What Caught My Eye Today - Christmas Eve Edition

Santa - To all you stupid heads, poo-poo faces and other naysayers who don't believe in Santa--first of all, go piss off. Secondly, I have irrefutable proof that you jerks are wrong. If Santa Claus didn't exist do you think the folks at the North American Air Defence (NORAD) would wast their time tracking Santa's trek around the world (click here)? I think not. So there.

Barack Obama - Yo, Vladimir Putin! Check this out. Now us Americans have a buffed out head of state too. "FIT FOR OFFICE: Buff Bam is Hawaii hunk," the New York Post gushed on its cover above a photo of the future president strolling without a shirt in Hawaii. The Drudge Report called him "President Beefcake" while TMZ said the president-elect is "still humble enough to do laundry — ON HIS ABS!" High praise indeed. Obama's physique has been well-exposed; photographers snapped him body surfing in Hawaii during the campaign. He was on the November cover of Men's Health and detailed his workouts for the magazine: 45 minutes, six days a week, alternating weights and cardio. And check this out. In between workouts, Obama plans to be the leader of the free world. Is this guy superman or what?

Economy - I haven't reported on the economy in awhile, but lest you feared otherwise, it still sucks. New claims for unemployment benefits rose more than expected, while consumers cut back on their spending for the fifth straight month amid a deepening recession. The government reported that the overall economy, as measured by gross domestic product, was declining at an annual rate of 0.5% in the July-September quarter. Analysts believe the contraction will accelerate in the current quarter. Some are forecasting that GDP will plunge at an annual rate of 6%, which would be the worst showing since 1982. I usually try to look at things from a "glass half full" perspective, but it gets rather challenging to do so when said cup is bone dry.

Zimbabwe - You have to appreciate the irony of this next story. Nobel Peace Prize winner Desmond Tutu said that the international community must use the threat of force to oust Zimbabwe's Robert Mugabe from office. See what I mean? Tutu said that he hopes African Union members can be persuaded to issue Mugabe an ultimatum, threatening to intervene if he continues clings to power in the ailing nation and said Mugabe should also be warned that he could face prosecution at the International Criminal Court for his violent suppression of opponents. Somehow I don't think Mugabe will care too much about these threats, assuming the unlikely event that the international community comes to an agreement to do so. Here's a dude how seems completely unfazed by a cholera epidemic that has killed more than 1,100 people and sicked hundreds of thousands more. Still, it saying something when a situation deteriorates so much that a Nobel Peace Prize winner advocates the use of force to deal with it.

Alaska - A giant snowman named Snowzilla has mysteriously appeared again this year in Anchorage, Alaska despite the city's cease-and-desist order. For the last three years, Snowzilla — to the delight of some and the chagrin of others — has been a very large feature in an Anchorage native's front yard. In 2005, Snowzilla rose 16 feet. He had a corncob pipe and a carrot nose and two eyes made out of beer bottles. This year, Snowzilla is estimated to be 25 feet tall. He's wearing a black stovepipe hat and scarf. City officials this year deemed Snowzilla a public nuisance and safety hazard. A cease-and-desist order was issued. Seriously, what do they put in the water up there? A cease-and-desist order for a freakin' snowman. Lighten up, for crying out loud. It's Christmas.