What Caught My Eye Today

Wild Fires - Maybe it is just me, but I'm pretty sure this same deal happened in both California and Greece around this same time last year. A deadly wildfire that has blackened a wide swath of tinder-dry forest around Los Angeles made another menacing advance, surging toward thousands of suburban homes and a vital mountaintop broadcasting complex. Dude, this better not affect my ability to text and tweet. If that happens, I'm telling you, the gloves are definitely coming off. The flames have scorched 134 square miles of brush and threaten 12,000 homes. The blaze has also killed two firefighters, destroyed at least 21 homes and forced thousands of evacuations. The firefighters died when their truck drove off the side of a road with flames all around them. And if that isn't bad enough, this isn't even the most destructive fire in the state. The blaze in the Los Angeles foothills is the biggest but not most destructive of California's wildfires. Northeast of Sacramento, a fire destroyed 60 structures over the weekend, many of them homes in the town of Auburn.

And then there is Greece...

Wildfires burned out of control in the forests of Athens' northern suburbs for four days before firefighters contained them. The fires were the most destructive in decades in the Attica region and the worst in Greece since the devastating fires of 2007. Oops, so I was off by a year.

Thought we were done? Guess again...

Officials in the Australian state of Victoria introduced a "mega-fire" alert level that will warn people to flee approaching wildfires and leave homes undefended as unseasonal winter bushfires point to a searing summer ahead. Mega-fires form when several fires join up in a huge front, creating their own weather systems with hurricane strength winds driving storms of burning embers and walls of flame. That sounds bad. No, on second thought, make that mega-bad. You know, Mother Nature seems like she's got her knickers in a bunch over something. It's like she's blaming us for all those environmental issues (you know, like global warming and that big pile of junk in the middle of the Pacific Ocean). Totally unwarranted if you ask me--the planet could have warmed up all by itself. Sure we nudged it along a bit, but honestly girlfriend, you need to chill with all this fire stuff. It's not good for your complexion.

Turkey & Armenia - Turkey and its neighbor Armenia have moved closer to establishing diplomatic ties after decades of bitter mistrust on both sides. I'm not sure many folks in the U.S. appreciate just how big of a deal this is...or care. Fear not, that's why I'm here--to break it all down for you. Negotiations on the mending of ties have been brokered by Switzerland. Naturally. And as an added bonus, this may give the Swiss a welcome bit of good publicity after all the bad PR it has been enduring regarding its questionable bank secrecy laws. The two countries' dispute centers on the fate of Armenians under Turkish Ottoman rule nearly a century ago. Turkey has resisted widespread calls for it to recognize the mass killing of Armenians during World War I as an act of genocide. Interesting how the butchering of hundreds of thousands of your people can put a damper on relations with your neighbor. Relations have also been complicated by Turkish support for Azerbaijan in its armed conflict with Armenia over the disputed territory of Nagorno-Karabakh. Hmm. Turkey certainly doesn't seem interested in taking the path of least resistance does it. Maybe--and I just blue skying here--the Turks should take a look at how successful the U.S.'s strategy of picking sides in a conflict--that one could argue it shouldn't be meddling with in the first place--has been. That plan to pit Iran against Iraq and vice versa? Yeah, that's worked out real well for us.

Afghanistan - A top US general in Afghanistan has called for a revised military strategy, suggesting the current one is failing. The heck you say. Sources say General Stanley McChrystal sees protecting the Afghan people against the Taliban as the top priority. Seriously, where is all this nonsense coming from? The general's blunt assessment will say that the Afghan people are undergoing a crisis of confidence because the war against the Taliban has not made their lives better. The general goes on to say the aim should be for Afghan forces to take the lead; but their army will not be ready to do that for three years and it will take much longer for the police. Let's see here. We have a war that seems to be dragging out without much meaningful progress, a crisis of confidence from a civilian population that continues to get stuck in the cross-fire, and a domestic army that won't be ready to defend its population for at least the foreseeable future. Where have I heard this before?

What Caught My Eye Today

President Bush - It is a well-known fact that I'm not a huge fan of the 43rd President, so I'm as surprised as anyone to find myself defending him (it's a world gone mad, I tell you). Former Vice President Dick Cheney is working on a memoir of his time in President George W. Bush's administration. In it, Cheney accuses Bush of "going soft". Aides to Cheney say the former vice president simply cannot stay quiet about what he considers to the "moral weakness" of the administration's second term. Yeah, Cheney is one to talk about morality. Read on... In suspending the use of torture, seeking congressional approval for domestic surveillance, and refusing to pardon Lewis "Scooter" Libby, Bush, in Cheney's view, made "concessions to public sentiment" that revealed the president as just "an ordinary politician." I do my best to keep the content on this blog suitable for all ages, bit in this case, I'm going to make an exception. Mr. Cheney, your name suits you well, because you are, without a doubt, the biggest dick in the history of dickdom. How nice it must be for you to sit on the sidelines and criticize those how had the courage to admit that the policies they implemented needed to be changed, you pompous douche.

Okay, sorry about that. Let's move on shall we.

Africa - Eritrea and Ethiopia mush pay each other millions of dollars in compensation for damages arising for their 1989-2000 border war. The terms of the deal are rather interesting. An international tribunal calculated the total property damage on both sides and ruled that Ethiopia owes $164 million to Eritrea and that Eritrea owes Ethiopia $174 million. No need to break out the calculator. Basically Eritrea has to cut a $10 million check to Ethiopia. Eritrea has agreed to pay the debt. Isn't that nice. Does it seem odd to anyone, besides me, that war reparations for an 11 year conflict amount to less than $1 million a year?

France - Admittedly, I mock the French a fair bit. It's nothing personal; it merely amuses me. On this particular occasion, I'm going to do the exact opposite and tip my cap to them. Under an new government proposal, French tourists in hostile or unstable countries will have to reimburse the treasury for rescuing them. The proposed law would require travelers to cover the costs incurred in rescuing them from war zones, hostage-takings, and other dangerous situations. Diplomats, reporters, aid workers and business travelers would be exempt from the fees. I'm totally with the government on this one. Why should taxpayer money be spent rescuing tourists who are either too stupid or too reckless to stay out of war zones? If you are dumb enough to walk into a situation where people are shooting at each other (with real bullets, mind you) I say, "Good luck with that, spark plug. Send me a postcard."

Drugs - A study conducted by the U.S. Drug Enforcement Agency found that 85% to 95% of all bills circulating in the U.S. and Canada contain traces of cocaine, up form 67% in 2007. Like that surprises anyone.

Sports - Two items of note this past weekend...and only one has to do with cricket.

Cricket - The English won the Ashes! The English won the Ashes! The English won the Ashes! (Fred's Note: Baseball fans may catch the reference, otherwise just keep reading). After the better part of two months, the English national cricket team claimed victory over Australia in the best of five test bi-annual tournament...finally. For the record, 64 Ashes series have been played, with Australia winning 30 and England 29. The remaining five series were drawn, with Australia retaining the Ashes four times. And with that we close the book on cricket until 2011...or until my man, Rod turns me onto another worthy cricket tournament.

Golf - The ladies contested their version of the Ryder Cup--the Solheim Cup--this past weekend. The bi-annual team competition pits the U.S. against Europe and in a year where the U.S. team was heavily favored, they did not disappoint. They retained the Solheim Cup with a score of 16-12. The Americans have won the Cup 8 of the 11 times the event has been held. Interestingly enough, an American woman has not won an LPGA event so far in 2009.

Tennis - Apparently, this is really happened...though I remain a bit skeptical. A North Carolina woman is suing the city of Raleigh, North Carolina because no men will play tennis win her. The plaintiff says she was so routinely beating male opponents in the city-sponsored tennis league that the city scrapped a rule that penalized players for declining matches. The women wants $10,000 for her emotional distress. For the sake of argument, let's assume this is a legitimate story. While I am against frivolous lawsuits (seriously, where is the emotional distress is kicking the crap out of the opposite sex on a tennis court?), in principle I have to side with the player. Girlfriend was playing by the rules. Is it her fault that the guys sucked. The only thing city officials should have done was suggest that the men work on their serves a bit more.

What Caught My Eye Today

President Obama - President Barack Obama is officially taking a one week vacation when he heads to Martha's Vineyard. When you are talking about the leader of the free world, I guess this would sort of qualify as a "stay-cation," right? A long "to do" list -- two wars, worldwide recession and a host of legislative battles in store when he gets back, most notably the struggle over reforming the U.S. health system -- will make it hard for him to relax and disconnect. Sorry dude, you won't get any sympathy from me. We all have "stuff" to deal with. Sure, your "stuff" affects millions, sometimes, billions of people, but my "stuff" sucks too. The administration says Obama is doing only what other presidents, and many other Americans, do: taking a needed break during a busy year in a place that suits his family. The White House stresses that Obama is footing the bill himself -- estimated at $25,000 or more -- for the 28-acre (Blue Heron farm he is renting for the trip. Seriously, is the White House looking to give the President a medal. Last time I checked, most working stiffs had to pay for their vacation accommodations. Why should the President have it any different from the rest of us. Besides, $25,000? That's what, a single royalty check for this guy?

Afghanistan - The Afghans held themselves a presidential election this week, and as far as I can tell, everybody who ran for the position won. President Hamid Karzai and top challenger Abdullah Abdullah positioned themselves as the likely winner of Afghanistan's presidential election, one day after millions of Afghans braved Taliban threats and intimidation to cast ballots. Assuming we do at some point arrive at a single winner, what awaits this lucky chap? The next president faces an agenda filled with crises: rising insurgent violence, rampant corruption and a huge narcotics trade. Sounds lovely, don't it? Millions of Afghans defied threats to cast ballots, but turnout appeared weaker than the previous vote in 2004 because of violence, fear and disenchantment. U.S. officials had hoped for a wide turnout as a symbolic rejection of the insurgency. The voting was seen partly as a test of the ability of U.S. forces to protect civilians — the new top military priority — and the willingness of voters to accept that help. U.S. officials had hoped for a wide turnout as a symbolic rejection of the insurgency. A top election official told The Associated Press he estimated 40% to 50% of the country's 15 million registered voters cast ballots — far lower than the 70% who voted in the presidential election in 2004. I don't know that this turnout is necessarily a bad thing. After all, everything is relative. In a good year (actually, an exceptional year), the U.S. barely cracks 50% voter turnout, and we've been at this democracy thing a lot longer than the Afghan people.

Libya - Perhaps the folks in Tripoli could benefit from a little sensitivity training...or at the very least, pay a visit to the local proctologist to pull their heads out of their you-know-whats. The release of the only man convicted of blowing up a Pan Am flight in 1988 has brought high drama and controversy: the jeering mob outside a Scottish prison, the cheering crowd at a Tripoli airport, the furious families of the 270 people who died in the Lockerbie bombing. Britain on Friday condemned the "upsetting" scenes of jubilation in Tripoli at the return of Abdel Baset al-Megrahi and considered canceling a royal visit to Libya as a sign of displeasure. President Barack Obama said the warm welcome in Libya was "highly objectionable." By Libyan standards, al-Megrahi's welcome was relatively muted. Are you kidding me? It was an unusually low-key approach for a country that used to snap up any opportunity to snub the West and could easily bring out hundreds of thousands to cheer if it chose to. The guy was responsible for blowing up a plane with 270 people on it. That's not the sort of thing that warrants a ticker tape parade. I suppose the one thing we can all take some solace in is the fact that this jerk has terminal cancer and probably won't live but a few more months. Of course by then, a memorial statue may have been erected in his honor.

Chile - Chile said that tests show swine flu has jumped to birds, opening a new chapter in the global epidemic. Oh good, another chapter. After all, this has been such an exciting "read" so far. Chile's health ministry said it ordered a quarantine for two turkey farms outside the port city of Valparaiso after genetic tests confirmed sick birds were afflicted with the same virus that has caused a pandemic among humans. So far, the virus — a mixture of human, pig and bird genes — has proved to be very contagious but no more deadly than common seasonal flu. However, virus experts fear a more dangerous and easily transmitted strain could emerge if it combines again with avian flu, which is far more deadly but tougher to pass along. I hate be a naysayer--being a wise-ass is so much more my speed--but I have a feeling that the upcoming flu season in the Northern Hemisphere is going to--pardon the pun--blow chow in a big way.

Cricket - That's right my friends, it's time for the final act of the Ashes...thank goodness. For those of you who may have forgotten, the Ashes is a bi-annual cricket tournament between Australia and England consisting of 5 tests. In recent years, Australia has had England's number, but this year has been remarkably competitive with two draws and a win a piece. My man on the ground, Rod, has been doing his best to enlighten me on the finer points of this sport. Alas, being the simpleton that I am, Rod has not had much success. So here is the latest news at the close of the second day of the final test: Fifteen wickets tumbled on a hectic day which finished with England 58 for three in their second innings, a lead of 230 runs, after Australia had collapsed to 160 all out. I think that means England is winning, but after well over a month of following this competition, I can say in all honesty -- I don't have clue.

What Caught My Eye Today

Afghanistan - Threats of Taliban violence and rumors of fraud cast a shadow over Afghanistan's election, in which millions of voters will choose a new president to lead a nation plagued by armed insurgency, drugs, corruption and a feeble government. I don't mean to make light of a serious situation (yeah, right), but how is that any different from the job that that Obama guy won last November? International officials predict an imperfect outcome for a vote that they hope Afghans will accept as credible. Always a safe strategy--set the bar so low that any outcome will be viewed as a success. Heck, I play that card with my boss on a daily basis. President Hamid Karzai, who has held power since the Taliban was ousted eight years ago, is favored to finish first among 36 official candidates. Thirty-six candidates? Admittedly, I am an underachiever, but who in their right mind would want this job?

Norway - Norway's ambassador to the United Nations has accused Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon of weak, ineffective and at times counterproductive leadership during recent crises. I'd expect that sort language from the likes of...well, the United States comes to mind, but Norway? What up with that? The letter comes just days before Ban visits Norway, an advocate of active multilateral diplomacy which has worked with the United Nations on a number of peace initiatives including the now collapsed Oslo accords between Israel and the Palestinians. Way to roll out the old welcome mat, guys. The letter said said Ban had failed to make the United Nations a relevant voice during the financial crisis; that Ban was a mere "passive observer" after Myanmar's arrest of opposition leader Aung Sang Suu Kyi and that his visit there to meet hardline generals was "fruitless"; that Ban was "helpless" in trying to curb atrocities during the end of the civil war in Sri Lanka earlier this year; and that in other "crisis areas" such as Darfur, Somalia, Pakistan, Zimbabwe and Congo, Ban's "passive and not very committed appeals seem to fall on deaf ears. Dude, that's harsh. Completely spot on, but harsh nevertheless.

This next item, probably isn't going to make Ban any more popular with the Norwegians.

Zimbabwe - According to the United Nations, the "humanitarian situation remains serious" in Zimbabwe amid cholera, starvation and a continuing economic crisis. Cholera thrives in areas without clean water and proper sanitation, and the United Nations has said 6 million people in Zimbabwe -- more than half the population -- have limited or no access to safe water and sanitation in rural and urban areas. It also estimates more than 5 million in the nation face starvation. Now here's the kicker. All this stuff is going down despite the fact that Zimbabwe is one of the few nations in Africa not dealing with an armed conflict. So basically, even under the best conditions that one could hope for in a situation like this, the U.N. finds itself unable to make any meaningful progress to deal with these issues. You know, maybe the Norwegians are onto something here.

Mortality - It's the headline that amuses me most. "CDC says life expectancy in U.S. up, deaths not." The U.S. life expectancy has risen to a new high, now standing at nearly 78 years. The increase is due mainly to falling death rates in almost all the leading causes of death. Isn't that a bit redundant? Honestly, it seems to me rather obvious that if people are living longer, then death rates would have to be falling. Am I missing something here? The United States continues to lag behind about 30 other countries in estimated life span. Japan has the longest life expectancy — 83 years. Heart disease and cancer together are the cause of nearly half of U.S. fatalities. The death rate from heart disease dropped nearly 5%, the cancer death rate nearly 2%, and the HIV death rate dropped 10%. Progress has been made; of that there is no doubt. But just because people are living longer doesn't necessarily mean that they are happy about it. Bear with me on this one. If the day comes that my plumbing cannot function without a good deal of help (and that day will come), I'm not so sure that I'll be in the mood to celebrate the fact that I'll have to deal with that for several years. I know it's easy to say this now (most of my body parts are still fully functional), but I'm thinking once the pipe start leaking (or worse yet get completely clogged up), I'm not sure that I'll be that eager to call in the Roto-Rooter guys.

What Caught My Eye Today

Golf - What is the only headline that could trump Tiger Woods winning his 15th major championship? How about Tiger Woods not winning his 15th major championship? Dude had a two stroke heads going into the final round of the PGA Championship and ended up losing by 3-strokes to 101st ranked Y. E. Yang from South Korea. To be fair, Tiger could not buy a putt on Sunday and this dude Yang played probably the round of his life, but still, Tiger was 14-0 in closing the deal on a major when leading on Sunday, so, yeah, this was a bit of a surprise to pretty much everyone but Mr. Yang.

Cuba - I don't like to laugh at the expense of someone else's hardship, but you have to admit, the circumstances here are rather amusing. Cuba, in the grip of a serious economic crisis, is running short of toilet paper and may not get sufficient supplies until the end of the year. Cuba both imports toilet paper and produces its own, but does not currently have enough raw materials to make it. Here's my favorite part. "The corporation has taken all the steps so that at the end of the year there will be an important importation of toilet paper," an official said on state-run radio. Important? I should say so. I don't think I'm alone in thinking when I'm done doing my thing, there is pretty much nothing that ranks higher up on my list of priorities than finishing up the paperwork; and you cannot do that if you don't have any paper to work with. I'm just saying.

Dance - Former Republican Majority Leader Tom DeLay will join 15 celebrities from the worlds of entertainment and sports in kicking up their heels on the new season of "Dancing With the Stars. Huh? Why would he subject himself to this sort of ridicule? You would think that he would have gotten his fill of embarrassment from being a U.S. Congressman. Other hopefuls include entertainer Donny Osmond; singers Mya, Macy Gray and Aaron Carter; actors Melissa Joan Hart, Debi Mazar and Ashley Hamilton (son of George); models Joanna Krupa and Kathy Ireland; reality stars Kelly Osbourne and Mark Dacascos ("the Chairman" on Food Network's "Iron Chef America"); mixed martial artist Chuck Liddell; professional snowboarder Louie Vito; Olympic swimmer Natalie Coughlin; and former Dallas Cowboys wide receiver Michael Irvin. My money is on Michael Irvin and Donny Osmond for the guys and Joanna Krupa and Natalie Coughlin for the gals to make the finals. And you might as well give the trophy to Irvin now. Those football players have quite the following...though I haven't the faintest idea why.

India - Here's a disturbing bit of news--though, I suppose not altogether surprising.Few outsiders realize that India has its own Hindu version of the Taliban. Extremist Hindu authorities known as khap panchayats act like parliaments unto themselves, enforcing Hindu orthodoxy through "honor killings" and other severe punishments. Their decree that every woman must bear at least two sons is behind much of the selective abortion and female infanticide in India. Khaps have existed in northwestern India for centuries and some are known to control thousands of villages. What is it with all these religious interpretations that appear to throw women under the proverbial bus? Seriously, I'm beginning to wonder if all these guys that are making up these rules (I can only assume that the authorities are mostly male) are making up for crappy childhoods and lashing out as a result of some sort of maternal neglect.

And while we are on the subject...

Psychology - We learn more from failure than success, says the old aphorism. Obviously this aphorism was the product of some loser's imagination. A new study out of the Massachuetts Institute of Technology suggests that this is simply not true. Researchers trained monkeys to turn their heads left or right depending on which image from a set of pictures was shown. When the monkeys chose correctly, they received a reward. The study found that when the monkeys made the right choices, the neurons involved in learning and discrimination were very active. According to the researchers, success breeds success, because the rewards it produces raise attention levels. Oh great, another aphorism. That aside, I believe the gist of this study suggests that doing things correctly tends to be rewarded. Given that positive reinforcement, people tend to try to do things correctly more often. They needed a study to figure this out?

What Caught My Eye Today

Global Economy - What you are about to read is not a typo. It is indeed a story about good news regarding the global economy. The French and German economies both grew by 0.3% between April and June, bringing to an end year-long recessions in Europe's largest economies. Stronger exports and consumer spending, as well as government stimulus packages, contributed to the growth. The data came as a surprise, with few analysts expecting Germany and France to start to recover so soon. I'm pretty sure this is going to come off as rather petty of me--so be it--but I regard this as yet another reason to really, really not like the French. Economic activity in the eurozone fell by 0.1%, showing the region as a whole is still in recession. Yeah, I'm sure France and Germany are going to be real popular with the rest of Europe.

Healthcare Reform - No doubt, those of you who follow the news have been following the rather heated debates about the proposed healthcare reforms coming out of Washington. I haven't commented on this story sooner because, frankly, there's been enough coverage without me piling on even more. But when the story warrants "pearls of wisdom" from our good friend Sarah Palin, I feel a responsibility to comment. Sarah Palin refused to retreat from her debunked claim that a proposed health care overhaul would create "death panels." Palin argued that the elderly and ailing would be coerced into accepting minimal end-of-life care to reduce health care costs based on the Democratic bill in the House. You go, girl. Show those socialist pigs in Washington that we're not going to allow them to "pull the plug" on us. But there will be no "death panels" under the legislation being considered. In fact, the provision in the bill would allow Medicare to pay doctors for voluntary counseling sessions that address end-of-life issues. To the unsuspecting observer, this might suggest that Palin may not have her facts straight and may be overreacting. Poopy gook! This is just another liberal conspiracy attempting to portray Palin as a blowhard dullard. Of course, you have to admit that it is a pretty good conspiracy (either that or Palin is more of a simpleton than any of us gave her credit for).

Iran - Three independent United Nations human rights experts have accused Iran of torturing confessions from detainees charged with fomenting political unrest. Iranian officials have denied the allegations. I'm not sure which shocks me more--that Iran is denying the allegations or that the United Nations has finally acknowledged something that the rest of the world has known for months. Let's call it a draw, shall we? The treatment of detainees at Iran's prisons has increasingly become a divisive issue within Iran's Islamic leadership, as reformists continue to accuse the hardline government of allowing abuse and torture in attempts to coerce false confessions. Being the "glass half full" sort, I suppose the fact that a grow faction within the Islamic leadership sees this type of behavior as intolerable suggests that a day of reckoning may not be too far off in the future.

Golf - The headline today will likely read that Tiger Woods has the lead after the first round of the year's last major, the PGA Championship in Hazeltine, Minnesota. I however, would like to focus on a story that appeared earlier in the week. Tiger Woods has vanquished almost every foe golf offers, even saying he would defeat his 2000 self in a showdown. But there is a fight he always loses - the one to stop yelling profanities. Woods sometimes will scream obscenities after making a bad shot, at times picked up by television microphones. While not the only golfer to curse, his exclamations of frustration are magnified by the constant scrutiny he faces. I think we can all relate to the occasional slip of the tongue. Someone once suggested to me that instead of dropping an F-bomb, say something a bit more watered down. That way you can still express yourself, but in a less coarse manner. Let me illustrate in this response to those that find Woods' occasional display of human emotion offensive. Who the "teddy bear" died and made you the "sugar" morality police. I'd like to see you "puppy dog" "baby doll" horse's "butterfly" react half as well as Woods does under the microscope you have placed him under. The guy is not a robot, you sanctimonious "kitty cat". See. Isn't that much better?

Cricket - No need to worry, you all haven't missed anything. The fifth and deciding test of the biannual Ashes cricket contest between Australia and England doesn't start until next week. I have in on good authority, that there is a good chance that there will be a winner, though someone will probably have to explain to me which side won. Stay tuned.

What Caught My Eye Today

World Population - The world's population is forecast to hit 7 billion in 2011, the vast majority of its growth coming in developing and, in many cases, the poorest nations. A staggering 97% of global growth over the next 40 years will happen in Asia, Africa, Latin America and the Caribbean, according to the Population Reference Bureau's 2009 World Population Data Sheet (click here). High fertility rates and a young population base in the developing world will fuel most of the growth, especially in Africa, where women often give birth to six or seven children over a lifetime. The number is about two in the United States and 1.5 in Canada. By 2050, India is projected to be the world's most populous nation at 1.7 billion, overtaking current leader China, which is forecast to hit 1.4 billion. The United States is expected to reach 439 million for No. 3 on the list. I love this next bit of analysis by one of the authors of the report. "The increase from 6 billion to 7 billion is likely to take 12 years, as did the increase from 5 billion to 6 billion. Both events are unprecedented in world history." Really? See I thought unprecedented meant something that never happened before. If the last population increase of 1 billion took 12 years, that would suggest that this second increase of 1 billion over 12 years isn't without precedence (I'm just saying). And if you think about it, given the amount of time is the same, the rate of population increase is actually decreasing--16.7% from 6 to 7 billion vs. 20% from 5 to 6 billion (again, I'm just saying). Any way that you look at it, that's a lot of people, and the vast majority of them don't look to have a very easy go of things.

France - Officials at a local pool banned a Muslim woman garbed in a head-to-toe swimsuit--dubbed a "burquini"--because of France's pool hygiene standards. Under the policy, swimmers are not allowed in pools with baggy clothing, including surfer-style shorts. Only figure-hugging suits are permitted. The all-body suits, worn regularly by some women in Muslim countries, are growing popular in the West. They can be seen on female Muslim lifeguards on Australian beaches, in the United States and various European countries, from the Netherlands to Sweden. France is home to western Europe's largest Muslim population, estimated at 5 million, and Islam is the nation's second religion after Roman Catholicism. I'm all for hygiene, but how exactly do these officials think these leisure suits--I mean burquini--are going to cause a public health hazard. I'm of the opinion that the spectacle caused by some folks in their "figure-hugging suits" is much more hazardous than anything related to wearing a "burquini. (Fred's Note: I labored quite a bit to make that last sentence as tame as I could).

Armageddon - As frequent readers are well aware, I like to keep abreast of all the ways that the world could end on the off chance that a completely irresponsible shopping spree might be in order. This time, I bring you killer asteroids. NASA is charged with spotting most of the asteroids that pose a threat to Earth but doesn't have the money to complete the job. That's because even though Congress assigned the space agency that mission four years ago, it never gave NASA the money to build the necessary telescopes. And the United States is practically the only government doing anything at all. And that surprises who? NASA estimates that there are about 20,000 asteroids and comets in our solar system that are potential threats. So far, scientists know where about 6,000 of these objects are. That's a shame, isn't it? NASA calculated that to spot the asteroids as required by law would mean spending about $800 million between now and 2020. At the moment, NASA has identified about five near-Earth objects that pose better than a 1-in-a-million risk of hitting Earth and being big enough to cause serious damage. That number changes from time to time, as new asteroids are added and old ones are removed as information is gathered on their orbits. See, nothing to worry about, nothing at all. I guess I'll plan that first class trip to the tropics for another time.

Potpourri - Ah yes, my friends. It's time again for another edition of news oddities that beg the question, "Does this actually qualify as news?"

• Wisconsin - The Wisconsin State Fair introduced two new taste treats at this year's event: chocolate-covered bacon on a stick and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches dipped in pancake batter and deep-fried.
  You can almost feel your arteries hardening just thinking about them.
• Defamation - A Chicago landlord sued a former tenant for defamation after she complained in a Twitter message that her apartment was moldy. She was accused of publishing "a false and defamatory tweet."
  Which, by the way, was broadcast to all 20 of her friends prior to the news wires picking up on this nonsense and sharing this little nugget with the entire world.
• College Graduates - A graduate of New York City's Monroe College, sued her alma mater for the $70,000 she spent on tuition, saying she has been unable to find a job since earning her degree in April.
  As long as everybody is suing everybody, might I suggest to Monroe College to file a counter suit for misrepresentation. I'm betting they accepted this student in the first place on the basis that she displayed some intelligence. Clearly, she lied on the application.

What Caught My Eye Today

HIV - According to French scientists, a new strain of HIV has been identified in a Cameroonian woman. That can't be good. The three previously known strains are related to a virus found in chimps, but the new one appears related to a form of simian immunodeficiency virus recently discovered in wild gorillas. So far, the woman shows no signs of AIDS and is not taking any HIV drugs. The finding highlights the need to watch closely for the emergence of new HIV variants, particularly in western Central Africa. I find it interesting how something like this gets practical no media coverage, while the H1N1 virus is being played up like the second coming of the plague.

Speaking of which...

Argentina - Schools across most of Argentina have been closed for a month because of an outbreak of swine flu. At least 230 people of died from the virus so far. The Education Ministry ordered the regular winter break of two weeks to be doubled to help prevent further infections. Argentina has reported the second largest number of H1N1 flu cases in the world, behind the United States. I heard we were contemplating longer school closures as well, but then we reconsidered and reduced the school closures or eliminated them altogether. Turns out government officials are worried that our nation's youth is dumb enough already without missing even more class time.

I did mention the plague didn't I?

China - A town in western China is under quarantine due to an outbreak of pneumonic plague, which has killed 3 people. Pneumonic plague is the deadliest and most rare form of plague. Unlike the bubonic plague, which is spread only by fleas, pneumonic plague can be spread from person to person. Untreated, it kills 60% of its victims, though early treatment cuts the death rate to 15%. A spokesperson for the World Health Organization said, "It's not something we're very worried about, but we are keeping an eye on it." Not worried about an affliction that--even when treated--is lethal to 15 out of 100 people? Are you kidding me? The swine flu--which has a rate of fatality of a couple of hundredths of a percent--has the WHO flipping out. Am I missing something here?

Estonia - In the latest Happy Planet Index (click here), an international survey of "life satisfaction", Estonia scored last in all of Europe. The researchers who conducted the survey said that Estonians seem to have a lack of "social cohesion." The index combines environmental impact with human well-being to measure the environmental efficiency with which, country by country, people live long and happy lives. At the risk of stating the obvious, this piqued my interest enough to see how well some other countries fared on this list. Strangely, the folks in Central America seem quite content with their lives. The top four (Costa Rica, Dominican Republic, Jamaica and Guatemala) all come from the same region. China comes in at #20, France at #71, the United Kingdom at #74, Iraq at #79, Iran at #81, Canada at #89, Russia at #108, and the good ol' United States coming in at a stellar #114. Estonia ranked #131, just so you know. And if you are a glass half empty sort of person, then Zimbabwe is the place for you. Those poor schmucks came in dead last on this survey.

Cricket - According to my eyes on the ground in the UK, the Australians did not beat the English in the fourth test of the biannual cricket tournament. I want to make sure I've got this right--"It was not so much a victory for the Aussies as a total thrashing." Now for those of you who have been paying attention (and I'm sure there is at least one of you out there), the series is all tied up going into the fifth and final test later this week. Stay tuned.

Golf - I'm thinking that rather than calling it the World Golf Championship it would be easier to it Tiger Woods Trophy Case. Dude won his 16th WGC trophy, fth of the season and 70th overall this past weekend at the Firestone Invitational. Did I mention that he was three strokes behind at the start of the final round and ended up winning by four. That just ain't right.

What Caught My Eye Today

Fred's Note: Every once and a while I cast aside the regular headlines in order to give those more obscure newsmakers their moment in the sun. I am and, no doubt, will continue to be amazed at the creativity of the human race and more so of those who manage to witness and report on that creativity.

New York - I appreciate that the world faces all sorts of challenges ranging from terrorism to global warming. I feel compelled to add one more item to that list, the pollution of an already rather suspect gene pool. I offer the following story to illustrate my concern. The family of a New York City teenager plans to sue the city after their 15-year-old daughter fell into an open manhole while texting on her cell phone. The girl suffered only a few scrapes in the 5-foot fall, but her mother says the city must compensate her for the trauma of landing in the sewer. Yeah, that's your kid's biggest problem. Maybe you should consider having someone look into the possibility of removing your daughter's head from her butt so that she can pay a little more attention to the world around her.

Georgia - 10,000 people flocked to East Dublin, Georgia for the annual Redneck Games, featuring such tradition-rich competitions as bobbing for pig's feet, belly flopping into a giant mud pit, spitting watermelon seeds and making farting noises with your armpit. Hmm. Good for them. Lest you think that I'm making this up, there's a web site (click here) dedicated to this annual event. (They do this every year? Dear God, why?) Suffice it to say that a picture is worth a thousand words.

Egypt - Perhaps you've heard of the saying "there must be something funny in the water". Usually there is, but this is a bit of a stretch. A Polish woman is suing an Egyptian hotel, claiming that its swimming pool made her teenage daughter pregnant. The suit claims that stray sperm in the pool must have impregnated her 13-year-old daughter while the family was on vacation. According to reports, "the mother is adamant that her daughter didn't meet any boys while she was there." Sure she didn't.

Humor - I try to keep the content on my blog suitable for all ages, though this joke might stretch that edict just a bit. Bearing that in mind, I think it's important to take a moment every once and a while to put aside all the doom and gloom that seems to dominate the headlines and have a good chuckle.

A wife comes home and turns on the lights. They flicker. "Honey," she asks her husband, "can you fix this light switch?" He replies, "What do I look like, an electrician?" The husband then goes to the bar and when he returns home the lights are working fine. "Who fixed the light?" he asks his wife. She responses, "I asked the neighbor, and he said he'd do it for either a baked cake or a quickie." The husband asks, "So what kind of cake did you bake him?" The wife calmly answers, "Who do I look like, Betty Crocker."

Remember, my friends, laughter is always the best medicine. See you next time.

Cricket - Oh yes, the Ashes continues, loyal readers. As we go to press today, the fourth of five tests between Australia and England is in progress. I think (and by that I mean I haven't got the faintest clue) that Australia is winning. I believe that is what "Australia on 174 for 4 wickets after 39.2 overs" means. That certainly. sounds better than the "102 for 10 wickets after 33.5 overs" that England got. Of course this is just 1st inning action, so the outcome far from certain. Heck, I imagine that even after the test is over, someone will have to explain to me who won.

What Caught My Eye Today

North Korea - It is amazing what a little diplomacy (and stroking of one's ego) can accomplish these days. Former President Bill Clinton met with North Korean leader Kim Jong Il on the first day of a surprise mission to Pyongyang to negotiate the release of two Americans, holding "exhaustive" talks on a wide range of topics. Shortly thereafter, North Korean media reported that Kim Jong Il had pardoned two American journalists and ordered their release during Clinton's visit. Damn, that was fast. As I starting today's posting, this was breaking news, so I don't have any more details to share. Though I think it is safe to say, that Kim Jong Il enjoyed being visited by a former U.S. President so he could show off his Napoleon complex while the world was watching. Of course, if this little sideshow leads to more fruitful talks on more substantive issues--like nuclear weapons--then who am I to criticize anything.

Iran - Maybe, after he's done in Pyongyang, he can catch a flight to Tehran to sort out this next mess. Iran has arrested three Americans for illegally entering the country from neighboring Iraq and authorities were investigating whether to charge them with spying. U.S. officials rejected the allegation, and a security official in Iraq said the three were merely backpackers who got lost while hiking in a mountainous region where the Iran-Iraq border is not clearly marked. Yeah there's a great defense--"They couldn't possibly be spies. Hell they cannot even read a map, for Pete's sake." Iranian state television said the latest case involving the Americans was being used by the West as anti-Iranian propaganda, and questioned whether they were hikers. You all think pretty highly of yourselves, don't you? I hate to burst your bubble, but the average American probably couldn't even find Iran on a map let alone care one bit about the happenings in Iran. I'm thinking, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is making a play to rub elbows with Bill Clinton. If Kim Il Jong can pull it off, why can't he?

Sudan - Sudanese police fired tear gas and beat women protesting at the trial of a female journalist who faces a flogging for wearing trousers in public. The journalist could receive 40 lashes if found guilty of violating the country's indecency law which follows a strict interpretation of Islam. The accused journalist said the law is un-Islamic and "oppressive," and she's trying to use her trial to rally support to change it. The 1991 indecency law was adopted by Sudan's Islamic regime which came to power after a coup in 1989. It follows a strict interpretation of Islamic law that imposes physical punishment on "those who commit an indecent act that violates public morale; or who dress indecently." Trousers are considered indecent under the law. Someone, anyone, please explain to me how a pair of pants could be consider indecent? I can appreciate the possibility of trousers being in poor taste, but indecent? I just don't see it. Seriously, where in the Koran does it say that trousers are indecent? Activists and lawyers say it is implemented arbitrarily, and leaves the definition of "indecent acts" up to the implementing police officer. How convenient for them. That certainly would make swift justice (for lack of a better term) much easier to dispense with. Flogging is a common punishment for drinking and making alcohol, and whatever else the law enforcer deems indecent. You have to hand it to these guys--No hang ups with due process and a single form of punishment. Now that's what I would call efficient. Barbaric, inhumane and cruel, but efficient.

Cricket - The Ashes (a bi-annual tournament between England and Australia) continues later this week with the fourth of five tests. According to my main man, Rod, England and Australia traded whoop-assings in the third test (I'm paraphrasing a bit) and I think the result was a draw. Which means England still holds a slight lead over Australia, having won the second test. I'll keep you posted--or at least try to. The commentary on these matches is harder to follow than the action itself.