What Caught My Eye Today

Healthcare - Hard as it may be to embrace the notion that the U.S. Congress might pass some actual legislation, that indeed appears to be the case. Democrats in the House of Representatives predicted weekend passage of a sweeping healthcare overhaul that budget analysts said would cut the U.S. deficit over 10 years and dramatically expand health coverage. The Congressional Budget Office estimates that the legislation will expand insurance coverage to 32 million uninsured Americans at a cost of $940 billion over 10 years and cut the deficit by $138 billion in the same period through new fees and cost-cutting measures. Better late than never, but did it really need to be this difficult? I'm a social liberal (big surprise there), so obviously I'm in favor of extending healthcare to as many people as we can. As the richest nation on the planet, I fail to see why we wouldn't have tried to do this sooner. But that's not even my biggest gripe about this saga. How is that the the Democrats, armed with its largest mandate in decades (after the 2008 presidential election), could manage to foul this process up so badly. You idiots had a super majority in the Senate for almost two years! It's not like your Republican counterparts were offering up any competing ideas (I'm sorry, but "starting over" does not constitute a new idea). I'm in awe (not in a good way) at the gargantuan ineptitude exhibited by the Democratic leadership in managing this debacle.

That being said, the Democratic party does not have a monopoly on practice of "stupid is as stupid does."

Politics - The Republican party doesn't suffer a management problem, so much as it does an identity crisis. Tea party, RINO...it's hard to keep track of all these labels. There is a a common perception that the Tea Party movement was founded, funded and dominated by the Republican Party. Most of them are current or former Republicans -- up to 80% or more, with the rest split between Democrats, independents and Libertarians. But Tea Partiers insist that they are not beholden to the GOP and warn that Republican candidates counting on an endorsement from them in the upcoming November elections may well be disappointed. The Tea Party movement is united by three core principles: constitutionally limited government, free market ideology and low taxes. The American Constitution is a rallying cry and many now dub themselves "constitutional conservatives." Sounds pretty patriotic to me, but I cannot shake this feeling, that there is something just not right with all this. They are angry not just at what they describe as the socialist policies of U.S. President Barack Obama. They also feel Republican politicians have betrayed the party's ideals. For many in the movement, purging the party of moderate Republicans is a major goal. Conservatives derisively call moderate Republicans RINOs -- Republican In Name Only. They are angry at moderates over issues like immigration and the cap and trade climate bill. And there it is. Can someone please enlighten me as to when the concept of moderation became so toxic? And when did sensible immigration and climate control legislation become akin to becoming a socialist state? Tea Partiers are targeting not just prominent Democrats in the upcoming elections but also key moderate Republicans like Charlie Crist in Florida and former presidential candidate John McCain in Arizona. Dude, these guys are pissed at everybody. In the near term, the mostly white movement faces a possible showdown with the religious right over divisive social issues. But its biggest challenge lies in tackling its extremist fringe, including those who equate Obama with Hitler and the "birther" movement that doubts Obama's U.S. citizenship and the legitimacy of his presidency. Okay, we need to draw a distinction between political beliefs and delusional conspiracy theories. Seriously. So much for the mid-term elections being boring.

And yet, despite the almost comical state of the U.S. political landscape, we're completely boring compared to other parts of the world.

Nigeria - The speaker of Nigeria's senate has described Libya's leader Moamer Kadhafi as a 'mad man' after he suggested splitting the country between the Christian and Muslim communities to end sectarian violence. Isn't calling Kadhafi a mad man just a little bit redundant? It's like calling Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez a bit "unbalanced". Kadhafi proposed that Nigeria should follow the partition model of Pakistan, which was born in 1947 after the Muslim minority of predominantly Hindu India founded their own homeland. Right. We all know how well that worked out, don't we. That deal worked out so well that the two nations are pointing most of their nuclear arsenals at each other. Great plan. Kadhafi suggested that a Christian homeland in the south could have Lagos as its capital while a Muslim homeland in the north would have Abuja as its principal city. He said the two communities should peacefully agree to share Nigeria's oil and other natural wealth. In what parallel universe, does he imagine this might actual happen.

North Korea - And then there's these guys. North Korea executed a former senior official as punishment for the country's botched currency reform. I guess the rest of the world is behind the times. Usually, when a government official's policies don't work so well, we either ask for their resignation or vote them out of office. In November, North Korea redenominated its currency as part of efforts to lower inflation and reassert control over the country's nascent market economy. However, the measure reportedly worsened the country's food situation by forcing the closure of markets and sparked anger among many North Koreans left with piles of worthless bills. Pak Nam Gi, the ruling Workers' Party finance and planning department chief who spearheaded the currency reform, was executed by a firing squad in Pyongyang last week. Pak was accused of ruining the nation's economy in a blunder that also damaged public opinion and had a negative impact on leader Kim Jong Il's plan to hand power over to his youngest son. Well now, if that isn't grounds for "firing" someone, I don't know what is. Many North Koreans believe the government used Pak as a scapegoat for the failed currency reform. Do you think? One final thought on this. I don't wish to give the impression that I'm trivializing a very disturbing turn of events. Far from it. My intent is to call attention to that absolute lunacy being exhibited by a government, which coincidentally happens to be in possession of some serious firepower. I'm not amused by this, I'm scared.

March Madness - For those of you familiar with the annual men's college basketball tournament, this one is for you. Four games into the first round, my bracket is already hosed. Murray State (13 seed) beat Vanderbilt (4 seed). What the hell?

What Caught My Eye Today - 2010 Census Edition

Fred's Note: To regular readers of this blog, my proclivity for statistical information is well documented. (Quick sidebar. It's taken 612 postings, but I have finally managed to work one of my favorite words--proclivity--into a sentence.) So, naturally, with Census day coming up how could I pass up on the numbers bonanza about to get under way without a sharing a few ruminations on the subject. (Another sidebar. Ruminations--another bitchin' word). First a quick primer on the census.

Census - The Twenty-third United States Census is the next national census in the United States. National Census Day is April 1, 2010. The census has been conducted every 10 years since 1790, as required by the United States Constitution, with the previous one completed in 2000. The Census Bureau will no longer use a long form for the 2010 Census. In several previous censuses, one in six households received this long form, which asked for detailed social and economic information. The 2010 Census will use only a short form asking ten basic questions, including name, gender, age, date of birth, race, and homeownership status. I'll have some thoughts on this in a moment. The Government Accountability Office estimated in 2004 that the cost of the 2010 Census would be over $11 billion. This too. The results of the 2010 census will determine the number of seats each state receives in the United States House of Representatives starting with the 2012 elections. Consequently, this will also affect the number of votes that states receive in the Electoral College for the 2012 presidential election. Good news if you live in Texas and a number of other sunbelt states; not so much if you live in the rust belt or New England.

Okay, enough with the factoids. Now for some commentary.

I appreciate the fact that the Constitution states that the census is meant to count people, which I guess the census form that I filled out accomplishes, but for some reason I feel short changed. I've waited 10 years for my existence to be acknowledged by my country, and all I get to do is confirm my sex, age and address. What a letdown. And what is this about spending $11 billion on this year's census. Are they nuts? Hear me out on this one. The U.S. population is approximately 309 million. Does it really take $36 to count a person. Seriously.

But back to those questions. Here's what I've decided to do. I've come up with some of the questions that I think the Census Bureau should have asked me, and my responses would have been. Who knows. Maybe in 10 years, the census will manage to count what really matters.

1. If you could live anywhere else besides the U.S. where would you live?
   Trick question. You bastards are trying to peg me as a terrorist. Well it won't work. I am all about the Stars and Stripes, you pinkos.
2. Do you consider yourself attractive
   Hell yes.
3. Do others consider you attractive?
   The ones who can see straight think so.
4. How many Facebook friends do you have?
   Too many to count. I am just that awesome.
5. Do you consider yourself religous?
   I don't like to brag but, yes, I've been part of some "religious experiences". Giddy up.
6. Democrat or Republican?
   Oh come on. There must be some other option.
7. Red or blue?
   I see myself as more of a paisley sort of person.
8. Boxers or briefs?
   Commando all the way, baby!
9. Cats or dogs?
   Oh please. Dogs rule.
10. Heads or tails?
    Huh?
    
    Finally, for purposes of demographics:
11. Sex?
    Yes, please.
12. Age?
    Old enough to know better than to answer this one.
13. Income?
    Not nearly enough for what I bring to the table.
14. Marital Status?
    7 years and counting.
15. Occupation?
    Pre-retired.

What Caught My Eye Today

Israel - This is one of those "with friends like this, who needs enemies" stories. Last week, Israeli officials angered visiting U.S. Vice-President Joe Biden by announcing the building of 1,600 new homes in occupied East Jerusalem. Just hours before the announcement, Biden had emphasized how close relations were, saying there was "no space" between Israel and the U.S. The Obama administration said Israel's announcement of plans to build 1,600 homes for Jews in East Jerusalem was "destructive" to peace efforts. That's a little dramatic, don't you think? Palestinian leaders say indirect peace talks with Israel are now "doubtful". I'm not sure these so called indirect peace talks were going to amount to much, but still indirect talks are surely better than no talks. Israel's ambassador to the U.S., Michael Oren, was summoned to the state department and was reprimanded about the affair. Afterwards Oren said ties between Israel and the United States were at their lowest point in 35 years. Okay, scratch that last comment about the White House being too dramatic. This dude, needs to suck it up. So he got a diplomatic tongue lashing. Big deal. This sort of thing happens all time. Heck, there is probably even a script that the affected parties follow for this nonsense.

Iran - President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's hard-line government has banned Iran's largest pro-reform political party in a new strike against an opposition movement that has largely been swept from the streets since last year's post-election turmoil. Poor Mahmoud. How frustrating is this? Think about it. Boyfriend stole that election fair and square under the watchful eye of Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei. People, you need to get over this obsession with democracy. If your opinions truly mattered, don't you think that Ahmadinejad would have acknowledge that by now?

Tigers - According to the secretary general of the 175-nation Convention on International Trade in Endangered Species, the world has "failed miserably" at protecting tigers in the wild, bringing an animal that is a symbol for many cultures and religions to "the verge of extinction." Just 20 years ago there were 100,000 tigers in Asia, but now only 3,200 remain in the wild. For those of you who aren't math whizzes, that's almost a 97% decrease in population in just 20 years. Tigers are poached for their skins and parts of their bodies are prized for decoration and traditional medicine. Delegates at the U.N. conference will also consider the spike in rhino poaching and ways to combat criminal networks involved in the illegal trade in horns in parts of Africa and Asia. All in all, there are 42 proposals on the table, ranging from stopping elephant poaching to banning trade in polar bear skins. I recognize that there are complexities that need to be considered by parties that don't see eye-to-eye on very many things, but if a decision isn't reached soon, Mother Nature will take matters into her own hands, and soon the only place we will be able to see tigers, rhinos, polar bears, and elephants is in pictures. Does anyone really what to see that happen?

Time - How many times have you muttered to yourselves that there just doesn't seem to be enough time in the day to accomplish everything you set out to do? I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but things just got a bit more rushed. The massive magnitude 8.8 earthquake that rocked Chile in February was so deep and strong that it redistributed Earth's mass. That movement shifted the axis around which the Earth is balanced by about 3 inches, enough to speed up the Earth's rotation. the faster Earth rotates, the shorter the day. So just how much are we screwed by this? Not so much as it turns out. Thanks to the Chile quake, the day is now 1.26 millionths of a second shorter than it used to be, which is twice the amount of time that was sliced as a result of the 2004 earthquake in Sumatra. Let me break it down for you. If you are lucky enough to live to the year 3380, you will have been witness to the cumulative loss of one whole second.

Money - A group of 14 Republican congressmen has introduced legislation to have the image of Ronald Reagan's face enshrined on the $50 bill, displacing that of Ulysses S. Grant. Interesting, though I'd be much more in favor of a national holiday...one that my employer would be compelled to acknowledge and honor by giving me the day off. Representative Patrick McHenry (R - North Carolina) cites a recent poll that ranked Reagan as the 6th greatest American president to Grant's lowly 29th ranking and said, "every generation needs its own heroes." Yeah, winning the Civil War may have been newsworthy back in day (the Civil War was fought like a thousand years ago, wasn't it?), but it isn't as if Grant ever got anyone to tear down any walls. I'm thinking we leave well enough alone. Of course, I voted Democrat in the last election, so what do I know.

What Caught My Eye Today

Personal Wealth - The fine folks at Forbes have released their annual list of billionaires. Ay Caramba! Mexican tycoon Carlos Slim is the world's richest person ($53.5 billion) (Rat bastard), knocking Microsoft founder Bill Gates into second spot ($53 billion) (Capitalist pig). It is only the second time since 1995 that Gates has lost the crown. Investor Warren Buffett came in at No. 3 with $47 billion. I hope you choke on it. There are now 1,011 billionaires, compared with 793 in 2009 and 1,125 in 2008. May they all be struck down by lightning. The average billionaire is now worth $3.5 billion, up $500 million from last year. And the number of women on the list rose to 89 from 72 last year. For the first time, China is now home to the most billionaires outside of the United States. The top homes to billionaires are New York with 60 and Moscow with 50, followed by London with 32. There are 55 countries represented on the list with billionaires from Pakistan and Finland making appearances for the first time. Contrary to what many people might think, I bear no ill will toward anyone on this list. I'm sure they all worked very hard and are entitled to just compensation. Besides, I'm all good. Just this morning, I was fishing through my pockets and found a 5 sport. I'm living the high life.

Greece - Clashes between riot police and rock-throwing, masked youths broke out during a demonstration in Athens by tens of thousands of striking workers protesting austerity measures that the Greek government has said it has no choice but to implement. In plain English, austerity is when a government reduces its spending and/or increases taxes to pay back creditors. In other words, when governments find themselves in the awkward position of having to live within their means. The debt-ridden country is under intense pressure from both markets and the European Union to reduce its deficit from 12.7% of economic output in 2009 to 8.7% this year. While public anger has grown, it has been mitigated by a general understanding that something must be done to pull the country out of a crisis that has made its cost of borrowing skyrocket. Here's an idea. I did some checking (shocking, I know). Greece has an annual GDP of just under $382 billion. 8.7% percent of that just over $33 billion. That dude, Carlos Slim could easily cover that and have a nice tax deduction to boot. Presto. Problem solved.

Auto Defects - Perhaps you have heard about those minor defects that seem to be plaguing Toyota with increasing frequency. A Toyota executive said the company is "mystified" by a report that a California man's Prius gas pedal became stuck and caused the car to speed out of control on a California freeway. Of course they are. The driver quickly became the face of the Toyota gas pedal scandal after he called 911 to report losing control of his Prius earlier this week. His car reached nerve-rattling speeds of 94 mph before an officer helped bring it to a stop. Federal investigators are looking into the incident, and Toyota officials said they have talked extensively to man about the episode. The senior vice president of automotive operations for Toyota Motor Sales, said all Priuses are equipped with a computer system that cuts power to the wheels if the brake and gas pedals are depressed at the same time — something the man was doing. "It's tough for us to say if we're skeptical. I'm mystified in how it could happen with the brake override system," he said. Dude, it's called faulty software. Happens all the time. This why I say that software should stay in computers. Last time I checked there weren't many 3,000 pound computers barreling out of control down the interstate.

Healthcare - Conservative talk-show host Rush Limbaugh said this week he’d go to Costa Rica for medical treatment if Congress passes proposed reforms to the US healthcare system. Not a bad choice, actually. Boyfriend clearly did some homework on this one. Costa Rica has one of the longest standing socialized healthcare systems on the planet. Everyone is required to pay into the government-run health system, whether they use it or not. Life expectancy in this little Central American country surpasses that of the United States and at one point, back in the early 2000s when the World Health Organization rated countries’ general health, Costa Rica ranked higher (No. 36) than the U.S. (No. 37), despite spending 87% less on health care per capita. So here's the rub against Mr. Limbaugh. He clarified his comment about leaving the United States, after "the liberal media" celebrated his vow of self-imposed exile, viewing healthcare reform as a way to rid themselves of the conservative talk show host. "If I have to get thrown into this massive government health care insurance business and end up going to the driver's license office every day when I need to go to the doctor, yeah, I'll go to Costa Rica for treatment, not move there." Oh sure, the liberal media is at fault for Mr. Blowhard's comments. Should we assume, based in his logic, that Mr. Limbaugh's thoughts are being supplied to him by that same demonic "liberal media"? Dude, they're having fun with you. What, you've never taken advantage of any missteps of your liberal counterparts? Grow a backbone, you wuss.

What Caught My Eye Today

Law Enforcement - Here's a question for you. What would be the appropriate punishment for causing a worldwide disruption in air travel in order to kiss your girlfriend one last time before she boards a plane. Apparently, $500. A lovesick student, who dodged airport security to kiss his girlfriend goodbye has apologised for causing more than 100 flight delays, 27 cancellations and stranding 16,000 passengers. The student ducked under a rope barrier at Newark Airport in New Jersey for a final kiss with his girlfriend before she left for California and inadvertently caused a security breach which closed the terminal for six hours. He admitted that he purposefully dodged security, spotting an official leave his post, and took the moment to catch-up with his girlfriend and walk her to her gate. The student then calmly left the airport unaware of the mayhem that ensued inside. The entire terminal was evacuated and closed while officials investigated the breach and passengers were only allowed back in after being re-screened by security. The student avoided jail and was instead ordered to pay a $500 fine, plus additional court costs, and perform 100 hours of community service. Setting aside the fact that this moron is too stupid to live, I might recommend some subtle changes in appearance. If I was one of those 16,000 stranded passengers, I'd be looking for more than a few hours of community service. I'd want blood, but then again, I've been told I have anger management issues.

Education - Math and English instruction in the United States moved a step closer to uniform — and more rigorous — standards. Let me guess. Students are actually going to have to demonstrate that they can read, write and add two numbers without the use of a calculator before they are given college diplomas. The effort is expected to lead to standardization of textbooks and testing and make learning easier for students who move from state to state. The effort is endorsed by 48 states, two territories and the District of Columbia and the new standards are intended to raise expectations of student achievement in some states and be in line with the educational expectations of top-performing states and countries. There are 50 states, aren't there? Texas and Alaska are the only states not participating in the national standards effort. Texas' commissioner of education said "Texas has chosen to preserve its sovereign authority to determine what is appropriate for Texas children to learn in its public schools." Maybe it's just me, but would anyone really notice (or care) if Texas seceded from the U.S.? As for Alaska--those kids are doing just fine, if you ask me. In a recent survey, 9 out of 10 children correctly identified Russia from their houses (for those unfamiliar with Sarah Palin, the humor here is probably not terribly evident).

Egypt - Egyptian clerics are cracking down on the sinful uses of modern technology. Egypt's highest cleric issued a fatwa banning the used of the Muslim payer call or any verse from the Quran as a cell phone ring tone. This is what they're worried about? I was totally thinking something else, along the lines of adult entertainment, if you know what I mean. Another cleric call for a ban on Facebook, saying the social-networking site was breaking up marriages by encouraging people to reconnect with former flames. The cleric was responding to reports of a study that found one in five Egyptian divorces is the result of Facebook. Seems a bit draconian to me, especially considering this... The study turned out to be an Internet hoax. So to sum up: Religious ring tones - bad; Facebook - bad; Internet Porn - still okay.

Potpourri - More fascinating nuggets of information of a statistical nature.

• Personal Income - The income of the 400 richest Americans rose an average of 31% in 2007, before the recession hit. Because of tax cuts on wages and capital gains, these individuals paid an effective tax rate of 16.6% on their average income of $344.8 million. I chalk up my bitterness to the fact that as one of the hundreds of millions of 401st richest Americans, I getting totally screwed on my taxes.
• France - The French now spend an average of 31 minutes eating lunch, down from an hour and 38 minutes in 1975. I'm guessing, the spend that other hour bitching about the fact that their lunch time has been cut back so much.
• Olympics - Olympic organizers in Vancouver stocked its two Olympic Villages with 100,000 condoms--14 condoms for each of the 7,000 athletes, coaches, trainers and officials housed there. At the Sydney Games in 2000, officials handed out 70,000 condoms and had to order 20,000 more. I was under the impression that Disneyland was the happiest place on Earth. Clearly, I was way mistaken on that one.

What Caught My Eye Today

Venezuela - A Spanish judge has accused Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez of aiding in a plot to assassinate Colombian President Alvar Uribe and other Colombian officials when they traveled to Spain in 2003. The allegations are based on information obtained from the laptop computer of a FARC commander killed by Colombian armed forces in 2008, detailing links between the Colombian guerrilla group and the Venezuelan government. Venezuela's Foreign Ministry called the charges "biased and unfounded" and alleged that the Colombian government had planted the data on the laptop. Surprisingly, I find myself agreeing with Venezuela on one count, the data easily could have been planted. Though, I tend to think this smacks much more of the CIA than the Colombian government.

Zimbabwe - The Zimbabwe government has outlawed foreign businesses. Can you do that? Under the new law, foreign-owned companies must transfer at least 51% of their shares to black Zimbabweans within five years. Economists, business leader, and labor leaders all oppose the law, saying the law will strangle what little foreign investment Zimbabwe attracts. Really? I was under the impression that Zimbabwe attract no foreign investment at all. Critics fear that the shares will be given to Mugabe cronies, just as white-owned farms were seized and given to Mugabe's friends during the "land reform" program a few years ago. Tut, tut. I'm sure Mr. Mugabe has learned from his past transgressions, I don't see what could possibly go wrong with this plan. Zimbabwe suffers from runaway inflation and an unemployment rate above 90%. Seriously, with things as bad as they are now, will anyone really notice if inflation jumps a few ticks from the current annual rate of 6.5 quindecillion novemdecillion percent (65 followed by 107 zeros; I looked it up) or if the unemployment rate surges for 90% to 95%? I think not.

Brazil - A Devassa beer commercial featuring socialite Paris Hilton has been pulled from Brazialian television after complaints that it was too sexy. This is Brazil we're talking about right? After receiving complaints from viewers, the government, and at least on rival brewer, Brazil's advertising industry group asked Devassa to pull the ad, saying it violated a regulation that commercials can't treat women as sex objects. That's right. Only men can do that.. Devassa's logo is a woman in a bikini. Kind of ironic, don't you think? At any rate, you can judge for yourselves (click here). Bear in mind that this is the same country famous (or infamous) for Carnaval, which we all know has it's fair share of scantily clothed individuals of the female persuasion.

Uzbekistan - I guess you could call this "extreme population control". Under a recent Health Ministry directive, Uzbek gynecologists have been ordered to "persuade' at least two women per month to have hysterectomies a month each in order to keep the population down. In fairness to the people, I don't imagine there is a lot to do in Uzbekistan, so you cannot fault them too much for finding creative ways to pass the time. And get this. Apparently, this isn't the first time, Uzbekistan has done this sort of thing. The former Soviet republic began forced sterilizations in 1999, when it had a birth rate of more than 4 children per woman. The practice was stopped in 2003, after it was exposed but apparently has been restarted. I'm no expert, but rather than resorting to such extreme and irreversible surgical procedures, has anyone in the Uzbek government given any thought to a slightly less invasive solution. They are called CONDOMS, people! And they are 98% effective, when those horny little buggers put them on correctly.