What Caught My Eye Today - 2009 Predictions Revisited

Fred's Note: At the beginning of this year (click here), I reported on predictions for 2009 from both the experts and yours truly. Let's see how we did, shall we.

• There will be an assassination attempt on Barack Obama.
  No assassination attempts this year, just a Nobel Peace Prize.
• There will be serious tensions within Europe as the Euro free falls with both France and Germany threatening to leave the European Union.
  They got this one partially right. France and Germany are still in the EU and the Euro is still worth a lot more than the greenback, but Greece is in a major world of financial hurt.
• There is a world wide rekindling of socialist ideals and a major swing back towards communism in Russia.
  I hate to admit it, but the prognosticators hit this one out of the ballpark. Though in Russia's case, I'm thinking there isn't so much a swing towards communism as there is toward "Putinism".
• There will be a major terrorist attack in Dubai.
  Not so much a terrorist attack as it was an attack of reality on the free-spending ways of the sheik. Big brother over in Abu Dhabi was not happy with his under sibling.
• There will be a knife attack on a top celebrity.
  No knife attacks, but man, what a tough year for the celebrity circuit.
• Afghanistan, Pakistan, Bangladesh, Nepal will continue to be unstable nations with corrupt governments.
  No way! These dude totally had their "poop" together this past year.

And then there were my predictions:

• The New York Stock Exchange will close the year above 10500.
  Though there are still 2 trading days left, the Dow close at 10,545. I'm claiming victory on this one.
• Lindsay Lohan will become pregnant
  Shockingly, Ms. Lohan was relatively quiet this year. Pity.
• Prince Charles will not become the King of England...again.
  By sheer coincidence I saw a tabloid a couple of days ago saying Elizabeth II had given her throne to young William. Chalk up another one for me.
• An industrial accident will claim thousands of lives in China
  I'm going with a draw on this one; too difficult to prove what sort on craziness goes on in the Middle Kingdom.
• One of the ex-Presidents will die.
  I'm okay with getting this one wrong.
• The world will miraculously make it through another year without a "dirty bomb" being detonated.
  Right again, though we sure seem to have dodged a lot of close calls this past year.
• The Chicago Cubs will not win the World Series...again.
  Hey, right is right no matter how easy the prediction was.
• Tiger Woods will win at least one major in 2009
  5 tournament wins but no majors. Yeah that's what we'll remember him for in 2009.
• Lance Armstrong will finish in the top 3 in this year's Tour De France.
  Who's da man?
• Osama bin Liden will celebrate yet another year as a fugitive rather than behind bars.
  Maybe the dude died already, and we just haven't gotten the memo yet.

So whose inner Nostradamus has more game? The experts went 2 of 6 and I was 6-3-1. I'll let the record speak for itself.

What Caught My Eye Today

Top Stories of 2009 - According to the fine folks at the Associated Press.

1. The Economy - Let me break it down for you: 2008 - sucked, 2009 - still sucked, and 2010 - more suckage expected.
2. Obama Inauguration - I'm more impressed that the American public was able to overlook the fact that this dude's middle name is "Hussein" than the fact that he's the first black president.
3. Healthcare - Congress may actually pull of healthcare reform before year's end. So why doesn't that make me feel any better?
4. Auto Industry - Some PR firm is going to have to come up with a new nickname. I don't think "The Big Three" is going to cut it anymore.
5. Swine Flu - Strange, I though H1N1 was much more appealing than "pig flu."
6. Afghanistan - Sort of a bad news / good news story. Bad news: we're still there. Good news: now we have a plan. Okay, so maybe its a bad news / wishful thinking story.
7. Michael Jackson - Thus far the King of Pop's legacy seems to be mostly positive, which is somewhat surprising given all the weirdness that surrounding him while he was alive.
8. Fort Hood Rampage - It's frightening to contemplate the perpetrator of this tragedy was supposed to be helping soldiers with mental health issues. Our troops deserve so much better.
9. Edward Kennedy dies - After all tragedy the Kennedy family has endured, somehow it is a bit comforting that this Kennedy died of natural causes.
10. Miracle on the Hudson - Feel good story of the year, without a doubt. Rumor has it that "Sully" might crack the top 10 in baby names next year.

Sweden - A popular Swedish fast food chain is encouraging its customer to reduce their carbon footprints by eating less beef. Next to each menu item, Max Burger (you just can't make this stuff up) now lists the amount, in kilograms, of greenhouse gases emitted to produce it. The all-beef burgers are the worst offenders, while the falafel burgers and half-beef/half-soy burgers are deemed more earth-friendly. "We hope to change the whole of the fast food industry," said a company spokesperson. Yeah, good luck with that, sparky. Anyone want odds on whether or not this chain will still be solvent this time next year?

Canada - I'll bet you a nickel you cannot make it through this story without laughing. Canadian scientists researching the effects of pornography on young men have had to scrap their plans, as they could not find any young men who had not watched pornography. Big surprise there. And you're laughing too, aren't ya? Researchers had hoped to compare a group of admitted porn users with a "control group" of men in their 20s who had never viewed pornography, but couldn't find any. Instead they found young, single men spent about two hours every week viewing porn on the Internet. Okay, now I'm surprised. Two hours a week? Right. Maybe if they had said two hours a day, but two hours a week?

Potpourri - More items for the "Are you serious?" file.

• A California man is suing the makers of the "World of Warcraft" online video game for $1 million, saying the game has left him "sad, lonely, and alienated."
  I'm thinking this guys personality may have something to do with that as well.
• A California man is proposing a ballot initiative to ban heterosexual divorce saying "Since California has decided to protect traditional marriage, it would be hypocritical of us not to sacrifice some of our own rights to protect traditional marriage even more."
  Unusual logic, but you have to admit, he does sort of make a valid argument.
• A Florida woman was arrested on charges of falsely reporting a bomb at an airport. Police say she called in the threat in order to delay a flight to Honduras, because her boss was running late.
  Wow, that's serious dedication. She must be running for Secretary of the Year honors.
• A Swedish man has abandoned efforts to produce milk from his own breasts. He was convinced that with daily 3-hour breast-pumping sessions, he could stimulate himself to lactate, thus liberating the mother of his child from bearing the brunt of childcare responsibilities. All he got was sore breasts.
  Words elude me on this one. I'm utterly speechless.

What Caught My Eye Today

India - Forty years after the Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty (NPT) was signed, an agreement that prohibits nonnuclear states from acquiring such weapons, India's Prime Minister Monmohan Singh announced that India is willing to join the NPT as a nuclear weapons state. Before I rain on their parade, here's a bit more on why this pronouncement is newsworthy...yeah whatever. By pursuing NPT status India stands to gain several benefits. It would enhance the country's image as a responsible great power without forcing it to sacrifice its nuclear deterrent. It would serve as a strong warning to Iran about its suspected NPT violations. And it would help India deflect calls to join the Comprehensive Nuclear Test Ban Treaty, an agreement that would ban testing of all nuclear weapons. As I subtly alluded to a few moments ago, it is my belief that this is much ado about nothing. First of all, in order to admit India to the NPT, the agreement has to be amended to allow India to sign onto a treaty specifically intended to prohibit nations from developing nuclear weapons if they didn't already have that capability prior to 1967. Seriously, what's the point. Given that logic, we might as well kill two birds with one stone and sign North Korea up for this deal along with India. As for the suggestion that this gesture will somehow act as a deterrent to Iran, I have two words for you--AS IF. Since when has Iran cared about what any other nation has thought of its actions? I contend that this will serve as motivation that Iran can keep on its current course. If India can get away with ignoring the NPT, why can't Iran? And lastly, let me see if I have this straight. India wants to join a treaty that it has previously ignored, so it can avoid participating in another treaty with pretty much the same purpose as the NPT. Does this sound peculiar to anyone besides me?

Canada - As you may have heard, there is a climate conference going on for the next two weeks in Denmark. I stumbled upon this little nugget a couple of days ago. Canada has long been revered as a champion of good causes but to many delegates attending the conference in Copenhagen, Canada is just another eco-hostile petrostate, thanks in large part to its unapologetic support for its extremely dirty but highly lucrative energy industry, especially the carbon-spewing Alberta tar sands. Interestingly, this is just the latest in Canada's fall from grace among the eco-friendly set. Three years ago, Canada formally dropped its commitment to the Kyoto Protocol and Canadian carbon dioxide emissions have risen 25% since 1999. And the Climate Change Performance Index for 2009 ranks Canada 59th, just one place ahead of Saudi Arabia. Right then. Let's put this into proper context, shall we? Canada is cashing in on an energy source that has been known to exist for years but only recently become financially feasible given the recent run up in oil prices. I challenge any country to claim that it wouldn't have done the same thing (especially in the current economic environment) given the same opportunity that was presented to Canada. As for dropping the Kyoto Protocol, at least they participated for most of it. The limits are scheduled to expire in 2013 and the biggest polluters were not following the protocol at all (China, Russia, Brazil and, of course, the United States). I really don't see this as being that much of a sell out. And that 25% increase in carbon emissions? Amateurs. The U.S. is good for almost 21% of the global emissions compared with Canada's 1.9%. Though curiously, the U.S. is expected to have a 6.1% decrease in emissions for 2009. Finally, a silver lining to that 10% unemployment rate. Who would have thought that not working would be good for the environment? Anyway, my point is this. Canada might not be the poster child for environmental responsibility, but even with recent developments these dudes are miles better than those of us who couldn't be bothered to even try to make an effort to improve until now.

Begging - Each year, more and more people are going online for their holiday shopping, but in these hard times, the Internet is also becoming a place where people in need can ask for a handout. Heck, everything else is schlepped on the 'Net. I suppose it was just a matter of time before begging caught on.. There are thousands of appeals on craigslist and on other Web sites devoted to begging, such as Begslist, CyberBeg and DonateMoney2me.com. Some sites charge up to $45 a month. Sort of defeats the purpose, don't you think? DonateMoney2me.com says that's so it can provide better services, including advice on how to enhance an online appeal by using phrases such as "with your help, we can go on" and "your generosity can give a new lease on life.". That totally makes sense. These guys are totally providing a service. After all, it requires a lot of effort to find just the right phrases to steal from all those Hallmark cards.

Tiger Woods - I thought that I was going to avoid talking about this Tiger Woods nonsense, but clearly I was mistaken. I appreciate that it's hard to have much sympathy for a dude making $90 million a year who got caught with his hand in the wrong cookie jar, but seriously, how much must it suck to be this guy right now? Here's a quick recap of what has to be considered a contender for the "Worse Week Ever" award. Tiger Woods’ recent car accident has led to a media firestorm surrounding his personal life. The world’s No. 1 golfer hit a hydrant and a tree on Nov. 27, and he was cited for careless driving and fined $164. The accident and Woods’ refusal to answer questions about it—fueled speculation about a possible dispute between him and his wife, Elin. Woods has been out of the public eye since the crash and subsequent allegations of extramarital affairs. Last week, Woods issued a statement saying he had let his family down with unspecified "transgressions" that he regrets with "all of my heart." Translation: "I can't believe Elin found out. Damn that caller id!" But wait there's more. Late last week, it was reported that Elin bought a $2 million cottage on a secluded island in Sweden with her twin sister--sheer coincidence, I'm sure. And then, this week there was another 911 call from the Woods' estate--this time because Elin's mother was suffering from chest pains. Reckless driving, marital problems, and mother-in-law suffering chest pains? Come on, you have to feel some sympathy for this poor bastard. But wait, there's still more. Apparently Tiger was being considered for the Congressional Medal of Honor, the highest award Congress has to honor civilians for achievements and contributions to society. Not no more. Oh, I almost forgot. Gatorade is taking the Tiger-themed Focus sports drink off the market due to slumping sales. This chump cannot catch a break.

What Caught My Eye Today

Iran - On the off chance that you are not up on the latest political dish in Iran, trust me when I say this is a pretty big deal. A not-so-quiet debate is brewing inside the seminaries of Qum, Iran's religious capital, over how to abolish the post of the all-powerful Supreme Leader of the Islamic Republic. Critics charge that the position--whose legitimacy is derived directly from God (I've heard of mandates, but this seems a bit over the top, don't you think?) -- is based on a radical interpretation of Islam. Top Shiite scholars have compared allegiance to the Supreme Leader to an act of polytheism (which I'm guessing is bad) and have suggested to Ayatollah Ali Khamenei that "your religious legitimacy has vanished." That doesn't sound so good either. Few clerics have yet to openly call for the abolition of the post, which would be and act of treason (Now I know that's bad. They chop off heads for stuff like that).

Russia (Part I) - Pope Benedict XVI and visiting Russian President Dmitry Medvedev agreed to upgrade Vatican-Kremlin relations to full diplomatic ties. A Vatican statement said Benedict and Medvedev agreed that Russia will upgrade its representation at the Vatican from a special mission to embassy level and that the Vatican will reciprocate in Moscow. The step forward on the diplomatic front comes at the same time as a warming in previously tense relations between the Russian Orthodox Church and the Vatican. Usually I would applaud this as a rather substantial reconciliation. Religion is like family. Nothing about it is ever clear cut and simple. But I digress. Like I said, usually I would applaud this, however, recent events suggest this might just be a temporary thawing.

Russia (Part II) - Prime Minister Vladimir Putin sent his strongest signal yet that he plans to return to Russia's presidency, telling millions of TV viewers that he will consider running in 2012. Putin has remained Russia's consummate leader since constitutional term limits forced him to step down in 2008. He named Medvedev as his anointed successor and, shortly after the election, Medvedev named him prime minister. At least the sanctity of the Russia constitution is still in tact. The premiership had been a comparatively low-profile position, but Putin has pushed it into the spotlight, logging more TV time in the Medvedev era than the president himself. Medvedev has appeared to be little more than a figurehead and placeholder. Hey now. Is it Putin's fault that he's more photogenic, more charasmatic, more handsome, more intelligent, wiser...not to mention blessed with rock hard abs--but I digress again. Where was I? Oh yeah. Is it Putin's fault that Medvedev is such a sap? I think not. And why shouldn't the Russian people have a leader worthy of their support. Screw the Constitution, I say.

Humor - This joke made me laugh. Ordinarily, this wouldn't be so noteworthy, but here's the thing. This joke has no political undertones and doesn't poke fun at any group or stereotype (unless you are a talking dog). A guy is driving around and sees a sign in front of a house that reads, "Talking dog for sale." So he stop and the owner takes him out to the backyard to see the dog. "You talk?" he asked. "Yes I do." the dog replied. "When I was a puppy, the CIA had me jetting from country to country sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. Now I'm retired." The man was amazed and asked the dog's owner how much he wanted for the dog. "Ten dollars." the owner said. "Ten dollars? Why on earth would you want to sell him for so little?" "Because he's a liar. He never did any of that stuff."

What Caught My Eye Today

Fred's Note: Should you be looking for comment on Tiger Woods personal life or Obama's war strategy for Afghanistan, you will have to look elsewhere. It's not that I don't care about the Afghanistan story, but if you have access to the same news outlets that I do, you've heard enough analysis in the past 24 hours to last the rest of this year...and probably most of next year as well. As for Tiger Woods and his alleged extra marital affair; we've heard this story before and we all know how it ends.

World Hunger - A depressing subject got even more depressing last week. Some 60 heads of state gathered in Rome for a summit on food security rejected a United Nations call for rich nations to commit billions of dollars to develop agriculture in countries where hunger is widespread and also shot down the U.N.'s call for a pledge to end hunger by 2025. I realize that resources are limited and there is not an endless supply of money to fund every philanthropic endeavor, but this seems like a pretty worthwhile cause that could yield tangible results rather quickly as compared to ending global warming or ridding the world of nuclear weapons. About 1 billion people--almost one out of every six people on the planet--are underfed and a child somewhere dies of hunger every six seconds. Seriously, what am I missing here? How much more urgency is needed to justify some action on this?

Mexico - As if we needed another indication of just how bad the global recession has hit the United States. Now it appears that we're taking hand outs from our neighbors south of the border. Mexicans have begun sending money to their relatives north of the border, instead of the other way around. The so-called "reverse remittances," once extremely rare, are becocming more common as Mexicans who moved to the U.S. for work have lost their jobs. Banks report that money sent from Mexicans in the U.S. back home say that amount has dropped more than 13% in the past year. Lucky for Mexico it has a thriving drug trade that can help fill in for all that lost revenue from the U.S.

Nepal - A quarter-million aminals were slaughtered in a festival honoring Gadhimai, a Hindu goddess of power. That shreik you just heard came from the folks at PETA, who clearly had a very, very bad week. The festival is held every 5 years in Hindu communities areoud the world. The Nepal gathering is the largest. Following the ritual slaughter--mostly of buffaloes, goats, chickens and pigeons--the meat was taken back to villages for local feasts. The meat of animals consecrated to Gadhimai is said to protect Hindues from evil. Animal-rights activists reportedly encouraged pilgrims to substitute coconuts and other fruites for the sacrifice, but met with little success. Big surprise. Think about it. What self-respecting diety would be satisfied with a ritualistic sacrifice of fruit salad?

Potpourri - More head scratchers from--you guessed it--the world of juris prudence.

• Good Deeds - A Pennsylvania Boy Scout who spent more than 200 hours clearing a hiking trail in a city park has drawn the ire of a municipal union. A spokesperson for the Service Employees International Union threatened to file a grievance, saying only union members can work in the park.
  I guess the saying is true--no good deed goes unpunished.
• Marriage - A California man is suing the San Francisco International Airport for $15 million, claiming that the airport noise ruined his marriage. The man says his marriage "went downhill almost immediately upon moving" into the house in 2003 and he blames airplanes for driving his wife of 13 years to leave him.
  Hey, Einstein. When you were shopping around for houses, were you completely oblivious to all those airplanes flying around you? I'm not sure I'd blame the airport for your marital problems. Perhaps you should look for a different source. Might I suggest taking a look in the closest mirror?