What Caught My Eye Today

Afghanistan - I have a two-fer for you today. Maybe the news will be good for a change. President Barack Obama heard the opinions of the Pentagon top brass on a commander's troop request for Afghanistan. Army General Stanley McChrystal said the war was deteriorating and he recommended as many as 40,000 more U.S. troops for Afghanistan along with a major effort to train Afghan security forces and improve relations with Afghan civilians. Obama and his national security team have been debating options for weeks, ranging from a massive troop increase to a strategy that relies less on troop numbers and more on unmanned drone aircraft to attack al Qaeda targets that are mostly located in Pakistan. The president has dismissed charges from some conservatives, such as former Vice President Dick Cheney, that he has been dithering over what to do about the 8-year-old war while a Taliban offensive has continued apace and U.S. casualties have increased. I'm leaning toward siding with Obama on this one, but not for the reason that you may think. One could argue that after 8 years and no sort of victory on the horizon, that a serious re-thinking of strategy is long overdue. Perhaps. No, I'm siding with Obama mostly because Dick Cheney has taken the opposing view. And if Cheney is of the opinion that Obama is doing something wrong, then, to me, that is a clear sign that Obama is on the right track to success.

Still that doesn't exactly qualify as good news does it? Let's look at the second Afghan headline de jour. Surely, that will contain good news.

Election talks between Afghan President Hamid Karzai and his rival Abdullah Abdullah have broken down and Abdullah said likely announce he will boycott the November 7 run-off vote. Or not. The run-off between Karzai and Abdullah was triggered by a U.N.-led investigation into the first round of voting in August that found widespread fraud in favor of Karzai and comes as U.S. President Barack Obama weighs whether to send thousands more troops to Afghanistan. And here's where we add insult to injury. Part of Obama's logic for not announcing a new U.S. strategy in Afghanistan is that he wants to get the Afghan government (whoever that might be) on board with the plan that he rolls out. Rightly so, any strategy that the U.S. tries to implement must include the support of the Afghan government and the people it represents. If this election mess isn't sorted out, then it won't really matter what strategy Obama goes with, because it will probably be doomed to fail.

Colombia - Colombia and the United States signed an agreement Friday that allows U.S. personnel to be stationed at seven military bases in the South American nation. The United States says it needs the bases to help in its fight against terrorists and narcotraffickers, especially since the closure a few months ago of a U.S. base in Ecuador. The United States maintains similar "forward operating locations" in El Salvador and Aruba-Curacao. I'll give you three guesses--but you'll only need one--as to who got his knickers in a bunch after the deal was announced. Colombia's agreement to host the Americans has come under harsh criticism in Latin America, particularly from President Hugo Chavez in neighboring Venezuela. Chavez has likened the agreement to an act of war and accuses the United States of wanting to stage military personnel nearby to destabilize his leftist government. Dude, I think you can destabilize your own government without any help from us. The United States linked Colombia's agreement to a trade pact the South American nation wants. Colombia also stands to gain from U.S. help in the nation's 45-year-old war against Marxist guerrillas known as the Revolutionary Armed Forces of Colombia, commonly called FARC. From where I sit, anything that pisses off Chavez is justification enough to proceed with it. I suppose that other stuff--you know, trade and national security--is all well and good, but you had me sold with the Chavez hissy fit.

Poland - A crew member aboard a U.S. Navy ship accidentally fired a machine gun into the Polish port city of Gdynia on Wednesday while cleaning the weapon. Don't you just hate it when you are doing your job, minding your own business, then BAM, you start an international incident. Three rounds were fired from an M240 machine gun, aboard the USS Ramage, a Navy destroyer, into the town but no injuries or damage were reported. That's good, but I still think this dude is going to find himself peeling a lot of potatoes after this episode.

We'll wrap up with this little gem, carrying on with that nautical theme...

Cruise Ships - There's a personal connection to this story.The world's largest cruise ship (5 times larger than the Titanic) is finally finished and began its trip toward its home port in Florida. The Oasis of the Seas has 2,700 cabins and can accommodate 6,300 passengers and 2,100 crew members. Company officials are banking that its novelty will help guarantee its success. The enormous ship features various "neighborhoods" — parks, squares and arenas with special themes. One of them will be a tropical environment, including palm trees and vines among the total 12,000 plants on board. They will be planted after the ship arrives in Fort Lauderdale. In the stern, a 750-seat outdoor theater — modeled on an ancient Greek amphitheater — doubles as a swimming pool by day and an ocean front theater by night. The pool has a diving tower with spring boards and two 33-foot high-dive platforms. An indoor theater seats 1,300 guests. So about that personal connection--here it is. I'm going to be this gargantuan tub next February. Sure, this ship is bordering on absurdly big (click here), but call me crazy; I'd rather be here with 6,300 other nut cases than trolling away at my day job.

What Caught My Eye Today

Recession - Apparently, the recession is over. Before you start mocking me let me remind you that I just report the news...I don't make this nonsense up. One last thing. I got this particular item from the BBC, so I'm pretty sure it is a legitimate story, as opposed to the stuff I usual get from The Onion. The US economy grew at an annual pace of 3.5% between July and September, its first expansion in more than a year. It is the first time the US economy has expanded since the second quarter of 2008, when it grew at an annual pace of 2.4%. Sounds promising, don't it? Of course there is always the contrarian view. Analysts cautious about the slow nature of the U.S. economic recovery point to the fact that the unemployment rate currently stands at 9.8%, and that the labor market traditionally lags behind any wider economic recovery. They also highlight the fact that the big car firms have already reported a sharp fall in September sales following the conclusion of the popular $3 billion cash for clunkers program at the end of August. What a bunch of kill joys. I for one applauded the news...right after I got home from picking up my unemployment check and being informed by my bank that my mortgage isn't worth the paper it is printed on.

H1N1 - Also known as "Swine Flu" Scientists at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention estimate that between 1.8 million and 5.7 million Americans were infected from mid-April through July 23. The figures are the CDC's most specific calculation to date. Yikes. That sounds like an awful lot. To come up with the numbers, the scientists assumed that most people infected with swine had only mild illnesses and did not get medical care or get tested. For every confirmed case, they estimated that probably 80 others occurred. And for every confirmed hospitalization, there were probably three others. 80? Okay, that sound like an awful lot too. I'm curious just how reliable that estimate really is. I mean, these dudes could be off by a factor of 80. That's more than just a rounding error, don't you think?

Turkmenistan - The United States has in recent months sought to improve relations with Turkmenistan, the secretive former Soviet possession that is home to rich oil and gas deposits and straddles a strategically vital central Asian location, sharing borders with both Iran and Afghanistan. I remember a simpler time when the United States wanted to improve relations with other countries because it was the right thing to do. Sigh. Now I imagine that the reason this made the news today is because the process has hit a bit of a snag. those efforts are being complicated by a government campaign against students seeking to study at the American University of Central Asia), located in Bishkek, Kyrgyzstan. Some students have been barred from travelling abroad to the school and others have been subject to surveillance and harassment when they come home. Observers say that the Turkmen regime has become wary of US educational outreach, seeing it as an effort to slip U.S.-style democracy through the back door as politically engaged students return home. Honestly, what have the Americans done to warrant that sort of skepticism? Turkmenistan's major hydrocarbon reserves and its agreement to assist with NATO's Afghan northern supply route have helped mute US criticism of the regime. See what I mean? They have natural resources that we want. The last thing we're going to do is risk access to them over a little thing like human rights. These dudes are way too paranoid.

Fred's Note: This last item goes out to my sister on the very happy occasion of her birthday. You go, girl.

October 29 - For those of you who keep track of such things... October 29 is the 302nd day of the year (303rd in leap years) in the Gregorian calendar. There are 63 days remaining until the end of the year. Here are a few notable events that have taken place on this date since sis graced us with her presence way back in...

• 1983 – Over 500,000 people demonstrate against cruise missiles in The Hague, The Netherlands.
• 1991 – The American Galileo spacecraft makes its closest approach to 951 Gaspra, becoming the first probe to visit an asteroid.
• 1994 – Francisco Martin Duran fires over two dozen shots at the White House (Duran is later convicted of trying to kill US President Bill Clinton).
• 1998 – Apartheid: In South Africa, the Truth and Reconciliation Commission presents its report, which condemns both sides for committing atrocities.
• 1998 – Space Shuttle Discovery blasts off on STS-95 with 77-year old John Glenn on board, making him the oldest person to go into space.
• 1998 – Hurricane Mitch, the second deadliest Atlantic hurricane in history, makes landfall in Honduras.
• 2004 – The Arabic news network Al Jazeera broadcasts an excerpt from a video of Osama bin Laden in which the terrorist leader first admits direct responsibility for the September 11, 2001 attacks and references the 2004 U.S. presidential election.

And here are a few unworthy losers fortunate enough to say they share a birthday with sis:

• 1017 – Henry III, Holy Roman Emperor (he's dead now)
• 1943 – Don Simpson, American film producer (him too)
• 1947 – Richard Dreyfuss, American actor (hey, we have a live one)
• 1957 – Dan Castellaneta, American voice actor, Best known as the voice of Homer Simpson
• 1961 – Randy Jackson, American musician (from American Idol fame)
• 1971 – Winona Ryder, American actress
• 1981 – Amanda Beard, American swimmer (the fact that she is smokin' hot has nothing to do with me listing her here...I swear)

What Caught My Eye Today

Cuba - The U.N. General Assembly on Wednesday overwhelmingly condemned the U.S. trade embargo on Cuba, an annual ritual that highlights global opposition to the policy. This year's vote was 187-3 in opposition to the embargo, up from 185-3 last year, with only Israel and the tiny Pacific island nation of Palau supporting the United States. It was the 18th year in a row that the General Assembly has taken up the symbolic measure, with Washington steadily losing what little support it once had. I'm reminded of the old saying, "if a tree falls down in the forest and there is no one there to see it, did the tree make a sound?" Not that the United States has cared much about what the United Nations says--and why should we? We have Israel and Palau on our side. I think we're set--, but honestly, this is starting to get embarrassing. I'm pretty sure the ship has sailed on any hopes we had for what these embargoes were supposed to accomplish. Cuba is a communist state. Perhaps we should contemplate acknowledging that reality and move on.

Russia - Russia's space agency is planning to build a new spaceship with a nuclear engine. The preliminary design could be ready by 2012 and then it is expected to take nine more years and 17 billion rubles ($600 million, 400 million euros) to build the ship. Compared to what we spend on our rockets, $600 million sounds like a bargain to me. The proposal sounded more like a plea for extra government funds than a detailed proposal. Russia is using 40-year old Soyuz booster rockets and capsules to send crews to the International Space Station. The Russian space agency also has mulled over prospective future missions to the moon and Mars, but hasn't yet set a specific time frame yet. You know, you could swap out the Russian Space Agency with NASA, and this story would pretty much read the same.

Which gives us a nice transition into this next story...

Rockets - NASA's newest rocket successfully completed a brief test flight Wednesday, the first step in a back-to-the-moon program that could yet be shelved by the White House. Nearly twice the height of the spaceship it's supposed to replace — the shuttle — the skinny experimental rocket carried no passengers or payload, only throwaway ballast and hundreds of sensors. The flight cost $445 million. Remember that is the cost of a two minute trial flight. The Russians claim they can build a production ready rocket for just $600 million. NASA said the flight was a tremendous success, based on early indications. You don't say? I'm thinking, short of the rocket blowing up on the launchpad, NASA officials were going to claim victory no matter what happened. They need all the positive PR they can muster to convince the White House not to kill the program altogether. NASA contends the Ares I will be ready to carry astronauts to the International Space Station in 2015, four to five years after the shuttles are retired. But a panel of experts said in a report to President Barack Obama last week that it will be more like 2017, and stressed that the entire effort is underfunded. The first Ares moon trip would be years beyond that under the current plan. Mind you that this plan has been ripped to shreds by the aforementioned expert panel assembled by the Obama Administration to plot a future course for NASA.

Tennis - Eight-times grand slam winner Andre Agassi left the tennis world in a state of shock when he admitted using the recreational drug crystal meth and lying to men's governing body the Association of Tennis Professionals (ATP) to escape a ban. In his autobiography, Agassi candidly describes being introduced to the drug in 1997 when his career was in freefall. Agassi, remembers receiving a phone call from a doctor working for the ATP who informed him that he had failed a drugs test. He said the ATP threw out the case against him after he concocted a story that he had accidentally drunk a soda spiked with crystal meth belonging to Slim. Agassi's admission that he took drugs casts a shadow over a player widely regarded as one of the greatest ever while it also exposes the ATP's lack of strict doping controls at the time. Don't take this as justification of Agassi's actions, but perhaps we should look at the bigger picture here. Agassi did not set out to be a role model; the dude wanted to win. It was the fans that gave him that mantle. Agassi entertained the fans not unlike Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa in their epic home run battle of 1998. And after he retired, Agassi used his fame to promote the Andre Agassi Charitable Foundation which helps disadvantage children in Las Vegas. My point is that Agassi made a poor choice during a rather dark period in his life (who among us hasn't?). Now that Agassi is coming clean about his past, does that undo all the things that he's done right?

Baseball - The World Series starts today with defending champions, the Philadelphia Phillies taking on the New York Yankees in a best of seven series. I pretty much hate baseball (yes, I know, how un-American of me), but I feel compelled to pick a winner, just to keep things interesting. I'm going with the Phillies in 6 games, mostly because I hate the Yankees, but also because they've already bought themselves--I mean won--26 championships (out of the 40 they've played in). The next closest team is the St. Louis Cardinals with 10 (out of 17). Go Philly.

What Caught My Eye Today - The "That's a Shame" Edition

Fred's Note: Every once and a while the stars line up and you get an assortment of stories that leave you shaking your head in disbelief and muttering to yourself, "That's a shame". This is one of those occasions.

Africa - This year's Ibrahim Prize for Achievement in African Leadership goes to...nobody. That sounds a bit harsh, doesn't it? The $5 million award is given annually to an African leader who has exhibited the strongest commitment to democracy and good governance and, crucially, has left office within the last three years. Many of Africa's rulers have been in power for decades and show no signs of retiring. I stand corrected. That first bit wasn't as harsh as I thought. This part, on the other hand... The committee that awards the prize said that "after in-depth review," it simply "could not select a winner." Ouch.

Saudi Arabia - Saudi Arabia legalized handgun ownership this week, in an effort to curb a thriving black market. This is the best they could come up with? The Interior Ministry announced that it would begin licensing gun shops to sell handguns and other personal firearms. Some Saudis are skeptical of the new right to bear arms. "We can't even adhere to traffic regulations," a business owner said. "How can we put guns in the hands of people who have no discipline?" Is it just me or does this scream "train wreck"? And who doesn't like a front row seat to one of those?

Hawaii - In an effort to cut $468 million from the state education budget, Hawaii's teachers have agreed to take Fridays off for the rest of the school year. The plan will give Hawaii's 171,000 public school students the nation's shortest school year, at 163 days. Although teachers say they will try to compress five days of schoolwork into four days each week (yeah, good luck with that), parents are objecting saying it's just not enough time to learn (Translation: "Damn, we're stuck with knucklehead.") Hawaii already trails most states in national education achievement. Really? I wonder why.

Potpourri -

• Hungary - The entire police force of Budaors, Hungary (all 15 of them) resigned after the group won $16 million in the lottery.
• Mexico - Mexico City put 1300 of its heaviest officers on a diet because 70% of the city's 70,000-member police force is overweight.
  Well you have to start somewhere I suppose. That's 1,300 down and only 47,700 to go.
• Italy - an Italian couple sued a cruise line for $4,500 claiming they had not been told they had booked a trip on Italy's first gay cruise. They said they were the only straight people among the 1,500 guests on board, and that the events frequently left them "uncomfortable" and "embarrassed."
  I'll just leave you to your own imaginations on this one.

What Caught My Eye Today

Climate Change - Have you heard that the world is now cooling instead of warming? Actually--no, I haven't. You may have seen some news reports on the Internet or heard about it from a provocative new book. Only one problem: It's not true. Poopy gook. Since when did the truth matter? The case that the Earth might be cooling partly stems from recent weather. Last year was cooler than previous years. It's been a while since the super-hot years of 1998 and 2005. Global warming skeptics base their claims on an unusually hot year in 1998. Since then, they say, temperatures have dropped — thus, a cooling trend. But it's not that simple. Statistics rarely are--but that's what makes them so fascinating...well, to me, at least. Since 1998, temperatures have dipped, soared, fallen again and are now rising once more. Statisticians who analyzed the data found a distinct decades-long upward trend in the numbers, but could not find a significant drop in the past 10 years. The ups and downs during the last decade repeat random variability in data as far back as 1880. Saying there's a downward trend since 1998 is not scientifically legitimate. Of the 10 hottest years recorded by National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA), eight have occurred since 2000, and after this year it will be nine because this year is on track to be the sixth-warmest on record. Let's see the number crunchers refute that little gems, shall we? Yeah, I think I'm going to short the prospects of a new ice age. My money is on global warming.

India - Fred's Note: It occurs to me that I've been giving India more than its fair share of attention of late. Rest assured, I have nothing against India. In fact, I would go as far as to say this should be considered a compliment. Ten years ago, stories like this never would have made the wires. An Air India crew on a flight over Pakistan got into a brawl leaving horrified passengers wondering who was steering the plane. I'm guessing the auto-pilot. The scuffle apparently started after the pilot and co-pilot scolded a female flight attendant for some infraction, and a male flight attendant came to her defense. Witnesses said the pilot and male attendant began pushing and cursing each other at the doorway of the cockpit before slipping into the passenger gangway, where it became a fistfight. Now that's what I call in-flight entertainment. But seriously, here's what I find troubling. Let's say that some passengers got into an altercation that resulting in punches being thrown. Those poor bastards would be taken into custody and face some serious jail time. I smell a double standard here, and I don't like it. I don't like it at all. I say if the dude flying the plane can find the time to brawl with a co-worker, passengers should be given the same latitude. It's not like they're flying the plane.

Air Travel - Of course, India can try to outdo us Americans in doing stupid things, but they have a long, long way to go before they approach our levels of absurdity. Two Northwest Airlines pilots have told federal investigators that they were going over schedules using their laptop computers in violation of company policy while their plane overflew their Minneapolis destination by 150 miles. The pilots said in interviews that they were not fatigued and didn't fall asleep. Instead, they told investigators that they both had their laptops out while the first officer, who had more experience with scheduling, instructed the captain on monthly flight crew scheduling. Ah, well if they had a logical explanation for overshoot their destination by 150 miles, then I guess that makes the oversight okay. And another thing--though admittedly a trivial one--how complicated is that scheduling software that it took an hour for a rather intelligent individual (so I assume) to figure it out? The pilots were out of communication with air traffic controllers and their airline for more than an hour and didn't realize their mistake until contacted by a flight attendant. Many aviation safety experts had said it was more plausible that the pilots had fallen asleep during the cruise phase of their flight. Well, I suppose if you can fall asleep driving a car, then it is conceivable that you could do the same flying a passenger jet. And yet, somehow that doesn't make me feel any better. Air traffic controllers in Denver and Minneapolis repeatedly tried without success to raise the pilots of the San Diego-to-Minneapolis flight by radio. Other pilots in the vicinity tried reaching the plane on other radio frequencies. Their airline tried contacting them using a radio text message that chimes. Maybe someone should have tried "tweeting" them.

Healthcare - Lest you thought that the airline industry held a monopoly on "ridiculous beyond all comprehension" stories, I give you healthcare. The U.S. healthcare system is just as wasteful as President Barack Obama says it is, and proposed reforms could be paid for by fixing some of the most obvious inefficiencies, preventing mistakes and fighting fraud. No way. That would mean that we're wasting over $800 billion a year. That can't be true. According to a Thomson Reuters report, the U.S. healthcare system wastes between $505 billion and $850 billion every year. Oh come on. These guys must be exaggerating. Unnecessary care such as the overuse of antibiotics and lab tests to protect against malpractice exposure makes up 37% of healthcare waste or $200 to $300 billion a year. Really? Fraud makes up 22% of healthcare waste, or up to $200 billion a year in fraudulent Medicare claims, kickbacks for referrals for unnecessary services and other scams. Get out. Administrative inefficiency and redundant paperwork account for 18% of healthcare waste. No way. Medical mistakes account for $50 billion to $100 billion in unnecessary spending each year, or 11% of the total. Jeepers. Preventable conditions such as uncontrolled diabetes cost $30 billion to $50 billion a year. Okay, okay. We get point.

Like I said before, India can try to steal the headlines, but they're still in the minor leagues as far as I'm concerned. Those dudes are going to have to dig deep if they want to challenge the good ol' Stars and Stripes in the colossal blunder department.

What Caught My Eye Today

Obesity - As the United States battles an obesity crisis, ambulance crews are trying to improve how they transport extremely heavy patients, who become significantly more difficult to move as they surpass 350 pounds. And caring for such patients is expensive, requiring costly equipment and extra workers, so some ambulance companies have started charging higher fees for especially overweight people. Transporting extremely heavy people costs about 2 1/2 times as much as normal-weight patients. This is more of a rhetorical question--"normal-weight" according to what metric? It takes more time to move them and requires three to four times more crew members, who often must use expensive specialty equipment. It's not like there isn't precedent for this sort of thing. Those penny pinchers at Southwest Airlines started charging our plus-sized brethren for two seats years ago.

Italy - More than 100,000 women have signed a petition saying they are offended by Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi — an initiative launched by a newspaper after the premier made a sexist remark to an opposition politician. One can only assume the rest of the female population either had not heard about the remark...or didn't care. This is Berlusconi we're talking about, after all. This wouldn't be the first time he said something stupid. Berlusconi made the jab during a call in to a late-night talk show that featured a former minister who dresses conservatively, wears glasses and has short, gray hair. "You are always more beautiful than intelligent," Berlusconi told her. Being a bit of a simpleton, myself, I'd take that as a compliment, but that's just me. Berlusconi has acknowledged he is "no saint" and loves beautiful women, but insists Italians want him that way. Atta boy, Silvio. Embrace your chauvinistic side. That will certainly endear you to the masses.

Space Flight - A special independent panel told the White House that NASA needs to make a major detour on its grand plans to return astronauts to the moon--that NASA has picked the wrong destination with the wrong rocket. Well, at least NASA covered all its bases--wrong plan, wrong planet, wrong rocket. I'd say that's everything. Instead, NASA should be concentrating on bigger rockets and new places to explore saying that it makes more sense to put astronauts on a nearby asteroid or one of the moons of Mars. I vote for Uranus...sorry, I couldn't help myself. The commission wants NASA to extend the life of the space shuttle program and the International Space Station. Space shuttles are due to retire in 2010, but should keep flying until sometime in 2011 because they won't get all their flights to the space station done by that date. Sounds like a good reason to me. And the space station itself — only now nearing completion — should operate until at least 2020, allowing for more scientific experiments, part of its reason for existence. NASA's timetable calls for plunging it into the ocean in 2015. Well, hell if the joint isn't going to be complete until 2010 or 2011, I'd kind of like to see it operational for awhile. Christ, it's take almost 3 times that long just to build the stupid thing.

Computers - Microsoft Corp launched Windows 7 in its most important release for more than a decade, aiming to win back customers after the disappointing Vista and strengthen its grip on the PC market. Oh goodie. The world's largest software company, which powers more than 90% of personal computers, has received good reviews for the new operating system, which it hopes will grab back the impetus in new technology from rivals Apple and Google. Forgive the techno-speak here. Duh! Of course the reviews are going to be better than Vista. When you set the benchmark for improvement that low, you are bound to impress somebody.

Sex - It was the headline that drew my attention, I swear. Why do women have sex? It's an intriguing question once you get beyond the obvious reasons: to perpetuate the species and because it feels good. I thought it was because they were tired of listening to us men begging for it and gave in just to shut us up. University of Texas researchers conducted an online survey of more than 1,000 women ages 18 to 87 and found, to their surprise, that women aren't all that different from men. Right. Call me a skeptic, but I think most men and women could come of with plenty of differences. But that is for another day. Let's see what this bogus survey reveals. The top reason women have sex is because they're attracted to their partner, followed by their seeking of physical gratification. Lower down on the list, the reasons were connected to love or emotional bonding. Many women said they had sex to bring them closer to God. No, I won't comment on this one--too easy. And revenge sex was a big theme--getting back at partners who weren't faithful by having sex with someone else. Yeah, no emotional baggage there. Many women wrote about having sex simply to get another notch on their belt while others engaged in "sympathy sex" because they felt sorry for their mate for any number of reasons. That's always been my ace in hole.

What Caught My Eye Today

Fred's Note: Yeah, yeah, I know. It's been a month since my last posting. I'd like to say that the job has been keeping me busy (which it has) or that the news hasn't been that inspiring (which it hasn't), but the truth of the matter is that I decided to take a break. Now then...what's been going on?

Babies - Ordinarily I'd publish this as a Question of the Week, but I have a backlog of those, plus this is an age old question that apparently can now be answered. Where do babies come from? According to the United Nations Development Proram and the Population Reference Bureau, more than 80% of all babies hail from Africa and Asia, thanks to shy-high fertility rates. Clearly, I'm stupid. I thought babies came from men and women having sex and one of those swimmers managing against all odds to fertilize an egg. Darn it, I knew I should have said Africa. The percentage of world population born in 2009 breaks down as follows:

• Asia - 57.4%
  Seriously, Asia has both China and India. Who can compete with that?
• Africa - 26%
  In some nations the fertility rate tops 7 children per mother. That is a lot of diaper changing.
• Americas - 11.5%
  The U.S. leads rich nations in fertility at 2.1, due mostly to immigrants and unwed mothers. Hey, I'm all for doing whatever it takes to keep Social Security solvent long enough for me to some.
• Europe - 4.6%
  Things are so bad in Europe, governments are offering cash incentive for couples to get knocked up.
• Oceania - 0.5%

Wars - More trivia for you.How long was the Hundred Years' War? One hundred and seventeen to be precise. Bonus points if any can name the combatants (I'll give you the answer in a moment). The war in Iraq has now outlasted World War II, and in March 2010, Afghanistan will pass Vietnam as the longest American ware ever High praise, indeed. Here's how Iraq and Afghanistan stack up against some other notable armed conflicts. You may just want to skip to the next item--this is rather depressing:

• Six-Day War - 6 days (June 5 to June 10, 1967)
  What a clever name!
• Gulf War - 1 month, 13 days (January 19 to February 28, 1991)
• U.S. Civil War - 3 years, 11 months, 29 days (April 12, 1861 to April 9, 1865)
• World War I - 4 years, 3 months, 15 days (July 28, 1914 to November 11, 1918
  And we all know how well that turned out.
• World War II - 6 years, 2 days (September 1, 1939 to September 2, 1945)
• Iraq War - 6 years, 7 months, 2 days (March 20, 2003 to present)
  and counting...
• War in Afghanistan - 8 years, 15 days (Oct 7, 2001 to present)
  still counting...
• American Revolution - 8 years, 4 months, 16 days (April 19, 1775 to September 3, 1783
• Vietnam War - 8 years, 5 months, 21 days (August 7, 1964 to January 27, 1973)
  Personally, I would mind seeing Vietnam retain that title, but I don't see that happening

(So, who has the answer? Shockingly, the French are involved on both sides of the Hundred Years War. The two primary contenders were the House of Valois and the House of Plantagenet fighting over the vacant French throne way back in 1337.)

India - I love these guys--they are so material rich. Indoor plumbing is becoming more common in rural India thanks to the 2-year-old "No toilet, no bride" campaign. Honestly, who could make this stuff up? The government-run campaign, part of an initiative to improve sanitation and combat diseases, urges women to refuse to marry any man who can't offer them a home with a bathroom. Way to set the bar way up there, guys. More than 1 million toilets have been built in the rural north since the campaign was launched. Because of India's frowned upon but still practiced policy of selective abortion of female fetuses, brides are in short supply. So women can afford to be picky. Maybe, just maybe, if they didn't kill the girl babies, women wouldn't be in such short supply. But back to the topic at hand. I wonder you work the phase, "I have a toilet" into a pick-up line (or better yet, a proposal) and still make it sound romantic. I just don't see it.

Driver's Ed - Ozzy Osbourne fially passed his driving test after failing it 18 times. Lucky us. Osbourne credits his reversal of fortune to having successfully given up drinking. He says that on previous attempts to pass the test he would be "walking around the test center with a bottle of vodka in my pocket," and that testing officials always seemed afraid to get in a car with him. Again, lucky us.