What Caught My Eye Today

Real Estate (Part I) - The fine folks at Forbes measured 200 Metropolitan Statistical Areas looking at the last five years of income growth, current unemployment rates and cost of living, crime rates and arts and culture ratings, using data from the Bureau of Labor Statistics, Moody's Economy.com, the FBI Crime Report and Sperling's Best Places (what a mouthful) to come up with its list of the 5 most livable cities in the U.S. Think your town made the list?

1. Pittsburg, PA. Pittsburgh's art scene, job prospects, safety and affordability make it the most livable city in the country.
   Just out of curiosity, where does desirability fit into this ranking? I have yet to meet the person "jonesing" to relocate to Pittsburgh.
2. Ogden, UT. Unemployment in the metro is below average, and incomes have increased by 3.4% over the last five years.
   Did you know that Ogden is home to Weber State University? Neither did I. Did you care? Neither did I.
3. Provo, UT. The metro has the highest five-year income growth, 5.2%, of all the cities measured.
   I have a theory about these income increases. I'm thinking there isn't much to do in these places, what with everything being closed on Sundays, so maybe these folks have all this income because there is nothing to spend that income on.
4. Ann Arbor, MI.
   Great college parties...I guess.
5. Harrisburg, PA
   Harrisburg? Honestly, does desirability factor into this at all?

Real Estate (Part II) - Okay, so that last list is questionable at best. Now let's have some real fun and check out the five most miserable cities (again based on rankings compiled by Forbes).

1. Cleveland, OH. Cleveland secured the position thanks to its high unemployment, high taxes, lousy weather, corruption by public officials and crummy sports teams.
   Finally, a ranking that I do not dispute (sorry Cleveland), though I bet LeBron James might dispute that statement about lousy sports teams.
2. Stockton, CA. Unemployment and crime continue to be major issues and Stockton residents have average commutes that are among the highest in the country. Plus, like all Californians, they suffer from onerous sales and income taxes.
   These dudes are suffering enough as it is. I cannot bring myself to pile on any more misery.
3. Memphis, TN. Memphis has the second-worst rate of violent crime in the country and an alarming rate of convicted public officials.
   All that might be true, but they have some wicked good barbecue in Memphis.
4. Detroit, MI.
   Ah, Detroit. I don't care what the rankings say. You'll always be best of the worst on my list.
5. Flint, MI.
   Thank you, auto industry.

Men - Alright, boys. Your wildest dreams are about to be answered. At long last (courtesy of Esquire magazine), we have the definitive list of what the ideal man should be...according to the ladies.

At 18:
He should be compassionate, at least. Anything to get to second base, right?
He should be good with the parents. Yours or his?
He should have a goal. He does. After taking second base, steal third and hope the reach home by the end of the first date.
He should know how to whittle wood. Is this a sex thing? If so, what pray tell does "whittle wood" pertain to?
We don't expect very much, to be honest. That's probably best.

At 27:
He should be reliable. Keep reaching for those stars, ladies.
He shouldn't rely on text messaging as a tool of courtship. Exactly. I find booze is much more effective anyway.
He should have a "way" about him. Oh he does. The question is whether the ladies like that "way".
He should have traveled the world. Right. That whole establishing a career is totally overrated.
He should know how to cook one thing really well. That would be chili.
He should have a political affiliation. Independent counts, right? Or is that just a fancy way of saying, I'm too lazy to vote for the next politician who gets to screw me.
He should, every now and then, substitute a light beer with Scotch on the rocks. Seriously, that's important to you?
He should behave as if his mother raised him correctly — even if she didn't. Of course! What every girl hopes for--a mama's boy.

At 35:
He should not have a belly. Quid pro quo, ladies. Quid pro quo. Unless, of course you are carrying our offspring. You get a pass in that case.
He should have decided on a sexual preference. You mean besides..."Yes"?
He should possess the thoughtfulness required to help a mom with a stroller and two kids up the stairs. It's not about the thoughtfulness; it's the motivation to expend energy on a deed that is likely to have little or no upside. Most men, could derive the same satisfaction consuming a cold beer.
He should not have mommy issues. Who's mommy, yours or his?
He should have moved on from pickup lines to conversation starters. So like, "Would you like to to sleep with me?" isn't interesting enough to start a dialogue?
He should want the party to end at some point. This is all about the timing. I'm sure the ladies are just as unhappy when boyfriend is ready to call it a night, before her party has peaked--so to speak.

At 44:
He should be a real partner. As opposed to what, an imaginary friend?
He should still be eager to learn. He is. For example, I'm sure he asks himself on a daily basis, "what did I do wrong this time?"
He should be able to sing along to all the songs on Boston's first album. Boston?
He should be financially secure. Before or after getting hitched?
He should understand the importance of jewelry in a woman's life. This seems related to that last item. If he is married financially insecure, I'm guessing he has a fair idea of how important jewelry is to women. If he is married and financially secure, then he clearly doesn't have a clue.
He should take out the garbage without being asked. Honestly, who dreamed up this social convention?
He should be sexy. Oh, he is, ladies. You just don't see it.
He should be a gentleman. Oh, he is. You just don't see it. Maybe you should think about getting your eyes check, or something.

At 53:
He should work out. Newsflash, girls. If he hasn't started by now, it probably isn't going to happen.
He should smell like something: aftershave or cologne. Are those the only options? I mean, everyone likely the aroma of a good steak. Would that work?
He should know politics. Why? So you can have more to fight about?
He should be faithful. I know, I know. Nobody likes a cheater.
He should like Bob Dylan. I'll concede this one.
He should dance. We'd dance more if you stopping laughing at us every time we did the Cabbage Patch. You watch. It'll make a come back one of these days.
He should not be addicted to his work. Speaking strictly for myself--Can do.
He should admit his mistakes. Here's the deal, ladies. When the day comes that we make a mistake, we'll happily admit it.