What Caught My Eye Today

Ukraine - Not the biggest story of the day, but certainly the best headline. You have to love the BBC's sense of humor. "Ukraine warns EU of gas 'problem' " That's rather decent of them. Usually when I break wind, I point the finger at whoever is sitting next to me. Ukraine has warned that there could be serious problems with gas supplies for European Union countries if its dispute with Russia is not settled soon. Oh, they meant a different type of gas. You could see how one could have confused the two based on the headline. Romania, Hungary, Poland and Bulgaria said the pressure in their pipelines fell after Russian gas giant Gazprom cut off Ukraine's supply. Gazprom says it can no longer count on Ukraine as a transit route to EU countries and is seeking alternatives. And why is that, you might ask? Well if you believe Gazprom, it is because Ukraine is stealing from it. Ukraine's state gas company, Naftogaz, denied illegally siphoning Russian gas, saying it was diverting gas from its own reserves to try to maintain export supplies. Of course it did. Boy, I'm sure glad the U.S. is caught up in all this. We had the good sense to get our oil from much more reliable sources.

Gaza - Now this next item I would consider to be the biggest headline of the day. This time, the BBC doesn't leave much to the imagination. "Israeli troops enter Gaza Strip" Israel has sent ground forces into the Gaza Strip after a week of air strikes to try to halt rocket attacks by Palestinian militants. Israeli troops were reported to be engaged in heavy clashes with Hamas fighters in northern Gaza. As you might imagine, there were some predictable reactions from the international community. France has strongly criticized the Israeli land campaign. Of course they did. As I have said time and time again, the French hate everyone who isn't French. The British Foreign Secretary said the escalation of the conflict would cause alarm and dismay. No kidding? And you figured this all out on your own? The U.S. said it had told Israel's government that military action must be "mindful of the potential consequences to civilians." Yeah, we're ones for giving advice on limiting civilian casualties while engaging in military action. Why don't we ask the Afghan or Pakistani people how successfully we've been on that. U.N. Secretary General Ban Ki-moon has appealed for an immediate halt to Israel's ground operation. The security council is meeting in closed session to discuss the escalating crisis. I hate to be a cynic (really I do), but if the U.N. wasn't able to stop the invasion in the first place, what makes it think that it can get Israel to pick up its toys and go back home?

Mars - You know how most stories about NASA usually involve ridiculous amounts of money to conduct some science project that may or may not provide material benefit? This, shockingly, is not one of those stories. NASA's Mars rovers are celebrating their fifth birthday on the Red Planet, exceeding their original life span by four years and nine months, with no end in sight to their history-making work. You have to admit, that's rather impressive. The rover Spirit landed January 3, 2004, with Opportunity touching down 21 days later. They had returned 250,000 images, covered more than 21 kilometers (13 miles), climbed a mountain, descended into craters, struggled with sand traps and ageing hardware and survived dust storms. Thirteen miles in five years? You'd think these things would have covered a bit more ground than that. NASA plans to move Spirit to two new sites: a mound and a house-sized pit called Goddard, which officials believe to be a volcanic explosion crater as opposed to the more typical impact crater. Okay I see the interest in the crater, but a mound? What's so interesting about a mound? Opportunity, meanwhile, is to be moved to Endeavour Crater. So like, if NASA already has 250,000 pictures of craters already, what does it expect to learn by taking pictures of another crater? You know, I'm thinking that they're just dreaming up stuff to take pictures of simply because they still can. At any rate, Happy Birthday, Spirit and Opportunity. May you have many more.

Cycling - What with Lance Armstrong rejoining the ranks of competitive road racing, you just knew that I'd be all over cycling this year. So what up with our boy, Lance? Well, first off, dude is going to be a daddy again. Armstrong and his girlfriend are expecting a baby in June. Word on the street is that the baby was conceived naturally. Ordinarily, this wouldn't be particularly newsworthy, but bear in mind that Armstrong is a survivor of testicular cancer. You go, dawg! Next, Lance is set to ride in his first race of the season on January 20 at Australia's Tour Down Under. Australian rider Stuart O'Grady, apparently quite good at grasping the obvious, was quoted as saying while he did not think Armstrong would be a favorite, he would attract a lot of interest. And finally, how cool is this? My boy Lance will be trolling through my 'hood in February during the second stage of the Tour of California. So homeboy, are we going to party or what? But this time how about you kicking in a little coin for the keg? I covered you last time, bro'.