, boyfriend. Everyone knows "no" really means "yes". He was arrested about 15 minutes later at his home and charged with making a false 911 call. The man reportedly told officers that he didn't think he would get in trouble for calling 911. Dude, you know that 911 calls are tracked from the source of the call, right? Didn't think this one all the way through did you, spark plug?

What Caught My Eye Today

China - An attempt to relieve a severe drought in China has apparently worked too well. This should be good. Meteorologists shot silver iodide into clouds near Beijing hoping to cause rain--but what they got instead was an 11-hour blizzard that buried the city in snow, stranding millions of commuters. Forgive me, I cannot resist...You know what they say--"when it rains, it pours." Still, the Weather Modification Office declared its action a success. There is an official government agency for this sort of thing? Scientists in other countries are skeptical saying that the effectiveness of cloud seeded is uncertain, because nobody can prove that it wouldn't have snowed or rained even without the silver iodide. Sounds like sour grapes to me. Why would the government invest in something that didn't work?

Ohio - Here's a novel approach to dealing with crime. Police in Columbus, Ohio have started telling crime-weary residents to move somewhere else. At least 20 residents told the City Council that when they called police about drug dealing and other crimes, the cops responded, "Why don't you move out if you don't like it." You have to admire their moxie, if nothing else. A spokesperson for the police department, said the police officers are suffering from overwork and frustration. I think the police are onto something here. If the residents don't like where they live anymore, they should look for someplace else to live. I hear there are lots of vacancies in Detroit.

Ethics - More than 30 members of Congress, including nearly half the members of the the House Appropriations Sub-Committee on Defense, are being scrutinized for possible ethics violations. I appreciate the fact that not all news is surprising, but this seems so obvious that it hardly seems to qualify as news. Several of the inquiries involve cases in which lawmakers provided legislation favorable to lobbyists who had given them campaign contributions. Again...duh. What motivation would lawmakers have to favors for lobbyists that didn't suck up to them? Should you be interested, at least 25 Democrats and 7 Republicans are under review.

India - Let's see what the 4-1-1 is on my favorite sub-continent. An Indian man is suing the makers of Axe body spray, claiming that in seven years of using the product he has yet to find a girlfriend. I do so love this country; so ripe with material. The 26-year old man says that Axe's racy marketing campaign lead him to believe the product had love-potion properties and is seeking $40,000 in damages. "The company cheated me," he said. "It says women will be attracted to you if you use Axe. I used it for seven years but no girl came to me." Already then. In no particular order, here are my gut reactions to this luckless soul. #1 - Dude, it's an advertisement. What did you expect them to say? #2 - Yeah, blame the body spray. That's problem. It's definitely not you. And finally, #3 - I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but from the sound of things, I'm not sure there is a potent enough love-potion in existence to help you out, bro'.

Poetry - Christopher Walken performs Lady Gaga's "Poker Face" as a spoken-word poem (click here). The funniest bit I have seen Walken do since the Cowbell skit on Saturday Night Live (click here). Judge for yourselves. Dude puts Lady Gaga's original to shame if you ask me.

What Caught My Eye Today

Ethiopia - Finally, Ethiopia has something to brag about that the rest of us don't have--a new ocean. Researchers now confirm that a 35-mile rift in the desert of Ethiopia that first appeared in 2005 will likely become a new ocean eventually. There's something you don't hear everyday. A new study finds the processes creating the rift are nearly identical to what goes on at the bottom of oceans, further indication a sea is in the region's future. Using newly gathered seismic data from 2005, researchers reconstructed the event to show the rift tore open along its entire 35-mile length in just days. Dabbahu, a volcano at the northern end of the rift, erupted first, then magma pushed up through the middle of the rift area and began "unzipping" the rift in both directions. The result shows that highly active volcanic boundaries along the edges of tectonic ocean plates may suddenly break apart in large sections, instead of in bits, as the leading theory held. And such sudden large-scale events on land pose a much more serious hazard to populations living near the rift than would several smaller events. I'm pretty sure that is geologist speak for "when this ocean thing goes down, you don't want to be anywhere near Ethiopia.

National Pride - Or in this case, lack thereof... A new Gallup poll suggests that some 700 million people worldwide, or more than all the adults of North and South America combined, think the grass is greener on the other side of the fence and want to permanently move to another country. Ordinarily, I would find this statement rather intriguing, but like some many other news stories, the headline is a bit deceiving. On average, 38% of the adult population in sub-Saharan Africa, or around 165 million people, said they would up stakes and head for another country if they had the chance. Gee whiz, that is a surprise. Who would have imagined that constant civil war and famine would be cause enough for people to want to re-locate? The most popular destination was the United States, where nearly a quarter of the 700 million -- around 165 million people -- said they would like to settle. Yeah, let's see how much they want to come here after they see the health care system that we have. In joint second were Britain, Canada and France, each being named as the preferred destination of around 45 million people. Thirty-five million said they would go to Spain, 30 million to Saudi Arabia, and 25 million each to Australia or Germany. How refreshing is it that not a single Scandinavian country is mentioned here? Seriously, those guys always seem to top lists like this. The least likely to want to emigrate were Asians -- only one in 10 Asian adults said they would move to another country. Makes sense. Being the most populous continent by a large margin over everywhere else, one would assume there is something desirable about staying put. I cannot for the life of me figure out what that might be, but what do I know.

Armageddon - This topic has always fascinated me. Not that I have a death wish or anything like that. I just find it help put all this other day-to-day nonsense in proper perspective. As you may know the latest prediction for the end of life as we know it is right around the corner in 2012 with the end of the Mayan calendar. Now before you start getting your affairs in order (or plan the life-ending bender), consider these previous doomsday predictions:

• The Prophet Hen of Leeds, 1806 -A hen in the English town of Leeds in 1806 appeared to be laying eggs on which the phrase "Christ is coming" was written. Many people became convinced that doomsday was at hand - until a curious local actually watched the hen laying one of the prophetic eggs and discovered someone had hatched a hoax.
  Don't you hate it when someone with half a brain spoils all of our paranoia by asked a dumb question like, "did someone actually check the eggs to see if anything was written on them?"
• The Millerites, April 23, 1843 - A New England farmer named William Miller, after several years of very careful study of his Bible, concluded that God's chosen time to destroy the world could be divined from a strict literal interpretation of scripture and determined the world would end some time between March 21, 1843 and March 21, 1844. When April 23 arrived (but Jesus didn't) the group eventually disbanded; some of them forming what is now the Seventh Day Adventists.
  Miss a prediction, start a religion. I'd say this dude did alright for himself.
• Halley's Comet, 1910 - In 1881, an astronomer discovered through spectral analysis that comet tails include a deadly gas called cyanogen (related, as the name implies, to cyanide). This was of only passing interest until someone realized that Earth would pass through the tail of Halley's comet in 1910. There was speculation that everyone on the planet would be bathed in deadly toxic gas, resulting in a widespread panic across the United States and abroad. Finally even-headed scientists explained that there was nothing to fear.
  Of course, before this revelation came up, the newspaper publishers that dreamt this rumor up had sold a whole heapload of papers to a very gullible public.
• Pat Robertson, 1982 - In May 1980, televangelist and Christian Coalition founder Pat Robertson startled and alarmed many when - contrary to Matthew 24:36 ("No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven...") he informed his "700 Club" TV show audience around the world that he knew when the world would end. "I guarantee you by the end of 1982 there is going to be a judgment on the world," Robertson said.
  And indeed there was judgement. The verdict: Those of you dumb enough to be dupped by this guy are guilty as charged for diluting the gene pool.
• Nostradamus, August 1999 - One of the most famous predictions of Michel de Nostrdam read, "The year 1999, seventh month / From the sky will come great king of terror." Many Nostradamus devotees grew concerned that this was the famed prognosticator's vision of Armageddon.
  That's just plain bunk. Everyone knows that the seventh month is July, not August. Duh.
• Y2K, Jan. 1, 2000 - As the last century drew to a close, many people grew concerned that computers might bring about doomsday. The problem, first noted in the early 1970s, was that many computers would not be able to tell the difference between 2000 and 1900 dates. No one was really sure what that would do, but many suggested catastrophic problems ranging from vast blackouts to nuclear holocaust. Gun sales jumped and survivalists prepared to live in bunkers, but the new millennium began with only a few glitches.
  Yeah, the poop didn't really hit the fan until 2001.
• May 5, 2000 - In case the Y2K bug didn't do us in, global catastrophe was assured by Richard Noone, author of the 1997 book "5/5/2000 Ice: the Ultimate Disaster." According to Noone, the Antarctic ice mass would be three miles thick by May 5, 2000 - a date in which the planets would be aligned in the heavens, somehow resulting in a global icy death.
  I'm assuming boy wonder didn't get the memo on global warming.

What Caught My Eye Today

Afghanistan - Try to keep up with me, this gets a bit confusing. Hamid Karzai has been re-elected as Afghanistan's president after a run-off vote was canceled. Afghanistan's government-appointed Independent Election Commission (IEC) called off the November 7 presidential run-off, a day after Karzai's only rival, former foreign minister Abdullah Abdullah, withdrew citing doubts it would be a fair vote. The commission was concerned a one-candidate race would raise concerns about the legitimacy of the presidency. Sure they were. Bear in mind that the reason for the run off election in the first place was the first vote results were deemed to be tainted by the aforementioned IEC. So basically, the dude that claimed foul in the first election got the run off he was looking for, but decided to quit the race, because he thought the results would be equally flawed in a second election. But that's not the weird part of this story. U.N. Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon, visiting Kabul today, congratulated Karzai as did U.S. President Barack Obama and British Prime Minister Gordon Brown. Let me see if I've got this right. Karzai wins the first election based on dubious--at best--results. Then dude is basically handed a second term after his sole opponent drops out of the race saying that nothing has been done to prevent the same thing from happening again. And then--and this is the head scratcher--the international community lines up to congratulate Karzai on his triumphant win. Seriously, what gives?

Catholicism - I'm torn between calling this latest ploy by the Catholic Church tactless or just plain desperate. Pope Benedict XVI announced that he would make it easier for Anglicans to convert to Catholicism. The Church of England split from Rome back in 1534, and the two denominations have kept an uneasy truce over the years. but the Anglican Church's recent acceptance of female priests and openly gay bishops has offended many traditionalists. the Vatican will now allow disaffected Anglicans to retain many of their customs--including allowing priests to marry--if they recognize the pope as their supreme leader. Of course, those of us that have been loyal Catholics throughout, don't receive any of these courtesies, but that's a separate discussion. Dude, you are pandering for followers. Where's your pride, man? You know what? I'm not torn anymore. This announcement is both tactless and desperate. As a brief sidebar, I came across an article about Nones--people who say "None" when asked their religious affiliation--and the fact that a growing number of the population (almost 15%) aren't merely rejecting religion, they aren't thinking about it at all. I can see why.

Randomness - Turns out the executive decision maker--also know as the ubiquitous "coin toss"--isn't all that impartial after all. Researchers found that a coin flip favors whichever side of the coin was facing up when the flip was initiated, landing on that side as much as 60% of the time. I knew it! There is no way I could have lost all those "decisions" based solely on chance. No one has luck that lousy.

Juris Prudence - Here's another example of taxpayer dollars hard at work keeping the wheels of justice turning. Parents: you may want to send the children out of the room for this one; it isn't pretty. A Florida man failed to win compensation for a "defective" pair of underwear. The man claimed in his lawsuit that over a two-week vacation in Hawaii, the fly flap of his briefs rubbed his genitals like "sandpaper belts." His words, not mine. But wait, it gets better. When asked by the judge why he didn't notice sooner, the 285-pound man said he cannot see his own genitals, and he didn't ask his wife to look because it might "ruin her vacation." I've re-read this story a couple of times, and it seems to get funnier every time.

What Caught My Eye Today

Afghanistan - I have a two-fer for you today. Maybe the news will be good for a change. President Barack Obama heard the opinions of the Pentagon top brass on a commander's troop request for Afghanistan. Army General Stanley McChrystal said the war was deteriorating and he recommended as many as 40,000 more U.S. troops for Afghanistan along with a major effort to train Afghan security forces and improve relations with Afghan civilians. Obama and his national security team have been debating options for weeks, ranging from a massive troop increase to a strategy that relies less on troop numbers and more on unmanned drone aircraft to attack al Qaeda targets that are mostly located in Pakistan. The president has dismissed charges from some conservatives, such as former Vice President Dick Cheney, that he has been dithering over what to do about the 8-year-old war while a Taliban offensive has continued apace and U.S. casualties have increased. I'm leaning toward siding with Obama on this one, but not for the reason that you may think. One could argue that after 8 years and no sort of victory on the horizon, that a serious re-thinking of strategy is long overdue. Perhaps. No, I'm siding with Obama mostly because Dick Cheney has taken the opposing view. And if Cheney is of the opinion that Obama is doing something wrong, then, to me, that is a clear sign that Obama is on the right track to success.

Still that doesn't exactly qualify as good news does it? Let's look at the second Afghan headline de jour. Surely, that will contain good news.

Election talks between Afghan President Hamid Karzai and his rival Abdullah Abdullah have broken down and Abdullah said likely announce he will boycott the November 7 run-off vote. Or not. The run-off between Karzai and Abdullah was triggered by a U.N.-led investigation into the first round of voting in August that found widespread fraud in favor of Karzai and comes as U.S. President Barack Obama weighs whether to send thousands more troops to Afghanistan. And here's where we add insult to injury. Part of Obama's logic for not announcing a new U.S. strategy in Afghanistan is that he wants to get the Afghan government (whoever that might be) on board with the plan that he rolls out. Rightly so, any strategy that the U.S. tries to implement must include the support of the Afghan government and the people it represents. If this election mess isn't sorted out, then it won't really matter what strategy Obama goes with, because it will probably be doomed to fail.

Colombia - Colombia and the United States signed an agreement Friday that allows U.S. personnel to be stationed at seven military bases in the South American nation. The United States says it needs the bases to help in its fight against terrorists and narcotraffickers, especially since the closure a few months ago of a U.S. base in Ecuador. The United States maintains similar "forward operating locations" in El Salvador and Aruba-Curacao. I'll give you three guesses--but you'll only need one--as to who got his knickers in a bunch after the deal was announced. Colombia's agreement to host the Americans has come under harsh criticism in Latin America, particularly from President Hugo Chavez in neighboring Venezuela. Chavez has likened the agreement to an act of war and accuses the United States of wanting to stage military personnel nearby to destabilize his leftist government. Dude, I think you can destabilize your own government without any help from us. The United States linked Colombia's agreement to a trade pact the South American nation wants. Colombia also stands to gain from U.S. help in the nation's 45-year-old war against Marxist guerrillas known as the Revolutionary Armed Forces of Colombia, commonly called FARC. From where I sit, anything that pisses off Chavez is justification enough to proceed with it. I suppose that other stuff--you know, trade and national security--is all well and good, but you had me sold with the Chavez hissy fit.

Poland - A crew member aboard a U.S. Navy ship accidentally fired a machine gun into the Polish port city of Gdynia on Wednesday while cleaning the weapon. Don't you just hate it when you are doing your job, minding your own business, then BAM, you start an international incident. Three rounds were fired from an M240 machine gun, aboard the USS Ramage, a Navy destroyer, into the town but no injuries or damage were reported. That's good, but I still think this dude is going to find himself peeling a lot of potatoes after this episode.

We'll wrap up with this little gem, carrying on with that nautical theme...

Cruise Ships - There's a personal connection to this story.The world's largest cruise ship (5 times larger than the Titanic) is finally finished and began its trip toward its home port in Florida. The Oasis of the Seas has 2,700 cabins and can accommodate 6,300 passengers and 2,100 crew members. Company officials are banking that its novelty will help guarantee its success. The enormous ship features various "neighborhoods" — parks, squares and arenas with special themes. One of them will be a tropical environment, including palm trees and vines among the total 12,000 plants on board. They will be planted after the ship arrives in Fort Lauderdale. In the stern, a 750-seat outdoor theater — modeled on an ancient Greek amphitheater — doubles as a swimming pool by day and an ocean front theater by night. The pool has a diving tower with spring boards and two 33-foot high-dive platforms. An indoor theater seats 1,300 guests. So about that personal connection--here it is. I'm going to be this gargantuan tub next February. Sure, this ship is bordering on absurdly big (click here), but call me crazy; I'd rather be here with 6,300 other nut cases than trolling away at my day job.

What Caught My Eye Today

Recession - Apparently, the recession is over. Before you start mocking me let me remind you that I just report the news...I don't make this nonsense up. One last thing. I got this particular item from the BBC, so I'm pretty sure it is a legitimate story, as opposed to the stuff I usual get from The Onion. The US economy grew at an annual pace of 3.5% between July and September, its first expansion in more than a year. It is the first time the US economy has expanded since the second quarter of 2008, when it grew at an annual pace of 2.4%. Sounds promising, don't it? Of course there is always the contrarian view. Analysts cautious about the slow nature of the U.S. economic recovery point to the fact that the unemployment rate currently stands at 9.8%, and that the labor market traditionally lags behind any wider economic recovery. They also highlight the fact that the big car firms have already reported a sharp fall in September sales following the conclusion of the popular $3 billion cash for clunkers program at the end of August. What a bunch of kill joys. I for one applauded the news...right after I got home from picking up my unemployment check and being informed by my bank that my mortgage isn't worth the paper it is printed on.

H1N1 - Also known as "Swine Flu" Scientists at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention estimate that between 1.8 million and 5.7 million Americans were infected from mid-April through July 23. The figures are the CDC's most specific calculation to date. Yikes. That sounds like an awful lot. To come up with the numbers, the scientists assumed that most people infected with swine had only mild illnesses and did not get medical care or get tested. For every confirmed case, they estimated that probably 80 others occurred. And for every confirmed hospitalization, there were probably three others. 80? Okay, that sound like an awful lot too. I'm curious just how reliable that estimate really is. I mean, these dudes could be off by a factor of 80. That's more than just a rounding error, don't you think?

Turkmenistan - The United States has in recent months sought to improve relations with Turkmenistan, the secretive former Soviet possession that is home to rich oil and gas deposits and straddles a strategically vital central Asian location, sharing borders with both Iran and Afghanistan. I remember a simpler time when the United States wanted to improve relations with other countries because it was the right thing to do. Sigh. Now I imagine that the reason this made the news today is because the process has hit a bit of a snag. those efforts are being complicated by a government campaign against students seeking to study at the American University of Central Asia), located in Bishkek, Kyrgyzstan. Some students have been barred from travelling abroad to the school and others have been subject to surveillance and harassment when they come home. Observers say that the Turkmen regime has become wary of US educational outreach, seeing it as an effort to slip U.S.-style democracy through the back door as politically engaged students return home. Honestly, what have the Americans done to warrant that sort of skepticism? Turkmenistan's major hydrocarbon reserves and its agreement to assist with NATO's Afghan northern supply route have helped mute US criticism of the regime. See what I mean? They have natural resources that we want. The last thing we're going to do is risk access to them over a little thing like human rights. These dudes are way too paranoid.

Fred's Note: This last item goes out to my sister on the very happy occasion of her birthday. You go, girl.

October 29 - For those of you who keep track of such things... October 29 is the 302nd day of the year (303rd in leap years) in the Gregorian calendar. There are 63 days remaining until the end of the year. Here are a few notable events that have taken place on this date since sis graced us with her presence way back in...

• 1983 – Over 500,000 people demonstrate against cruise missiles in The Hague, The Netherlands.
• 1991 – The American Galileo spacecraft makes its closest approach to 951 Gaspra, becoming the first probe to visit an asteroid.
• 1994 – Francisco Martin Duran fires over two dozen shots at the White House (Duran is later convicted of trying to kill US President Bill Clinton).
• 1998 – Apartheid: In South Africa, the Truth and Reconciliation Commission presents its report, which condemns both sides for committing atrocities.
• 1998 – Space Shuttle Discovery blasts off on STS-95 with 77-year old John Glenn on board, making him the oldest person to go into space.
• 1998 – Hurricane Mitch, the second deadliest Atlantic hurricane in history, makes landfall in Honduras.
• 2004 – The Arabic news network Al Jazeera broadcasts an excerpt from a video of Osama bin Laden in which the terrorist leader first admits direct responsibility for the September 11, 2001 attacks and references the 2004 U.S. presidential election.

And here are a few unworthy losers fortunate enough to say they share a birthday with sis:

• 1017 – Henry III, Holy Roman Emperor (he's dead now)
• 1943 – Don Simpson, American film producer (him too)
• 1947 – Richard Dreyfuss, American actor (hey, we have a live one)
• 1957 – Dan Castellaneta, American voice actor, Best known as the voice of Homer Simpson
• 1961 – Randy Jackson, American musician (from American Idol fame)
• 1971 – Winona Ryder, American actress
• 1981 – Amanda Beard, American swimmer (the fact that she is smokin' hot has nothing to do with me listing her here...I swear)

What Caught My Eye Today

Cuba - The U.N. General Assembly on Wednesday overwhelmingly condemned the U.S. trade embargo on Cuba, an annual ritual that highlights global opposition to the policy. This year's vote was 187-3 in opposition to the embargo, up from 185-3 last year, with only Israel and the tiny Pacific island nation of Palau supporting the United States. It was the 18th year in a row that the General Assembly has taken up the symbolic measure, with Washington steadily losing what little support it once had. I'm reminded of the old saying, "if a tree falls down in the forest and there is no one there to see it, did the tree make a sound?" Not that the United States has cared much about what the United Nations says--and why should we? We have Israel and Palau on our side. I think we're set--, but honestly, this is starting to get embarrassing. I'm pretty sure the ship has sailed on any hopes we had for what these embargoes were supposed to accomplish. Cuba is a communist state. Perhaps we should contemplate acknowledging that reality and move on.

Russia - Russia's space agency is planning to build a new spaceship with a nuclear engine. The preliminary design could be ready by 2012 and then it is expected to take nine more years and 17 billion rubles ($600 million, 400 million euros) to build the ship. Compared to what we spend on our rockets, $600 million sounds like a bargain to me. The proposal sounded more like a plea for extra government funds than a detailed proposal. Russia is using 40-year old Soyuz booster rockets and capsules to send crews to the International Space Station. The Russian space agency also has mulled over prospective future missions to the moon and Mars, but hasn't yet set a specific time frame yet. You know, you could swap out the Russian Space Agency with NASA, and this story would pretty much read the same.

Which gives us a nice transition into this next story...

Rockets - NASA's newest rocket successfully completed a brief test flight Wednesday, the first step in a back-to-the-moon program that could yet be shelved by the White House. Nearly twice the height of the spaceship it's supposed to replace — the shuttle — the skinny experimental rocket carried no passengers or payload, only throwaway ballast and hundreds of sensors. The flight cost $445 million. Remember that is the cost of a two minute trial flight. The Russians claim they can build a production ready rocket for just $600 million. NASA said the flight was a tremendous success, based on early indications. You don't say? I'm thinking, short of the rocket blowing up on the launchpad, NASA officials were going to claim victory no matter what happened. They need all the positive PR they can muster to convince the White House not to kill the program altogether. NASA contends the Ares I will be ready to carry astronauts to the International Space Station in 2015, four to five years after the shuttles are retired. But a panel of experts said in a report to President Barack Obama last week that it will be more like 2017, and stressed that the entire effort is underfunded. The first Ares moon trip would be years beyond that under the current plan. Mind you that this plan has been ripped to shreds by the aforementioned expert panel assembled by the Obama Administration to plot a future course for NASA.

Tennis - Eight-times grand slam winner Andre Agassi left the tennis world in a state of shock when he admitted using the recreational drug crystal meth and lying to men's governing body the Association of Tennis Professionals (ATP) to escape a ban. In his autobiography, Agassi candidly describes being introduced to the drug in 1997 when his career was in freefall. Agassi, remembers receiving a phone call from a doctor working for the ATP who informed him that he had failed a drugs test. He said the ATP threw out the case against him after he concocted a story that he had accidentally drunk a soda spiked with crystal meth belonging to Slim. Agassi's admission that he took drugs casts a shadow over a player widely regarded as one of the greatest ever while it also exposes the ATP's lack of strict doping controls at the time. Don't take this as justification of Agassi's actions, but perhaps we should look at the bigger picture here. Agassi did not set out to be a role model; the dude wanted to win. It was the fans that gave him that mantle. Agassi entertained the fans not unlike Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa in their epic home run battle of 1998. And after he retired, Agassi used his fame to promote the Andre Agassi Charitable Foundation which helps disadvantage children in Las Vegas. My point is that Agassi made a poor choice during a rather dark period in his life (who among us hasn't?). Now that Agassi is coming clean about his past, does that undo all the things that he's done right?

Baseball - The World Series starts today with defending champions, the Philadelphia Phillies taking on the New York Yankees in a best of seven series. I pretty much hate baseball (yes, I know, how un-American of me), but I feel compelled to pick a winner, just to keep things interesting. I'm going with the Phillies in 6 games, mostly because I hate the Yankees, but also because they've already bought themselves--I mean won--26 championships (out of the 40 they've played in). The next closest team is the St. Louis Cardinals with 10 (out of 17). Go Philly.

What Caught My Eye Today - The "That's a Shame" Edition

Fred's Note: Every once and a while the stars line up and you get an assortment of stories that leave you shaking your head in disbelief and muttering to yourself, "That's a shame". This is one of those occasions.

Africa - This year's Ibrahim Prize for Achievement in African Leadership goes to...nobody. That sounds a bit harsh, doesn't it? The $5 million award is given annually to an African leader who has exhibited the strongest commitment to democracy and good governance and, crucially, has left office within the last three years. Many of Africa's rulers have been in power for decades and show no signs of retiring. I stand corrected. That first bit wasn't as harsh as I thought. This part, on the other hand... The committee that awards the prize said that "after in-depth review," it simply "could not select a winner." Ouch.

Saudi Arabia - Saudi Arabia legalized handgun ownership this week, in an effort to curb a thriving black market. This is the best they could come up with? The Interior Ministry announced that it would begin licensing gun shops to sell handguns and other personal firearms. Some Saudis are skeptical of the new right to bear arms. "We can't even adhere to traffic regulations," a business owner said. "How can we put guns in the hands of people who have no discipline?" Is it just me or does this scream "train wreck"? And who doesn't like a front row seat to one of those?

Hawaii - In an effort to cut $468 million from the state education budget, Hawaii's teachers have agreed to take Fridays off for the rest of the school year. The plan will give Hawaii's 171,000 public school students the nation's shortest school year, at 163 days. Although teachers say they will try to compress five days of schoolwork into four days each week (yeah, good luck with that), parents are objecting saying it's just not enough time to learn (Translation: "Damn, we're stuck with knucklehead.") Hawaii already trails most states in national education achievement. Really? I wonder why.

Potpourri -

• Hungary - The entire police force of Budaors, Hungary (all 15 of them) resigned after the group won $16 million in the lottery.
• Mexico - Mexico City put 1300 of its heaviest officers on a diet because 70% of the city's 70,000-member police force is overweight.
  Well you have to start somewhere I suppose. That's 1,300 down and only 47,700 to go.
• Italy - an Italian couple sued a cruise line for $4,500 claiming they had not been told they had booked a trip on Italy's first gay cruise. They said they were the only straight people among the 1,500 guests on board, and that the events frequently left them "uncomfortable" and "embarrassed."
  I'll just leave you to your own imaginations on this one.

What Caught My Eye Today

Climate Change - Have you heard that the world is now cooling instead of warming? Actually--no, I haven't. You may have seen some news reports on the Internet or heard about it from a provocative new book. Only one problem: It's not true. Poopy gook. Since when did the truth matter? The case that the Earth might be cooling partly stems from recent weather. Last year was cooler than previous years. It's been a while since the super-hot years of 1998 and 2005. Global warming skeptics base their claims on an unusually hot year in 1998. Since then, they say, temperatures have dropped — thus, a cooling trend. But it's not that simple. Statistics rarely are--but that's what makes them so fascinating...well, to me, at least. Since 1998, temperatures have dipped, soared, fallen again and are now rising once more. Statisticians who analyzed the data found a distinct decades-long upward trend in the numbers, but could not find a significant drop in the past 10 years. The ups and downs during the last decade repeat random variability in data as far back as 1880. Saying there's a downward trend since 1998 is not scientifically legitimate. Of the 10 hottest years recorded by National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA), eight have occurred since 2000, and after this year it will be nine because this year is on track to be the sixth-warmest on record. Let's see the number crunchers refute that little gems, shall we? Yeah, I think I'm going to short the prospects of a new ice age. My money is on global warming.

India - Fred's Note: It occurs to me that I've been giving India more than its fair share of attention of late. Rest assured, I have nothing against India. In fact, I would go as far as to say this should be considered a compliment. Ten years ago, stories like this never would have made the wires. An Air India crew on a flight over Pakistan got into a brawl leaving horrified passengers wondering who was steering the plane. I'm guessing the auto-pilot. The scuffle apparently started after the pilot and co-pilot scolded a female flight attendant for some infraction, and a male flight attendant came to her defense. Witnesses said the pilot and male attendant began pushing and cursing each other at the doorway of the cockpit before slipping into the passenger gangway, where it became a fistfight. Now that's what I call in-flight entertainment. But seriously, here's what I find troubling. Let's say that some passengers got into an altercation that resulting in punches being thrown. Those poor bastards would be taken into custody and face some serious jail time. I smell a double standard here, and I don't like it. I don't like it at all. I say if the dude flying the plane can find the time to brawl with a co-worker, passengers should be given the same latitude. It's not like they're flying the plane.

Air Travel - Of course, India can try to outdo us Americans in doing stupid things, but they have a long, long way to go before they approach our levels of absurdity. Two Northwest Airlines pilots have told federal investigators that they were going over schedules using their laptop computers in violation of company policy while their plane overflew their Minneapolis destination by 150 miles. The pilots said in interviews that they were not fatigued and didn't fall asleep. Instead, they told investigators that they both had their laptops out while the first officer, who had more experience with scheduling, instructed the captain on monthly flight crew scheduling. Ah, well if they had a logical explanation for overshoot their destination by 150 miles, then I guess that makes the oversight okay. And another thing--though admittedly a trivial one--how complicated is that scheduling software that it took an hour for a rather intelligent individual (so I assume) to figure it out? The pilots were out of communication with air traffic controllers and their airline for more than an hour and didn't realize their mistake until contacted by a flight attendant. Many aviation safety experts had said it was more plausible that the pilots had fallen asleep during the cruise phase of their flight. Well, I suppose if you can fall asleep driving a car, then it is conceivable that you could do the same flying a passenger jet. And yet, somehow that doesn't make me feel any better. Air traffic controllers in Denver and Minneapolis repeatedly tried without success to raise the pilots of the San Diego-to-Minneapolis flight by radio. Other pilots in the vicinity tried reaching the plane on other radio frequencies. Their airline tried contacting them using a radio text message that chimes. Maybe someone should have tried "tweeting" them.

Healthcare - Lest you thought that the airline industry held a monopoly on "ridiculous beyond all comprehension" stories, I give you healthcare. The U.S. healthcare system is just as wasteful as President Barack Obama says it is, and proposed reforms could be paid for by fixing some of the most obvious inefficiencies, preventing mistakes and fighting fraud. No way. That would mean that we're wasting over $800 billion a year. That can't be true. According to a Thomson Reuters report, the U.S. healthcare system wastes between $505 billion and $850 billion every year. Oh come on. These guys must be exaggerating. Unnecessary care such as the overuse of antibiotics and lab tests to protect against malpractice exposure makes up 37% of healthcare waste or $200 to $300 billion a year. Really? Fraud makes up 22% of healthcare waste, or up to $200 billion a year in fraudulent Medicare claims, kickbacks for referrals for unnecessary services and other scams. Get out. Administrative inefficiency and redundant paperwork account for 18% of healthcare waste. No way. Medical mistakes account for $50 billion to $100 billion in unnecessary spending each year, or 11% of the total. Jeepers. Preventable conditions such as uncontrolled diabetes cost $30 billion to $50 billion a year. Okay, okay. We get point.

Like I said before, India can try to steal the headlines, but they're still in the minor leagues as far as I'm concerned. Those dudes are going to have to dig deep if they want to challenge the good ol' Stars and Stripes in the colossal blunder department.

What Caught My Eye Today

Obesity - As the United States battles an obesity crisis, ambulance crews are trying to improve how they transport extremely heavy patients, who become significantly more difficult to move as they surpass 350 pounds. And caring for such patients is expensive, requiring costly equipment and extra workers, so some ambulance companies have started charging higher fees for especially overweight people. Transporting extremely heavy people costs about 2 1/2 times as much as normal-weight patients. This is more of a rhetorical question--"normal-weight" according to what metric? It takes more time to move them and requires three to four times more crew members, who often must use expensive specialty equipment. It's not like there isn't precedent for this sort of thing. Those penny pinchers at Southwest Airlines started charging our plus-sized brethren for two seats years ago.

Italy - More than 100,000 women have signed a petition saying they are offended by Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi — an initiative launched by a newspaper after the premier made a sexist remark to an opposition politician. One can only assume the rest of the female population either had not heard about the remark...or didn't care. This is Berlusconi we're talking about, after all. This wouldn't be the first time he said something stupid. Berlusconi made the jab during a call in to a late-night talk show that featured a former minister who dresses conservatively, wears glasses and has short, gray hair. "You are always more beautiful than intelligent," Berlusconi told her. Being a bit of a simpleton, myself, I'd take that as a compliment, but that's just me. Berlusconi has acknowledged he is "no saint" and loves beautiful women, but insists Italians want him that way. Atta boy, Silvio. Embrace your chauvinistic side. That will certainly endear you to the masses.

Space Flight - A special independent panel told the White House that NASA needs to make a major detour on its grand plans to return astronauts to the moon--that NASA has picked the wrong destination with the wrong rocket. Well, at least NASA covered all its bases--wrong plan, wrong planet, wrong rocket. I'd say that's everything. Instead, NASA should be concentrating on bigger rockets and new places to explore saying that it makes more sense to put astronauts on a nearby asteroid or one of the moons of Mars. I vote for Uranus...sorry, I couldn't help myself. The commission wants NASA to extend the life of the space shuttle program and the International Space Station. Space shuttles are due to retire in 2010, but should keep flying until sometime in 2011 because they won't get all their flights to the space station done by that date. Sounds like a good reason to me. And the space station itself — only now nearing completion — should operate until at least 2020, allowing for more scientific experiments, part of its reason for existence. NASA's timetable calls for plunging it into the ocean in 2015. Well, hell if the joint isn't going to be complete until 2010 or 2011, I'd kind of like to see it operational for awhile. Christ, it's take almost 3 times that long just to build the stupid thing.

Computers - Microsoft Corp launched Windows 7 in its most important release for more than a decade, aiming to win back customers after the disappointing Vista and strengthen its grip on the PC market. Oh goodie. The world's largest software company, which powers more than 90% of personal computers, has received good reviews for the new operating system, which it hopes will grab back the impetus in new technology from rivals Apple and Google. Forgive the techno-speak here. Duh! Of course the reviews are going to be better than Vista. When you set the benchmark for improvement that low, you are bound to impress somebody.

Sex - It was the headline that drew my attention, I swear. Why do women have sex? It's an intriguing question once you get beyond the obvious reasons: to perpetuate the species and because it feels good. I thought it was because they were tired of listening to us men begging for it and gave in just to shut us up. University of Texas researchers conducted an online survey of more than 1,000 women ages 18 to 87 and found, to their surprise, that women aren't all that different from men. Right. Call me a skeptic, but I think most men and women could come of with plenty of differences. But that is for another day. Let's see what this bogus survey reveals. The top reason women have sex is because they're attracted to their partner, followed by their seeking of physical gratification. Lower down on the list, the reasons were connected to love or emotional bonding. Many women said they had sex to bring them closer to God. No, I won't comment on this one--too easy. And revenge sex was a big theme--getting back at partners who weren't faithful by having sex with someone else. Yeah, no emotional baggage there. Many women wrote about having sex simply to get another notch on their belt while others engaged in "sympathy sex" because they felt sorry for their mate for any number of reasons. That's always been my ace in hole.

What Caught My Eye Today

Fred's Note: Yeah, yeah, I know. It's been a month since my last posting. I'd like to say that the job has been keeping me busy (which it has) or that the news hasn't been that inspiring (which it hasn't), but the truth of the matter is that I decided to take a break. Now then...what's been going on?

Babies - Ordinarily I'd publish this as a Question of the Week, but I have a backlog of those, plus this is an age old question that apparently can now be answered. Where do babies come from? According to the United Nations Development Proram and the Population Reference Bureau, more than 80% of all babies hail from Africa and Asia, thanks to shy-high fertility rates. Clearly, I'm stupid. I thought babies came from men and women having sex and one of those swimmers managing against all odds to fertilize an egg. Darn it, I knew I should have said Africa. The percentage of world population born in 2009 breaks down as follows:

• Asia - 57.4%
  Seriously, Asia has both China and India. Who can compete with that?
• Africa - 26%
  In some nations the fertility rate tops 7 children per mother. That is a lot of diaper changing.
• Americas - 11.5%
  The U.S. leads rich nations in fertility at 2.1, due mostly to immigrants and unwed mothers. Hey, I'm all for doing whatever it takes to keep Social Security solvent long enough for me to some.
• Europe - 4.6%
  Things are so bad in Europe, governments are offering cash incentive for couples to get knocked up.
• Oceania - 0.5%

Wars - More trivia for you.How long was the Hundred Years' War? One hundred and seventeen to be precise. Bonus points if any can name the combatants (I'll give you the answer in a moment). The war in Iraq has now outlasted World War II, and in March 2010, Afghanistan will pass Vietnam as the longest American ware ever High praise, indeed. Here's how Iraq and Afghanistan stack up against some other notable armed conflicts. You may just want to skip to the next item--this is rather depressing:

• Six-Day War - 6 days (June 5 to June 10, 1967)
  What a clever name!
• Gulf War - 1 month, 13 days (January 19 to February 28, 1991)
• U.S. Civil War - 3 years, 11 months, 29 days (April 12, 1861 to April 9, 1865)
• World War I - 4 years, 3 months, 15 days (July 28, 1914 to November 11, 1918
  And we all know how well that turned out.
• World War II - 6 years, 2 days (September 1, 1939 to September 2, 1945)
• Iraq War - 6 years, 7 months, 2 days (March 20, 2003 to present)
  and counting...
• War in Afghanistan - 8 years, 15 days (Oct 7, 2001 to present)
  still counting...
• American Revolution - 8 years, 4 months, 16 days (April 19, 1775 to September 3, 1783
• Vietnam War - 8 years, 5 months, 21 days (August 7, 1964 to January 27, 1973)
  Personally, I would mind seeing Vietnam retain that title, but I don't see that happening

(So, who has the answer? Shockingly, the French are involved on both sides of the Hundred Years War. The two primary contenders were the House of Valois and the House of Plantagenet fighting over the vacant French throne way back in 1337.)

India - I love these guys--they are so material rich. Indoor plumbing is becoming more common in rural India thanks to the 2-year-old "No toilet, no bride" campaign. Honestly, who could make this stuff up? The government-run campaign, part of an initiative to improve sanitation and combat diseases, urges women to refuse to marry any man who can't offer them a home with a bathroom. Way to set the bar way up there, guys. More than 1 million toilets have been built in the rural north since the campaign was launched. Because of India's frowned upon but still practiced policy of selective abortion of female fetuses, brides are in short supply. So women can afford to be picky. Maybe, just maybe, if they didn't kill the girl babies, women wouldn't be in such short supply. But back to the topic at hand. I wonder you work the phase, "I have a toilet" into a pick-up line (or better yet, a proposal) and still make it sound romantic. I just don't see it.

Driver's Ed - Ozzy Osbourne fially passed his driving test after failing it 18 times. Lucky us. Osbourne credits his reversal of fortune to having successfully given up drinking. He says that on previous attempts to pass the test he would be "walking around the test center with a bottle of vodka in my pocket," and that testing officials always seemed afraid to get in a car with him. Again, lucky us.

What Caught My Eye Today

Samoa - Samoa became the first nation in more than 30 years to switch its driving from one side of the road to the other -- without a single accident. Good for them. At 5:50a.m. the Police Minister made a radio announcement for motorists to stop and then ten minutes later at 6:00a.m. the Prime Minister came on the air ordering all cars to switch sides from right to left; then ten minutes later at 6:10a.m., a final announcement was made to resume driving. The switch was made to bring Samoa in line with the traffic flow in Australia and New Zealand. Seriously, I think credit should be given where credit is due. I say bravo to all three drivers in Samoa for making the transition from right to left in such a seamless manner.

Iran - Iran's president said he is proud to stoke international outrage with his latest remarks denying the Holocaust as he heads for the United Nations this week. Of course he is. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad takes the world stage with a speech later this week to the U.N. General Assembly. Ahmadinejad appears to relish the controversy. Of course he does. This will be his fifth appearance at the annual General Assembly since his first election in 2005. In past years, he has used his U.N. visits to bolster his credentials as a figure of resistance to Israel and American domination — an image that he believes plays well among his conservative supporters in Iran. I'm curious why the U.N. General Assembly continues to allow Ahmadinejad such a platform when it knows full well the nonsense that he is likely to spew. I appreciate that the U.N. has to give all of its members a chance to voice their views on international matters, but this is akin to giving someone a microphone so they can yell "Fire" in a theater just to get a rise out of the crowd.

China - China's military now possesses most of the sophisticated weapon systems found in the arsenals of developed Western nations, the country's defense minister said. "This is an extraordinary achievements that speaks to the level of our military's modernization and the huge change in our country's technological strength." Boy was I way off on this one. I figured dude was going to say something to the effect of, "We've spent billions of yuan and our weapons still suck...which is surprising since its all made in China." However, it would appear that I may not be the only one who views these claims with some skepticism. Some analysts say the claim was likely directed at the Chinese public and exaggerated its technological prowess. No no. That's not possible.

Afghanistan - Police officials from some of Afghanistan's most violent regions questioned the need for more American troops, saying it would increase the perception the U.S. is an occupying power and the money would be better spent on local forces. These guys are worried about a perception problem now? I'm thinking the fact that we've been there for 8 years might have more to do with
the locals view the U.S. as an occupying power. The police were responding to an assessment from General Stanley McChrystal, the top U.S. and NATO commander in Afghanistan, that warned the war was getting worse and could be lost without more troops. President Barack Obama earlier this year approved sending 21,000 more troops to Afghanistan, bringing the total number of U.S. forces to 68,000 by the end of 2009. McChrystal is expected to ask for more troops in coming weeks, but increasing the number risks alienating Afghans, the police officials said. Lucky for Obama, the Afghans are the only ones who have reservations about sending more American troops to fight in a conflict that seems to have no end.

What Caught My Eye Today

Rest in Peace - Patrick Swayze, star of "Dirty Dancing" and "Ghost," died Monday after a battle with pancreatic cancer. He was 57. Both good movies, but for my money "Roadhouse" and "Point Break" were my Swayze flicks. You'll be missed.

Colombia - I don't wish ill on anyone, but it is nice to be reminded of the fact that we all put our pants on one leg at a time and anyone can catch the flu. Colombian President Alvar Uribe has swine flu and and to seek medical attention while attending a town council meeting. His case is mild but concerns have been raised that Uribe may have infected other leaders from the region. He was diagnosed just after returning from a South American summit in Argentina, where he met with 11 other national leaders. I guess that flu vaccine isn't quite ready yet, is it.

Italy - I preface this next story by assuring you that the humor in this story is not directed at the religion. The Italian sports world is debating where devout Muslims make reliable soccer players. Are you serious? The controversy began when the coach of Inter Milan benched one of his players who had been fasting all day for the Muslim holy month of Ramadan. Italian Muslims were outraged, and their anger grew when the owner of another Italian team said he simply wouldn't sign players who observe Ramadan. You would think after everything that the world has gone through over the millenia, that we would have learned a little something about religious tolerance. But no. Instead the fine folks at FIFA had to commission an expert panel to make a statement. Medical experts from FIFA, the world soccer body, to announce that "no serious scientific study" had ever shown a decrease in player performance due to Ramadan fasting. Religion aside, I think it's pretty much common knowledge that if you don't eat, your energy level will be somewhat diminished; and I'm pretty certain that's the case regardless of your religious affiliation. My point here, is that if a soccer player is not performing as well as they can (for whatever reason), being benched is a reasonable response. If the dude was playing at the same level during Ramadan as he was for the rest of the season, I doubt he would have found himself on the bench. As for that rocket scientist who won't sign players because of their religious practices, that dude is a moron, plain and simple.

South Africa - I'm not sure I can top this story with any additional commentary...so I'm not even going to try. Tests show that controversial runner Caster Semenya is a woman ...and a man. The 18-year-old South African champ has no womb or ovaries and her testosterone levels are more than three times higher than those of a normal female, according to reports. The tests, ordered by The International Association of Athletics Federations after Semenya's 800-meter victory in the World Championships, determined she's a hermaphrodite - having both male and female organs. Semenya could be stripped of the gold medal she won in Berlin last month and her competitive future is in limbo, according to Australia's Daily Telegraph. The athletics governing body is also expected to advise her to have surgery to fix the potentially deadly condition. Seriously, how do you top a story like that.

Sports - I mean the normal headlines; not the weirdness of the previous two items.

Tennis - There's an old sports adage that goes like this..."that's why you play the game". You need look no further than the U.S. Open for proof of this. Kim Clijsters came of a two year retirement (and the birth of a beautiful daughter), played a couple of warm up tournaments then went on to win the women's single title--her second Grand Slam. Her effort was made a bit easier by the fact that most of the top seeds crashed out of the tournament in the first week and by Serena Williams taking temporary leave of her senses and getting disqualified from her semifinal match against Clijsters. Meanwhile, things were going a bit more according to script on the men's side of the draw. Roger Federer was playing for his sixth consecutive U.S. Open title...and then he lost. Juan Martin del Potro of Argentina beat R-Fed in 5 sets.

Golf - Then again, some things never seem to change. Tiger Woods won his 71st tournament this past weekend at the BMW Championships, almost guaranteeing that he will win a second Fed Ex Cup. Actually, he won it on Saturday, by shooting a course record 62 and taking a 7 stroke lead into the final round on Sunday. For the record, he ended up winning by 8 strokes.

What Caught My Eye Today

Fiji - If I've said this once, I've said it a thousand times--You don't mess with the Queen. Girlfriend doesn't take crap from nobody. The Commonwealth has fully suspended Fiji after it refused to bow to demands to call elections by next year. Yes, I know. The Queen probably didn't make the decision on her own, but I bet she voiced her opinion on the topic. Commodore Frank Bainimarama seized power in Fiji in a 2006 coup and has said elections can only be reinstated in 2014, as part of his "roadmap". He says he needs time to institute reforms that will end the ethnic-based voting system tipped in favour of ethnic Fijians. In other words, dude needs time to figure out how he can ensure that he wins the election--whenever it happens to take place. Fiji has already been suspended from the regional Pacific Islands Forum, and some European Union aid to the country has been put on hold. In practical terms it means Fiji cannot attend any Commonwealth meetings, including taking part in the Commonwealth Games in 2010, or participate in training schemes and other technical aid. So this is serious right? The Commonwealth admitted that it was not a large donor to Fiji and the sanction is largely symbolic. I see. So the Commonwealth is basically the English version of the United Nations. Isn't that lovely?

Bangladesh - As if this poor nation didn't have enough to deal with. Now it is the victim of satire. Two Bangladeshi newspapers have apologized after publishing an article taken from the satirical U.S. website, the Onion, which claimed the Moon landings were faked. The Daily Manab Zamin said U.S. astronaut Neil Armstrong had shocked a news conference by saying he now knew it had been an "elaborate hoax". The made-up quote said that although the journey had felt real, in fact "the entire thing was filmed on a sound stage, most likely in New Mexico. I suppose it really was one small step for man, one giant lie for mankind." Dude, it was so totally a hoax. That footage that was mistakenly taped over a few months ago by NASA? How obvious of a cover up is that. But seriously, I'm not so sure that I would rely on the Onion a a trusted news source. A hilarious source of news, yes; a trusted news source, perhaps not.

The Internet - This next item caught my attention in that it explores the various ways that one could break the Internet.

• Take up fishing: Nets pulling up undersea cables are the single biggest cause of Internet breakages
• Grab a hacksaw: Follow the lead of vandals near Santa Clara, California who cut through underground fiber-optic wires, halting all service to the area.
• Pray for an underwater earthquake: Preferably, a repeat of the quake that took down cables carrying 75% of Internet traffic between Europe and the Middle East in December, 2008.
• Become the head of ICANN: Once in charge of the Internet Corporation for Assigned Names and Numbers (the organization that coordinates the global system of IP addresses) you can redirect traffic at will.
• Break into an Internet Data Center: There are thousands of centers housing computer servers in the United States alone. Take your pick and get mischievous.
• Sabotage a few boats: Internet providers lease fleets equipped to located and repair broken cables. Stop the ships and you stop the fix.
• Wait 29 years: On Jan 19, 2038, the internal clock for Unix will overflow, Y2K style.
• Train sharks: Shark have been known to gnaw through a few cables.

Is it just me or is anyone else scratching their head over the fact that this sort of information is being freely distributed to the public almost as a joke? What's next, a public service announcement on building a do-it-yourself improvised explosive device?

What Caught My Eye Today

World War II - So where were you 70 years ago today? On a wind-swept peninsula where shells lobbed from a German battleship ignited World War II 70 years ago. Poland's leaders marked the hour the German battleship Schleswig-Holstein shelled a tiny Polish military outpost housing the navy's arsenal. It was the war's opening salvo. As much of a history buff as I claim to be, I have to confess, I did not know that this was the first battle of the war. The blitzkrieg on Poland launched nearly six years of war that engulfed the world and left more than 50 million people dead as the German war machine rolled over Europe. European leaders vowed never to forget the lessons of the 20th century's bloodiest conflict. I don't know about you, but I've got all my fingers and toes crossed and rubbed every lucky rabbit foot that I could find hoping that these leaders don't merely not forget those lessons, but actually learn something from the war that will help them avoid another such conflict.

Libya - Okay, if 70 years is too far back for you to remember, how about 40 years ago? Libya celebrated the 40th anniversary of the coup that brought Colonel Moammar Gadhafi to power with a parade, lavish dance spectacles and fighter jets streaking overhead. I'll get back to the story in a moment, but here's something rather curious to ponder. Most of the success coups that I've read about result in a general assuming leadership of the nation. Yet here we have a lowly Colonel calling the shots. You would think that after 40 years, Gadhafi would have given himself a promotion by now. I'm just saying. Gadhafi came to power with a military coup in 1969, and was ostracized for decades over accusations of supporting international terrorism. More recently, Gadhafi has tried to restore his country's standing in the world and transform it from a pariah state to a member of the international community. Gadhafi surprised the world by agreeing to dismantle his country's weapons of mass destruction programs. Despite Gadhafi's attempts to restore his international reputation, human rights groups say he has failed to grant Libyans greater freedoms and rights. I think we can all agree that Libya's behavior has improved markedly over the past couple of years, but after 40 years of being a "pariah" it's not terribly surprising that the international community is looking upon Libya with suspicious eyes. Maybe when Gadhafi celebrates his 80th anniversary, if Libya is still playing nice with the other kiddies in the sandbox, we'll be willing to cut the country a bit more slack.

Child Welfare - The Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development has released a survey showing that America has some of the industrial world's worst rates of infant mortality, teenage pregnancy and child poverty, even though it spends more per child than better-performing countries such as Switzerland, Japan and the Netherlands. I'm sure it isn't that bad. Honestly, these countries always top these sorts of lists. Infant mortality in the U.S. is the fourth-worst in the OECD after Mexico, Turkey and Slovakia. American 15-year-olds rank seventh from the bottom on the OECD's measure of average educational achievement. Child poverty rates in the U.S. are nearly double the OECD average, at 21.6% compared to 12.4%. Okay, perhaps I am mistaken...it really is that bad. Pity. It just goes to show that while you have the "most" there is no guarantee that you have the "best". Of course, we're not the only ones with problems. Britain is plagued by high underage drinking and teenage pregnancy rates. British teen drunkenness top the charts at 33%, far above the OECD average of 20% and the 12% rate recorded in the U.S. That's because their booze is better than ours.

Iran - Iran's top nuclear negotiator offered an opening for possible compromise with the West, saying the Islamic regime is ready to hold talks with world powers over its nuclear program. But? One can only assume when talking about Iran there must be a "but". But Iranian lawmakers also sent a message of defiance to the world community — displaying strong support for President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's nominee for defense minister even though he is wanted by Argentina for the bombing of a Jewish community center in 1994 that killed 85 people. And there you have it. Leave it to Ahmadinejad to go and screw up the works again. Western nations and others worry Iran is moving toward development of nuclear warheads. But Iranian leaders say the country only seeks reactors to produce electricity. President Barack Obama has given Iran a deadline of the end of September to agree to nuclear talks or risk harsher sanctions. Last year, Iran was offered economic incentives in exchange for suspending uranium enrichment, but Iran's leaders responded by saying they would never give up control of the production of nuclear fuel. My guess is that Iran is trying to work its way out of a bluff as gracefully as possible. Still I'm with the rest of the world on this one. I'll believe Iran's motives when there are tangible actions on Tehran's part to back them up.