What Caught My Eye Today

Midterm Elections - With most of the results in from last week's U.S. midterm elections, political pundits have shifted their focus from predictions to analyses. Personally, I think the results spoke for themselves...the Democratic party had a bad night and the Republican party had a good night. But let's have the experts have their say shall we? Voters shook up Congress in Tuesday's midterm election, stripping control of the House from Democrats to put Republicans in charge, and narrowing the Democratic majority in the Senate to just a few votes. After picking up more than 60 seats, the GOP now has its biggest House majority since 1946. What does the GOP landslide of 2010 mean? Here are five takes:

1. This was a vote against Obama. This is the third election in a row in which Americans have "kicked a political party out of power." The GOP will only face the same rebuke in two years unless they see that what voters really dislike is "overreaching" by either party.
   I have to agree with this one, in the same way that many of the votes that Obama got in 2008 could be viewed as votes against the previous administration. Not exactly a glowing endorsement of the GOP, but hey, a win is a win.
2. The Tea Party is for real.What was once a loose-knit "coalition of grass-roots libertarians and disaffected Republicans" is now a bona fide political force. Republicans could have won easily. So the Democrats have the Tea Party to thank for their enduring Senate majority.
   Ironic isn't it that the best friends the Democrats had in this election are the guys who are most ideologically opposed to them. Any way you look at it, moderates are quickly becoming an endangered species in Washington.
3. It really is the economy, stupid. Americans predictably took their fears about the economy into the voting booth. This was a horrible year "to be an incumbent of the ruling party," and there wasn't much Democrats could have done to change the math.
   The analysts really went out on a limb here. Of course, it's the economy! If you look a bit more closely at all of these analyses, they all pretty much point to the lousy economic conditions. What continues to fascinate me is that people continue to try and put the blame on one person or one party. This most recent economic downturn was most likely going to happen regardless of the policies put in place by President George W. Bush and likewise, the economy will eventually recover regardless of what President Barack Obama does. Sure, there are things that can be done to help or hinder the recovery, but the economy is going to bounce back...and eventually tank again....and eventually rebound (you see where I am going with this).
4. The fight over health-care reform has just begun. Democrats got burned over their health care bill. Exit polls found that 48% of voters want the reform law repealed. The GOP won't be able to "stop the law" outright, but with control of House committees they can raise a stink and drag the administration to Capitol Hill to "defend the law."
   This is an interesting analysis as well. No doubt that Democrats took a major hit on health care reform, but the same thing happened when Social Security created back in 1935. Some historians contend the Social Security Act was the cause of the Roosevelt Recession of 1937. Could you imagine a world without Social Security today? Well, actually...if you are my age, you better start warming up to the idea.
5. Voters do not know what they want. Voters are mad and scared and confused — about the economy, the atmosphere in Washington, and more. Two years after Bill Clinton's Democrats took their drubbing in 1994, everyone was declaring him dead--Clinton won re-election in a rout. If the economy turns around by 2012, Obama could be saved by "the swing," too.
   I take issue with this one. I know exactly what I want. Congress needs to learn what it means to compromise to achieve the greater good for the people that it represents. I fail to see how statements like the primary goal of the Senate minority leader is to make sure Obama does not get elected to a second term is going to help make my life any better.

Potpourri - You know me. My attention can be drawn to the most arcane factoids.

• Salaries - The President of the United States earns an annual salary of $400,000. By comparison, the Vice President earns $231,000; the Speaker of the House and Chief Supreme Court Justice both earn $223,500; and the Senate Majority and Minority leaders earn $193,400
  I suppose, depending on your perspective, these guys are either way overpaid or way underpaid. Either way, I don't see myself going into politics anytime soon.
• Apple - A $1,000 investment in Apple Stock 10 years ago would be worth $32,280 today, making it the best performing stock of the past decade.
  And if monkeys flew out of my butt ten years ago, I'd have made a killing on the carnival circuit.
• Business - From January 2009, when President Obama took office, through June 2010, corporate profits increased 62%, the strongest 18-month rise since the 1920s.
  Interesting that one of the criticisms of Barack Obama is that he is anti-business.

Baseball - Way to go, Giants! If it's all the same to you guys, let's not wait another 6 decades for the next World Series title. The Chicago Cubs have this "futility" thing down to a science already.

Veterans - Way to go, veterans! For all that you have done for your nation, everyday should be Veterans Day. I'm just saying.

What Caught My Eye Today

Baseball - I don't usually start of with sports headlines, but I'm making an exception this one time, what with my hometown team so close to winning its first title in more than 60 years. The San Francisco Giants outplayed the Texas Rangers beating the Rangers 4-0 last night to move within one win of the World Series championship. Not being a huge fan of baseball, I felt compelled to investigate just how historic it would be if the Giants manage to close the deal. One of the older baseball teams, the Giants have won the most games of any team in the history of American baseball, and any North American professional sports team. They have won 21 National League pennants and appeared in 18 World Series championships, both tied with rivals Los Angeles Dodgers for most in the league. The Giants have been invited to the World Series an NL record 19 times. The Giants played in New York City through the 1957 season, after which they moved west to California to become the San Francisco Giants. As the New York Giants, they won 14 pennants and 5 World Championships. The Giants have not won a World Championship since 1954, and have never done so in San Francisco, for the third-longest championship drought among MLB teams behind those of the Chicago Cubs and Cleveland Indians. The Giants have won 4 pennants in San Francisco, but have not managed to win a World Championship yet. Whew. I feel so much better now.

Infrastructure - One of the big concerns of both political parties in the U.S. is fixing the nation's infrastructure. Last year's American Recovery and Reinvestment Act set aside almost $72 billion for repairs and fresh infrastructure projects. According to the American Society of Civil Engineers, that's just a down payment on the $2.2 trillion that should be spent through 2014. Oh come on. Things cannot be that bad, can they?

• Aviation ($45 billion committed spending; $87 billion estimated need): The critical issue is to roll out the Next Generation Air Transportation System, which will move air traffic control from a ground based system to a satellite system.
  Seems like a waste of money to me. I say if 1960s technology is still working, why change it>
• Water ($140 billion committed; $255 billion needed): Leaking pipes lose 7 billion gallons of drinking water a day and many reservoirs, treatment plants and pumping stations are nearing the end of their "design life".
  Again, I don't see the big deal here. If we all just switched to booze, this water thing would be far less important.
• Energy ($34.5 billion committed; $75 billion needed): Demand for electricity has grown more than 25% since 1990 and some estimates suggest electric utilities may need as much as $1.5 trillion in investment by 2030.
  Maybe if we are drinking more booze we might not notice all those power shortages. I'm just saying.
• Roads and Bridges ($351.5 billion committed; $930 billion needed): More than 26% of U.S. bridges are either structurally deficient or obsolete.
  Seriously, I think drinking more could help here too. If we're too drunk to drive, then the need for all those roads and bridges wouldn't be so important, would it?

Potpourri - This edition has something for everyone.

• Population - As a result of low birth rates and the aging of the baby boom, the global population of children under 5 will drop by 49 million by 2050, while the population of people over 60 will grow by 1.2 billion.
  If everything goes according to plan and I don't get struck down by lightning or something like that, I will be one of those 1.2 billion geezers.
• Garlic - Most garlic sold in the U.S. comes from China, because it is less expensive to ship garlic thousands of miles than to grow it and harvest it in California.
  Well now, that just stinks.
• Salaries - The average financial industry employee earned slightly more than $100,000 in the first three months of 2010 while the average American worker earned $10,668 in the same period.
  Isn't it grand to see how well that financial bail out plan work out?
• Mobile phones - A bidder in Kuwait has paid $750,000 to reserve the eight-digit mobile phone number 5555-5555. "Vanity" mobile numbers are a popular form of conspicuous consumption among the wealthy in the Middle East. In 2006, a bidder in Qatar paid $2.7 million to reserve the number 666-6666.
  I'm at a loss for words on this one.

Fred's Note: GO GIANTS!!!

What Caught My Eye Today

Elections - US voters have a lot of decisions to make in next week's elections. Some 160 questions have been placed on statewide ballots, including 42 "citizen initiatives," and voters will face scores more from their municipal or county governments. Here is a sampling of some of the initiatives that will be appearing on ballots next Tuesday. I'm limited to voting only on the California measures, but that doesn't stop me from having an opinion on the rest of them. The oil industry funded a 3.6 million dollar initiative to suspend California's greenhouse gas emission limits until after the state's unemployment rate drops to 5.5 percent or lower and stays there for a full year. That's a no vote from me. 5.5% unemployment? Yeah, like that's ever going to happen. Retailer Costco and two liquor wholesalers spent 3.1 million dollars on measures which would allow private retailers to sell liquor and shut down state-run state liquor stores in Washington state. Cheaper booze? In this economy, hell yes. The American Beverage Industry broke a new record for ballot initiative funding with a nearly 17 million dollar effort to eliminate a tax on bottled water, soda and candy in Washington state. I'm leaning no on this one. The Humane Society is behind a measure to tighten regulation of dog breeders and make "puppy mill cruelty" a crime in Missouri. My dogs are my kids; I'm a yes...twice. Billionaire George Soros donated a million dollars to an effort to fully legalize -- and tax -- marijuana in California. I'm on the fence, but leaning toward yes. Voters in Arizona, Colorado and Oklahoma are considering measures to block the implementation of the Obama administration's sweeping health care reform. And while they are at it, maybe the should repeal some other blatantly socialist programs that have existed for years, you know, like Social Security and Medicare. There is just one "culture war" initiative on the ballot this year: a move to amend Colorado's constitution to define the term "person" so that legal rights begin "from the moment of fertilization" and abortion becomes murder. Given the sensitivity of this issue, and that fact that I respect people's rights to have opinions different than mine, I am keeping my big mouth shut on this one (though those of you who know me, probably have a pretty good idea of how I would vote on this).

Sesame Street - I saw a headline today suggesting that Bert from Sesame Street may be close to coming out of the closet (seriously, this qualifies as news?). Imagine my surprise, when I discover this is just one of several urban legends surrounding the beloved children's television series. Here are just a few.

• In 1990, puppeteer Jim Henson's death spurred rumors that Ernie would be "killed off" in the show. Rumor said that he would be either killed by a vehicle, AIDS, or cancer. A spokesperson for the series was quoted as saying "Ernie is not dying of AIDS; Ernie is not dying of leukemia. Ernie is a puppet.
  It's sort of difficult to believe that a spokesperson was needed to remind the public of that little fact.
• In 2002, Sesame Workshop announced that a character with HIV would be introduced to Takalani Sesame, the South African version of the show. The character, Kami, contracted HIV from a blood transfusion as an infant. Many groups wrongly presumed that the American version would be getting a "gay Muppet".
  Nope, no homophobia there.
• In 2005, rumor began to spread that Cookie Monster would be replaced with Veggie Monster. As a result of a more health-focused message, the producers of Sesame Street began to incorporate fruit and vegetables into Cookie Monster's diet besides just cookies. Sesame Street assured its viewers that although Cookie Monster consumes cookies, he also eats fruit and vegetables but will always retain the long-loved name of Cookie Monster.
  You don't mess with a national treasure like the Cookie Monster. No sir, you do not.

Airlines - Well now, this is interesting. It appears that there is a survey that measures the meanest airlines. The Airline Quality Rating (AQR) Report measures 18 U.S. air carriers based on surveys of airline industry experts, with positive and negative values assigned to different elements in airline quality. Several common complaint areas were factored in, including on-time arrival, mishandled baggage, delays and involuntary denied boardings. This should be good.

• #5 - US Airways: While it improved 5% percent in passenger satisfaction, US Airways is cited as having the rudest flight attendants and serving the worst food.
  In fairness, to US Airways, it's not like passengers are forced to eat this stuff. We absolutely have the right to keep our credit cards in our pockets and just starve to death.
• #4 - American Airlines: American has had frequent incidents of mishandled baggage with an average of 4.07 reports per 1,000 passengers, the worst rating among the major airlines in the study. American ranks among the worst for having the rudest flight attendants and the worst food.
  Tisk-tisk. They get you to your destination, don't they?
• #3 - Alaska Airlines: Alaska Airlines has a high number of mishandled baggage reports (3.98 incidents per 1,000 passengers) but did manage 88% percent of its flights having on-time arrivals.
  Maybe that high on-time percentage has something to do with the fact that half our bags don't make it onto the friggin' plane.
• #2 - United Airlines: United joins American Airlines and US Airways as one of the three worst airlines for meals and rude flight attendants. In addition, the Air Travel Consumer Reports places this airline second in consumer complaints), averaging 1.82 per 100,000 embarkations.
  If I'm not mistaken, United and US Air are in the middle of a merger. Lucky us.
• #1 - Delta Airlines: Delta has had the largest drop in passenger satisfaction, was number one in delays for major airlines (78 percent of flights arriving on time), first in consumer complaints (averaging 2.23 per 100,000 embarkations), and has some of the highest baggage fees in the industry.
  Give these guys credit. They don't limit themselves to being crappy at just one thing.

Now, if you weren't depressed enough about the state of air travel, consider this. These five airlines account for nearly 50% of all U.S. domestic travel. Happy flying.

What Caught My Eye Today

Fred's note: Fear not, loyal reader, I live. My, but a lot has transpired since we last spoke. I won't bother to touch upon everything that has gone on since my last post--really, what's the point? Plus there is so much going on right now to amuse us.

World Roundup - Despite my long lay off, the headlines look remarkably the same.

• "Indonesia's twin disasters kill more than 300"
  For those of you keeping track, this time around Indonesia got hit by a double whammy, a tsunami and a volcano. Poor bastards.
• "Government delaying 4,300 West Bank apartments"
  Nice to see those peace talks between the Israelis and Palestinians are going so well.
• "Wall St falls in stimulus rethink"
  What's this I hear, the economy still sucks? Wow, who saw that coming?
• "Laura Bush calls Palin an ‘effective’ campaigner"
  It wouldn't be a campaign season in the U.S. without at least one mention of Sarah Palin.

Politics - Unlike most countries, where the election process consists of a few weeks of campaigning, then the election itself, followed by months of re-counts, the United States has seen fit to make elections the new national pass time. The big headline for the upcoming mid-term election--for those of you outside the U.S., this basically means that the office of President is not being contested--is the polling that strongly suggests that the Democratic party will lose its majority in the House of Representatives and possibly the Senate. Buried in this, is the historical fact that the party in power after a Presidential election, almost always loses a significant number of seats in mid-term elections--but I digress. At any rate, being the statistics addict that I am, I've added a projection analysis of how the federal government might look like after the elections next week.

Sex - An auction for the much-sought-after domain name sex.com was canceled after three creditors filed a petition forcing the owner into bankruptcy. According to the petition, the creditors have a combined $10.1 million claim. The owner paid a reported $12 million to $14 million for the domain name in 2006, but the company was unable to repay the debt. Lemme see if I've got this straight; this brain trust could not figure out a way to make money off "sex"? Just how stupid are they? The lender ordered the foreclosure sale in which there was "considerable interest" in the domain name sale. You don't say? I'm curious...what sort of individual or group might have an interest in, you know, "sex"? One of the interested parties was People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, which sent a letter to the lender's lawyer asking him to urge his client to donate the domain name to them. Males who consume meat, eggs and dairy products often suffer sexual side effects, according to PETA. "Donating the domain to us is a win-win situation for everybody: Your client will enjoy an enormous tax write-off, and people will learn how to help spice up their love lives while helping animals," wrote PETA. There is some validity to this line of reasoning, if you think about it. Maybe "sex" doesn't appeal to everyone (though for the life of me, I cannot think of a good reason), but who wouldn't just melt at the sight of a cuddly, wuddly puppy dog? The Sex.com site front page features links to things like "love horoscopes," "story of the day," "youtube video of the day" and "classifieds." Speaking strictly for myself, I just go there for the articles.

Baseball - If you are not a resident or former resident of either the Bay Area or Texas, this probably won't matter much to you. That said...THE GIANTS WIN THE PENNANT! THE GIANTS WIN THE PENNANT! THE GIANTS WIN THE PENNANT! Yeah, yeah. Big deal, what with it having been 8 long years since they won their last one. I'm much more intrigued by the fact that whoever wins this year's World Series, the San Francisco Giants or the Texas Ranger, it will be the first title for either team in their current city. The Giants have not won a title since they re-located from New York back in 1957 and for the Rangers, this is their first appearance in the big show in their 49 years of existence. Still, being a Bay Area native, I have to pull for the Giants, which will win the series 4 games to 3.

What Caught My Eye Today

Oil Spill - For those of you keeping track, we are up to day 100 since the BP oil disaster in the Gulf of Mexico. BP managed to cap the damaged oil well on day 87 and is close to completing drilling of the relief well to permanently seal the gaping hole.

Cuba - I had to read this story twice, because I was certain that I had misread part of it. See if you agree. In a rare, tacit acknowledgment that something is awry with government policy, Communist Party officials announced that up to a million jobs were to be cut from the public payroll. Full employment has long been a cornerstone of Cuba's system and almost everyone works in some capacity for the government. But Cuba has been carrying a massive budget deficit and can no longer afford to pay the one in five state workers who do practically nothing. All Cubans will continue to receive free health care and education, as well as subsidized utilities, rent and food. Okay, so did you pick up on it? Maybe I'm taking the definition of worker a bit to literally. I was under the impression that a worker is someone who performs work. So you can understand my confusion when Cuban officials report that 20% of its workforce doesn't actually do any work.

Suriname - We have another first time appearance on the blog, this time from South America. Honestly, how many of you would have picked the right continent? I guessed Africa, myself. Suriname's parliament has elected a convicted drug trafficker who is currently on trial for multiple murders as its new president. Nice. Admittedly, I suppose it is a matter of perspective. I know people who seriously contemplated emigrating out of the United States, after we elected a Democrat to the White House. Desi Bouterse seized power in the former Dutch colony in 1980 and 1990 through military takeovers. He is presently on trial for the 1982 murders of 15 political opponents. Bouterse is one of Suriname's most popular--and wealthiest--politicians and recently compared himself to Nelson Mandela saying he was being persecuted because he "fought for the poor." Dude, I'm pretty sure you are on trial for killing 15 people. Then again, I'm no legal expert. Maybe murder is okay where you come from, but fighting for the oppressed is a big no-no.

Vatican - Let's see what pearls of wisdom have come out of this neck of the woods. The Vatican has revised its rules for disciplining priests accused of molesting children, doubling the statute of limitations for bringing allegations and calling pedophilia a "grave crime". How big of them. Of course, this might have been more warmly received if it included guidelines compelling bishops to report such abuses. Still, the Catholic Church is historically slow to act, so this does represent a rather significant step for the it to take. I am, however, at a complete loss to explain this next bit. The revised rules also list the ordination of women as a "grave crime" subject to the same procedures and punishment as sex abuse. Come again? I fully admit that I am not the sharpest tool in the shed, but I cannot fathom how these guys can compare the possibility of a female priest being a reprehensible as the molestation of a child by a priest.

Progress - In most contexts, progress is usually associated with something desirable, but is it really? I wonder. Consider the following measures of progress:

• Active blogs in 2000: 12,000; in 2010: 141 million
  Including this one.
• Daily Google Searches in 2000: 100 million; in 2010: 2 billion
  Big deal. I still cannot find what I'm looking for.
• Reality TV shows in 2000: 4; in 2010: 320
  Lucky us.
• Books published in 2000: 282,242; in 2010: 1,052,803
  Sweet. More crap that I will never get around to reading.
• Daily letters mailed in 2000: 207.88 billion; in 2010: 175.67 billion
  Really? That many people still use stamps? Fascinating.
• Daily emails in 2000: 12 billion; in 2010: 247 billion
  I'm willing to speculate that most of those are unsolicited or unwanted.
• Text messages in 2000: 400,000; in 2010: 4.5 billion
  Okay, this one is easy. I'd be willing to bet money that 99.99% of those are unsolicited or unwanted.
• Daily newspapers in 2000: 1,480; in 2010: 1,302
  In fairness, I'm not sure how much news these newspapers actually contain anymore. I find editorials and ads don't warrant the purchase.
• iTunes Downloads in 2000: 0; in 2010: 10 billion
  Kind of makes you wish you had loaded up on that Apple stock ten years ago, doesn't it?

No doubt that progress has been made, but is this the progress we wanted? I wonder.

What Caught My Eye Today

Fred's Note: You might need to bear with me for the next few days. I quit Mafia Wars cold turkey this weekend and could quite possibly suffer from severe withdrawals. On the bright side, my actual Friends and Family might see fit to unblock me now that I'm no longer bombarding them with all those annoying notifications. And now, to the headlines.

Afghanistan - We kick off today's posting with a shocking revelation. The war in Afghanistan might not be going as well as we thought. Wikileaks (click here) released more than 91,000 classified Afghan war documents, one of the largest unauthorized disclosures in military history. So like, does that mean there was one even bigger than this one? Yikes. The leak threatened to create deeper doubts about the war at home, cause new friction with Pakistan over allegations about its spy agency and raise questions around the world about Washington's own ability to protect military secrets. The White House called the disclosures "alarming." I love how the release of 91,000 secret documents is classified as a leak, sort of in the same vein as that the millions of barrels of oil gushing into the Gulf of Mexico is called a spill. And who isn't comforted by the fact that the White House finds this whole episode "alarming." 91,000 secrets, people! I'm thinking you might want to be more than just "alarmed." Despite the furor over the publication of the reports on the WikiLeaks whistleblower website, the information did not reveal any fundamentally new problems in the war effort. Well that's a relief. It's good to know that even with all this noise, we still have no clue how to bring this war to a successful conclusion.

OIl - BP is jettisoning CEO Tony Hayward, whose verbal blunders made the oil giant's image even worse as it struggled to contain the Gulf oil spill, and will assign him to a key job in Russia. The move was being made more than three months after an oil rig explosion set off the spill and less than two weeks after a temporary cap finally stopped the oil from leaking. Boyfriend is getting shipped off to Siberia. You read about this sort of thing, but assume it to be hyperbole. I guess sometimes hyperbole rings true. The job suggests BP still holds more faith in Hayward than much of the U.S. public and political establishment do. Analysts consider the Russian venture one of BP's crown jewels; it accounts for a quarter of the company's production. Yeah, whatever. Dude is still going to be freezing his knickers off in Siberia.

Traffic - Every once and awhile, we Americans need a reminder that things could always be worse...even these days. This particular reminder comes in the form of crappy commutes. Turns out, our traffic jams pale in comparison to some of the big boys. IBM recently released its first global Commuter Pain study which surveyed 8,192 motorists in 20 cities on six continents. IBM compiled the results of the survey into an Index that ranks the emotional and economic toll of commuting in each city on a scale of one to 100, with 100 being the most onerous. The index is comprised of 10 issues: 1) commuting time, 2) time stuck in traffic, agreement that: 3) price of gas is already too high, 4) traffic has gotten worse, 5) start-stop traffic is a problem, 6) driving causes stress, 7) driving causes anger, 8) traffic affects work, 9) traffic so bad driving stopped, and 10) decided not to make trip due to traffic. The cities scored as follows: Beijing: 99, Mexico City: 99, Johannesburg: 97, Moscow: 84, New Delhi: 81, Sao Paolo: 75, Milan: 52, Buenos Aires: 50, Madrid: 48, London: 36, Paris: 36, Toronto: 32, Amsterdam: 25, Los Angeles: 25, Berlin: 24, Montreal: 23, New York: 19, Houston: 17, Melbourne: 17, Stockholm: 15. Now if you were paying attention, you would have noticed that the U.S. managed to place just 3 cities in this list, with Los Angeles getting top honors in 14th place.

Liechtenstein - I'm a bit late on this story, but its still worthy of mention if for no other reason than for the set of stones Snoop Dogg has for even attempting to pull this off. Rapper, Snoop Dogg, directly approached the government of Liechtenstein with a request to use the whole nation as a video set. Officially known as the Principality of Liechtenstein is about 61.7 square miles in total, and sports a population of 35,000. It is renowned for featuring some of the most picturesque nature in the region. And maybe it's just me, but doesn't the name make you think of a really good German beer? Snoop sought the country out because he needed tons of outdoor space to shoot the new clip for a currently unknown song. Snoop’s request was turned down, only because officials didn’t have enough time to properly get things in order to meet the rapper’s timetable. They actually gave serious consideration to this? Dude, Snoop is da man, straight up.

Potpourri - More headlines from the category of "Seriously???"

• Scotland - Diageo, the maker of Johnnie Walker whisky, has dedicated 2 million barrels of whisky to its employee pension plan. The whisky valued at $645 million, will ensure that retirees get a check even if the company were to go bankrupt.
  Surely, you can appreciate the genius at work here. Even if the price of whisky were to plummet, would the beneficiaries really care? They could always drink themselves stupid and never know the difference. Brilliant, I say.
• Oil - Oil production is among the most heavily subsidized businesses, with tax breaks available at virtually every stage of the exploration and extraction process. BP was getting a tax deduction of $225,000 a day for renting the Deepwater Horizon drilling rig.
  Lemme see here--$225,000 times 84 days that the rig was spewing crude into the Gulf of Mexico--.that's a cool $18.9 million. Not a bad haul for totally hosing hundreds of square miles of the local ecosystem. And honestly, what is the deal with all these tax breaks? Exxon Mobil and Chevron cleared $69 billion in profits--profits, not revenue--in 2009. Do those guys really need tax breaks to help them keep the lights on?
• Alcohol - In the Bible Belt, One in nine counties in the U.S still prohibits the sale of alcohol, but in Texas, Tennessee and Kansas, dozens of "dry" counties have voted to go "wet" in recent years.
  A dip in moral values? I think not (that ship sailed a long, long time ago). No, I'm thinking the prospect of taxing the piss out of booze to fill county coffers was incentive enough.
• History - 26% of Americans didn't know that the country won its independence from Great Britain. Some of them named a different country, ranging from France to China to Mexico.
  I'm not sure which is more tragic here: the fact that 26% of American didn't know or that I'm surprised the percentage isn't higher.

What Caught My Eye Today

Philanthropy - Billionaires Warren Buffett and Bill Gates have launched what is believed to be the biggest fundraising drive in the history of philanthropy. They are urging other American billionaires to donate half their net worth to charity. Buffett and Gates are initially targeting the richest 400 Americans who have a combined net worth of $1.2 trillion (that's with a "T", in case you missed it), making for a potential charitable windfall of $600 billion. Gates has endowed the world's largest charitable foundation, to which Buffett has contributed $6.4 billion. Don't get me wrong. I think this is a really cool idea. It's just the skeptic in me that wonder just how generous this billionaires are likely to be with their net worth. I'm thinking that it was motivation to accumulate wealth that sort of got these folks into the billionaire's club in the first place.

Mexico - These guys are having quite the run with wacky headlines. What up India? Are you going to take this lying down or what? The Mexican stat of Nuevo Leon has put out a manual to train teachers and students how to respond if drug gangs attack a school. "When an explosion is heard," the manual says, "students should crouch with their chests to the ground and stay away from windows." Good advice. They could also take that time to make their peace with God...just in case. The manual also advises avoiding eye contact with gunmen. Like children don't have enough worries. Now they have to practice drills to avoid getting shot at in the classroom.

South Africa - Squeamish guys might just want to skip this item. It ain't pretty. South African are trying out a new anti-rape device, a female condom lined with hooks. The Rape-aXe, which is inserted like a tampon, has rows of hooks, which attach to a man's ... I think you get the idea here. The man cannot remove the device without a doctor's help. South Africa has the highest rate of rate in the world. A 2009 report by the nation's Medical Research Council found that 28% of South African men surveyed had committed rape. It's a simple concept, guys--No mean no. This device might seem a little harsh, but I have no sympathy...not even a little bit...for some dude that tries to get away with something like this. Serves the scumbag right.

Soccer - The knock out phase began this past Saturday and with it the hopes and dreams of many soccer fans. With only two slots remaining in the quarter finals here are the latest headlines:

• If you are a U.S., time to start thinking about Brazil 2014. Ghana took out the U.S. 2-1 in extra time.
• If you are an English fan, EPL starts in another 6 weeks. England got taken out by Germany 4-1, no thanks to a ridiculous wave off of what was clearly a goal for England. Germany dominated in the second half, but one wonders what would have happened if the score was tied at half time...as it should have been.
• Newsflash #1: The South American confederation is wicked good. All 5 teams advanced to the knockout round. Only 4 remain but that's due largely to the fact that Brazil took on Chile in the Round of 16 and only one team could advance.
• Newsflash #2: The North American confederation is not so wicked good. None of the 3 teams from this confederation are still in the tournament. Honduras failed to advance out of group play, and the U.S. and Mexico both lost in the round of 16. Surprise, surprise, Mexico lost to Argentina.
• Finally, how many blown calls need to be made by the referees before some technology is introduced to the game. I appreciate tradition, but when an obvious error is made and the technology exists to correct it, why wouldn't you use it?

My winning percentage is getting dangerously close to 50%. I now stand at winning percentage of 46% (25 of 54). Clearly an indication that I am due for a major fall in the next couple of days..

My picks for advancing out of group play ended at 11 for 16:

• Group A: South Africa, Mexico, Uruguay, France
• Group B: Argentina, Nigeria, South Korea, Greece
• Group C: England, United States, Algeria, Slovenia
• Group D: Germany, Australia, Serbia, Ghana
• Group E: Netherlands, Denmark, Japan, Cameroon
• Group F: Italy, Paraguay, New Zealand, Slovakia
• Group G (aka Group of Death): Brazil, North Korea, Ivory Coast, Portugal
• Group H: Spain, Switzerland, Honduras, Chile

My picks for the Round of 16 are also doing pretty well, with only one loss so far:

• Uruguay vs. South Korea
• United States vs. Ghana
• Germany vs. England
• Argentina vs. Mexico
• Netherlands vs. Slovakia
• Brazil vs. Chile
• Paraguay vs. Japan
• Spain vs. Portugal

What Caught My Eye Today

Fred's Note: In my humble opinion, today will go down as one of the most unforgettable sporting days of all time.

Soccer - It's win or go home time in group play. Half of the Round of 16 match ups are set, and...surprise, surprise...some of those match ups are not exactly what the experts were expecting. Here are the latest highlights from the past couple of days:

• You have to feel for host nation South Africa and Australia for winning their final matches but are out of the tournament based on goal differential.
• Regardless of what transpires the rest of the tournament, it will be hard to top France as the biggest disappointment of the 2010 World Cup. The 2006 World Cup runners up managed a single point in group play.
• England and the United States pulled out all the stops to come out of Group C in dramatic fashion. Surprisingly, the U.S. came out as group winners based on number of goals scored and will avoid having to face Germany in the next round.

My winning percentage continues to creep back into the realm of "just lousy." Through today's play I have a winning percentage of 40% (16 of 40).

My picks for advancing out of group play are faring a tad bit better. I'm 5 out of 8 so far:

• Group A: South Africa, Mexico, Uruguay, France
• Group B: Argentina, Nigeria, South Korea, Greece
• Group C: England, United States, Algeria, Slovenia
• Group D: Germany, Australia, Serbia, Ghana
• Group E: Netherlands, Denmark, Japan, Cameroon
• Group F: Italy, Paraguay, New Zealand, Slovakia
• Group G (aka Group of Death): Brazil, North Korea, Ivory Coast, Portugal
• Group H: Spain, Switzerland, Honduras, Chile

Tennis - What is it about Wimbledon that makes for such dramatic tennis?The longest match in tennis history was suspended for darkness at 59-59 in the fifth set at Wimbledon. The first-round match between 23rd-seeded John Isner of the United States, and qualifier Nicolas Mahut of France was halted due to darkness. It already had been suspended for the same reason yesterday after the fourth set. They have been playing for a total of exactly 10 hours; 7 hours, 6 minutes in the fifth set alone, enough to break the full-match record of 6:33, set at the 2004 French Open. Damn. What simply amazes me is that these guys played a total of 45 games in their first four sets and came pretty close to tripling that number in the fifth set alone. I say again...Damn. This actually fouls up the schedule for the men's draw a bit, but should be that big of a deal. I have a hard time envisioning either one of these guys having much left in the tank for a second round match.

What Caught My Eye Today

Mexico - Before we begin, I just want to state for the record, I didn't make any of this stuff up. A Mexican matador was arrested and charged with breach of contract after he got scared and ran out of the ring in the middle of a bullfight. Dude got arrested for being chicken? Wow. The matador had been badly gored a few months ago. In his latest match, when the bull charged toward him, he dropped his cape and leaped over the wall, drawing boos from the crowd. Police release him after he paid a fine. He has since announced his retirement Here's my favorite part. In announcing his retirement, the matador said, "There are some things you must be aware of about yourself. I didn't have the ability, I didn't have the balls, this is not my thing." You have to applaud the guy for so eloquently stating the obvious.

Potpourri - Time for another edition from the files of "so bizarre it must be true.

• Minnesota - The Minnesota Department of Human Rights has outlawed "Ladies Night," ruling that offering women discounted drinks is a form of gender discrimination.
  I find it fascinating that this brain trust fails to acknowledge that it is usually men who are paying for those drinks, so the real victims here are...yes, the men who are supposedly getting discriminated against.
• Michigan - A Michigan woman without health insurance shot herself to get medical attention. The woman said she injured her shoulder a month earlier and without insurance, "it would have to be life threatening for the hospital would treat her; so she shot herself in the shoulder. Doctors at the hospital treated the gunshot wound while ignoring the previous injury.
  That just ain't right.
• Britain - A British survey found that 84% of pregnant women had not been offered a seat on full trains. According to researchers, there are now so many obese women that fellow commuters can't be sure if the standee is pregnant or just fat.
  Okay, I stand corrected. Girlfriend in Michigan was just trying to skirt the system. This, on the other hand, just ain't right.
• Florida - A Florida was prohibited from visiting a client in prison when her underwire bra set off a metal detector. She removed the bra, but guards then refused her entry because her bralessness violated the prison dress code.
  Wrong again, I see. Alright, forget Annie Oakley in Michigan and those weight challenged slobs in Britain (It's called manners people. It doesn't matter if they are pregnant or overweight. If they look like they are about to collapse, offer up your seats, you lazy bastards!). This, clearly just ain't right.

Bangladesh - The government of Bangladesh has ordered factories to shut down and shopping malls to close every evening during the World Cup so that there will be enough electricity available for people to watch the soccer matches on television. It's always comforting to see evidence that government has its priorities in order. The order came after a power outage interrupted the transmission of games last weekend, prompting hundreds of angry fans to attack power transfer stations. Can you imagine how bad things would have been if Bangladesh had actually qualified for the World Cup?

Speaking of the the World Cup...

World Cup - We're down to the last set of group play games. Here are some highlights from the second set of group play games.

• What up with Europe? England, France, Germany, Italy and Spain all have to win (and in some cases need lots and lots of help) to advance to the knockout stage. Only the Netherlands have locked up a spot in the next round.
• What up with New Zealand and Switzerland? Apparently, someone forgot to tell they guys that they weren't supposed to be contending for spots in the final 16. It is conceivable that New Zealand, not Italy, will advance out of Group F.
• Cameroon and North Korea are the only 2 teams that have been officially eliminated from the World Cup.
• Along with the Netherlands, Argentina and Brazil have locked up spots in the next round.
• For the United States it is pretty simple--win its last game against Algeria and the Americans advance. Lose or tie and the World Cup is pretty much over for the Stars and Stripes.

My winning percentage bottomed out last Friday (29%; 5 for 17) and appears to be ticking back up. Through today's play (which I happened to pick all 3 winners), my winning percentage is up to 34% (11 for 32).

What Caught My Eye Today

Oil Spill - Have you ever wondered what it would be like for the leader of the free world to "kick someone's ass"? Me too. After intense negotiations, BP bowed to President Barack Obama's demand for a $20 billion fund to compensate victims of the disastrous oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico. The humbled chairman of the giant British company apologized to the American people for the horrendous accident. Way to "lay your thang down", Mr. Prez. BP is to pay $5 billion a year over the next four years to set up the $20 billion fund. Obama emphasized that the $20 billion was "not a cap" and that BP would pay more if necessary. Also, civil penalties can be levied against the company under a variety of environmental protection laws, including fines of up to $1,100 under the Clean Water Act for each barrel of oil spilled. You can almost hear the lawyers tripping over each other trying to be the first to file those class action suits. The $20 billion amounts to somewhere between $169 and $313 per gallon of oil spilled so far, based on calculations that the federal government has made. So far, the oil spill has dumped between 63.8 million and 118.4 million gallons into the Gulf. In related news, analysts predict that the price of a gallon of gasoline is expected to rise slightly from around $3 a gallon to somewhere between $169 and $313 in the next 12 months.

Zimbabwe - Zimbabwe's leaders launched a program on to rewrite the nation's constitution ahead of an election planned next year. Odd. I wonder what brought this on. It couldn't possibly have anything to due with the zillion percent inflation rate. President Robert Mugabe, who has been in power in Zimbabwe since 1980, opposes that plan. This one...not so odd. Mugabe has never had much use for the needs of the people that he governs. The program to write a new constitution has been plagued by delays, bickering between coalition partners and shortages of cash to deploy lawmakers and officials to some 2,860 meeting centers across the country. And if that isn't complicating matters enough, there is this... Human rights groups and the independent Zimbabwe Election Support Network reported accusations of intimidation by Mugabe party militants to muzzle contributions by ordinary people to the constitutional debate. I see. Mugabe is okay with the program starting (sort of), he just won't allow any contributions to actually fund it. Considering this is Mugabe we're talking about here, again...not so odd.

France - For months, France's ruling conservatives have been shouting down even mere mention of the a-word. France would not imperil its timid economic recovery by applying austerity policies that other debt-concerned countries have adopted to cut deficits. Of course they wouldn't. Today the Labor Ministry announced that that the government will gradually add time to the current retirement age of 60 until the legal reference of 62 years is reached in 2018. Unable to find ways to cut debt painlessly, the government is now planning to continue rolling out what would be - and in fact are - called austerity measures in other parts of Europe. The government will also raise income taxes on wealthier workers and on capital gains by 1%. Where I come from, if it sounds like an austerity program, looks like an austerity program, walks like an austerity program, and feels like an austerity program...most likely it is, in fact, an austerity program. France is looking for $123 billion in savings to reduce its current 8% budget deficit to 3% by 2013. Best of luck, guys.

World Cup - My prognostication skill have really hit their stride now. Here's the latest as the first set of games in group play concluded earlier today.

• Spain lost its opening game to Switzerland in Group H. Spain is picked by many as a favorite to win the whole thing.
• Brazil beat North Korea 2-1 in Group G. Notable if for no other reason that Brazil, ranked #1 in the world was held scoreless by #105 ranked North Korea for almost an hour.
• Ghana in Group D is still the only one of the six African nations in the tournament to record a victory.
• The second set of group play games got underway with Uruguay beating host nation South Africa, 3 - 0. Things don't look to good for South Africa advancing to the next round.

My winning percentage so far: 29% (5 for 17).

What Caught My Eye Today

Oil Spill - For those of you keeping count, we are up to Day 57 of the Gulf of Mexico oil spill that began with the April 20 explosion and fire on the drilling rig Deepwater Horizon. In a newly optimistic tone, President Barack Obama promised that "things are going to return to normal" along the stricken Gulf Coast and the region's fouled waters will be in even better shape than before the catastrophic BP oil spill. Whew. That's a relief. I was really starting to worry that the Gulf Coast would be hosed for years. So what's the plan, Mr. Prez? The pledge was reminiscent of George W. Bush's promise to rebuild the region "even better and stronger" than before Hurricane Katrina in 2005. Bush could not make good on that promise, and Obama did not spell out how he would fulfill his. I see. There is no plan, just promise. Lovely. In related developments, the White House said it had wrested apparent agreement from BP PLC to set up an independent, multi-billion dollar compensation fund for people and businesses suffering from the spill's effects. This is a pre-cursor to the beat down, Obama has planned for later this week, when he meets face-to-face for the first time with BP executives. I'm guessing he's figured out whose ass he plans on kicking.

Afghanistan - Talk about hitting the mother lode... Geological surveys discovered large quantities of iron and copper as well as valuable deposits of lithium in Afghanistan that may be worth more than a trillion dollars. Lucky bastards. The discovery of mineral wealth will not provide an overnight solution. It would take years to build a large-scale mining industry and unless there is peace, it will be hard for investors to guarantee security. Pish posh. What's a few bullets compared with a trillion dollars. ONE TRILLION! That's a one followed by like a zillion zeroes. With so much more to fight for, it may also make a peace deal harder to forge. If Afghanistan's strategic value suddenly increases, so too might the battle for influence between regional giants India and China, and the United States. So what else is new? I say we focus on the positive. For the first time, Afghanistan might actually become an exporter of something legal.

The Moon - Speaking of untapped resources... The moon's interior may harbor 100 times more water than previous estimates, according to a new study that took a fresh look at samples of moon rocks collected by Apollo astronauts nearly 40 years ago. Researchers determined that the lunar water likely originated early in the moon's formation history, suggesting that it is, in fact, native to the moon. Scientists said it is likely that the water was preserved from the hot magma that was present when the moon began to form some 4.5 billion years ago. Even with this newly discovered windfall of water, it turns out the moon is still pretty dry. I point this out in order to work in this next bit of useless trivia...which as you all know, is what I'm all about. If all the water that is locked up in Mars was put on the lunar surface, it would cover the moon to a depth of just under 1 mile. And, if the same is done for all of the water inside the Earth, it would cover the entire lunar surface to a depth of 155 miles. In the meager attempt to tie this back to something relevant, I think this finding could actually support President Obama's recent decision to shelve plan's for NASA to go back to the Moon and instead focus on propulsion systems and technologies that would enable manned explorations further away. While widely criticized for this change in strategy, I believe Obama might be onto something here. The Moon is cool and everything, but facts are facts...it doesn't have anything that we need or want.

World Cup - Predictably, the teams that I thought were supposed to win didn't get my memo. Here's a quick rundown of the first set of games in group play.

• Host South Africa managed a tie with Mexico in Group A.
• The U.S. beat England 1-1 in Group C play (That was the headline, I swear. You see, England was supposed to beat the U.S., but ended up with a draw due to a deflection of the English goalkeeper that somehow managed to find the back of the net).
• Ghana in Group D is the only one of the six African nations in the tournament to record a victory.
• France and Italy could manage only draws in their respective openers (I bring this up because they played in the 2006 World Cup final--Italy won--and because, naturally, I thought they would win their opening matches)

My winning percentage so far: 36% (4 for 11)

What Caught My Eye Today - World Cup 2010 Picks

Soccer - Alright, boys and girls. It's time for the world's largest sporting event. For those of you who don't have a clue what I'm talking about...you might as well stop reading right now. As for the rest of you, here are my picks (in bold type) for teams advancing out of group play at the 2010 FIFA World Cup in South Africa, starting with tomorrow's opening match between host team South Africa and the Tri Colores (aka Mexico).

• Group A: South Africa, Mexico, Uruguay, France
• Group B: Argentina, Nigeria, South Korea, Greece
• Group C: England, United States, Algeria, Slovenia
• Group D: Germany, Australia, Serbia, Ghana
• Group E: Netherlands, Denmark, Japan, Cameroon
• Group F: Italy, Paraguay, New Zealand, Slovakia
• Group G (aka Group of Death): Brazil, North Korea, Ivory Coast, Portugal
• Group H: Spain, Switzerland, Honduras, Chile

What Caught My Eye Today

Fictional Characters - As one who prides himself on having a wealth of useless information, I have to confess I didn't know the who any of these folks were. Turns out they are all rather familiar characters. See if you can figure out how these folks are. I'll post the answers at the end of this post.

• Barbara Millicent Roberts
• Patricia Reichardt
• Oscar Zoroaster Phadrig Isaac Norman Henkel Emmannuel Ambroise Diggs
• Milburn Pennybags
• Nostradamus Shannon
• Bibendum
• Jonas Grumby
• Norville Rogers
• John Reid

Oil Spill - It's Day 51 of the Gulf of Mexico oil spill that began with the April 20 explosion and fire on the drilling rig Deepwater Horizon, and on this day, we have a shocking revelation.According to analysis conducted by the Associated Press, BP PLC's 582-page regional spill plan for the Gulf, and its 52-page, site-specific plan for the Deepwater Horizon rig are riddled with omissions and glaring errors. Gee whiz, really? Here's another newsflash...the government approved the plan. But, seriously, how bad could those errors really be? Among the glaring errors in the report: A professor is listed in BP's 2009 response plan for a Gulf of Mexico oil spill as a national wildlife expert. He died in 2005. The plan lists cold-water marine mammals including walruses, sea otters, sea lions and seals as "sensitive biological resources." None of those animals live anywhere near the Gulf.Also, names and phone numbers of several Texas A&M University marine life specialists are wrong. So are the numbers for marine mammal stranding network offices in Louisiana and Florida, which are disconnected. Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer.

Fast Food - It would appear that ordering off menu items isn't just limited to special patrons. You just need to know how to say what you want.

• In-N-Out Burger’s "secret menu" isn’t so secret these days (click here), but one item that doesn't appear on that menu the Flying Dutchman, which is two slices of cheese sandwiched between two patties, hold the bun.
  Oh sweet Jesus. Come to poppa.
• Starbucks offers the Short size; it's like a little baby cup of coffee.
  Seriously, what's wrong with small, medium or large?
• Wendy's offers the Grand Slam, which is four patties stacked on a bun. It’s also known as the Meat Cube.
  There's a lovely mental image.
Taco Bell has a not-advertised green chili sauce at most locations, and apparently it's excellent
Not advertised but excellent. Call me crazy, but I'm a bit skeptical as too just how good this green chili sauce really is.
• At Fatburger, you can order a Hypocrite; a veggie burger topped with crispy strips of bacon.
  Here's what I want to know. What is a place named FatBurger thinking by offering a veggie burger on its menu? Like that's what their customers are really looking for in a burger.

Fictional Characters - So how well did you do?

• Barbara Millicent Roberts - Barbie (as in Barbie doll)
• Patricia Reichardt - Peppermint Patty from Peanuts
• Oscar Zoroaster Phadrig Isaac Norman Henkel Emmannuel Ambroise Diggs - The Wizard of Oz
• Milburn Pennybags - Rich Uncle Pennybags (from the board game Monopoly)
• Nostradamus Shannon - Bull (from the sitcom "Night Court)
• Bibendum - The Michelin Man
• Jonas Grumby - Skipper (from the sitcom "Gilligan's Island")
• Norville Rogers - Shaggy (from the cartoon "Scooby Doo"
• John Reid - The Lone Ranger

What Caught My Eye Today

Real Estate (Part I) - The fine folks at Forbes measured 200 Metropolitan Statistical Areas looking at the last five years of income growth, current unemployment rates and cost of living, crime rates and arts and culture ratings, using data from the Bureau of Labor Statistics, Moody's Economy.com, the FBI Crime Report and Sperling's Best Places (what a mouthful) to come up with its list of the 5 most livable cities in the U.S. Think your town made the list?

1. Pittsburg, PA. Pittsburgh's art scene, job prospects, safety and affordability make it the most livable city in the country.
   Just out of curiosity, where does desirability fit into this ranking? I have yet to meet the person "jonesing" to relocate to Pittsburgh.
2. Ogden, UT. Unemployment in the metro is below average, and incomes have increased by 3.4% over the last five years.
   Did you know that Ogden is home to Weber State University? Neither did I. Did you care? Neither did I.
3. Provo, UT. The metro has the highest five-year income growth, 5.2%, of all the cities measured.
   I have a theory about these income increases. I'm thinking there isn't much to do in these places, what with everything being closed on Sundays, so maybe these folks have all this income because there is nothing to spend that income on.
4. Ann Arbor, MI.
   Great college parties...I guess.
5. Harrisburg, PA
   Harrisburg? Honestly, does desirability factor into this at all?

Real Estate (Part II) - Okay, so that last list is questionable at best. Now let's have some real fun and check out the five most miserable cities (again based on rankings compiled by Forbes).

1. Cleveland, OH. Cleveland secured the position thanks to its high unemployment, high taxes, lousy weather, corruption by public officials and crummy sports teams.
   Finally, a ranking that I do not dispute (sorry Cleveland), though I bet LeBron James might dispute that statement about lousy sports teams.
2. Stockton, CA. Unemployment and crime continue to be major issues and Stockton residents have average commutes that are among the highest in the country. Plus, like all Californians, they suffer from onerous sales and income taxes.
   These dudes are suffering enough as it is. I cannot bring myself to pile on any more misery.
3. Memphis, TN. Memphis has the second-worst rate of violent crime in the country and an alarming rate of convicted public officials.
   All that might be true, but they have some wicked good barbecue in Memphis.
4. Detroit, MI.
   Ah, Detroit. I don't care what the rankings say. You'll always be best of the worst on my list.
5. Flint, MI.
   Thank you, auto industry.

Men - Alright, boys. Your wildest dreams are about to be answered. At long last (courtesy of Esquire magazine), we have the definitive list of what the ideal man should be...according to the ladies.

At 18:
He should be compassionate, at least. Anything to get to second base, right?
He should be good with the parents. Yours or his?
He should have a goal. He does. After taking second base, steal third and hope the reach home by the end of the first date.
He should know how to whittle wood. Is this a sex thing? If so, what pray tell does "whittle wood" pertain to?
We don't expect very much, to be honest. That's probably best.

At 27:
He should be reliable. Keep reaching for those stars, ladies.
He shouldn't rely on text messaging as a tool of courtship. Exactly. I find booze is much more effective anyway.
He should have a "way" about him. Oh he does. The question is whether the ladies like that "way".
He should have traveled the world. Right. That whole establishing a career is totally overrated.
He should know how to cook one thing really well. That would be chili.
He should have a political affiliation. Independent counts, right? Or is that just a fancy way of saying, I'm too lazy to vote for the next politician who gets to screw me.
He should, every now and then, substitute a light beer with Scotch on the rocks. Seriously, that's important to you?
He should behave as if his mother raised him correctly — even if she didn't. Of course! What every girl hopes for--a mama's boy.

At 35:
He should not have a belly. Quid pro quo, ladies. Quid pro quo. Unless, of course you are carrying our offspring. You get a pass in that case.
He should have decided on a sexual preference. You mean besides..."Yes"?
He should possess the thoughtfulness required to help a mom with a stroller and two kids up the stairs. It's not about the thoughtfulness; it's the motivation to expend energy on a deed that is likely to have little or no upside. Most men, could derive the same satisfaction consuming a cold beer.
He should not have mommy issues. Who's mommy, yours or his?
He should have moved on from pickup lines to conversation starters. So like, "Would you like to to sleep with me?" isn't interesting enough to start a dialogue?
He should want the party to end at some point. This is all about the timing. I'm sure the ladies are just as unhappy when boyfriend is ready to call it a night, before her party has peaked--so to speak.

At 44:
He should be a real partner. As opposed to what, an imaginary friend?
He should still be eager to learn. He is. For example, I'm sure he asks himself on a daily basis, "what did I do wrong this time?"
He should be able to sing along to all the songs on Boston's first album. Boston?
He should be financially secure. Before or after getting hitched?
He should understand the importance of jewelry in a woman's life. This seems related to that last item. If he is married financially insecure, I'm guessing he has a fair idea of how important jewelry is to women. If he is married and financially secure, then he clearly doesn't have a clue.
He should take out the garbage without being asked. Honestly, who dreamed up this social convention?
He should be sexy. Oh, he is, ladies. You just don't see it.
He should be a gentleman. Oh, he is. You just don't see it. Maybe you should think about getting your eyes check, or something.

At 53:
He should work out. Newsflash, girls. If he hasn't started by now, it probably isn't going to happen.
He should smell like something: aftershave or cologne. Are those the only options? I mean, everyone likely the aroma of a good steak. Would that work?
He should know politics. Why? So you can have more to fight about?
He should be faithful. I know, I know. Nobody likes a cheater.
He should like Bob Dylan. I'll concede this one.
He should dance. We'd dance more if you stopping laughing at us every time we did the Cabbage Patch. You watch. It'll make a come back one of these days.
He should not be addicted to his work. Speaking strictly for myself--Can do.
He should admit his mistakes. Here's the deal, ladies. When the day comes that we make a mistake, we'll happily admit it.

What Caught My Eye Today

Fear - Remember the old saying, "you have nothing to fear, but fear itself."? In this day and age, there is plenty to scare the pants off anyone...several times over. But here is any interesting question--are we really fearing the right stuff? Let's find out shall we? What should you really be afraid of (answers are posted at the end of this post)?

• Murder or suicide?
• Children abducted by strangers or Children who drown in pools?
• Burglary or identity theft?
• Shark attack or dog bite?
• Killed by terrorist attack or seasonal flu?
• Death by allergic reaction to peanut or accidental poisoning?
• Women's death from breast cancer or cardiovascular disease?
• Death by airline accident or car crash?
• Audit by the IRS or death?

Nuclear Proliferation - Uncharacteristically, we have some good news here. The 189 member nations of the Nuclear Nonproliferation Treaty adopted a detailed plan of small steps down a long road toward nuclear disarmament, including a sharply debated proposal to move toward banning doomsday arms from the Middle East. Under its action plan, the five recognized nuclear-weapon states — the United States, Russia, Britain, France and China — commit to speed up arms reductions, take other steps to diminish the importance of atomic weapons, and report back on progress by 2014. The final document also calls for convening a conference in 2012 "on the establishment of a Middle East zone free of nuclear weapons and all other weapons of mass destruction." Fascinating idea. I wonder, did anyone mention this initiative to the Iranian government? This Arab idea of a WMD-free zone is designed to pressure Israel to give up its undeclared nuclear arsenal. Oh yeah, I'm sure the Israelis are totally up for that. Establishment of a verifiable Mideast nuclear weapons-free zone should help allay international concerns about whether Iran's ambitious nuclear program is aimed at building bombs, something Tehran denies. The Iranians have long expressed support for a nuke-free Mideast. They sure have a funny way of showing it, don't they. Still, in the interest of a nuclear free planet, however many lifetimes from now it might take to realize that day, I say bravo to the progress made here.

Potpourri - It's been awhile since we've had one. This time our theme is, "how exactly does this qualify as news?"

• Stress - A recent report found that 51 New York City bus drivers took off an average of more than two paid months in the past year to recover from the emotional trauma of being spat on by passengers.
  I'm not saying that the actions are justified, but this sounds a lot more like an occupational hazard rather than a reason to claim emotional trauma.
• Role Models - Bristol Palin, Sarah Palin's 19 year old daughter, charges $15,000 to $30,000 per appearance to tell teens why they should practice abstinence...so they don't become unwed mothers...like her.
  Funny and tragic at the same time, don't you think?
• Current Events - A recently published study found that Britons were spending slightly more time reading news online than looking at pornography.
  I get the feeling that this is intended to suggest that civilization has not completely deteriorated, but here's my question. Is the gap between watch news rather than porn increasing or decreasing? Funny how the study seems to omit that little nugget.

Fear - So are you fretting over the right stuff?

• Murder or suicide?
  In 2008, there were 14,180 murders in the U.S. compared with 33,289 suicides.
• Children abducted by strangers or Children who drown in pools?
  In 1999, 115 children were abducted compare with 288 who died by drowning in 2006.
• Burglary or identity theft?
  There were 2.2 million burglaries reported in 2007 compared with 8.3 million incidents of identity theft reported in 2005.
• Shark attack or dog bite?
  In 2009, there were 28 attacks by Jaws versus 4.5 million by Cujo.
• Killed by terrorist attack or seasonal flu?
  There were 33 terrorist attacks on Americans in 2008 versus more than 36,000 deaths due to the common flu.
• Death by allergic reaction to peanut or accidental poisoning?
  Less than 100 died from peanut allergies compared to 27,531 who died "accidentally" from poisoning in 2006.
• Women's death from breast cancer or cardiovascular disease?
  There were 40,170 women who succumbed to breast cancer in 2009 versus 432,709 who died from cardiovascular disease.
• Death by airline accident or car crash?
  There were 321 fatalities related to airline travel in 2005 compared with 34,017 auto fatalities in 2008.
• Audit by the IRS or death?
  1.4 million Americans were audited in 2009; 2.4 million died. No correlation I'm sure.

What Caught My Eye Today

Fred's Note: Upon reflection, yesterday's topics were a bit on the heavy side. By sheer coincidence, today's postings (with the possible exception of the first one) are much more on the lighter side.

Zimbabwe - Here's a riddle for you...What do you get the delusional leader of a nation who apparently has everything? If you happen to be the "whack job" leader of another country I guess you do something like this. Zimbabwean President Robert Mugabe is assembling a "Noah's Ark" of Zimbabwean wildlife, as a gift to his fellow dictator and ally, North Korea's Kim Jong Il. Sure, why not? Park officials have captured pairs of baby elephants, rhinos, giraffes, warthogs and other species, which are to be shipped to Pyongyang. Mugabe gave North Korea two rhinos in the 1980s; they died after just a few months. It seems these endangered species don't have enough going against them. Forget that their very existence is at risk; let's ship them off to North Korea for the amusement of the Beloved Leader. Who knows, maybe some of them might actually survive more than a few months this time.

National Debt - If you are anything like me, you have spent countless nights pondering what to do with all that spare cash you have lying around. Fear not, my friends. I have the perfect solution. If you would like to help the U.S. pay its public debt, the Treasury would be glad to take your money. They've set up a convenient online form to make it easy (click here). "Welcome to the United States Treasury's site for making donations to help reduce the public debt," the form says. "If you would like to make a donation, please fill in the required fields and click the Submit Data button when completed. Your contribution will be deposited to the account "Gifts to Reduce the Public Debt." Your contribution is accepted under the provisions of 31 U.S.C. 3113 which authorizes the Secretary of the Treasury to accept conditional gifts to the United States for the purpose of reducing the public debt. These donations are voluntary, and no goods, services, or other considerations are provided to the donors." I am so there.

Teenagers - As if it wasn't hard enough to survive puberty. Apparently, it makes you stupid, too. A recent study suggests that puberty may set off changes in the brain that make it the hardest time in life to learn new things. Researchers have found that during puberty unusual changes take place in the hippocampus, a region of the brain involved in memory and learning. There is a sudden growth of receptors for a chemical that calms them down but also interferes with learning. Whew. That's a relief. All this time I was thinking that it was all that binge drinking and preoccupation with hooking with the opposite sex that was to blame. Who would have thought that being dumb was just part of growing up. Woo hoo!

Junk Food - New research suggests junk food is literally addictive, producing changes in brain chemistry similar to those cocaine causes. Far be it from me to mock science, but...Duh. Of course its addictive. Why else would so many of use inhale so much of this crap on a daily basis? Researchers measured the brain activity of rates given unfettered access to fatty, high-calorie food. The rats quickly became obese and ate compulsively and continuously, even ignoring electric shocks applied to their feet in the presence of food. The same shocks applied to the control group deterred those rates from eating. Again, duh. The junk food probably tasted better, thereby warranting the trivial cost of shock therapy. As the rats consumed the junk food, the pleasure centers of their brains lit up just as if they were taking drugs. When the junk food was removed in favor of healthier food, the rats were so upset that they basically starved themselves. Seriously, can you blame them? Once you have tasted the sweet ambrosia that is "two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun" its hard--I daresay, impossible--to expect any real satisfaction from a celery stick.

What Caught My Eye Today

South Korea -If you thought that the alleged torpedoing of a South Korea vessel by a North Korean sub (alleged, my butt) was a big deal, well my friends, you would be mistaken. Here is some truly epic news from our friends on the Korean peninsula. South Korea has imposed a gaming curfew to try to crack down on what authorities call an epidemic of video game addiction among the young. Seriously, I am not making this up. The Culture Ministry announced that anyone under the age of 18 would be blocked from accessing popular online computer games after midnight. Other games must add features that will drastically slow the speed of Internet access once the player has been logged on for a certain number of hours. The measures come in response to a rash of incidents that shocked the nation in recent months including a couple that was charged with letting their infant starve to death while they raised a "virtual child" on the Internet. Where to begin? Okay...Culture Ministry? What up with that? Now the government is qualified to tell us what is culturally acceptable. I thought that's what radio talk show hosts were for. As for time spent on the Internet, where I come from how someone chooses to waste his or her time is a personal choice or, in the case of a minor, left to the discretion of the parent or guardian. Honestly, has the notion of personal accountability completely vanished from our so-called "advanced civilized" society?

Somalia - The Islamist militant group that controls much of Somalia has ordered radio stations to stop airing music. Hizbul Islam, which has already banned bras, musical ring tones, and movies, declared that music is "un-Islamic." Is it now? And just where in the Koran is that little nugget buried? Anyone? Somali radio stations tend to play a mix of American, European, and African rock and rap. Then again, these guys might be onto something. Some of the stuff coming out of my boom box causes my ears to shudder a bit every now and again. Now if Hizbul Islam were really serious about stopping the music, they would pay more attention to what we're doing in the United States. We're going after music at the source. Think about it. Music and arts programs are being suspended or completely shut down in schools all over the country. Banning music on the radio--what a bunch of amateurs.

Uganda - After a global outcry, Ugandan lawmakers have recommended dropping a bill that would have punished homosexual behavior with death. A commission created by Ugandan President Yowere Museveni ruled that just about every clause in the bill was unconstitutional. You don't say. Well then, they better get on the ball and get cracking on a new constitution that isn't constrained by morals or respect for basic human rights. The measure would have required Ugandans to report anybody they suspected of being gay and was backed by Ugandan evangelical churches, some of which have been supported and partially financed by U.S. churches. I'm all for people having the freedom to believe what they want. Heck, I believe in all sorts of wacky stuff. What I don't get is this strong aversion to same sex relations that seems to preoccupy some folks who have what I guess you would call "deeply religious convictions." What are you people afraid of? Is there some threat that homosexuality poses to your way of life. Clearly, if anyone has reason to be fearful, it is the gay community which if the Ugandan evangelicals had their way, would be killed out in short order. News flash, people. I'm pretty sure these folks are as interested in your lifestyle as you are of theirs. They won't piss in your pool if you don't piss in theirs. And there are a lot of pools out there (70% of the planet is water, you know).

India - And now for something completely out of left field, we bring you the latest challenge to confound our friends on the sub-continent. India is bringing an executioner out of retirement to hang the only Mumbai attacker who was captured alive. The attacker was sentenced to death by hanging for participating in the 2008 attack that killed at least 173 people at hotels, hospitals, and other locations in India's largest city. But because India does not have a single working hangman, officials were not sure how or when the sentence would be carried out. I can certainly see how that could pose a dilemma. How could you possibly carry out a death sentence without a hangman's noose? Few people want to learn the profession, which demands skill but pays less than $5 per hanging. Luckily, a retired hangman offered to do the deed. Maybe those retired executioners should think about unionizing. Collectively bargaining could certainly lead to higher wages and maybe even include a decent dental plan.