What Caught My Eye Today

Fred's Notes: My thoughts on government officials are pretty well documented, but still you have to feel some sympathy for some governments that have had a tough go of things recently.

Great Britain - Exhibit #1. The British parliament was officially dissolved today, as a nationwide election campaign launches to determine if Gordon Brown head of the Labour party can hang on as prime minister. Under the British parliamentary system, voters choose a member of parliament from each of 650 constituencies, or districts. The party with the most seats traditionally gets the first chance to form the new government. Queen Elizabeth II, as head of state, formally dissolved parliament on Monday. The announcement means there are officially no members of Parliament as of 5 p.m. London time. According to an official government announcement, "MPs immediately revert to being members of the general public and lose all the privileges associated with being a Member of Parliament." Ouch. That's got to sting. Government ministers remain in charge of their departments until after the election result is known but do not make any major policy decisions. Sounds sort of like our government, if you think about it. In an election year, no real policies are likely to make it out of Congress as lawmakers try to figure out how to keep their jobs for another term. I think the U.K. might be onto something here. With no set schedule for calling for new elections, Parliament has to go about it business all the time rather. And when elections are called for, they occur in a matter of weeks. Here in the U.S. it is almost as if election season never ends.

Thailand - Exhibit #2. Pressure is mounting on Thailand's Prime Minister Abhisit Vejjajiva, days after 21 people died in clashes between troops and anti-government protesters. The army chief says parliament should be dissolved, and election officials have recommended Abhisit's party be disbanded over illegal donations. Abhisit, widely perceived to have strong army backing, said his coalition and the military remained united. All evidence to contrary, wouldn't you say? The army plays a prominent role in Thai politics - former Prime Minister Thaksin Shinawatra was ousted by the military in 2006. Shortly after the announcement, the Election Commission recommended that Abhisit's Democrat Party should be dissolved. I'm not an expert on Thai politics--heck I barely understand American politics--but they bare some semblance to concepts that the average "Joe the Plubmer" can relate to. In the States with have red states (Republicans) and blues states (Democrats). Simple enough, right. Well in Thailand, its basically the same thing...with different colors. Red-shirts formally called the United Front for Democracy Against Dictatorship (UDD) consist mostly of poorer workers from rural areas, while yellow-shirts, known as the Peoples' Alliance for Democracy, consist of a loose coalition of mostly urban middle-class royalists and businessmen. And just like the Republicans and Democrats in the U.S. these two parties don't care for each other very much, despite the fact that both sides are equally guilty of questionable tactics both in government and the elections that fill those government positions.

Poland - Exhibit #3. This one is so incredible (I'm using the text book definition here), if it had been a movie script it would have been laughed off as too far-fetched Poland's military, political and church elite was decimated on Saturday in a plane crash, killing the Polish president and dozens of other officlals. Ninety-six people were killed in total. Among the dead were Poland's president Lech Kaczynski, his wife, the army chief of staff, the navy chief commander and heads of the air and land forces. Also on board were the national bank president, deputy foreign minister, army chaplain, head of the national security office, deputy parliament speaker, Olympic committee head, civil rights commissioner, at least two presidential aides and three members of Parliament. That's the equivalent of wiping out the braintrust of the White House, the Pentagon and Capitol Hill all at the same time. Pretty scary thought, isn't it?
The crash also shocked Russia. Prime Minister Vladimir Putin personally took charge of the investigation and publicly offered condolences, along with Russian President Dmitry Medvedev. Early indications pointed to pilot error in heavy fog as a factor in the crash. Both black boxes have been found. Preliminary data indicated that the plane clipped the treetops as it was making the approach to the airport in poor visibility.

And now for something completely different...

Golf - Honestly, who isn't happy for Phil Mickelson and his entire family in winning his third Masters title...besides Lee Westwood who was leading going into the final round and ended up second and Tiger Woods, who always sulks when he doesn't win. Atta boy, Phil. Enjoy this one. Lord knows you and the family have endured more than your fair share of tough times this past year.

As for my boy, Tiger. Dude, chill. You've been collecting dust for 5 months and you still managed a 4th place finish. Sure you missed some shots...a lot in fact. That's what happens when you're coming of a 5 month self-imposed exile (remind me again, why you did that?). How about taking some satisfaction in the fact that with all that rust, only 3 guys played better than you did.

What Caught My Eye Today

Qatar - U.S. air marshals wrestled a Qatari diplomat to the floor on a flight to Denver in a security scare that prompted fighter jets to be scrambled and top White House aides to brief President Barack Obama. The incident turned out to be a false alarm, triggered when the Qatari reportedly lit a cigarette in one of the plane's restrooms and then, when confronted, joked he was trying to ignite his shoes. Ha. Ha. Real funny, dumb ass. Next time chew on a stick of Nicorette, you moron. The scare prompted fighter jets to scramble and intercept the flight amid fears of a possible repeat of a passenger's foiled attempt to bring down a Northwest Airlines jet on Christmas Day as it approached to land at Detroit. A State Department official said, "His ability to function effectively has been compromised," adding that the diplomat will probably not be returning to the United States after the incident. The comment came after officials were calling for the diplomat to either be recalled or expelled for doing just about "everything wrong" on board the flight. Now that's a little harsh. You do have to credit the guy for getting on the right plane in the first place. Seriously, dude, don't let the door hit you on the way back to Qatar.

2012 Presidential Campaign - This is a joke right? Sadly, no. Little more than a year into President Barack Obama's first term, Republicans considering a challenge to the Democrat in his re-election bid were gauging their political strength at the first GOP candidate "cattle call" in New Orleans at the three-day Southern Republican Leadership Conference. No less than a dozen Republicans are mulling over candidacies. It's a wide-open field with big personalities but little issue diversity. The hopefuls are encouraged by an increasing chorus of Republicans who argue that Obama could be a one-term president. The theory is that Obama is overreaching in his efforts to dramatically change the country's policies on everything from health care to climate change. This guy has some nerve. How does he think he is and what makes him think he has some mandate to lead? And what's all this nonsense about trying to address multiple problems? Someone is definitely a little koo-koo for Coco Puffs. Republicans predict that voters may ultimately reject his sweeping government policies in a nation that tilts more conservative than it does liberal. On a more serious note, I think the Republicans have it half right. I think that is certainly the possibility that some Americans might get a bit nervous about the implication of all the policy changes that the current Administration is making, but let us not forget that a big reason Obama is in the White House is that a pretty big chunk of the electorate didn't like the status quo. In my humble opinion, the jitters the Republicans are predicting have less to due with conservative versus liberal values, and more to do with the fear of the unknown. No one ever said change was easy, but that doesn't mean that change should be avoided.

Nepal - Nepal and China have agreed to recognize the snow and rock heights of Mount Everest, ending a long-standing debate about the height of the world's tallest mountain. One cannot help but marvel at what modern-day diplomacy can achieve, though I was not aware that the height of Mount Everest was causing an international incident. The official Everest snow height of 29,028 feet was measured by the Survey of India in 1954. Chinese mountaineers and researchers climbed Mount Everest in May 2005 to determine its height afresh and concluded that the rock height of the peak was about 11 feet less than the estimates made in 1954, or the summit was 29,017 feet. Officials from China and Nepal who met this week said both heights were accurate. Sure they are. Just like 2+2 and 2+3 both equal 4. In 1999, an expedition by the National Geographic Society and Boston's Museum of Science used satellite-based technology to measure the height of the snow covered peak, and determined the mountain stood 29,035 feet high. Which I guess means that 3+3 also equals 4. You know, when I was in college, I was trying to figure out whether I should major in Accounting or Finance. My advisor explained the difference in courses of study like this--In Accounting, your focus is on making sure numbers in the "past" add up; in Finance, your focus is making sure numbers in the "future" look good. I chose Finance thinking it would be much easier to come up with a compelling argument as opposed to explaining an unfortunate truth. Perhaps I should have explored a career in diplomacy.

Asteroids - Feeling lucky today? You should. A newly discovered asteroid zipped by Earth today, but posed no threat of crashing into our planet even though it is passed within the orbit of the moon. The asteroid, called 2010 GA6, is a relatively small space rock about 71 feet wide. NASA astronomers said not to worry...the planet is safe. That's a relief. At the time of its closest pass, asteroid 2010 GA6 was about 223,000 miles from the Earth. In January, the small asteroid 2010 AL30 passed within 80,000 miles when it zipped by. NASA routinely tracks asteroids and comets that may fly near the Earth with a network of telescopes on the ground and in space. The agency's Near-Earth Object Observations program, more commonly known as Spaceguard, is responsible for finding potentially dangerous asteroids and studying their orbits to determine if they pose a risk of hitting the Earth. How much do you want to bet that all these tracking posts are loaded up with a bunch of booze and some comfy mattresses. Think about it. These guys will be among the first to know when the world is about to come to an end. Why wouldn't they be prepared to go out with a bang (you know drinking, sex, et cetera, et cetera).

What Caught My Eye Today

Anti-Government - The FBI is warning police across the country that an anti-government group's call to remove governors from office could provoke violence. The group called the Guardians of the free Republics wants to "restore America" by peacefully dismantling parts of the government. More than 30 governors had received letters saying if they don't leave office within three days they will be removed. The FBI associated the letter with "sovereign citizens," most of whom believe they are free from all duties of a U.S. citizen, like paying taxes or needing a government license to drive. Let me begin by saying I am all for freedom of speech and all other freedoms guaranteed by the Constitution. That being said, I'm confused by what it is that these "sovereign citizens" are trying to accomplish. Think about it. Where else but the United States would these nut jobs be granted freedom to pull idiotic stunts like this? Here's a thought...if you don't like the way we run things here, go someplace else.

New Moore Island - Perhaps a more fitting name might be "No More" Island. For nearly 30 years, India and Bangladesh have argued over control of a tiny rock island in the Bay of Bengal. Now rising sea levels have resolved the dispute for them: the island's gone. New Moore Island in the Sunderbans has been completely submerged. Until 2000, the sea levels rose about a tenth of an inch a year, but over the last decade they have been rising about two-tenth of an inch annually. That doesn't seem like all that much does it? Another nearby island, Lohachara, was submerged in 1996 and at least 10 other islands in the area are still at risk. India and Bangladesh both claimed the empty New Moore Island, which is about 2 miles long and 1.5 miles wide. Bangladesh referred to the island as South Talpatti. There were no permanent structures on New Moore, but India sent some paramilitary soldiers to its rocky shores in 1981 to hoist its national flag. You have to hand it to Mother Nature. Our so-called evolved species spends 30 years arguing over what basically amounts to a really big sand bar and accomplishes nothing. Meanwhile, that old bird--probably tired of listening to all the petty bickering--quietly goes about her business and removes the bone of contention...literally. You go, girl.

Netherlands - A Dutch political party formed by admitted pedophiles has disbanded, after failing to attract enough support to get on the national ballot. Imagine that. It was the second election in a row in which the Party for Brotherly Love, Freedom, and Diversity had failed to gather the necessary 600 signatures. Putting aside for the moment the irony of the name of this party, get this. These dudes are serious enough about their ambitions that they even put together a party platform. Want to venture a guess as to which social issues they target? The party's platform calls for lowering the age of sexual consent to 12 and legalizing child pornography. I'm all for democracy and freedom of speech, but you have to draw a moral line as some point. This is just plain wrong.

Georgia - Had this happened yesterday, it might have been funny (what with it being April 1 and all). Alas, it did not, so one can only assume that the rocket scientist who dreamt up this stunt didn't think this all the way through. Panic broke out in the nation of Georgia last week when a TV station reported that President Mikheil Saakashvili had been assassinated and that Russian tanks were rolling into the country. The television station said its broadcast, coming just 18 months after the real war between Russia and the former Soviet republic, was identified as "hypothetical" and was meant to persuade viewers that Russia is still a threat. Sort of reminds you of "War of the Worlds" doesn't it? Evidently most viewers missed the disclaimer. Now it sounds exactly like "War of the Worlds". People rushed into the streets, cell phone networks collapsed from overuse, and dozens were hospitalized for anxiety and heart attacks. One would hope that those in positions to impact the lives of some many, would have a sense of responsibility--and dare I say, a conscience--that would restrain them from "crying fire in the middle of a crowded theater". Clearly that is not the case here.

Humor - Pay attention now. If you don't you might miss the punchline. A group of 40-year old buddies discuss where to meet for dinner. They agree on a particular restaurant because the waitresses have low-cut blouses and nice breasts. Ten years later, they gather again to decide on a place to meet. They agree on that same restaurant because the food is good and the wine selection is fantastic. Ten years later, at 60, the group yet again chooses the same restaurant because it is quiet. Ten years later, at 70, they choose the same restaurant because it has wheelchair access. Ten years later, at 80, the group picks that restaurant because none of them have ever been there.

Happy Easter, everyone.