What Caught My Eye Today

Fred's Note: Given the recent doom and gloom that is the global economy, today's posting is going to feature three stories that will hopeful bring a smile to your day...I tried to find more, but dude, things are really, really bleak these days.

Conception - This one goes out with a special shout out to my number one Obama fan and esteemed colleague, J.E. In the hours and days since Barack Obama won the presidential election, many exhilarated supporters have been in the mood for love. Experts aren't ruling out the possibility of an Obama baby boom--the kind of blip in the national birthrate that often follows a seismic event, whether it is scary (a terrorist attack) or celebratory (the end of World War II). Well why not? I'm obviously prejudiced by the fact that I am a guy, but is there ever a bad time to have a little something-something with a consenting member of whatever persuasion tickles your fancy? Euphoria is a serious aphrodisiac and voters under 30 went with Obama by a 2 to 1 margin. Like young people need any more reason to be horny. Combine those two elements and the likely outcome is what the online Urban Dictionary has already dubbed as an "Obama Baby: a child conceived after Obama was proclaimed President, by way of celebratory sex." I don't what to toot my own horn, but I've been using citing references for Urban Dictionary in my "Say What?" feature for a couple of month now. Seriously, check it out--click here. To achieve an actual Obama boom (tell me they didn't just say that), Americans must make more than 390,000 babies this month; that's how many Americans were born in August 2007, the last year for which August birth figures are available. That's right people...if you what this to happen, go out and shag someone you love...or at least someone who voted the same way you did.

Christmas Shopping - Think of this next item as a public service announcement. http://Badgiftemporium.com -- Finally, a site where you can publicly mock your most horrific holiday gifts, from the ceramic cat figurines your creepy uncle gave you to the Mario Lopez workout video that you are afraid to watch. It's the background music that gets me going. I did a little digging and as far as I can tell, this whole deal is some rather creative--a just a tad bit creepy--stealth marketing for and advertising agency in Missouri. Beat's a boring radio or TV ad, don't you think?

Joke - This one is courtesy of my good friends at Maxim. A cop pulls over a man for running a stop sign. The driver gives the office a lot of grief and starts to argue that he did, indeed, stop. The cop says, "No, sir, you only slowed down." The guy replies, "Stop or slow down, what's the difference?" The cop then pull the guy out of the car, beats him savagely with his nightstick for about a minute, and calmly asks, "Now, would you like me to stop or just slow down?"

And there you have it folks. Hopefully a little something to smile about. Remember, things could always be worse. And tomorrow, they probably will be.