What Caught My Eye Today

Halloween - As scary as things are in the world today, do we really need a holiday to celebrate that fact? Aw. I'm just kidding. Happy Halloween, everyone. And know on with the headlines...

2008 Presidential Race - Despite John McCain's prediction of an upset, Barack Obama reached for a landslide, invading Arizona (McCain's home state) with TV ads and building a lead in early voting in key battlegrounds. Well what do you know; both candidates are predicting victory. I never would have guessed. Yet with the economy almost certainly in a recession and the country clamoring for change after eight years of Republican rule, even some of McCain's allies conceded the obvious. Okay, I have to draw the line here. For almost two flippin' years we've been subjected to relentless campaigning. And now, with still 4 more days until the actual election, we've got a bunch of jerks saying that its already over. I think me and the rest of the poor voters who are actually waiting until Election Day to vote have earned it.

Economy - Evidence of a recession piled ever higher with new figures showing Americans are spending less and gloomy about the economy. The Commerce Department reported consumer spending dropped a sharp 0.3% in September while their incomes, the fuel for future spending, managed only a small 0.2% gain. That followed a report a day earlier that the U.S. economy shrank by 0.3% in the third quarter. The accepted definition of a recession is two straight quarters of a shrinking economy. I suppose reports like this certainly back up the premise that the nation is probably in a recession (seriously, is there anyone out there who is delusional enough think we're not). Of course, I have a slightly different approach that I use to come to conclusions like this. Unlike the government, I don't have the luxury (or the desire, really) if sticking my head in the sand and hoping for the best. My approach is a little something that I like to call...LIVING IN THE REAL WORLD!!!

Afghanistan - Defense Secretary Robert Gates welcomed David Petraeus as the new chief of Central Command with responsibility for America's two wars, saying he hopes the general will help bring needed coherence to the U.S. and allied strategy in an increasingly volatile Afghanistan. Petraeus spent 20 months as the top U.S. commander in Baghdad. Now he will oversee U.S. military operations across the Middle East — from Egypt to the Persian Gulf — as well as Afghanistan and Pakistan. Gates called for the fastest-possible further expansion of Afghanistan's military and police forces, saying that is the long-term solution to its problems on the security, economic and political fronts. The United States has about 32,000 troops in Afghanistan, compared with more than 150,000 in Iraq. NATO allies have about 30,000 in Afghanistan. I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that if we had those 150,000 troops in Afghanistan instead of Iraq, this strategy thing never would have come up in the first place. You know what we should have done..."shock and awed" both Iraq and Afghanistan at the same time. What's another $600 billion dollars anyway? Pocket change. Heck that won't even buy you an economic bailout anymore.

Latin America - Okay, one more story on the presidential race...kind of hard to avoid them these days. Two in three Latin Americans either don't care who wins Tuesday's U.S. presidential election or don't think the outcome will matter, according to a survey in 18 countries. Funny how the rest of the world can grasp the obvious, while us Americans (okay the press) seem overwhelmed by all the pomp and circumstance of the upcoming election. The poll found that 29% of Latin Americans think a victory by Democrat Barack Obama would be better for the region while 8% prefer Republican John McCain. So where does that leave the other 63%? I'll give you 3 guesses, but you'll probably only need one. The rest essentially don't know or don't care: 29% did not believe either candidate was a superior choice for Latin America, while 31% said they did not know. The poll also found that one in three Latin Americans think Washington will not pay more attention to the region, regardless of who wins. In fairness to Washington, they barely pay attention to the people that voted them into office in the first place, let alone a bunch of folks south of the border...or north...or east...or west.

What Caught My Eye Today

Baseball - I'm guessing this had to be the longest Game 5 in World Series history. To make a long story short. It's over. Congratulations to the Philadelphia Phillies. For you sports fans out there, here are the particulars. From losingest team to longest game, the Philadelphia Phillies are World Series champions. The Phillies finished off the Tampa Bay Rays 4-3 in a three-inning sprint to win a suspended Game 5 nearly 50 hours after it started. The city claim its first major sports championship in 25 years. Fear not baseball fans. Spring training is just 4 short months from now. And here's a bonus. The World Baseball Classic begins March 5...you know, sort of a World Cup of baseball, but not.

2008 Presidential Race - Maybe it's just me, but is anyone else looking forward to these thing finally being over in 6 more days...assuming there aren't any recounts or hanging chads to deal with? Barack Obama plunked down $4 million for a campaign-closing television ad and summoned voters to "choose hope over fear and unity over division" in Tuesday's election. John McCain derided the event as a "gauzy, feel-good commercial," paid for with broken promises. No sour grapes there. Call me crazy, but if McCain had the dough to pay for a 30 minute infomercial on four different networks, I'm pretty sure he would have. And while it is unusual for candidates to acknowledge the possibility of defeat, Republican running mate Sarah Palin said she intended to remain a national figure even if the ticket loses next week. Okay, I give up. Can someone explain to me what McCain saw in her as a running mate in the first place? Seriously, did the producers at Saturday Night Live give him a huge campaign contribution to pick her or what?

Iraq - The Associated Press periodically release its unofficial count of military casualties in the Iraq War. Lest anyone has forgotten, Iraq is still a rather dangerous place. As of Wednesday, Oct. 29, 2008, at least 4,189 members of the U.S. military have died in the Iraq war since it began in March 2003. At least 3,388 military personnel died as a result of hostile action, according to the military's numbers. Umm, so how did the other 801 die? The British military has reported 176 deaths; Italy, 33; Ukraine, 18; Poland, 21; Bulgaria, 13; Spain, 11; Denmark, seven; El Salvador, five; Slovakia, four; Latvia and Georgia, three each; Estonia, Netherlands, Thailand and Romania, two each; and Australia, Hungary, Kazakhstan and South Korea, one death each.

Ecuador - Ecuador has picked a new temporary Supreme Court by lottery, but judges say they will boycott the tribunal. The old court was dissolved under a new constitution that took effect last week. The temporary 21-member court chosen at random from the ranks of the 31 former justices is supposed to operate until a permanent body takes over in 2009. Judges warned last week that they would refuse to take seats determined by the "degrading" lottery. I gotta side with the justices on this one. A lottery does sort of cheapen things. I mean honestly, this is the Supreme Court we're talking about here. It is not clear what officials will do if all the judges refuse their seats. I know, I know...they could draw straws.

Cuba - The U.N. General Assembly overwhelmingly approved a resolution urging the U.S. to repeal its trade embargo against Cuba, and the island nation's foreign minister said he expects the next American president to respond positively. Well it certainly won't happen under the current President, that's for sure. It was the 17th straight year that the General Assembly called for the embargo to be repealed "as soon as possible." Yup, no one can accuse the U.S. of turning a deaf ear to the international community. The vote in the 192-member world body was 185 to 3, with 2 abstentions. The U.S., Israel and Palau voted "no" while Micronesia and the Marshall Islands abstained. I've always thought highly of our Palaun friends in the South Pacific...all 21,000 of them.

What Caught My Eye Today

2008 Presidential Race - Joe the Plumber endorsed Republican John McCain for president. Samuel J. Wurzelbacher gained national attention when Obama told him during a campaign stop that he wanted to "spread the wealth around." Their exchange about Obama's tax plan aired countless times on cable news programs, and McCain repeatedly cited Joe the Plumber in their third and final debate and again at campaign events. Fame brought media scrutiny to Wurzelbacher, who turned out to be an unlicensed plumber with unpaid back taxes. If memory serves me Obama recently got the endorsement of Colin Powell. So yeah, I guess Joe's endorsement of McCain is just as newsworthy. At the very least, it should tighten up the last few days of the campaign, right?

Obama and McCain fought for votes on critical ground in Pennsylvania, the only Democratic state McCain is still contesting on a national political map growing increasingly daunting. Or perhaps not. A poll by the Pew Research Center found Obama with a 16-point lead among registered voters. The survey said Obama had 52% and McCain 36%, with independent voters supporting the Democrat by a 48-31 margin. If McCain doesn't win the state's 21 electoral votes, it's hard to see how he can win the presidency since Obama is expected to pick up several of the states that helped re-elect President Bush four years ago. McCain needs one of the blue states to make up for expected losses in the red ones. I hate to quote Sarah Palin, but in this case, I'll make an exception. Say it ain't so, Joe. I thought your endorsement of McCain would surely put him over the top.

Economy - Try to keep up, it was a busy day. An impatient White House prodded banks and other financial companies to quit hoarding billions of dollars flowing into their vaults from Washington and start making more loans. Wall Street soared nearly 900 points on bargain-hunting and hopes of a hefty interest rate cut by the Federal Reserve. Consumer pessimism reached record levels in October amid rising unemployment, plunging home prices and shrinking retirement and investment accounts. So did you get all that? If not here it is in a nutshell. The White House wants banks to start lending...I won't hold my breath. Meanwhile, the Dow gained almost 900 points...big deal, it'll probably drop a thousand by the end of the week. And finally, consumer confidence is in the toilet...well, duh. We're in a global financial meltdown.

Software - The next version of Microsoft Windows, Windows 7, the software that defines the computing experience for most people, will nag users much less than its much-maligned predecessor, Vista. Well now, that would be nice wouldn't it? then again, I did enjoy those pitiful attempts at wooing users back with those snazzy TV ads that featured Jerry Seinfeld and Bill Gates. The world's largest software maker also is making Word, Excel and other key elements of Office — its flagship "productivity" programs — able to run in a Web browser. The move is meant to help confront rivals such as Google that offer free word processing and spreadsheet programs online. Good luck with that. According to Microsoft, the upgraded torture device...ahem, I mean Windows 7, will be available to unwitting victims...ahem, I mean customers, sometime in early 2009.

Baseball - Game 5 of the Fall Classic was suspended in the bottom of the sixth inning last night due to rain after the Tampa Bay Rays, managed to score a tying run against the Philadelphia Phillies. Makes sense until you consider that it started raining 3 innings earlier. Some have speculated that Major League Baseball officials weren't terribly interested in an early end to the series, which is what probably would have happened under normal circumstances. You see, the Phillies were up 3 games to 1, and 2 to 1 after 5 innings (which is enough to make a game official) under rather persistent rain...not mist or sprinkles, but full on rain. Despite this, baseball officials allowed the game to continue, and Tampa scored the tying run in the top of the 6th inning, at which time the game was then stopped...in a 2-2 tie. The game was supposed to conclude tonight, but it go rained out again. This is what happens when you try to play baseball in Philadelphia at the end of October. It's call the onset of winter. Now if the Rays manage to pull of this win, the last 2 games would be played in Tampa. That's got to tick off Phillies fans.

What Caught My Eye Today

2008 Presidential Race - Two white supremacists allegedly plotted to go on a national killing spree, shooting and decapitating black people and ultimately targeting Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama. In all, the two men whom officials described as neo-Nazi skinheads planned to kill 88 people — 14 by beheading, according to documents unsealed in U.S. District Court in Jackson, Tenn. The numbers 88 and 14 are symbolic in the white supremacist community. The numbers 14 and 88 are symbols in skinhead culture, referring to a 14-word phrase attributed to an imprisoned white supremacist: "We must secure the existence of our people and a future for white children" and to the eighth letter of the alphabet, H. Two "8"s or "H"s stand for "Heil Hitler." Talk about numerology getting out of hand. Good grief. The spree, which initially targeted an unidentified predominantly African-American school, was to end with the two men driving toward Obama, "shooting at him from the windows." Whack job comments aside--and believe me, several come to mind--it never ceases to amaze me the deep levels of hatred that seem to exist just beneath the fabric of, for lack of a better term, civilized society. I'm the last one to offer up any excuses for these psychos, but clearly these individuals feel slighted by the world at large. I think it would prudent to figure out why. Sure we stopped these two, but does anyone really believe that these are the only two guys that feel disenfranchised and angry?

Senate - Ted Stevens, a pillar of the Senate for 40 years and the face of Alaska politics almost since statehood, was convicted of a seven-felony string of corruption charges — found guilty of accepting a bonanza of home renovations and fancy trimmings from an oil executive and then lying about it. The senator said he would stay in the race against Democrat Mark Begich. Though the convictions are a significant blow for the Senate's longest-serving Republican, they do not disqualify him, and Stevens is still hugely popular in his home state. Of course he's running for Senate again. Heck, I bet he wins by a significant margin. Turns out that a felony can only prevent you from voting, not actually running for office. You have to love politics. Of course, on the bright side, Stevens probably has a lot fewer skeletons in his closet then the rest of his Senate colleagues.

Syria - What with things going so well in Iraq and Afghanistan, I guess it's not much of a surprise that the U.S. decided to piss in someone else's backyard. A bold U.S. raid into Syria showed the stark choice the Bush administration is putting to both friends and adversaries in its final weeks: Clamp down on militants and terrorists or we'll do it for you. And we wonder why no one likes us. The target of the raid in Sukkariyeh, Syria, just over the Iraq border from Husaybah was a man known as Abu Ghadiyah, the leader of the most prolific network to move al-Qaida associated foreign fighters into Iraq. A ground attack was chosen over a missile strike to reduce the chances of hurting civilians not associated with Abu Ghadiyah's network, the official said. Syria said troops in four helicopters attacked a building and killed eight people, including four children. The attack comes at time when Syria has been working to improve its image in the world. And periodically, U.S. commanders have noted that Damascus has worked harder to clamp down on the use of its country by terrorists. So this raid was what, our way of offering positive reinforcement? The United States has been asking Syria to hand over, capture or kill Abu Ghadiyah for months or years. The U.S. Treasury Department claims he ran a resupply operation on the Syrian border. Syria rebuffed the U.S. request, saying it was monitoring Abu Ghadiyah's activities. Clearly, Syria wasn't doing enough was it? Syria called the raid a "serious aggression," and its foreign ministry summoned the charges d'affaires of the United States and Iraq in protest. Whine, whine, whine. Seriously, what is the big deal with the United States ignoring the sovereignty of another nation. It's not like we didn't have a good reason. There was a bad guy hiding out in Syria, and we didn't like that.

War on Terrorism - Let me preface this item by saying, I just found my new favorite web site, but more on that in a moment. When political pundits began talking last year about the tab for the war in Iraq hitting $1 trillion, Rob Simpson sprang from his sofa in indignation. "Why aren't people outraged about this? Why aren't we hearing about it?" Simpson said. And then it came to him: "Nobody knows what a trillion dollars is." That's not true. A trillion dollars is like what, a tenth of the national debt? Simpson decided to embark "on an unusual but intriguing research project" to put the dollars and cents of the war into perspective. He hired some assistants and spent 12 months immersed in economic data and crunching numbers. The result: a slim but heavily annotated paperback released, "What We Could Have Done With the Money: 50 Ways to Spend the Trillion Dollars We've Spent on Iraq." He calculates $1 trillion could pave the entire U.S. interstate highway system with gold — 23.5-karat gold leaf. It could buy every person on the planet an iPod. It could give every high school student in the United States a free college education. It could pay off every American's credit card. It could buy a Buick for every senior citizen still driving in the United States. America could the double the 663,000 cops on the beat for 32 years. It could buy 16.6 million Habitat for Humanity houses, enough for 43 million Americans. Now imagine investing that $1 trillion in the stock market to make it grow and last longer. He used an accepted long-term return on investment of 9% annually, with compounding interest. The investment approach could pay for 1.9 million additional teachers for America's classrooms, retrain 4 million workers a year or lay a foundation for paying Social Security benefits in 65 years to every child born in the United States, beginning today. Oh I don't know, that stuff sounds okay, I guess. But you have to admit going all "shock and awe" on Iraq was pretty cool too. Simpson created a Web site companion to his book that lets you go virtual shopping with a $1 trillion credit card (click here). Choices range from buying sports franchises to theme parks, from helping disabled veterans to polar bears. "At one point we couldn't find anybody who actually stuck with it long enough to spend $1 trillion," Simpson said. You laugh? Try it, it's not as easy as it looks. I tried.

Hockey - Here's a little known piece of trivia for you. This past Saturday night, every team in the NHL--all 30 teams--were in action. Turns out this is only the second time in NHL history that this has happened. Of less surprise is the fact that no one noticed.

What Caught My Eye Today

2008 Presidential Race - Police in Ontario, CA arrested the head of a voter registration firm that has been accused of duping people into registering as Republicans. The firm was hired by the California Republican Party to register 70,000 new Republican for a fee of $7 to $12 per head. Of the 46 voters randomly interviewed by the Los Angeles Times, 80% said they had been tricked. Some said that they were told they were signing a petition for tougher laws against child molestation. The state GOP accused California's Democratic secretary of State of "using her office to play politics." I'm tempted to go off on the absurdity of the GOP's claim against the Secretary of State--like it's her fault that the firm the GOP hired was engaging in fraudulent voter registration tactics. Give me a break. No, instead I want to give a shout out the 46 newly registered voters who apparently cannot read. Maybe I'm just paranoid, but I don't go around putting my signature on documents without reading what it is that I'm signing. As hard as it may be to believe this, there are some people out there--those who aren't constrained by scruples or conscience--who will not hesitate to take advantage of unwitting--and apparently illiterate--folks in order to benefit themselves. Finally, for my friends at GOP headquarters, maybe instead of blaming the Secretary of State you could spent a wee bit more time vetting the firms you employ for voter registration drives.

Halloween - The state of Maryland ordered all child sex offenders currently on parole to display pumpkin-shaped Halloween stickers reading, "No candy at this residence." The signs were mailed to 1200 registered offenders, who were also instructed to leave their porch lights off and stay inside after 6 p.m. "Halloween provides a rare opportunity for you to demonstrate to your neighbors that you are making a sincere effort to change the direction of your life," an instruction letter to the offenders stated. True enough, but did the government have to announce this program to the entire world? Now anyone who displays one of these sticker might as well put up a sign saying, "Keep Out. Registered Sex Offender." Talk about a modern day scarlet letter. I'm not saying that these folks deserve to be treated with kid gloves, but officials might have increased compliance with this directive if they exercised a bit more discretion.

Cuba - Cuba has twice as much recoverable oil in its offshore fields as previously thought. The state oil company Cubapetroleo said it believes there are more than 20 billion barrels of recoverable oil off Cuba's shores, not the 9 billion the U.S. Geological Survey estimated. The estimates are base on comparisons to known oil reserves found within similar geological structures off the costs of the U.S. and Mexico. If the reserves are confirmed, Cuba could equal the U.S. in oil production, which would generate unprecedented wealth for the Communist state. But oil industry analysts are skeptical of the claim. I'd say there is plenty of skepticism to go around. First you have the U.S. Geological Survey with its estimates which allegedly are way low; big surprise there. The U.S. usually looks upon Cuba rather favorably. Second, you have the Cubans saying they have twice as much oil as previously thought. So riddle me this, how does one manage to overlook 10 billion barrels of oil off one's own coastline? Then there is the third angle to this story. Admittedly, it is rather minor, and I almost hesitate to bring it up at all, but here it is--the Cubans haven't actually discovered any new oil yet. They're merely speculating that they have some untapped oil reserves based on the fact that they have similar rock formations that the U.S. and Mexico have.

And finally, we have another entry for the "so bizarre it must be true" file. I don't know what it is about Caribbean island nations. Maybe there is something funny in the water in this part of the world.

Jamaica - Police in Jamaica are investigating the theft of an entire beach. Come again. The 1,300-foot stretch of white sand was supposed to be the centerpiece of a new $108 million resort, but those plans are now on hold until the missing sand--some 500 truckloads--can be found. Police said the investigation was focusing on "the trucks themselves, the organizers, and, of course, there is some suspicion that some police were in collusion with the movers of the sand." Wow, they came up with that hypothesis all by themselves? These must be super cops, or something. How in the world do you steal a beach without anyone noticing? I know, maybe Jamaican officials could get some help from Cuba. Those dudes seem to have no problem finding stuff.

What Caught My Eye Today

Economy - Usually I throw random stories of interest into a bucket I affectionately like to call "Potpourri," but with the global economy in a tailspin, it seems even the random stories are related to the economy. So with that I give you "Potpourri - the Economy Edition"

• The global financial crisis will add at least 20 million people to the world's unemployed, bringing the global total to 210 million. That sounds like a lot (and well, it is) but, given that the global population is 6,700,000,000, we're basically talking about and unemployment rate of just over 3.1%. Not bad considering the U.S. unemployment rate almost double that at 6.1%
• In 2007, Wall Street's five biggest firms--Bear Stearns, Goldman Sachs, Lehman Brothers, Merrill Lynch and Morgan Stanley--paid out $39 billion in employee bonuses; their shareholders lost $74 billion over the same period. And if you are keeping score, none of these firms exists now; sadly, the shareholder losses still do.
• The financial slowdown has hit the art market. The most recent auctions of contemporary art at Sotheby's and Christie's brought in $93.4 million, well below the pre-sale estimates of $204 million. Now, now. Let's not arbitrarily blame the economy for this one. I can think of at least one other reason why the auction dollars were off--the art was bad. Hey, sometimes it happens.

2008 Presidential Race - Here is a proverbial "slap across the face" as big as I've ever seen. Russia this week formally rejected a request for funds from John McCain's presidential campaign. Russia's ambassador to the United Nations received a campaign mailer at his New York City residence addressed to "Dear Friend" and asking for a contribution to defeat Barack Obama. He responded by releasing an official statement declaring that Russia never finances political activity in foreign countries. Going public with the matter was seen as Russia's way of chiding McCain, a harsh critic of Russian policy. So like does this qualify as an international incident, or what? I guess it must have been a slow week for the Russian ambassador. I don't know about you, but usually when I get a campaign mailer, I find it easier just tossing it in the recycling bin, but that's just me.

India - My first reaction to this story was that these dudes were just being mean, then it occurred to me that they might actually be onto something here. Indians are flocking to a Bollywood musical about work in a call center that depicts young, hip Indians patiently giving technical assistance to imbecilic American callers. See what I mean? Mean, but probably based on real-life encounters. In one scene an American caller had taken the top off an oven in order to fit a large dish inside, and can't understand why the oven didn't work anymore. Okay, I'm sure they took some liberties with that call, but I can see that happening with one possible exception. Most ovens that I've encountered tend to have oven door that open from the front, so I'm having a hard time visualizing how someone takes the top off an oven. Then again, I'm just another imbecilic American, so what do I know.

What Caught My Eye Today

NATO - Lest you had forgotten that the world continues to function in spite of the upcoming U.S. Presidential election and the global economic meltdown, I give you the following item. President Bush signed papers Friday to formally declare U.S. support of NATO membership for Albania and Croatia — two countries that he said were once in the "shackles of communism." Bush said the U.S. looks forward to the day when NATO embraces all the nations of the Balkans, including Macedonia. He also reiterated U.S. support for prospective NATO members Ukraine, Georgia, Montenegro, Bosnia-Herzegovina. Bush added, "The door to NATO membership also remains open to the people of Serbia should they choose that path." Not to mention the fact that this is sure to piss off Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin to no end.

That being said, let's be real. The election and the economy are pretty much all anyone is talking about these days.

2008 Presidential Campaign - So we're down to the home stretch. Election day is just 11 days away, which can mean just one thing. The stories making the headlines are getting more and more outlandish. Here's a case in point. A McCain campaign volunteer made up a story of being robbed, pinned to the ground and having the letter "B" scratched on her face in what she had said was a politically inspired attack. She initially told investigators she was attempting to use a bank branch ATM on Wednesday night when a 6-foot-4 black man approached her from behind, put a knife blade to her throat and demanded money. She told police she handed the assailant $60 and walked away. Then she said she suspected the man then noticed a John McCain sticker on her car. She said the man punched her in the back of the head, knocked her to the ground and scratched a backward letter "B" into her face with a dull knife claiming that he was going to "teach her a lesson" for supporting the Republican presidential candidate, and that she was going to become a supporter of Democratic candidate Barack Obama. She could provide no explanation for why she invented the story. Let me take a stab at one...Girlfriend is certifiable nuts. All kidding aside, the disturbing thing about this story is that as much as we publicly say that race doesn't matter, you don't have to look very far to find some rather divisive feelings about the 'color' of the two candidates running for President. And that is just plain sad.

Economy - You know things are bad when a 300 point loss for the Dow Jones Industrial Index is considered a good day. If ever a 300-point loss on Wall Street could be a good thing, it was today. Wall Street started the day with a nervous eye on how far stocks would have to fall before triggering emergency trading halts. They ended the session relieved, even though the Dow Jones industrial average closed down 312 points--its lowest finish since the financial crisis began six weeks ago. Stock markets in Europe and Asia had plummeted, and oil prices plunged past their lows for the last year on growing fears of a global recession. Major indexes declined more than 14% in Russia, and were ordered closed until next week. Dow futures — a bet, before trading opens, on where stocks would go — had plunged 550 points triggering a temporary trading halt. You all may just want to skip ahead to the next story...this only gets worse. The Dow closed at 8,378, its lowest finish since 8,306 on April 25, 2003. In the last six weeks, the Dow has experienced triple-digit moves in 27 of 30 trading sessions. Total losses in the Dow Jones Wilshire 5,000 since the market's Oct 2007 high are $8.8 trillion, or 44%. So this is how the end of the world starts, huh?

Armageddon - Okay maybe the economy isn't that bad...or maybe it is. The point is "no one knows the day or the hour." And that just happens to be the tag line for this enterprising--yet thoroughly eerie--web site You've Been Left Behind.com. First a description from the fine folks at Maxim. When Armageddon comes, good Christians will be yoinked to heaven before Jesus blows up the planet. If you're one of them, you can pay this site $40 to send a goodbye e-mail to your heathen friends when you disappear. I'd say that's a rather succinct description of the site. Here's how the nut jobs who runs the web site describe it. We all have family and friends who have failed to receive the Good News of the Gospel. The unsaved will be 'left behind' on earth to go through the "tribulation period" after the "Rapture". Imagine how taken back they will be by the millions of missing Christians and devastation at the rapture. They will know it was true and that they have blown it. There will be a small window of time where they might be reached for the Kingdom of God. We have made it possible for you to send them a letter of love and a plea to receive Christ one last time. You can also send information based on scripture as to what will happen next. Each fulfilled prophecy will cause your letter and plea to be remembered and a decision to be made. Um, yeah. Whatever, dude. For my $40 bucks, if the world is going to come to an end anyway, I'm getting some booze and going out with a nice buzz.

What Caught My Eye Today

Economy - Suffice it to say that the news is mostly bad. Though this next story makes you chuckle a bit, if for no other reason, that the absurdity of the revelation revealed by the the British Prime Minister. British Prime Minister Gordon Brown acknowledged for the first time that the world economic downturn is likely to cause a recession in the United Kingdom. Brown told lawmakers at his weekly question-and-answer session at the House of Commons that current economic woes were "likely to cause recession." Now, now, Gordo...let's not go around scaring everyone with a bunch of hastily made conjecture. "Likely to cause recession?" Duh, you pinhead.

Not willing to be outdone by any head of state in the lame ass quote department, we have this gem courtesy of the United Nations.

China - China can boost public trust badly shaken by a spate of food safety scandals, including tainted formula that gave thousands of babies painful kidney stones, by enacting stricter laws and replacing its patchwork surveillance system, according to the U.N. "The national system needs urgent review and revision," the U.N. said. That's a rather provocative statement by the usually tame United Nations. So what if 4 babies have died and another 54,000 have fallen sick. That's no reason to blast an entire country, is it? In the dairy scandal, contamination has also turned up in powered and liquid milk, yogurt and other products made with milk. Dozens of countries have pulled Chinese-made goods with dairy ingredients off their shelves to test for melamine. The United Nations report said China has a basic food hygiene law but it needs revision to cover the food chain from farm to table. Well there's a novel idea. Ensuring that the food chain remains free of harmful chemicals. Who would have thought?

Japan - This particular item caught my attention because it's a bonehead military story that doesn't involve the U.S. military. A Japanese sailor dropping out of an elite navy training program died in an unofficial farewell ritual requiring him to fight 15 classmates. The sailor was two days away from leaving the two-year program for the navy's elite Special Boarding Unit. According to the incident report, one of the school's two supervisors approved the fight, which was suggested by another student. Mind you that not one, but two officers sanctioned this beating...I mean fight. The report, however, stopped short of calling the ritual an act of hazing. No need to jump to conclusions. According to the report, the sailor was unable to kick after several of the 50-second-long rounds and by the tenth round, he was worn out but still responsive. What a wimp. In the 14th round, one of his opponents landed a right hook that knocked him out and he was rushed to the hospital. He never regained consciousness. The report found classmates had differing views of the farewell ritual with one classmate calling it "a nice send-off gift," while another said the victim might have seen the event as a punishment. I am the first to admit that this is an extreme example of military whack jobs going way off the reservation; the vast majority of military personnel conduct themselves with a dignity and honor that most of us can only dream of attaining. The thing that gets me about this particular story is that a stunt like this tends to dominate the headlines and push to the background all the decent acts of the military.

Bad Memories - This medical breakthrough is rather amazing, though the implications of it are rather scary. Amping up a chemical in the mouse brain and then triggering the animal's recall can cause erasure of those, and only those, specific memories. While the study was done in mice that were genetically modified to react to the chemical, the results suggest that it might one day be possible to develop a drug for eliminating specific, long-term memories, something that could be a boon for those suffering from debilitating phobias or post-traumatic stress disorder. Sign me up for a dose to erase the mid-80s (puberty was a bitch) and most of the past year (this financial crisis was just too much for me to handle). For more than two decades, researchers have been studying the chemical--a protein called alpha-CaM kinase II--for its role in learning and memory consolidation. The study found that when the mice recalled long-term memories while the protein was over expressed in their brains, the combination appeared to selectively delete those memories. So this sounds pretty cool, but if this stuff could work to delete bad memories, what's to stop some unscrupulous individual for using it to delete other memories or all of them. To me, this is yet another example of 'just because you can doesn't mean you should.'

What Caught My Eye Today

Guantanamo Bay - The U.S. military abruptly dropped charges against five Guantanamo Bay detainees, including one who allegedly plotted to detonate a "dirty bomb" in the U.S., after a prosecutor accused the military of suppressing evidence that could have helped clear them. No, no. You read that correctly. The dude who is supposed to be prosecuting these alleged terrorists accused the military of withholding evidence from the defense. You don't see that every day. The American Civil Liberties Union said the decision to drop the charges "underscores the complete failure of the indefinite detention system and the need to shut down the prison." You don't say. The prosecutor said the military was withholding evidence that could have helped clear the defendants. He resigned in what he called a crisis of conscience. Well, at least someone in this mess still manages to have a conscience.

Economy - Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson said the current financial challenges facing the country will persist for a number of months, but he said the economy will rebound. One has to appreciate the optimistic tone. Lord knows it couldn't have been easy for Paulson to say this with a straight face. On the other hand, what else could he have said? "Sorry folks. The economy is done and it ain't coming back." Everyone knows you can't say those sorts of things, even if they're true. He said that close cooperation with other countries is critical and cautioned that it is important for all nations to be careful to make sure that the actions they are taking to deal with the crisis do not come at the expense of other nations. So not only does the U.S. have to do things right but so does the rest of the world and we have to cooperate with each other to do it? We're doomed.

India - Scientists have better maps of distant Mars than the moon where astronauts have walked. But India hopes to change that with its first lunar mission. Chandrayaan-1 — which means "Moon Craft" in ancient Sanskrit — launched from the Sriharikota space center in southern India in a two-year mission aimed at laying the groundwork for further Indian space expeditions. "Moon Craft" is the best you guys could come up with? Dude, you're going to the moon for crying out loud. You'd think that you could sex up the name just a little bit. As India's economy has boomed in recent years, it has sought to convert its new found wealth — built on its high-tech sector — into political and military clout and stake a claim as a world leader. That's a much more practical use of wealth than trivial little things like reducing poverty and illiteracy among the quarter of the population earning less than $0.40 a day. It is hoping that a moon mission — coming just months after it finalized a deal with the United States that recognizes India as a nuclear power — will further enhance that status. To date only the U.S., Russia, the European Space Agency, Japan and China have sent missions to the moon. And then there were six.

And finally, another item for the "No kidding, Sherlock" file...

Nukes - The world is on the brink of an avalanche in the spread of devastating weaponry, a new global non-proliferation group warned, saying that a nuclear incident would dwarf the September 11 attacks. Do ya think? "The devastation that could be wreaked by one major nuclear weapons incident alone puts 9/11 and almost everything else (in) to the category of the insignificant," said the co-chair of the report. These idiots needed to write a report to state the obvious? There are between 13,000 and 16,000 nuclear warheads actively deployed around the world and that it was "really a bit of a miracle" that a nuclear catastrophe had not occurred during the Cold War or afterwards. Now that I can believe. Scary thought, isn't it? I think I'm going to go rub that lucky rabbit's foot now.

What Caught My Eye Today

2008 Presidential Race - In today's daily double we have early voting in Florida and Sarah Palin being Sarah Palin.

Florida kicked off early voting, with record crowds heading to the polls and voters waiting hours to cast their ballots. Elections officials said the few reported problems were minor. Oh, I'm not worried. I'm pretty sure the problems will escalate as soon as the lawyers from both campaigns get involved. Counties large and small, were reporting record turnout. The early voting sites will remain open two weeks until the weekend before Election Day. The Sunshine State is again key this election season, with a prize of 27 electoral votes — 10 percent of the 270 needed to clinch the election. Registration numbers released yesterday show a 600,000-voter edge for Democrats over Republicans in Florida: 4.7 million versus 4.1 million, with 2.1 million people identifying with neither party. The McCain campaign acknowledged it expected more Democrats than Republicans to vote early, but says GOP voters have requested 295,000 absentee ballots statewide compared with 199,000 Democrats. I'm all for making it as easy as possible for as many people to vote as we can, but there is a reason they call it Election Day. I've already been subjected to nearly two years of campaigning and by the time my state primary was held, more than half the candidates from both parties had already dropped out. Now, with all this early voting, the President may already have been determined before I ever cast my ballot. Seriously, folks. What is the rush?

Republican vice presidential nominee Sarah Palin says she supports a constitutional amendment banning gay marriage, a break with John McCain who has said he believes states should be left to define what marriage is. You go, girl. What self respecting conservative wouldn't hold onto her values regardless of the circumstances it may have on your running mate's chances to get you a job that, not in a million years, you could have gotten on your own? And you have to hand it to Palin. When she gets her mind set on something, she sticks to her guns. Remind you of anyone we know? Palin also reaffirmed her view that Obama had been "palling around with terrorists" because of his association with Bill Ayers, a 1960s-era radical who helped found the violent Weather Underground group to protest the Vietnam war. And to top it all off, Palin has found yet another cause to rally the troops around--God. Palin claimed religion and God had been "mocked" during the campaign, although she offered no evidence to support that. Say what you will about her, but Palin certainly makes election news much more entertaining to read.

Economy (Part I) - The economy's health improved for the first time in five months in September as supplier deliveries and new orders strengthened. The New York-based Conference Board said its monthly forecast of future economic activity rose 0.3% percent. The index had fallen a revised 0.9% in August and 0.7% in July. I don't want to incidentally give you the impression that this is good news, because apparently it's not. A one-time jump in the money supply as the federal government undertook a series of expensive bailouts helped September's index. Economists predict that the trend is still downwards, and October's index will plunge. Down 3.3% for the year, the index is consistent with recession, and it has not hit bottom yet. So there you have it. Even good news is bad. How depressing is that?

Economy (Part II) - Here's one for the "no kidding, Sherlock" file. With little relief in sight, people are getting more anxious about the slumping economy and how it affects them. The share of people who believe the country is moving in the right direction has plunged in just a few weeks, from 28% in September to 15% in October. Wait, the gloom and doom is just getting started. At the same time there is a drop in those surveyed who say they are happy about the way things are going in their own lives. Now it is 59% who say they are personally happy, compared with 70% last month. The magnitude of the financial meltdown and its impact on the overall economy is hitting people hard across the social and economic spectrum. Strikingly, one-third are worried about losing their jobs, half fret they will be unable to keep up with mortgage and credit card payments, and seven in 10 are anxious that their stocks and retirement investments are losing value. Me personally--I'm one of those dudes in the "freaked out about all of the above" column. Though I expect my pessimism to be short lived...my latest wine club shipment just arrived. I imagine in a few short hours, things will be looking much rosier.

Baseball - I'm sure we all had this match up pegged for the World Series, the Philadelphia Phillies and the Tampa Bay Rays. The biggest thing these teams have in common is losing. The Phillies have lost more games than any franchise in professional sports, while Tampa Bay never finished higher than fourth place during its 10 seasons before this one. With power and pitching, Philadelphia beat the wild-card Brewers three games to one in the first round and dispatched the Los Angeles Dodgers 4-1 in the NLCS to win its sixth pennant and first since 1993. This is the Phillies’ 11th postseason appearance in their 126-year history. A doormat since the team’s inception in 1998, Tampa Bay had never won more than 70 games in a season before this year. But the young and athletic Rays (97-65) were baseball’s biggest surprise in 2008, winning the rugged AL East. The Rays are trying to become the first team to win a championship after finishing with the worst record in the majors the previous season. All fascinating stuff...not. Here's the important stuff that everyone needs to know...the spread. Las Vegas sports books favor the Tampa Bay Rays to win the World Series over the Philadelphia Phillies and would owe huge payouts if the American League champions prevail. Oddsmakers say enough bettors took the Rays early in the year at long-shot prices to force books to adjust lines to encourage bets on the Phillies.

What Caught My Eye Today

2008 Presidential Campaign - So much to choose from today. Let's start with the polls shall we? People's regard for the Republican presidential nominee has deteriorated since September, with McCain losing ground in how favorably he's seen and in a long list of personal qualities voters seek in White House contenders. Negative campaigning and a month of intense public focus on collapsing global economic and financial markets have not been kind to McCain. Go figure. i always found character attacks to be rather attractive in a presidential candidate. During the same period, Barack Obama went the other way. For McCain, the poll's good news is that despite a difficult month, his public image is not dramatically worse than Obama's and in several areas remains better. The public still rates him higher than Obama for keeping America safe, working with both political parties, and being decisive, experienced and competent. Aside from the obvious--no one has ever won the presidency based on poll results--I have a big problem with this poll in particular. Where are the questions on which of these guys offers those most plausible solutions for addressing the problems that our country is facing from the economy to foreign policy to...you name it, and it's probably messed up.

Perhaps it is polls like this that are leading the Obama campaign to shift its focus to other things...

Barack Obama's transition team recently held a large organizational meeting as part of an accelerated effort to plan for a possible new administration. Jumping the gun there a bit, aren't you spark plug? Maybe you should win the election first. The effort is largely separate from the campaign structure that helped plan and execute Obama's remarkable rise to the position of front-runner in a race in which he is bidding to become the first black president. Yeah, right. They expect us to believe that the dudes responsible for putting Obama into the White House aren't angling for some career advancement opportunities?

And then there's our friend, Sarah Palin. Girlfriend cannot seem to get any love from anyone these days...even from her own party.

John McCain got a call from Defense Secretary Robert Gates. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice was on the phone to Barack Obama, and to his Democratic running mate, Joe Biden. Nobody called Sarah Palin. The calls this week were part of the Bush administration's campaign to line up political support for a compromise deal with Iraq that cedes some authority over U.S. forces, and a courtesy to the presidential hopefuls on whose watch the deal would take effect. Palin, the only politician among the presidential and vice presidential contenders who is not in Congress, didn't get the call. Gee, I wonder how Palin's going to spin this into being another ploy by the press or Obama campaign to besmirch her good name. You know she sure-as-heck is going to try. Administration officials said that although the Alaska governor is the only candidate at the top of the tickets not contacted, there was no snub. Initial telephone briefings by Rice, Gates and other senior officials were aimed only at key lawmakers whose support for the agreement is considered essential, according to the White House. McCain, Obama and Biden are all senators who serve on relevant foreign affairs and military oversight committees. Sounds official and all, but I'm still not buying it. Frankly a snub would have been an improvement. At least that suggest that the White House thought of Palin in the first place. This lame-ass excuse makes it sound like the notion of notifying Palin never even entered the conversation.

Iraq - This next item is a perfect illustration of why the military shouldn't try its hand at diplomacy. In an interview published in the Washington Post, General Ray Odierno, who took command of the U.S.-led coalition last month, said U.S. intelligence reports indicated Iran has tried to bribe Iraqi lawmakers to derail the agreement, which must be approved by parliament before the U.N. mandate expires at the end of the year. Here's my favorite part. When asked for proof of his allegation, Odierno couldn't produce any but said he read a bunch of intelligence reports suggesting that bribes were mad. Now that is surprising, what with the sterling reputation of the U.S. Intelligence services. And how do you think the Iraqi government reacted to this? Two words--not well Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki said, "The American commander has risked his position when he spoke in this tone and has regrettably complicated relations. How can he speak like this about a baseless allegation? What has been said is truly regrettable." What al-Maliki doesn't seem to understand is that America doesn't give two-shakes what Iraq thinks. If we think Iraqi officials are taking bribes from Iran, then obviously that's what is happening. We don't need trivial stuff like facts or proof to justify our claims. How dense is this guy, anyway?

What Caught My Eye Today

Economy - Despair over the economy sent Wall Street plunging today, propelling the Dow Jones industrials down 733 points to their second-largest point loss ever. On the off chance that you've blocked it out, the largest point loss ever happened last week. Stocks fell on a combination of disheartening economic data, including a big drop in retail sales and a Federal Reserve report that said tight credit conditions are hurting businesses across the country. Investors apparently have come to believe that Monday's big rebound, a response to the government's plan to invest $250 billion in banks to get the lending business restarted, was overdone given the problems elsewhere in the economy. I forgot to mention that the Dow was up like a thousand points on Monday. Turns out that oversight wasn't that big of a deal, what with all those gains being totally over the past two days. Here's the latest on just how bad things have been on Wall Street...you may just want to skip over this if you don't have a strong stomach. The Dow's massive decline marks its 20th triple-digit move in 23 sessions. Broader stock indicators also skidded. The Standard & Poor's 500 index fell 90.17, or 9.03%, to 907.84, and the Nasdaq composite index fell 150.68, or 8.47%, to 1,628.33. Yeah, that's going to leave a mark.

2008 Presidential Race - Debate night in America, my friends. John McCain is hoping to change the course of a campaign moving decidedly in Barack Obama's direction in the third and final presidential debate. With less than three weeks until the election, the debate focusing on the economic crisis offers McCain what could be one of his last big chances to persuade voters to give the race another look. Polls show Obama with a clear lead nationally and in several key battleground states. The debates, while widely watched, have been panned by many critics for adhering to rules worked out between the two campaigns that limited interchange between the candidates and quashed follow-up questions by moderators. The format has allowed both Obama and McCain to rehash campaign talking points while largely avoiding direct answers to questions. Call me a pessimist, but other than the very real possibility of McCain launching some ill-advise attacks at Obama's character, I don't imagine we'll hear anything new. If I had to speculate, I'm guessing that these guys are going to spend most of the debate plugging their recently announced plans for rescuing the economy and explaining why the other guy's plan won't work. Of course, working in Obama's favor is the fact that he has a pretty big lead in the polls. All he has to do is not screw up. McCain needs to figure out some way to salvage his floundering campaign. That means he's going to have to take some risks. I'm not sure that he will, but if he wants to shake things up, I'm not sure he has many alternatives at this point.

Iraq - Washington and Baghdad have reached a final agreement after months of talks on a pact that would require U.S. forces to withdraw from Iraq by 2011. This certainly has all the trappings of a timetable, but we'd never agree to something like that, so clearly I'm mistaken here. The bilateral pact replaces a U.N. Security Council resolution enacted after the U.S. invasion of Iraq in 2003 and will give Iraq's elected government authority over the U.S. troop presence for the first time. Iraq said it had secured the right to prosecute U.S. soldiers for serious crimes under certain circumstances, an issue both sides had long said was holding up the pact. I'm not saying that U.S. soldiers should be given carte blanche, but this doesn't seem like the ideal situation for our military to be operating. The United States has similar "status of forces" agreements with more than 100 other countries. It allows NATO allies to prosecute U.S. soldiers for crimes unrelated to their military duties, but usually maintains greater protections elsewhere. Then again, if this agreement is merely granting the same rights to Iraq that NATO allies have, then who am I to criticize. Among other affects of the end of the U.N. mandate, the U.S. military will no longer be able to hold prisoners without charging them with crimes under Iraqi law. U.S. forces now hold 18,000 prisoners, few of whom have been charged. Well that totally makes no sense. I was under the impression that Abu Ghraib and Guantanamo Bay were sterling examples of how to detain enemy combatants indefinitely with no accountability or oversight. The pact must be approved by a council of Iraqi political leaders, the cabinet and the parliament. Most major political groups say they accept the idea of a U.S. presence as long as it is temporary. The pact will not require approval by the U.S. Congress. Well in that case, the agreement actually stands a chance of being enacted.

Russia - Apparently, Russia is not terribly interested in keeping its population informed about the global economic crisis. TV channels gloss over the subject and state news agencies are under orders to avoid frightening language. But beyond the spin, Russia's stock markets are plunging, some grocery shelves are empty and one newspaper has even suggested its readers stash some cash — under the mattress. Always good advice in times of economic turmoil. After all, what could possibly happen to your mattress? Last week, the RTS stock exchange suffered its worst trading day on record, plunging 19%. The markets were hit after oil prices — the backbone of Russia's economy — slid heavily amid mounting concerns over the global economic meltdown. But in Russia, it didn't even make the evening news on the three state-controlled channels. Instead, they aired a meeting between President Dmitry Medvedev and one of the country's richest billionaires, Mikhail Fridman, in which the two discussed the investment opportunities created by the global crisis. Wow. Talk about your must-see TV. These guys are really delivering the goods. The Kremlin's message seems to be getting across. Big surprise there. In a poll carried out in late September by the Public Opinion Foundation, one-quarter of those questioned said they had heard nothing about the global financial crisis, while 57% said they were satisfied with the country's economy — up from 53% in July. See that's what's so awesome about Russia. Let's say you are just an average Joe Six Pack Muscovite trying to make a buck. You don't want to waste your precious time coming up with your own opinion on the health of the economy. No problem. Mother Russia will produce a favorable opinion on your behalf. That was no matter how crappy the rest of the world is doing, everything is everything in Russia. Like I said, how awesome is that?

What Caught My Eye Today

2008 Presidential Race - Barack Obama and John McCain will both pursue the image of a strong leader in troublesome economic times as they meet for their third and final presidential debate. That would be a welcome change of pace. Imagine, a presidential nominee actually displaying some real leadership. Both presidential contenders have used the previous debates to make and remake their main campaign points, frequently sidestepping direct questions such as how they would have to scale back their long lists of campaign promises in light of the economic crisis. Why let reality get in the way of campaign promises that will never happen? Advisers for each candidate say he will use the final debate to lay out his vision for the country and promote his economic policies while drawing differences with his opponent. Call me a skeptic, but I'll believe it when I see it.

Economy - Big banks started falling in line behind a rejiggered bailout plan that will have the government forking over as much as $250 billion in exchange for partial ownership. Oh goodie, Main Street is now in the bank ownership business. On the bright side, I hear banks throw killer holiday parties. Initially the U.S. government will pour $125 billion into nine major banks with the hope that they will use the money to rebuild their reserves and to increase lending to consumers and businesses. Another $125 billion will be made available this year to other banks — if they need it — for cash infusions. Treasury switched gears deciding to first use a chunk of the $700 billion from the recently enacted financial bailout package to pay for taking partial ownership stakes in banks, rather than using the money to buy rotten debts from financial institutions. Some choice, huh? Worthless mortgages or worthless banks. I love to see those hard earned tax dollars going to good use. The government's shares will carry a 5% annual dividend that will increase to 9% after five years. That increase in the rate is aimed at providing an incentive for companies to buy the government out. The advantage to the taxpayer is that if the rescue plan works, then the shares can be sold for more than the government initially paid, providing a profit on the transaction. I'm sorry, but did I read this correctly; the government is actually attempting to turn a profit for taxpayers? I suppose this was bound to happen at some point--pigs are officially flying out of my butt.

Need more proof that the world is going bonkers? I give you Exhibit B...

Syria - Syria formally recognized Lebanon for the first time by establishing diplomatic relations with its neighbor. Lebanon and Syria have not had formal diplomatic ties since both gained independence from France in the 1940s and the move by President Bashar Assad ends six decades of non-recognition. Relations between the Arab nations have been lopsided since the 1970s, when Syria sent its army into Lebanon and retained control there for nearly 30 years. Recognition of Lebanon could help Syrian aspirations to build trust with the West as it pursues indirect talks with Israel, mediated through Turkey. What's this now. First Syria plays nice-nice with Lebanon, and now its in talks with Israel. Quick someone check to see if Frosty the Snowman relocated to hell.

Then again, some places remain business as usual...unfortunately.

Afghanistan - U.S. military successes in Iraq have forced sophisticated and well-trained insurgents to pour into Afghanistan instead, part of the reason violence has spiked in Afghanistan. The Afghan defense minister said terrorists who would have once fought in Iraq have been "diverted" to Afghanistan. "The success of coalition forces in Iraq and also some other issues in some of the neighboring countries have made it possible that there is a major increase in the foreign fighters," he said. He also said militant Web sites have been encouraging fighters to go to Afghanistan instead of Iraq. Well duh. Even if I'm a terrorist, I'm still rather interested in being a living terrorist as opposed to a dead one (I imagine it's also a bit easier to spread terror if one still has a pulse).

Capital Punishment - The first inmate to die by lethal injection in Ohio in more than a year argued to the end that his obesity would make it difficult for prison staff to find suitable veins in his arms to deliver the deadly chemicals. There were no difficulties, said a spokesman for the Southern Ohio Correctional Facility, where inmate was executed for killing two University of Akron students in 1986. Whew. That's a relief. Nothing ruins a good execution more than screwing up the IV. The inmate said in numerous legal filings that his obesity made death by lethal injection inhumane. Problems finding veins on other inmates had delayed previous executions in Ohio. I'm not a big fan of capital punishment, and probably never will be. That being said, my problem with this dude's argument is that at no time do he suggest that his actions warranted any lesser punishment. His only contention was that his weight posed a problem with this particular type of execution. Some expression of remorse would probably have been better received.

What Caught My Eye Today

Fred's Note: I want to give a shout out to Mom and Dad on 38 years of wedded bliss (at least for the most part). We'll be thinking of you.

Pope - If you thought that I was leading off the day with something other than the economy (that would be a nice change of pace, wouldn't it?), think again. Pope Benedict XVI said that the global economic crisis should lead the nations of the world back to religion. Call me crazy, but I think there are an awful lot of people out there calling out to God as they watch their retirement accounts vaporize--"Oh God, why is this happening to me?"--you know, that sort of thing. The Vatican has been running articles in its official newspaper that criticize the free-market model for having "grown too much and badly in the past two decades." You see, this is why no one likes the Catholic Church. Where's the love, where's the sympathy?

2008 Presidential Race - Enough of all these polls. How about some scientific evidence that we can truly rely upon in determining the next President. Since October 1 customers at 7-Eleven have been able to choose cup colors--Democratic blue or Republican red. The convenience store's previous Presidential cup polls in 2000 and 2004, accurately predicted the winners within a few percentage points. As of October 7, the running tally from 5,375 participating stores shows Obama ahead 58% to 42%. Just like I promises, concrete proof of who will be the next President. Why bother even showing up to the polls on Election Day? Given the accuracy of this poll, I could not help but add these numbers to the Presidential Race at a Glance portlet.

Nebraska - A Nebraska state law intended to protect unwanted infants has had unintended consequences, with parents abandoning 16 children, most between the ages of 11 and 17, at local hospitals. The law covers children as old as 18, and some overwhelmed parents are using it to dispose of children they feel they can no longer care for. One man said, "I was able to get the kids to a safe place before they were homeless," as he abandoned 9 of his 10 children. On one hand, you could say that these children may be better off in state custody if their parents no longer feel up to the task of parenting. Then there is the cynical perspective that I feel compelled to raise with the state legislators. Every state in the nation has some sort of "safe haven" law on the books. You couldn't just copy one of those to save yourselves the headache of this unforeseen consequence of a poorly written law?

Canada - And now we bring you another so bizarre it must be true story, this time from our friends north of the border. The Ontario provincial legislature is considering a bill that would allow people to apologize without fear of being sued. They need a law for this? The Apology Act prevents apologies for wrongdoings--whether by individuals or by organizations--from being used as evidence of liability in lawsuits. Ontario's Attorney General said, "We see fewer and fewer acknowledgements, demonstrations of regret, demonstrations of remorse, until the lawsuit. Um, I think that's because the perpetrators are sorry that they are getting sued; not necessarily because they screwed someone. The bill does not affect victims' rights to sue or to receive compensation. So basically, this law is being considered because people's consciences no longer seem up to the task of acknowledging wrongdoing. That's nice.

What Caught My Eye Today

Stock Market - Okay, you know that crack I made yesterday about the backward auction? Dude, that was a joke. I wasn't serious. Wall Street capped one of its worst weeks ever with a wild session that saw the Dow Jones industrials gyrate within a 1,000 point range before closing with a relatively mild loss and the Nasdaq composite index actually ending with a modest advance. The Dow lost 128 points, giving the blue chips an eight-day loss of just under 2,400, or 22.1%. The average had its worst week on record in both point and percentage terms. The Standard & Poor's 500 index, the indicator most watched by market professionals, posted its worst weekly run since 1933. The latest loss also means the Dow is down 40.3% since reaching a record high close of 14,164.53 a year ago, on Oct. 9, 2007. The S&P 500, which reached its high of 1,565.15 the same day, is down 42.5%. Investors suffered a paper loss for the day of about $100 billion, as measured by the Dow Jones Wilshire 5000 index. For the week, investors lost $2.4 trillion, and over the past year, the losses have piled up to $8.4 trillion. Let me break it down for you, on the off chance that these numbers are too mind boggling to comprehend--this was a bad week, I mean really bad week, for Wall Street and anyone on 'Any Street' who has the misfortune having a 401(k) invested in mutual funds, which pretty much covers most of the population.

2008 Presidential Race - Things are starting to get a bit out of hand in the McCain campaign. The anger is getting raw at Republican rallies and John McCain is acting to tamp it down. McCain was booed by his own supporters when, in an abrupt switch from raising questions about Barack Obama's character, he described the Democrat as a "decent person and a person that you do not have to be scared of as president of the United States." A sense of grievance spilling into rage has gripped some GOP events this week as McCain supporters see his presidential campaign lag against Obama. Some in the audience are making it personal, against the Democrat. Shouts of "traitor," "terrorist," "treason," "liar," and even "off with his head" have rung from the crowd at McCain and Sarah Palin rallies. With support like this McCain might not be able to hear any criticisms leveled at him by Obama supporters. Still some GOP fanatics need to chill out a bit. The Secret Service confirmed that it had investigated an episode reported in The Washington Post in which someone in Sarah Palin's crowd in Clearwater, Fla., shouted "kill him," on Monday, meaning Obama. Dude, that's not cool, even if it was said in the heat of the moment. Presidential candidates are accustomed to raucous rallies this close to Election Day and welcome the enthusiasm. But they are also traditionally monitors of sorts from the stage. Part of their job is to leaven proceedings if tempers run ragged and to rein in an out-of-bounds comment from the crowd. Maybe McCain didn't get that memo. It's obvious that Palin didn't, or if she did, she ignored it.

Gay Marriage - And then there were 3. A sharply divided Connecticut Supreme Court ruled that gay couples have the right to get married, saying legislators did not go far enough when they approved same-sex civil unions that were identical to marriages in virtually every respect except the name. The 4-3 ruling will make Connecticut the third state, behind Massachusetts and California, to allow same-sex marriages, decisions that in all cases were made by the highest state court. The decision marks the first time that a court rejected civil unions as an alternative to granting gay couples the right to marry. The vast majority of states do not allow gay marriage. Voters in 27 states have taken the extra step of approving constitutional amendments to reinforce that prohibition. Civil unions and a similar arrangement, known as domestic partnerships, are offered to same-sex couples in Vermont, New Jersey, New Hampshire, Oregon, Hawaii, Maine, Washington and the District of Columbia. I'm sure this is purely coincidental (wink-wink), but have you noticed how the states that allow civil unions or gay marriages tend to be 'blue states' and those that don't tend to be 'red states'. Fascinating, don't you find?

Russia - There's no doubt what Vladimir Putin's favorite birthday present is this year — a rare Ussuri tiger cub. All I got for my birthday was a card and some new underwear. State television showed the Russian prime minister tenderly petting the 2-month-old female cub at his residence outside Moscow. Putin said a good home will be found for the tiger, presumably in a zoo or wildlife preserve. As president and now prime minister, Putin is known for his tough talk and macho image. But children and animals seem to bring out a softer side. Of course. And nothing shouts cut and cuddly more than a tiger. Dude, we get that you think you're a stud. Fewer than 400 Ussuri tigers are believed to survive in the wild, most of them in Russia and some in China. They are the largest tiger species, weighing up to 600 pounds.

What Caught My Eye Today

Stock Market - The Dow is starting to look a lot like a backward auction. 10,000...I have 10,000. Who will give me 9? 9,000...I have 9,000. Now I want 8. Who will give me 8,000? A runaway train of a sell-off turned the anniversary of the stock market peak into one of the darkest days in Wall Street history, driving the Dow Jones industrials down a breathtaking 679 points and deepening a financial crisis that has defied all efforts to stop it. What? Like you've never had a bad anniversary? Stocks lost more than 7%, $872 billion of investments evaporated. As bad as the day was, even worse was the cumulative effect of a historic run of declines: The Dow suffered a triple-digit loss for the sixth day in a row, a first, and the average dropped for the seventh day in a row, a losing streak not seen since 2002. You all may want to sit down for this next statistic. Paper losses for the year add up to an staggering $8.3 trillion, according to figures measured by the Dow Jones Wilshire 5000 Composite Index, which tracks 5,000 U.S.-based companies representing almost all stocks traded in America. At least some folks are managing to cope with this mess. After the closing bell, shell shocked traders and bankers gathered at Bobby Van's Steakhouse and downed beers and drinks to chase the ghastly numbers. Ah yes. Booze. The cure all for any ailment.

National Debt - You sort of have to laugh at this next item. Crying certainly doesn't seem to be helping. In a sign of the times, the National Debt Clock in New York City has run out of digits to record the growing figure. See I told you it was funny...where did I put that gun? As a short-term fix, the digital dollar sign on the billboard-style clock near Times Square has been switched to a figure — the "1" in $10 trillion. It's marking the federal government's current debt at about $10.2 trillion. The Durst Organization says it plans to update the sign next year by adding two digits. That will make it capable of tracking debt up to a quadrillion dollars. I think the real tragedy here is that at the rate we're going, those two extra digits are probably going to come in handy...darn it, I know that gun is around here someplace. The late Manhattan real estate developer Seymour Durst put the sign up in 1989 to call attention to what was then a $2.7 trillion debt. Click here for the official Treasury Department Debt to the Penny...if you dare.

Dalai Lama - The Dalai Lama was hospitalized in New Delhi just days after a medical checkup cleared the Tibetan spiritual leader to resume foreign travel. That's Medicare for you. You think that you're better, then whammo--a relapse. In August, the 73-year-old Dalai Lama was admitted to a Mumbai hospital and underwent tests for abdominal discomfort. Doctors advised him to cancel a planned trip to Europe and rest, saying he was suffering from exhaustion. The Dalai Lama normally spends several months a year traveling the world to teach Buddhism and highlight the Tibetans' struggle for greater freedom in China. He was to have visited Italy, Switzerland, the Czech Republic and Germany in October. In this day and age, the world needs all the peacemakers it can lay its hands on (Yes, I know. The Chinese would probably disagree with me on this point.). So, its from the heart that I say to the Dalai Lama, "Gunga galunga...gunga, gunga-galunga." (If this doesn't ring any bells, click here, and all will be revealed.

North Korea - I've got a two-fer for you today. Given the first one, the second one is all the more surprising.

North Korea moved closer to relaunching its nuclear arms program, announcing that it wants to reactivate the facility that produced its atomic bomb and banning U.N. inspectors from the site. Despite the gloomy implications of North Korea's moves, they could be a negotiating ploy: The year needed to start its reprocessing plant could be used to wrest more concessions from the regime's interlocutors. My initial reaction would have been to say that this is a dangerous game for North Korea to be playing. And then I read this...

The Bush administration looks poised to provisionally remove North Korea from the State Department's terrorism blacklist (this according to a report from the Washington Post). The move would be an effort to keep a nuclear disarmament pact with North Korea from falling apart. North Korea deployed more than 10 missiles on its west coast apparently for an imminent test launch. Interesting, wouldn't you say. Now here's the part I don't get. Apparently, North Korea decided to announce its intention to reactivate its nuclear arms plant after the State Department made this announcement. I'm like totally confused.

Kosovo - Serbia's neighbors Montenegro and Macedonia recognized Kosovo in a blow to Belgrade's efforts to counter the secession of its former province. Montenegro and Macedonia were the only two former Yugoslav republics that ended their union with Serbia peacefully. I bet Serbia isn't too friendly with these guys now. Serbia recalled ambassadors from all countries that recognized Kosovo's February 17 declaration of independence, but decided to reinstate ambassadors to all countries, more than 40 in total, including the United States. Well, suppose that is a capitulation of sorts. Plus, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to see that Kosovo is a lost cause for Serbia. It will be interesting to see how the Georgia-South Ossetia situation plays out.

What Caught My Eye Today

Economy - In a rare coordinated move, the Federal Reserve and other major central banks from around the world slashed interest rates to prevent a mushrooming financial crisis from becoming a global economic meltdown. The Fed reduced its key rate from 2% to 1.5%. In Europe, which also has been hard hit by the financial crisis, the Bank of England cut its rate by half a point to 4.5% and the European Central Bank sliced its rate by half a point to 3.75%. The central banks of China, Canada, Sweden, and Switzerland also cut rates. Anyone want to hazard a guess as to how well this move was received? Overseas markets tumbled on worries that the move wouldn't immediately help ease the pain from the financial crisis. The major U.S. indexes moved in and out of positive territory, before turning sharply lower in late trading and leaving the Dow Jones industrials down nearly 190 points. Reading between the lines here, I'd say the rate cuts didn't help much.

In related news...

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi said that a $150 billion economic stimulus plan is needed now because of the faltering economy and she may call the House into session after the election to pass it. Pelosi said that the stock market meltdown, which has caused an estimated $2 trillion loss from pension funds, was a factor in her recommendation for a second stimulus bill. The first relief plan sent out $600-$1,200 tax rebate checks to most individuals and couples this year. No offense intended, Congresswoman, but $150 billion is a far cry from $2 trillion. I believe your heart is in the right place, but how much do you really think this will help? Pelosi said a stimulus package would create jobs by investing in public works, increasing food stamps benefits and extending unemployment insurance for the long-term jobless. She said lawmakers need to "hunker down" and look closely at the federal budget for possible savings, and reconsider whether the U.S. can afford to fight "a war without end" in Iraq. Not sure if you were aware of this or not, but while the worldwide economy is imploding, Congress is on a break until after the November 4 election. It seems that they've decided they need to spend their time getting re-elected to jobs that they aren't doing very well. You just have to love democracy, don't ya?

2008 Presidential Race - So how about that debate last night? Were you as riveted by the proceedings as I was. The commentary from Politico.com suggests otherwise. With the country at one of its most interesting — not to mention terrifying — moments in a generation, John McCain and Barack Obama met in Nashville for what was surely one of the dullest and least satisfying presidential debates in memory. If you think that's a harsh assessment, you ain't seen nothing yet. How the hell did candidates manage to be so timid and uninspiring at a time when American troops are in two problematic wars, the world financial markets are in scary free fall and the Dow has lost 1,400 points since Oct. 1? This is a moment history rarely sees — and both men blew it. Ouch. Here is our appraisal of the factors behind the most disappointing presidential debate ever.

• The presidential debate commission’s rules are a scandal.
  The rules were so constraining, it raises the question: Why even put a moderator in the chair? Tom Brokaw threw up his hands from the outset, apologizing for the constraints he was under, which didn’t allow him to press on evasive answers or encourage a promising exchange. Amen to that. It's like spontaneity is a four-letter word or something.
• The candidates are stumped.
  With McCain and Obama, you have to print out the transcript and read carefully to fully appreciate how they glided past sharp questions. Or completely ignored them.
• There was no independent on the stage.
  An independent on the stage helps highlight — and, with luck — temper the major-party nominees’ usual instinct to pander or avoid telling hard truths about themselves. Yeah, instead we get to listen to the two major party candidates exaggerate the truth to make the other guy like bad. Newsflash, gentleman. Most of us don't give a darned about the character attacks you are launching against each other. Give me some plausible solutions that can make my lot in life better, and I promise you'll have my vote.
• Self-importance.
  Neither of them had especially appealing personalities. Self-deprecation seems not to come naturally to either one. The I-love-me quotient has rarely been higher in one of these debates. I couldn't agree more.

On the bright side, we only have to suffer through one more to this debates, one week from tonight.

Diplomacy - Here's a new approach at dealing with nations that don't see eye-to-eye with you...wine and dine them. The finance chiefs of the Group of Seven major industrial countries had invited Russia to dinner Friday, putting aside differences over its invasion of Georgia. I bet you thought I was kidding, didn't you? Russia was slammed by the United States and European members of the G7 for its August invasion of Georgia. Washington has also warned that Russia's actions threatened its participation in a number of global diplomatic, economic and security bodies, including the Group of Eight, and jeopardized Moscow's bid to join the World Trade Organization. I sure hope they don't put anything funny in the food. Having the Russian dude drop dead after dining with a bunch of Westerners probably wouldn't bode well for future diplomatic talks.

What Caught My Eye Today

Is it just me or does the economy seem to be dominating the headlines these days?

Wall Street - The misery worsened on Wall Street, with stocks piling on losses late in the session and bringing the two-day decline in the Dow Jones industrials to more than 875 points amid escalating worries about credit markets and the financial sector. The Dow lost more than 500 points and all the major indexes slid more than 5%. The Standard & Poor's 500 index saw its first close below 1,000 in 5 years. That's a shame. Maybe a different perspective would help put these losses in a better light. The market's paper loss for the session came to about $700 billion, as measured by the Dow Jones Wilshire 5000 Composite Index, which tracks 5,000 U.S. based companies' stocks. So far this month, the loss has come to about $2.2 trillion. Nope, I guess not.

Iceland - Now if you think things are bad in the U.S., think again. Iceland is on the brink of becoming the first "national bankruptcy" of the global financial meltdown. Dude, how does any entire country go bankrupt? Iceland has formidable international reach because of an outsized banking sector. The strategy gave Icelanders one of the world's highest per capita incomes. But now they are watching helplessly as their economy implodes — their currency losing almost half its value, and their heavily exposed banks collapsing under the weight of debts incurred by lending in the boom times. The country's top four banks now hold foreign liabilities in excess of $100 billion, debts that dwarf Iceland's gross domestic product of $14 billion. Oh, that's how. Well, now we know don't we. A full-blown collapse of Iceland's financial system would send shock waves across Europe, given the heavy investment by Icelandic banks and companies across the continent. Now that would be bad, because right now things are going so well in Europe.

2008 Presidential Race - As we go to press, the second presidential debate is airing. I'll give you an update on that tomorrow. For now, guess who made the headlines yet again? Yup, Governor Sarah Palin. For someone who doesn't like talking to the press, she sure is providing lots of material for the media. Republican vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin tells audiences the election is about the "truthfulness and judgment" needed to be president. But the Alaska governor often stretches the truth herself. Find me a politician who doesn't. I guess what makes Palin so newsworthy, is the grand scale upon which she chooses to broadcast her interpretation of "truthfulness and judgment". She has exaggerated the nature of Barack Obama's personal ties to a former 1960s radical and falsely claimed the Democratic presidential candidate plans to raise most people's taxes. Seriously, who actually believed that an 8 year old Obama was hanging out with radicals? She suggests Obama was disrespectful of U.S. soldiers when he said U.S. troops in Afghanistan were just "air-raiding villages and killing civilians." The partial quote is misleading. The Illinois senator said once, in August 2007, when pressing to send more troops to Afghanistan: "We've got to get the job done there and that requires us to have enough troops" so they aren't just "air-raiding villages and killing civilians." Well sure, if you're going to nit-pick a sound bite by providing the full context in which it was made, of course Palin is going to get screwed. Palin also pushed back against an Obama TV ad suggesting McCain's health care plan would force employers to drop coverage for millions. "Every middle class American family will have a $5,000 credit, tax credit, to buy the health care coverage that you choose and Barack Obama's calling that a tax," Palin said. Economists project McCain's plan would lead 20 million people to lose employer-sponsored insurance, while 21 million people would gain coverage through the individual market. So let me see if I've got this straight. When all is said and done, McCain's plan would result in a net gain of 1 million people with health care coverage. Of course, that doesn't mean that the folks who lose there employer-sponsored insurance will be able to get comparable coverage with their $5,000 credit, but if you listen carefully, McCain never said that it would.

One last story that has nothing to do with politics or the economy. I figure we could use a little break.

Nepal - Hindu and Buddhist priests chanted sacred hymns and cascaded flowers and grains of rice over a 3-year-old girl who was appointed a living goddess in Nepal. So like does this gig come with benefits? Wrapped in red silk and adorned with red flowers in her hair, Matani Shakya received approval from the priests and President Ram Baran Yadav in a centuries-old tradition. The new "kumari" or living goddess, was carried from her parents' home to an ancient palatial temple in the heart of the Nepali capital, Katmandu, where she will live until she reaches puberty and loses her divine status. Puberty really is a pain in the butt, ain't it? A panel of judges conducted a series of ancient ceremonies to select the goddess from several 2- to 4-year-old girls. The judges read the candidates' horoscopes and check each one for physical imperfections. The living goddess must have perfect hair, eyes, teeth and skin with no scars, and should not be afraid of the dark. As a final test, the living goddess must spend a night alone in a room among the heads of ritually slaughtered goats and buffaloes without showing fear. Wow. This is like totally harder than the American Idol auditions. Having passed all the tests, the child will stay in almost complete isolation at the temple, and will be allowed to return to her family only at the onset of menstruation when a new goddess will be named to replace her. Critics say the tradition violates both international and Nepalese laws on child rights. The girls often struggle to readjust to normal lives after they return home. Nepalese folklore holds that men who marry a former kumari will die young, and so many girls remain unmarried and face a life of hardship. Hey, no one said being a goddess was easy.

What Caught My Eye Today

Economy - Where to begin? Some many dimensions to this story...all bad...but so many dimensions. The government's $700 billion rescue triggering a fearful international sell-off as the U.S. began work on a plan that investors feared would be too little and too late to stave off a worldwide recession. Not exactly the market reaction I was hoping for. The Dow industrials plunged below the 10,000 level for the first time in four years, and at one point were down as much as 800 points before recovering to close with a loss of 370. All sectors — not just financial companies — were being sold off. Remember just last week, when a 777 point loss seemed bad? Now we're talking 800 and beyond. Top economists seemed at a loss for ways to stop the downward spiral. No kidding. A darkening recessionary cloud is spreading over a nation where two-thirds of the economy is derived from consumer spending and where there have been nine consecutive months of job losses. Funny thing about recessions. Turns out you have to be in one for two consecutive quarters before a recession can be officially declared. I'd say we're well on our way.

2008 Presidential Race - I seem to recall Governor Sarah Palin quipping, "What's the difference between a hockey mom and a pitbull? Lipstick." Who knew that she was actually serious about that. Sarah Palin expanded her attack on Barack Obama's character to include his relationship with an incendiary former pastor, Jeremiah Wright, as well as his ties to 1960s-era radical Bill Ayers.In her earlier attacks, Palin had said that Obama "pals around with terrorists." News reports pointed out that Obama was eight years old at the time of Weather Underground bombings and that the two men do not know each other well although they live in the same Chicago neighborhood. Well I for one am shocked. It's unfathomable to think that a guy who used to hang out with terrorist organizations when he was 8 years old is now running for President. Seriously, does Palin actually understand the junk she is spewing out? Meantime, a new poll showed that Palin's image has changed little with the public since last week's vice presidential debate, but views of her Democratic rival, Joe Biden, have improved. No kidding. A poll conducted over the weekend found that just over half of registered voters view Palin favorably and about four in 10 think she's qualified to be president, essentially unchanged from a week earlier, before her debate with Biden. Biden's positive image improved slightly to 63%, and those saying he's qualified to be president grew to 77%. You're telling me that 40% of voters would trust this broad in the White House? Wow.

China - China has abruptly canceled a series of military and diplomatic contacts with the United States to protest a planned $6.5 billion package of U.S. arms sales to Taiwan. That's a shame. The Chinese action will not stop the country's participation with the United States in international efforts over Iran's and North Korea's nuclear programs. That doesn't sound so bad. But it does include the cancellation of an upcoming U.S. visit by a senior Chinese general, other similar visits, port calls by naval vessels and the indefinite postponement of meetings on stopping the spread of weapons of mass destruction. Neither does that. Here's the one that does sting. China will also not participate in an exchange with the United States on humanitarian assistance and disaster relief that was to take place before the end of November. I'm not sure exactly how China draws the connection between arms sales to Taiwan and humanitarian efforts, but then again I usually rode in the short school bus. Beijing is furious with the U.S. decision to sell Taiwan the huge package of advanced weaponry, including 182 Javelin guided missile rounds and 20 launch units, 32 Harpoon missiles, 330 Patriot missiles and 30 Apache attack helicopters. China, which regards Taiwan as a renegade province, says the sale interferes with internal Chinese affairs and harms its national security. Seems like we've heard this song before--like, maybe from Russia when the U.S. decide to assist Georgia. And we all know how well that turned out.

Cancer - Most people over 75 should stop getting routine colon cancer tests, according to a government health task force. The government-appointed panel of independent medical experts concluded that the benefits of detecting and treating colon cancer decline after age 75 and the risks rise. Colonoscopy complications can include infection, perforated colon and reactions to sedatives. And let's not forget that other risk that tends to increase along with age...you know, death. Colon cancer is the country's second leading cancer killer. Nearly 50,000 Americans are expected to die of colorectal cancer this year. Screening to spot early cancer or precancerous growths has resulted in fewer deaths over the last two decades. Colonoscopy is considered the gold standard but it is not perfect. A long, thin tube with a small video camera is snaked through the large intestine to view the lining and any growths are removed. Speaking strictly for myself--and not being far off from the age range for having get this test done--I would have to say that having some dude shove a tube up my butt to take a video does not even remotely come close to the same vicinity of 'gold standard'. But as I said, I'm speaking only for myself.