What Caught My Eye Today

Sports - I don't usually start off with sports stories, but have to make an exception. Between the epic finishes of the quarter final matches in the Women's World Cup and the bloodbath (literally) that the Tour de France is becoming, yesterday had so much drama, you would have had a hard time selling the stories to Hollywood if they had not actually happened. First, soccer. Three of the four quarterfinal matches when to extra time and two of those went to penalty kicks. No match came close to rivaling the U.S. - Brazil contest. Thanks to some of the lousiest refereeing--ever--on both sides of the ball, the U.S. played a man down for the last 25 minutes of regulation plus thirty minute of extra time. If that isn't enough, the U.S. was less than a minute away from exiting the tournament before Abby Wambach put in a last second (again, I mean that literally) to tie the match. And if that isn't enough, the U.S. finally won on penalty kicks thanks to an amazing save by goaltender Abby Wambach. And if that isn't enough, check your pulse, you might be dead and just not know it. And then there is the Tour de France. I've already mentioned numerous crashes in prior stages and yes they continued into stage nine. But there was another twist in yesterday's action. A car actually took down two riders in a breakaway to avoid hitting a tree. Apparently, the idiot driver thought it was better to nudge a bicycle going about 35 miles an hour rather than to apply his brakes and let the rider pass--but I digress. The amazing thing is that the two riders taken down by the car not only got back on their bicycles, but they both finished the stage and plan to continue riding when the Tour resumes tomorrow. And did I mention that one of the riders that got thrown when flying into a barbed wired fence?

India - A stunning hoard of treasure, possibly the largest in the world, was discovered in the vaults of a Hindu temple including bags of diamons, other gems and gold coins worth at least $22 billion. This next part is what caught my attention. I love this country. The vaults were opened after a local lawyer asked for an audit to settle allegations that the temple funds were being mismanaged. The temple is run by a trust controlled by descendants of the royal family which once ruled the area and is believed to have donated much of the treasure over the centuries as offings to the god Vishnu. India's Supreme Court ordered that the remaining treasure be preserved in a museum. Dude, there are 3 sets of people you never piss off, your food server, your boss's administrative assistance, and divine beings. I can just imagine the headline, "India's Supreme Court Mysterious Disappears Off The Face Of The Earth; God Vishnu Reported To Smile At The News"

Potpourri - Let's call this installment the "Oh my god, you cannot be serious" edition.

• Sunscreen - Children attending summer camp in Maryland must get parental permission to wear sunscreen. Camp counselors have been banned from applying sunscreen to campers, out of concern for inappropriate touching, but then said it was okay with written consent. Camp officials said they are trying to "walk a fine line between protecting kids' skin and making sure they feel personally safe." Say it with me now (you know you want to)... Oh my god, you cannot be serious!!!
• A Michigan prison inmate is suing his jail for the right to read pornography saying he suffers from Chronic Masturbation Syndrome. The inmate says that because he suffers from CMS, the jail's ban on pornography constitutes "cruel and unusually punishment" and is clearly designed to deprive him of any sort of sexual gratification. For the record, I did not make this story up. Second (because I clearly have too much time on my hands), I did a search on CMS and could not find a single credible source to that suggests this is a legitimate condition. I found a listing for Traumatic Masturbation Syndrome, but was afraid to click on the link. That not withstanding, oh my god, you cannot be serious.
• Shaving - An Oregon company has begun selling the Safirro Iridium razor, featuring solid white sapphire blades that are sharpened to 5,000 thinner than the width of a hair and will last forever for $100,000. I'm not sure which is more perplexing--what motivates a company to produce a $100,000 razor, or the idiot who feels the need to spend $100,000 on said razor.
• Dog Poop - The manager of a New Hampshire apartment complex requires dog owners to submit a DNA sample form their pets, so that any unscooped poop can be traced. And with this little gem, we conclude this edition of "oh my god, you cannot be serious"