What Caught My Eye Today

Influenza - What's in a name? Turns out quite a bit. On Wednesday, U.S. officials started calling the virus 2009 H1N1 after two of its genetic markers. Then on Thursday, the World Health Organization said it would stop using the name swine flu because it was misleading and triggering the slaughter of pigs in some countries. Should you be wondering, our Egyptian brethren decides to off 300,000 pigs in an asinine attempt to curb the virus. Another reason the U.S. government wants to ditch the swine label is that many people are afraid to eat pork, hurting the $97 billion U.S. pork industry. Even the experts who point to the swine genetic origins of the virus agree that people can't get the disease from food or handling pork, even raw. Salmonella, yes; but the flu, evidently not. Mexico's Health Secretary said it's wrong to call it "North American flu" and flatly rejects the idea of calling it "Mexican flu." Go figure. Whatever happened to the adage, "there is no such thing as bad publicity"?

Saudi Arabia - Some of you may remember a couple of weeks back when I posted a story about this poor 8-year old girl that got married off to a guy old enough to be her grandfather. An 8-year-old Saudi girl has divorced her middle-aged husband after her father forced her to marry him last year in exchange for about $13,000. There are no laws in Saudi Arabia defining the minimum age for marriage. Though a woman's consent is legally required, some marriage officials don't seek it. Naturally. It's one thing to say that women have rights; but it is altogether different to actually expect those rights to be honored. Saudi Arabia has come under increasing criticism at home and abroad for permitting child marriages. The United States, a close ally of the conservative Muslim kingdom, has called child marriage a "clear and unacceptable" violation of human rights. Imagine the language we would have used if they weren't a "close ally." Lucky for them we turn a blind eye to transgressions perpetrated by those that have stuff that we want.

Iraq - The Iraq war formally ended for British forces as America's main battlefield ally handed control of the oil-rich Basra area to U.S. commanders and prepared to ship out most of its remaining 4,000 troops. At the height of combat operations in the months after the U.S.-led invasion, Britain had 46,000 troops in Iraq. Washington still has about 130,000 troops in Iraq and has shifted units south ahead of the British pullout. British commanders have been gradually handing over responsibility of the Basra region to the U.S. military since March and have been withdrawing troops from the country in phasesSo that's how it's done. All you have to do is find some patsy to take your place. Sounds simple enough. Now where can we find a patsy? There must be one around here someplace. Oh, dear God. There's no one left. We're the last patsy. DOH!!!

Netherlands - A Dutch driver careened through police barriers and plowed into a crowd of merrymakers cheering their popular queen in a premeditated assault on the royal family that killed five bystanders and injured 12. The speeding car, already dented apparently from catapulting bystanders into the air, passed within a yards of the open-topped bus carrying Queen Beatrix and her family down a parade route, then smashed into a stone monument. The motive for the attack was unclear. Dutch media, citing neighbors, said the assailant recently was fired from his job and was to be evicted from his home. The driver apparently acted alone and was not linked to any terrorist or ideological group. I'm sympathetic to anyone who loses their job in this economic downturn. I'm sure this guy didn't ask for any of this to happen to him. That being said, what gives this selfish jerk the right to vent his frustrations in such a manner that five innocent people--probably very much like this guy--had to lose their lives. And another thing. What is the obsession with lashing out at royalty. I doubt they are worried about where their next meals are coming from, but I'm pretty sure, their lives are any less complicated than us commoners. Throw this schmuck in the clink and throw away the key. Better yet, how about we ram a car into him and see how he likes it.

What Caught My Eye Today

Influenza - I don't want to diminish the importance of urgency in dealing with this swine flu outbreak, but there is such a thing as overreacting. Case in point... Egypt ordered a pig slaughter (300,000 pigs) even though there hasn't been a single case of swine flu there and no evidence that pigs have spread the disease. Britain, with only five cases, is trying to buy 32 million masks. And in the United States, President Barack Obama said more of the country's 132,000 schools may have to be shuttered. At airports from Japan to South Korea to Greece and Turkey, thermal cameras were trained on airline passengers to see if any were feverish. And Lebanon discouraged traditional Arab peck-on-the-cheek greetings, even though no one has come down with the virus there. Seriously, people. Get a grip. It's the flipping flu for crying out loud. Lest you had forgotten, thousands of people every year die from the flu. As for this being a strain that we don't have an antidote for, again this is nothing new. That flu shot you get every year--it's pretty much a crap shot as to whether or not the pharmaceutical companies guessed the right flu strain or not. Rather than flip out, here's a more practical response--wash your friggin' hands once in a while. You'd be amazed at how effective that can be.

100 Days - Guess who's been on the job for 100 days? In any other line of work, this would be not big deal (in most states, after 90 days, it much harder to get fired). However, being the leader of the free world isn't your run-of-the-mill job. Here are some highlights from President Obama's 100 days in office press conference.

• Obama said that waterboarding authorized by former President George W. Bush was torture and that the information it gained from terror suspects could have been obtained by other means
  I'm shocked. I would have thought that Obama would have moved heaven and earth to protect Bush's legacy.
• Obama expressed much greater optimism now than a month ago that Chrysler could remain a "going concern," possibly without filing for bankruptcy or with a "very quick" one.
  Dude, it's Chrysler. I think Obama would be doing the world a favor by putting Chrysler out of our misery. How many people do you know that would miss the Sebring? Sure they gave us the minivan, but is that really a legacy to be proud of?
• The president gave assurance that one way or another Pakistan's nuclear arsenal would not fall into the hands of Islamic extremists. He said he was confident "primarily, initially" because he believes Pakistan will handle the issue on its own.
  Well, I'm glad he's confident. Me? I'm petrified.
• The president also gave his strongest public admission yet that the overhaul of the current immigration system that he once promised to tackle in his first 100 days will not happen in 2009.
  Seeing as this is the 100th day of his presidency, and we haven't heard much on the immigration thing, this is sort of a no-brainer. Though in the dude's defense, he has been rather busy on other stuff.

Antarctica - Massive ice chunks are crumbling away from a shelf in the western Antarctic Peninsula, researchers said, warning that 1,300 square miles of ice — an area larger than Rhode Island — was in danger of breaking off in coming weeks. At the risk of stating the obvious, this is not a good thing. The falling away of Antarctic ice shelves does not, in itself, raise sea levels, since the ice was already floating in the sea. But such coastal tables of ice usually hold back glaciers, and when they disintegrate that land ice will often flow more quickly into the sea, contributing to sea-level rise. Average temperatures in the Antarctic Peninsula have risen by 3.8 degrees Fahrenheit over the past 50 years — higher than the average global rise, according to studies. In geological terms, that equates to spontaneous combustion. The Earth is a living organism so change is to be expected. Hence geological evidence of past ice ages. The problem is that humans have managed to compress events that usually take thousands of years into several decades. Mother Nature doesn't respond very well to rapid change. One way or the other she's going to sort things out, which does not bode very well for us.

What Caught My Eye Today

Congress - Big news. Depending on what side of the political spectrum you gravitate this big new will also be either good news or bad news. Republican Arlen Specter of Pennsylvania switched parties with a suddenness that seemed to stun the Senate, a moderate's defection that pushed Democrats to within a vote of the 60 needed to overcome filibusters and enact President Barack Obama's top legislative priorities. Of course, if you have no interest in politics, this is pretty much a snoozer, so no hard feelings if you want to skip to the next story. As for the rest of you...OH MY GOD! The cable networks are probably drowning in their own drool over this one. Usually, the Senate is about as exciting as watching paint dry. Not long after Specter met privately with Republican senators to explain his decision, the party's leader, Senator Mitch McConnell, said the switch posed a "threat to the country." The issue, he said, "really relates to ... whether or not in the United States of America our people want the majority party to have whatever it wants, without restraint, without a check or balance." That's just a tad bit melodramatic don't you think, Senator? I'm not sure this warrants scaring the piss out of the country. Besides, the dude was already voting with the Democrats most of the time anyway. Now you can focus on running the conservative candidates that you want next year in Pennsylvania.

Influenza - The global swine flu outbreak worsened as authorities said hundreds of students at a New York school have fallen ill and federal officials said they expected to see U.S. deaths from the virus. The irony is that in a normal year, flu season would almost be over. Cuba suspended flights to and from Mexico, becoming the first country to impose a travel ban to the epicenter of the epidemic. Confirmed cases were reported for the first time as far away as New Zealand and Israel, joining the United States, Canada, Britain and Spain. Swine flu is believed to have killed more than 150 people in Mexico, and the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention said the U.S. has 68 confirmed cases in five states, with 45 in New York, one in Ohio, one in Indiana, two in Kansas, six in Texas and 13 in California. Still, U.S. officials stressed there was no need for panic and noted that flu outbreaks are quite common every year. The CDC estimates about 36,000 people in the U.S. died of flu-related causes each year, on average, in the 1990s. On a related note, it took 99 days, but Barack Obama finally completed his Cabinet. Kathleen Sebelius finally won Senate confirmation to be Barack Obama’s Health and Human Services secretary. Any guess as to what she's going to be doing on her first day of work. I'll bet you a buck, she'll be skipping out on orientation.

Space Shuttle - Of course, Obama still has some slots to fill, including that of NASA Administrator. NASA is facing a critical deadline to make its biggest decision in a generation: whether to go forward with plans to retire the space shuttle fleet and replace it with a new mode of space travel. But the agency still has no chief to make the $230 billion call. A key deadline is April 30, when a congressional rule governing the shuttle's infrastructure expires. After that date, NASA will be free to start taking apart the shuttle program if it chooses. But some in Congress want the shuttle to fly longer because retiring the fleet would force the U.S. to rely on Russia for trips to space for nearly five years. Obama has said he wants at least one more shuttle flight beyond those already planned. Oh, I don't know. The Russians seem like friendly sorts. I'm sure they wouldn't mind flying us around space while we build our next generation spaceship. And that's not all. A Congressional Budget Office report concluded that NASA cannot carry out its current plans on its existing budget. The report outlined options that include delaying the flight of the new spacecraft, spending more money to meet the current schedule or drastically cutting back on science. Yeah, that's a shame. We've already got a fleet of shuttles built by the lowest bidder and we're still out of money? What corners are left to cut, and does anyone really want to take that risk?

What Caught My Eye Today

Influenza - Perhaps you heard. There's a new bug in town. The swine flu epidemic entered a dangerous new phase as the death toll climbed in Mexico and the number of suspected cases there and in the United States nearly doubled. The World Health Organization raised its alert level but stopped short of declaring a global emergency. Yes, no need to overreact to an incurable new strain of the flu. Bear in mind that thousands of people have been murdered by drug cartels, but no travel advisories were prompted by that. The United States advised Americans against most travel to Mexico and ordered stepped up border checks in neighboring states. The European Union health commissioner advised Europeans to avoid nonessential travel both to Mexico and parts of the United States. See I have no problem with this. I never liked the French much anyway. (Oh relax, I'm joking.)

Montana - You know the old adage, "If you build it, they will come." Here's a fascinating little spin on that. A Montana town says its new jail could accommodate the 240 Gitmo detainees just fine. The development authority in the tiny town of Hardin built the $27 million, 460-bed prison two years ago but it has yet to welcome its first inmate. $27 million, and these rocket scientists decide to build a 460 bed prison. You all could think of anything else to spend that money on? So the city council voted 5-0 Tuesday in favor of transferring terror suspects from the military prison in Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. President Obama has said he wants to close the controversial facility there within the year. The local development director says the town of 3400 people is willing to stand up and take the prisoners. "It's our patriotic duty." He said. That and I bet you guys are desperate to turn something positive out of this mess you created.

Russia - Russia officially ended its decade-long "counterterrorism operation" in Chechnya, saying the Muslim separatist region was ready for "normalization." Translation: the Russians finally gave up hope of winning a conflict that has been dragging on for so long, most officials cannot remember why they went to war in the first place. The war began in 1999 under President Boris Yeltsin and was run by Vladimir Putin, who was then prime minister, later president, and is now prime minister again. So what does "normalization" mean in this particular context? According to local journalists, the number of bombings, terrorist attacks and murders as in the past remains high. It is a fairy tale that Chechnya has become a stable region. I see. "Normalization" is the same "pretty much the same as when we got here."

China - China is planning to release a list of "approved names," and people whose names aren't on it will have to change theirs. Are you serious? Authorities said the restrictions are necessary because the government is switching from handwritten ID cards to computer readable cards with photos and microchips. The computers will only be programmed to read a certain number of characters. China has a limited number of surnames--for example, some 92 million people are named Wang. I don't want to wander too far off the reservation here, but why doesn't the government just add a few more characters. I hear computers can store quite a bit these days.

Humor - I got this one from the missus. The following is courtesy of humorist Dave Barry. A word of caution to the men--this may hit a bit close to home.Colonoscopies are no joke, but these comments during the exam were quite humorous...A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopies:

1. 'Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!
2. 'Find Amelia Earnhart yet?'
3. 'Can you hear me NOW?'
4. 'Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?'
5. 'You know, in Arkansas , we're now legally married.'
6. 'Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?'
7. 'You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out...'
8. 'Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!'
9. 'If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!
10. 'Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity.'
11. 'You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?'
12. 'God, now I know why I am not gay.'
13. 'Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there?'

I'm torn between #10 and #13. Both are priceless.

What Caught My Eye Today

Sri Lanka - You have to hand it to the folks at the United Nations. They take the concept of "understatement" to new levels. The more than 100,000 civilians pouring out of Sri Lanka's war zone have included people with untreated blast, mine and gunshot wounds — prompting the U.N. chief to order an expert team to assess the "rapidly deteriorating situation." Just out of curiosity, how much worse do thing need to get before the U.N. assesses that the situation is actually bad? The government says 104,862 civilians have escaped the conflict since Monday. Some 170,000 to 180,000 civilians now live in the government camps. An additional 15,000 to 20,000 civilians remain trapped in the coastal strip measuring just five square miles still controlled by the ethnic separatist Tamil Tigers. The government has ignored calls to stop the fighting so more civilians could leave, saying it is on the verge of crushing the insurgency. The rebels have been fighting to create an independent homeland for ethnic minority Tamils, who have faced decades of marginalization by governments controlled by ethnic Sinhalese. I'm not saying that I endorse the government's actions, but I can appreciate their reasoning. This civil war has been dragging on for 25 years. At long last, it would appear that the conflict may be reaching a conclusion. If I'm the Sri Lankan government, the last thing I want to do at this stage if given the rebels a means of escape. Of course, if I'm one of those 20,000 civilians getting shot at from both sides, my perspective is slightly different.

China - Chinese President Hu Jintao sought to reassure the international community over China's rising military strength before presiding over a naval display highlighting Beijing's ambitions of becoming a major sea power. China's annual double-digit percentage increases in military spending have rattled its Asian neighbors and Washington has warned Beijing's failure to clearly declare its intentions could prompt further unease. China's military, including the fast modernizing navy, "will always be a force for the preservation of world peace and advancement of common development," Hu said. Somehow I'm thinking that Hu's statement isn't going to do much to quell the anxieties of the rest of the world. I find stories like this particularly amusing. The press obviously plays up fear mongering in order to attract readership. Case in point, China may be increasing its defense spending by double-digits, but what does that mean really? The U.S. routinely increases its defense budget by more than 10%--last year the defense budget rose 11.7% over the previous year--and the rest of the world doesn't flip out. And another thing. How much does China spend on defense annually? Just over $57.2 billion. How much does the United States spend? Try $623 billion. Put another way, worldwide spending on defense in 2008 was about $1.1 trillion; meaning the United States accounted for more than 56% of all defense spending on the planet. I don't think we have anything to worry about from China--or anyone else for that matter.

Russia - Negotiators from the United States and Russia will take the first steps toward a new treaty to curb nuclear arms, part of an effort to improve relations. Wow. This is new. The Rome talks were called after presidents Barack Obama and Dmitry Medvedev agreed at their first meeting, in London earlier this month, to work out a replacement for the Strategic Arms Reduction Treaty (START-1) which expires in December. A new arms reduction deal is seen by both sides as a way to show the former Cold War foes can work together despite bitter rows on other issues like NATO expansion into regions once dominated by Moscow and tackling Iran's nuclear ambitions. Okay, so I'm a bit confused here. The United States and Russia are going to sit down together and work on a plan to reduce their capabilities of annihilating each other. How can this be? All these guys did was talk for a few minutes in London last month. Is it possible...no...impossible. For a moment there I was thinking that constructive dialogue may be behind this. Yes, I know, laughable, isn't it. We must have some dirt on the Russians. No way we would engage in dialog of any sort on equal footing.

Jay Leno - I'm not exactly a fan of the "Tonight Show" but I did find this next item rather interesting. Jay Leno checked into a Los Angeles hospital on Thursday with an undisclosed illness, forcing the comedian to cancel a taping of "The Tonight Show" for the first time in his 17-year tenure. Leno has not missed a scheduled appearance on "The Tonight Show" since he started hosting it in 1992, except for a show a few years ago in which he traded places with Katie Couric, said NBC spokeswoman Tracy St. Pierre. Conan O'Brien will take over the coveted "Tonight Show" slot on June 1, while Leno will move to his own week-night prime-time program this fall. Seventeen years without a single sick day. That's the equivalent of not missing a day of school from kindergarten through grade eight, four years of high school, and another four years of college. Of course, if I was getting paid $20 million a year, I probably wouldn't call in sick very often either.

What Caught My Eye Today

Torture - What do you get when you have the same political party in charge of both the legislative and the executive branch of the federal government? Those of you who say "a big flipping mess" may pat yourselves on the back. Brushing aside the president's suggestions, congressional Democrats pushed ahead firmly on toward investigations into the Bush administration's harsh interrogation of terror suspects including hundreds of instances of waterboarding and other abusive practices. President Barack Obama said a day earlier that if there was to be an investigation, the independent commission that looked into the September 11 attacks would be a better model than a congressional probe that might break down along party lines. But Democrats were moving in their own directions, and Republicans were united in their opposition to a commission that they see as an effort to vilify George W. Bush now that he is out of office. Only in Washington can taking the higher ground come back and bite you in the behind. I truly believe that Obama is trying to do right by both sides of the Congressional aisle, yet Democrats and Republicans alike, seem hellbent on thumbing their noses at the prez; choosing instead to play the same partisan politics that they always have. Very sad indeed.

Still things could be worse. For your consideration I give you Cuba.

Cuba - Raul Castro seems ready to discuss improving relations with Washington. Brother Fidel is clearly uncomfortable with the idea. Bickering brothers. How lovely.. Fidel clearly sought to diminish expectations of a thaw in Cuba-U.S. relations with his latest column, which asserted that President Barack Obama "misinterpreted" Raul's seemingly conciliatory statements last week. At issue was Raul's declaration that his government is ready to discuss "everything, everything, everything" with U.S. negotiators, including human rights and freedom of the press in Cuba and the 205 dissidents its government is accused of jailing. Obama responded warmly at the Summit of the Americas, saying perhaps the U.S. is ready for a new beginning with Cuba. But he also said that as a sign of good will, Cuban authorities should release political prisoners and reduce a 10 percent tax on the U.S. dollars that Cuban-Americans send to support relatives on the island. That angered Fidel, who called Obama's analysis of Cuban policy "superficial" and said the U.S. leader had no right to suggest even small concessions. Lighten up, you old bag. Last time I checked, Senor Fidel, you were supposed to be retired and your little hermano, Raul, was in charge. So let the guy be in charge. You had a good run, let it go.

Pakistan - Taliban militants have extended their grip in northwestern Pakistan, pushing out from a valley where the government has agreed to impose Islamic law and patrolling villages as close as 60 miles from the capital. Police and officials appear to have fled as armed militants also broadcast radio sermons and spread fear just 60 miles from Islamabad. That can't be good. Seriously, I thought the Taliban was on the downturn; what with the U.S. putting the screws to them in Iraq and Afghanistan. Now, I'm sort of thinking, they just relocated to safer turf. Pakistan's president signed off on the peace pact last week in hopes of calming Swat, where some two years of clashes between the Taliban and security forces have killed hundreds and displaced up to a third of the one-time tourist haven's 1.5 million residents. For you history buffs out there, doesn't this sound eerily similar to Neville Chamberlain's attempt to appease Germany by giving most of Czechoslovakia to Hitler? We all know how well that turned out. Critics, have warned that the valley could become an officially sanctioned base for allies of al-Qaida — and that it may be just the first domino in nuclear-armed Pakistan to fall to the Taliban. Oh that's right. Pakistan has the bomb too.

Afghanistan - On those rare occasions when there is good news to report in Afghanistan, I feel compelled recognize them. A cascading collection of deep-blue high-mountain lakes became Afghanistan's first provisional national park, as the violence-plagued nation took a big first step toward protecting one of its finest natural treasures. Officials signed a decree to create Band-e-Amir National Park, encompassing six mountain-fed lakes held back by natural calcified dams. The mountain lakes sit at some 9,500 feet (2,900 meters), and the park will comprise some 230 square miles. Good for them.

What Caught My Eye Today

Torture - Widening an explosive debate on torture, President Barack Obama opened the possibility of prosecution for Bush-era lawyers who authorized brutal interrogation of terror suspects and suggested Congress might order a full investigation. Less than a week after declaring it was time for the nation to move on rather than "laying blame for the past," Obama found himself describing what might be done next to investigate what he called the loss of "our moral bearings." I'll give you three guesses for why dude had to reverse course, but you'll only need one. Obama, who severely criticized the harsh techniques during the campaign, is feeling pressure from his party's liberal wing to come down hard on the subject. At the same time Republicans, including former Vice President Dick Cheney, are insisting the methods helped protect the nation and are assailing Obama for revealing Justice Department memos detailing them. Big surprise there. What else would you expect from the guy nicknamed "Darth Vader"? I have to admit, I'm stumped on this one. I wholeheartedly support the President's desire to come clean on the whole torture deal so that we can start repaired our tarnish reputation. However, I'm not sure how far I would go in prosecution the alleged perpetrators of said torture. One could argue, that operatives were following orders that they were told were legitimate? Other than possessing some questionable morals, what can we accuse them of doing wrong. In that line of work, disobeying orders can land you in a whole world of trouble.

Iran - Guess who almost said something stupid again? A day after Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad caused an uproar with a speech attacking Israel at a U.N. conference on racism, the U.N. said Ahmadinejad had actually dropped language from the speech that described the Holocaust as "ambiguous and dubious." Ahmadinejad may have decided to drop the Holocaust phrase that was in his original text to deliver his condemnation of Israel in a more palatable fashion for many countries. Yeah, I'm sure the whole world thinks much more of Ahmadinejad now that he's shown such remarkable restraint. Ahmadinejad's accusation that the West used the Holocaust as a "pretext" for aggression against Palestinians still provoked walkouts by delegates including every European Union country in attendance. Nope, I guess not. But others, including those from the Vatican, stayed because they said he stopped short of denying the Holocaust. Way to uphold that moral high ground, guys. The United States and eight other Western countries had already boycotted the event that started on the eve of Israel's Holocaust Remembrance Day, because of concerns Muslim countries would drown out all other issues with calls to denounce Israel and restrict free speech when it comes to criticizing Islam. At the risk of stating the obvious, this conference wasn't exactly what the United Nations was hoping for. Here's a tip, U.N. chaps. Perhaps you should vet your speakers a bit more carefully. Seriously, what compelled you to give Ahmadinejad a speaking slot at a conference for promoting race relations? Any one could see that this was going to end badly.

Vatican - Carolin Kennedy, President Obama's top choice to serve as ambassador to the Holy See, has been summarily rejected by the Vatican. Goodness me. Why would they do that? Kennedy was deemed unacceptable because of her support for abortion rights. Yeah, that would do it. Officially, the Vatican says that it has not formally rejected any candidate because no nominee has been officially put forward. Since the U.S. formally established relations with the Vatican in 1984, the ambassadorial post has always been held by pro-life Catholics, under both Republican and Democratic administrations. In Obama's defense, I'm pretty sure he isn't intentionally trying to offend the Vatican. The problem is that trying to find Americans in this day and age that pass muster with the Vatican is proving to be rather challenging. For some inexplicably reason, we keep evolving with the times, must to the chagrin of the Vatican.

Undergarments - Relax that moral compass. Ain't nothing risque about this next item...pity. Bra makers say there's been a boom in demand for bras with DD cups. The popularity of larger cups sizes is being fueled by a combination of obesity, breast implants, and recommendations from bra experts that women will look better if they wear more snug band sizes like 32 and 34 with wider cups. On the off chance that you were confused by the term "bra expert", you are probably familiar with its less formal synonym--"men".

Taxes - Admittedly, tax day has come and gone, but I did come across a couple of morsels of trivia to take the sting out of that tax bill (yeah right).

• Lobbyists spend $3 billion a year in Washington D.C. A study found that a single corporate tax break in 2004 enabled 800 companies to save $100 billion
  And we wonder why Washington is crawling with lobbyists. If I got that sort of return on my own investment, I'd get myself a lobbyist too.
• When the federal income tax was first established, in 1913, the tax code was 400 pages. Today the tax code is 70,320 pages.
  And I'm sure those lobbyists had nothing to do with that.

American Idol - You may have noticed the lack of attention that I've been giving to this year's competition. That's because the talent blows (with the possibly exception of Adam Lambert--this year's rocker dude). However, we still have the judges. Paula says her contract is up this season on "American Idol," and that no one can ever replace her. Show of hands please...Who would want to?

What Caught My Eye Today

Tax Day - Whipped up by conservative commentators and bloggers, tens of thousands of protesters staged "tea parties" around the country to tap into the collective angst stirred up by a bad economy, government spending and bailouts. The rallies were directed at President Barack Obama's new administration on a symbolic day: the deadline to file income taxes. Protesters even threw what appeared to be a box of tea bags toward the White House, causing a brief lockdown at the compound. Way to go out on a limb there, conservative guys. How much brain power did you use up figuring out that the vast majority of Americans were going to be extra irritated at the state of the economy on the day their taxes were due? That was a stroke of brilliance. Still, I'd be more impressed if you can get those same protesters to show up any of the other 364 days of the year. Organizers said the movement developed organically through online social networking sites such as Facebook and Twitter and through exposure on Fox News. All that stuff I just said about impressing me...forget it. I cannot respect any movement--"organic" or otherwise--that is rooted in Twitter or Fox News. Even Facebook is a bit of a stretch, but I belong to that, so I'm not in much of a position to criticize it.

Iraq - It's mostly the headline that drew my attention"Iraq study: Executions are leading cause of death" I'm the first to admit that this is not a laughing matter, but you have to admit the title leaves a little to be desire. It's like saying excessive drinking is a leading cause for getting drunk. Execution-style killings, not headline-grabbing bombings, have been the leading cause of death among civilians in the Iraq war. The study was based on the database maintained by Iraq Body Count, a private group that among other sources uses media reports including those of The Associated Press. The study covered the period from the March 20, 2003 invasion through March 19, 2008, in which 91,358 violent deaths were recorded by Iraq Body Count. Believe it or not, there is a silver lining to this story. Although such killings continue, the numbers of bodies found every day have dropped to the single digits since the U.S. troop surge and a cease-fire called by the main militia leader, Shiite cleric Muqtada al-Sadr, in August 2007. Further evidence, like it or not, that the U.S. troop surge did quell the violence in Iraq. That being said, there is another angle to this story that is probably more likely to explain the drop in execution-style killings. The drop in violence is also due in part to the fact that many formerly mixed neighborhoods in Baghdad have been effectively segregated after the minority sect was purged by the death squads. Baghdad has since become a maze of concrete walls and checkpoints aimed at ensuring security. Turns out you cannot kill each other if you can't reach the other guy.

Saudi Arabia - The United States called the case of an 8-year-old Saudi girl married to a man 50 years older a "clear and unacceptable violation of human rights," in a rare criticism of its oil-producing ally. A court upheld for the second time last week the marriage of the Saudi girl to a man who is about 50 years her senior on condition he does not have sex with her until she reaches puberty. Well that's a relief. That way, an 11-year-old girl can get jumped by her 61-year-old husband. That's much better. Saudi Arabia is a patriarchal society that applies an austere form of Sunni Islam that bans unrelated men and women from mixing and gives fathers the right to wed their sons and daughters to whoever they deem fit. I want to keep an open mind about customs and traditions that I am not accustomed to but I cannot, for the life of me, see any redeeming qualities about this particular tradition.

Sri Lanka - Sri Lanka's two-day humanitarian truce ended today and the military announced it was now free to begin a final assault to end the 25-year war against the rebel Tamil Tigers. It's like the military saw this as a 30-second timeout. The Sri Lankan military says only 1,000 Liberation Tigers of Tamil Eelam (LTTE) rebels remain, and accuse the fighters of holding around 100,000 civilians as human shields. In less than three years, the military has retaken 15,000 square km (5,790 sq mile) from the separatists and pushed them into 6.6 square mile box of coastal coconut groves, where commanders expect to end a war that began in 1983. I don't know about that, sparky. I hear you can live off coconuts for a long, long time. The United Nations has said the military has fired into civilian areas, while the Tigers are shooting people who try to flee, firing from populated areas and forcibly recruiting people as young as 15. Both deny the charges. Either way you look at it, the real victims here are the ones who want nothing to do with either side. Sadly, things don't look too promising for the civilians--or rather, captives--seeing as they are caught right in the middle of the crossfire of opposing sides that don't seem too bothered if they miss each other and accidentally take out a few innocent bystanders.

Space Station - This just ain't right. The guy played by the rules and won fair and square. NASA on named its new living quarters on the International Space Station "Tranquility," denying television comedian Stephen Colbert his attempt to get the new Node 3 named after himself instead of Colbert as he and his fans demanded after winning an online poll conducted by NASA. But the U.S. space agency did make one concession. It said it will make a new Combined Operational Load-Bearing External Resistance Treadmill (COLBERT) -- a fancy way of saying "exercise treadmill" -- a key fixture in the space station. Big deal. He could have had an entire module named after him if NASA had played fairly...and by its own freaking rules. The comedic situation stemmed from NASA's recent public outreach to drum up interest in the $100 billion International Space Station by holding an online contest to name the new Node 3, which will house life support equipment. Colbert, who parodies a conservative political commentator on his TV show, waged a campaign encouraging fans to vote for him and he eventually won, earning 230,539 write-in votes to 40,000 for NASA's top suggestion, "Serenity." What up with that? Second place "Serenity" wasn't good enough either? Why bother asking for public input, if you've already made up your mind? Not cool, dude. Totally not cool.

What Caught My Eye Today

The First Dog - The economy? Big deal. North Korea? Who cares? Pirates in Somali? Yawn. This story trumps them all The nation got its long-awaited first look at Bo in action as the Obamas showed off the family's new dog on the South Lawn. Told ya. First lady Michelle Obama did most of the walking while the 6-month-old Portuguese water dog scampered about. Then daughter Malia took a turn, and Bo took off running. Barack Obama had promised his daughters a puppy during the presidential campaign. I have to say I'm rather impressed at the lengths Obama has gone to keep his campaign promises. Of course, this particular constituency does have some pull with the President, what with being his daughters and all. The dog finally arrived today after the girls came home from school. The commander in chief laid down some guidelines. Each family member is going to have to help out, Obama said. "We all have to take turns walking the dog." Asked by a reporter where the dog would sleep, the president said Bo would have his own spot. A bed? "Not in my bed," Obama said. Big talk from the most powerful man in the free world. We'll see how long that lasts. I said the same thing about my dogs. That lasted all over about a month. Now they share the bed with the missus and me...if we're lucky.

Okay, on to the more mundane news of the day.

Economy - Aiming to assert control over the nation's economic debate, Barack Obama warned Americans eager for good news that "by no means are we out of the woods" and argued his broad domestic agenda is the path to recovery. Speaking strictly for myself the only light at the end of the tunnel that I see is that big freight train barreling down the track with a whole world of hurt behind it. Obama aimed to juggle his recent glass-half-full takes on the economy with a determination to not be stamped as naive in the face lingering problems. Good luck with that one, Mr. President. It was difficult to make that case based on a report the government released earlier in the day showing that retail sales plummeted by 1.1% in March, a performance much poorer than experts had anticipated. Yup. That's a definite buzzkill when you are trying to talk up the economy. Obama put his fledgling presidency on the line when he advocated sweeping new government intervention and spending to right the troubled economic conditions. Shortly after taking office he signed a $787 billion package intended to boost the economy and his administration also has unveiled a slew of other programs aimed to right the troubled home, banking and auto sectors. Say what you will, this dude has got some brass ones. Bear in mind Obama is just now coming up on his 100th day in office.

North Korea - North Korea said it was restarting its rogue nuclear program, booting U.N. inspectors and pulling out of disarmament talks in an angry reaction to U.N. Security Council condemnation of its April 5 rocket launch. All 15 members of the Security Council, including China and Russia, agreed yesterday to condemn the April 5 launch as a violation of U.N. resolutions and to tighten sanctions against the regime. In the realm of international politics the speed in which North Korea reacted to the U.N. (less than 24 hours) is unheard of. If I didn't know better, I would say that North Korea knew what was going to happen if it launched that rocket, and was used this incident as a reason to restart its nuclear program. But nah, there's no way North Korea would do something like that. Despite its defiance, analysts say North Korea, one of the poorest countries in the world, is unlikely to abandon the talks altogether. They suggested North Korea could be trying to draw the United States into direct negotiations, which it has long sought. Seems like an awfully big gamble North Korea is taking on. Still, if their goals is to go back to the bargaining table, I cannot say that their motives are completely off base, just their methods.

Somali - Somali pirates were back to business as usual today, defiantly seizing four more ships with 60 hostages after U.S. sharpshooters rescued an American freighter captain. "No one can deter us," one bandit boasted. Bear in mind that those sharpshooters took out 3 pirates with 3 bullets at long range and on rolling seas. If that isn't a deterrent, I'm not sure what is. The brigands grabbed more ships and hostages to show they would not be intimidated by President Barack Obama's pledge to confront the high-seas bandits. Good plan. Piss off the world's most powerful Navy even more. After a lull at the beginning of the year because of rough seas, the pirates since the end of February have attacked 78 ships, hijacked 19 of them and hold 16 vessels with more than 300 hostages from a dozen or so countries.
Pirates can extort $1 million and more for each ship and crew. Kenya estimates they raked in $150 million last year. You have to wonder where piracy ranks on Somali's list of industries. I'm betting it is definitely in the top ten. A flotilla of warships from nearly a dozen countries has patrolled the Gulf of Aden and nearby Indian Ocean waters for months. They have halted many attacks but say the area is so vast they can't stop all hijackings. The Gulf of Aden, which links the Suez Canal and the Red Sea to the Indian Ocean, is the shortest route from Asia to Europe and one of the world's busiest shipping lanes, crossed by more than 20,000 ships each year. The alternative route around the continent's southern Cape of Good Hope takes up to two weeks longer at huge expense. Expenses that will no doubt be passed along to consumers. Man, I'm so depressed. Time to go hug my dogs.

What Caught My Eye Today

Taxes - Lest you had forgotten tax day is Wednesday. Hopes for an economic boost fueled by this year's tax refunds could be dashed as most people say they plan to be frugal with their annual windfalls. I'm thinking "windfall" is a relative term. After all, a tax refund is effectively a tax-free loan that you probably didn't know you were giving the government. In previous years, tax refunds have helped increase retail sales in March, April and May by 12 to 20% over sales in February. 38% of those surveyed said they intend to spend at least part of their tax refunds, but the spending appears to be mostly on basic needs: 17% said they would use the money for everyday needs such as food and clothing. Funny how those little annoyances like food and shelter take all the fun out of splurging on stuff you want but don't need. 54% said they planned to pay off credit card, utility, housing and other bills. Well now that is depressing. Not only are we frugal, but now we're dangerously close to living within our financial means. When will the madness stop?

North Korea - The Security Council unanimously condemned North Korea's long-range rocket launch nearly two weeks ago as contravening a U.N. ban, and demanded enforcement of existing sanctions against Pyongyang. How on Earth did the Americans manage to get Russia and China on board with this? Some analysts say the passage of the council statement will be largely symbolic and is unlikely to result in a strict enforcement of sanctions against Pyongyang. They say much will depend on China's willingness to enforce the measures. Ah yes, there is that. The punishment isn't much of a punishment if it isn't enforced. And seeing as China is North Korea's largest trading partner by a wide margin, if China decides to look the other way, this vote won't mean much, practically speaking.

Golf - No Tiger Slam this year. Angel Cabrera became the first Argentine to win the Masters, beating 48 year old Kenny Perry out the second hole of sudden death. Incidentally, had Perry won, he would have been the old golfer ever to win the Masters or any Grand Slam. The main event was Woods vs. Mickelson, or so it seemed most of the day. Mickelson scored the early blows, delivering six birdies before the turn for a record-tying 30. Woods bounced off the ropes with a 30-footer for eagle at No. 8. And then... Mickelson hit the water on No. 12 and wound up with a double bogey. Woods was one stroke out of the lead after he planted his tee shot next to the flag at No. 16, producing his third birdie in four holes. His last two tee shots were both wide and outside. He slammed another shot off a tree. A bogey-bogey finish left him one stroke behind Mickelson and tied for sixth, his worst finish at Augusta since 2004. So pick your headline--"Cabrera stuns the world by winning the Masters" or "Woods stuns the world by not winning the Masters."

What Caught My Eye Today

Budget - The Treasury Department said that the budget deficit increased by $192.3 billion in March, and is near $1 trillion just halfway through the budget year. The deficit already totals $956.8 billion for the first six months of the budget year, also a record for that period. The Obama administration projects the deficit for the entire year will hit $1.75 trillion. A deficit at that level would nearly quadruple the previous annual record of $454.8 billion set last year. If you are going to go big, you might as well go really big. Of course, if you want want to go really, really big, then $1.75 trillion is just a stepping stone to truly astronomical figures. The Congressional Budget Office estimated that President Barack Obama's budget proposals would produce $9.3 trillion in deficits over the next decade. As you can imagine, the Obama Administration has a slightly different perspective on the future. The administration projects that after hitting $1.75 trillion this year, the gap between spending and tax revenues will dip to $1.17 trillion in 2010, and plunge to $533 billion in 2013. If accurate, that would fulfill Obama's pledge to cut the deficit he inherited in half by the end of his current term in office. Isn't that nice--there's a prognostication for everyone to enjoy. Bias aside, I really hope the Obama administration knows something the rest of us don't.

China - As if you needed another reason to laud the positive side of sex... China has 32 million more young men than young women because parents facing strict birth limits abort female fetuses to have a son. China has 119 male births for every 100 girls, compared with 107 to 100 for industrialized countries. The imbalance is expected to steadily worsen among people of childbearing age over the next two decades and could trigger a slew of social problems, including a possible spike in crime by young men unable to find female partners. You see, because there aren't enough females to satisfy demand, males are left to alternative means for venting testosterone fueled "frustration". If I've said it once, I've said it a hundred times; you don't mess around with Mother Nature. No good can come of it, as the Chinese are discovering yet again.

Africa - Once, just once it would be nice to read some good news about this poor continent. Alas, this is not that time. Much of the Horn of Africa, which is made up of six countries -- Somalia, Sudan, Ethiopia, Eritrea, Kenya and Djibouti --covering roughly half the area of the United States, is beset by a rare set of disadvantages that makes it ripe for chaos. Poverty, hunger, corruption and lawlessness has made the region a haven not only for pirates, but for arms smugglers and Islamic insurgents. The Horn of Africa is notorious for corrupt governments, porous borders, widespread poverty and discontented populations, creating a region ripe for Islamic fundamentalism. The United States worries that Somalia could be a terrorist breeding ground, particularly since Osama bin Laden declared his support for Islamic radicals there. Bin Laden himself has ties to the Horn, having once lived in Sudan. What a mess. I wonder what the U.S. is doing to keep things from getting out of hand. The U.S. has stationed 1,800 troops in Djibouti to keep terror networks in the Horn of Africa in check. That much, huh? I guess that's the trade off you have to make when you've got all your military assets investing in Iraq and Afghanistan. At some point, the United States may stabilize those two countries--maybe. Of course, the rest of the world will have collapsed, but at least we'll have Iraq and Afghanistan.

Sri Lanka - The nations leading Sri Lanka's peace process on Friday urged the Tamil Tigers to free 100,000 civilians they are holding and the military to stop shelling the no-fire zone where the separatists are making their last stand. The statement from the United States, Britain, Japan and Norway came as Sri Lanka's military said it had begun what it called "the largest hostage rescue operation in the world" by identifying the best routes for people to get out. Tens of thousands of civilians are trapped inside a 7 square mile army-declared no-fire zone on the northeastern coast, held there by the Tamil Tigers and being killed in shelling. I'm guessing that the designation of "no-fire zone" is most symbolic in this case. Human Rights Watch calls the "no-fire zone" one of the most dangerous places in the world. Not that I want to belabor the point, but why don't the calamities in Sri Lanka or Africa--or pretty much anywhere outside of Europe and the Middle East--ever make the evening news. If it wasn't for my interest in world news, as well as the fine folks at Reuters and the Associated Press, I'm not sure I would ever have known about this crisis. That being said, I don't particularly feel much better about the state of the world. Quite the contrary.

India - It's been a while since we've heard from our friends in India. Let's see what they've been up to. A 28-year-old Indian woman smeared its seeds on her eyes before gobbling up 51 fire-hot chilies in two minutes for an entry into the Guinness World Records. I love this country. It never fails to deliver the goods. The thumb-sized chili pepper was accepted by Guinness World Records in 2007 as the world's spiciest chili. It is eaten in India's northeast as a cure for stomach troubles and a way to fight the crippling summer heat. The chili has more than 1,000,000 Scoville units, the scientific measurement of a chili's spiciness. Classic Tabasco sauce ranges from 2,500 to 5,000 Scoville units, while jalapeno peppers measure anywhere from 2,500 to 8,000. I'm cool with the record, but, good Lord, what motivated this woman to smear this stuff on her eyes?

What Caught My Eye Today

Iran - The Obama administration said it will participate directly in group talks with Iran over its suspect nuclear program, another significant shift from President George W. Bush's policy toward a nation he labeled part of an axis of evil. The State Department said the United States would be at the table "from now on" when senior diplomats from the five permanent members of the U.N. Security Council and Germany meet with Iranian officials to discuss the nuclear issue.Now what possible good can come from talking? Where I come from, you only achieve peace by refusing to engage in any constructive dialogue with those that you don't see eye-to-eye with. "We believe that pursuing very careful engagement on a range of issues that affect our interests and the interests of the world with Iran makes sense," Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton said. "There is nothing more important than trying to convince Iran to cease its efforts to obtain a nuclear weapon." That cinches it. Clinton and the rest of the Obama administration has completely taken leave of its senses. It's like they're trying to get along with the rest of the world. We're the freaking United States of American! We don't need no stinking world peace.

North Korea - Tens of thousands of North Koreans rallied in Pyongyang to support Kim Jong Il as he embarks on his third term as leader and to celebrate a rocket launch that was criticized elsewhere as a violation of U.N. sanctions. The 67-year-old Kim rules the impoverished yet nuclear-armed North in his capacity as chief of the commission, which oversees the country's 1.2 million-member military — one of the world's largest. Analysts said the rocket launch was effectively a test of a ballistic missile designed to carry a warhead as far as the U.S. state of Alaska. North Korea insists it put a satellite into space, claims dismissed by the U.S. military and South Korea. In the only previous test flight of the Taepodong-2, in July 2006, the rocket blew apart 40 seconds after launch. I'm not saying that this latest development is a good thing, but you have to excuse my skepticism about anything coming out of North Korea. Bear in mind this is the same North Korea that reported Kim Jong Il shot multiple holes-in-one during his first try at golf and that the "Dear Leader" routinely shoots three or four holes-in-one per round. So yeah, I'm not sure that I'm going to lose much sleep over this.

Golf - Speaking of golf, while the "Dear Leader" regrettably won't be making an appearance at this year's Masters...again, there are some notables that should provide some entertainment. A four-times champion at Augusta National, Tiger Woods will be competing in his first major since his playoff victory at the U.S. Open in June before he was sidelined for eight months while recovering from reconstructive knee surgery. The world number one will be bidding to win his 15th major title. Anyone want to bet against him? Remember, Woods is playing with two fully functional knees this time around. That being said, there are some additional storylines worth following. Padraig Harrington will be bidding for a third consecutive major victory, Greg Norman returns to Augusta for the first time since 2002 and young guns such as American Anthony Kim and Rory McIlroy are set to make their debuts at the Masters. On the off chance that you forgot, Harrington has won every major since Tiger won the U.S. Open, and has a shot at duplicating the Tiger Slam. I don't see him doing it, but the fact that Harrington is halfway there is rather impressive nonetheless.

Global Warming - Tinkering with Earth's climate to chill runaway global warming — a radical idea once dismissed out of hand — is being discussed by the White House as a potential emergency option. This ought to be good. The concept of using technology to purposely cool the climate is called geoengineering. More on this in a moment. The concern is that the United States and other nations won't slow global warming fast enough and that several "tipping points" could be fast approaching. Once such milestones are reached, such as complete loss of summer sea ice in the Arctic, it increases chances of "really intolerable consequences." That sounds rather ominous, doesn't it? Earth could be as close as six years away from the loss of Arctic summer sea ice, and that has the potential of altering the climate in unforeseen ways. Other elements that could dramatically speed up climate change include the release of frozen methane from thawing permafrost in Siberia, and more and bigger wildfires worldwide. Two of the possible geoengineering options include.

• Shooting sulfur particles (like those produced by power plants and volcanoes, for example) into the upper atmosphere. would be basically mimicking the effect of volcanoes in screening out the incoming sunlight.
  Is it just me or does this seem an awful lot like a self-inflicted nuclear winter/
• Creating artificial "trees" — giant towers that suck carbon dioxide out of the air and store it.
  Anytime I see something in quotes, like "trees" I get a bit suspicious. Wouldn't it be a lot easier to keep the real trees we already have and let nature take care of the carbon dioxide the old fashioned way--naturally?

Colorado - A woman wanted to tell the world about her fondness for bean curd by picking certain letters for her SUV's license plate. Her suggestion for the plate: "ILVTOFU." But the Colorado Division of Motor Vehicles blocked her plan because they thought the combination of letters could be interpreted as profane. I don't get it. What could possibly be profane about that? Speaking strictly for myself, the thought of tofu does nothing to arouse my inner fire. A department of Revenue spokesman said, "We don't allow 'FU' because some people could read that as street language for sex." I still don't get it. What in the world could 'FU' possibly mean? At the risk of stating the obvious, I'm a big fan of sarcasm. And as an avid reader of the Internet Slang Dictionary (click here), I most certainly understand why some folks might derive a slightly different meaning to ILVTOFU than love of bean curd.

What Caught My Eye Today

Catholics - Statistics about my favorite religion. Does it get any better than this? A recent Gallup polss found that American Catholics are more liberal that the general population on homosexuality, divorce and premarital sex, despite the Catholic Church's official stance on those issues. Speaking, strictly for myself--guilty as charged on all counts. 54% of Catholics say that homosexual relations are morally acceptable, compared with 45% of non-Catholics; 71% of Catholics approve of divorce, compared with 66% of non-Catholics; 67% of Catholics say that permarital sex is morally acceptable, compared with 57% of non-Catholics. I don't want to suggest that the folks at the Vatican are thrilled about this trend, but I'm guessing as long as the Sunday collections keep coming in, they'll continue to look the other way.

Vermont - Speaking of liberals, those lunatics in Vermont are totally out of control. Vermont, which invented civil unions, on Tuesday became a pioneer again as the first state to legalize gay marriage through a legislature's vote, suggesting growing popular acceptance of the idea. Four states now have same-sex marriage laws and other states soon could follow suit. Bills to allow same-sex marriage are currently before lawmakers in New Hampshire, Maine, New York and New Jersey. To date, the same-sex marriage movement's main gains have been in New England, which some attribute to Yankee liberalism and the gradual acceptance of gay relationships after Vermont's groundbreaking civil unions law took effect in 2000. Memo to the dudes who oppose gay marriage: "The writing is on the wall, my friends." And I know I've brought this up before, but what is the big deal here? I know which team I play for and I don't plan to get traded anytime in the foreseeable future--heck, I doubt they would take me. And it's not like you can catch being gay like you can a cold. Is it really so bad to let everyone abide by the same rules? I think not.

Minnesota - By the time this thing is finally decided, the guy who finally wins will have to turn around and start working on his re-election campaign. The long-running dispute over teh Minnesota Senate race between Republican incumbent Norm Coleman and Democrat Al Franken moved closer to resolution. A panel of three state judges agreed to count about 400 new absentee ballots. I did some checking and it appears that Franken extended his lead from 225 votes to 312. Given this overwhelming endorsement from the electorate, Franken's lawyer wasted not time in gloating. "More people voted for Al Franken and he will be declared the winner. Coleman lost fair and square." Nevermind the fact that the courts decided not to count some 4,000 additional ballots. You guys barely won. How about showing just a little humility here?

New York - The owner of the building going up at the former site of the World Trade Center said that it would drop the name Freedom Tower and instead use One World Trade Center, the name of the now-vanished north tower. The decision by the Port Authority of New York and New Jersey sparked an immediate outcry. Do ya think? Critics say that in honor of the 3,000 dead, those addresses should never be used again. So why, in it's infinite wisdom, did the Port Authority choose to go back to the original name? Officials say that the Freedom Tower name cound invite terrorist attacks and scare of prospective tenants. Are you serious? I'm sure that name alone was the reason, the terrorists picked the World Trade Center to attack on September 11. Good grief.>

What Caught My Eye Today

Same Sex Marriage - I'll be honest; I didn't see this coming. Iowa's Supreme Court legalized gay marriage in a unanimous and emphatic decision that makes Iowa the third state to allow same-sex couples to wed. Iowa joins only Massachusetts and Connecticut in permitting same-sex marriage. For six months last year, California's high court allowed gay marriage before voters banned it in November. In its ruling, the Supreme Court upheld an August 2007 decision by a judge who found that a state law limiting marriage to a man and a woman violates the constitutional rights of equal protection. Turns out that this isn't the first time, Iowa has been at the forefront of social issues. It was among the first states to legalize interracial marriage and to allow married women to own property. It was also the first state to admit a woman to the bar to practice law and was a leader in school desegregation. Who knew? Still, I gotta wonder just how big the gay community in Iowa really is. I know--size doesn't matter (pardon the pun)--but I don't recall Iowa being a hotbed of homosexual activity. Then again, I didn't know Iowa had such a progressively minded Supreme Court either.

Milk - Remember the uproar in China over the discovery of melamine in milk? I'll do you one better--rocket fuel. The study by scientists at the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention found traces of a chemical used in rocket fuel in samples of powdered baby formula, and could exceed what's considered a safe dose for adults if mixed with water also contaminated with the ingredient. Before I go on, maybe someone can answer me this--how could any amount of rocket fuel be considered a safe dose? No tests have ever shown the chemical caused health problems, but scientists have said significant amounts of perchlorate can affect thyroid function. The thyroid helps set the body's metabolism. Thyroid problems can impact fetal and infant brain development. The largest amounts of the chemical were in formulas derived from cow's milk, the study said. I've sometimes wondered why terrorist groups have never attempted to attack our food supply. Maybe they figure we'll do a better job of contaminating ourselves then they could ever hope to do themselves. With the recent salmonella outbreaks, there may be something to that line of thinking.

Japan - For the first time, the government of Japan has certified a citizen as a survivor of both atomic bombs dropped on the country at the end of World War II. Depending on your perspective this is either the luckiest or unluckiest son of gun in the history of humankind. The 93-year old man had previously been recognized as a victim of the bombing of his hometown of Nagasaki on August 9, 1945, qualifying him for medical treatment and a monthly stipend. Japan now confirms that he had been in Hiroshima 3 days earlier on a business trip, when the first bomb hit. He spent one night in Hiroshima with serious burns on his upper body, then made his way home just in time for the second strike. See what I mean? What are the odds that anyone could survive an atomic bomb, let alone two? And what are the odds of someone surviving nuclear bomb in one location and find his way home just in time for a second one. Simply amazing.

Aging - A new study of brain function says by age 27, your brain begins a slow decline toward the fog of dementia. Cognitive tests on 2,000 healthy people between the ages of 18 and 60 found that the age for peak mental performance is 22. By age 27, there is was a marked decline in brain speed. Memory skills can keep pace for a longer time, remaining strong until around age 37. 37, huh? So I'm basically screwed on both fronts. Ain't that just grand? Fortunately, our vocabulary and general storehouse of knowledge grows until at least age 60. Nice. Our capacity for learning never stops, but our ability to remember what we learned craps out 20 years earlier. And another thing...give me a moment...it'll come to me...oh, never mind. It probably wasn't that important anyway.

What Caught My Eye Today

Artificial Intelligence - You have to hand it to the folks at Google. No one can claim that these dudes aren't looking to push the envelope. Check out this announcement from Google Labs.

For several years now a small research group has been working on some challenging problems in the areas of neural networking, natural language and autonomous problem-solving. Last fall this group achieved a significant breakthrough: a powerful new technique for solving reinforcement learning problems, resulting in the first functional global-scale neuro-evolutionary learning cluster.

Since then progress has been rapid, and tonight we're pleased to announce that just moments ago, the world's first Cognitive Autoheuristic Distributed-Intelligence Entity (CADIE) was switched on and began performing some initial functions. It's an exciting moment that we're determined to build upon by coming to understand more fully what CADIE's emergence might mean, for Google and for our users. So although CADIE technology will be rolled out with the caution befitting any advance of this magnitude, in the months to come users can expect to notice her influence on various google.com properties.

Check out CADIE's homepage (click here). Fascinating--if not kind of freaky--stuff.

Newspapers - If you've been watching the news lately you are aware of the financial industry and auto industry woes. But let's not forget about the poor newspaper industry. Here's how one UK newspaper publisher is attempting to survive.

Consolidating its position at the cutting edge of new media technology, the Guardian announced that it will become the first newspaper in the world to be published exclusively via Twitter, the sensationally popular social networking service that has transformed online communication.

The move, described as "epochal" by media commentators, will see all Guardian content tailored to fit the format of Twitter's brief text messages, known as "tweets", which are limited to 140 characters each. Boosted by the involvement of celebrity "twitterers", such as Madonna, Britney Spears and Stephen Fry, Twitter's profile has surged in recent months, attracting more than 5m users who send, read and reply to tweets via the web or their mobile phones.

Skeptics have expressed concerns that 140 characters may be insufficient to capture the full breadth of meaningful human activity, but social media experts say the spread of Twitter encourages brevity, and that it ought to be possible to convey the gist of any message in a tweet.

I'm a bit of a traditionalist myself, so I'm not sure about this whole Twitter deal. At the same time, I think this story speaks volumes about how short society's attention span has become. I don't know that you can fault the Guardian for trying to adapt to this changing culture. I personally think it's not such a good idea, but the masses have spoken.

Taiwan - I have no words to set the stage for this next story. Pandemonium broke out at the Taipei Zoo when it was discovered that the zoo's two panda bears were in fact Wenzhou brown forest bears that had been dyed to create the panda’s distinctive black-and-white appearance. Why? Why would any rational person do such a thing? Suspicions were first raised when it was observed that the bears were spending almost their full waking hours having sex. Pandas are notorious for their low libido. This behavior caused chaos among zoo crowds. The pandas had been received as a gift from the Chinese government. The Chinese foreign ministry issued a statement: "We understand that our compatriots in Taiwan are very upset. We wish to assure them that we have taken steps to address their concerns. We hope that our Taiwanese friends enjoy the gift of two extremely rare Wenzhou brown forest bears." So much for the best laid plans. The Chinese government would have been better off doing nothing at all. Relations between Taiwan and China are bad enough already. This latest flap certainly won't do anything to improve matters.

Switzerland - And finally, here's a rather disturbing take on eco-tourism. The Swiss Tourism Board announced it was seeking volunteers to join the Association of Mountain Cleaners. It claimed, "The Association of Mountain Cleaners... makes sure that our holiday guests can always enjoy perfect mountains. Using brooms, brushes, water and muscle power, they clean the rocks of any bird droppings." And get this. They posted an online aptitude test for prospective candidates -- click here.

April Fools Day - One can only hope that you figured this out by now. See you tomorrow.