What Caught My Eye Today

Recession - Apparently, the recession is over. Before you start mocking me let me remind you that I just report the news...I don't make this nonsense up. One last thing. I got this particular item from the BBC, so I'm pretty sure it is a legitimate story, as opposed to the stuff I usual get from The Onion. The US economy grew at an annual pace of 3.5% between July and September, its first expansion in more than a year. It is the first time the US economy has expanded since the second quarter of 2008, when it grew at an annual pace of 2.4%. Sounds promising, don't it? Of course there is always the contrarian view. Analysts cautious about the slow nature of the U.S. economic recovery point to the fact that the unemployment rate currently stands at 9.8%, and that the labor market traditionally lags behind any wider economic recovery. They also highlight the fact that the big car firms have already reported a sharp fall in September sales following the conclusion of the popular $3 billion cash for clunkers program at the end of August. What a bunch of kill joys. I for one applauded the news...right after I got home from picking up my unemployment check and being informed by my bank that my mortgage isn't worth the paper it is printed on.

H1N1 - Also known as "Swine Flu" Scientists at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention estimate that between 1.8 million and 5.7 million Americans were infected from mid-April through July 23. The figures are the CDC's most specific calculation to date. Yikes. That sounds like an awful lot. To come up with the numbers, the scientists assumed that most people infected with swine had only mild illnesses and did not get medical care or get tested. For every confirmed case, they estimated that probably 80 others occurred. And for every confirmed hospitalization, there were probably three others. 80? Okay, that sound like an awful lot too. I'm curious just how reliable that estimate really is. I mean, these dudes could be off by a factor of 80. That's more than just a rounding error, don't you think?

Turkmenistan - The United States has in recent months sought to improve relations with Turkmenistan, the secretive former Soviet possession that is home to rich oil and gas deposits and straddles a strategically vital central Asian location, sharing borders with both Iran and Afghanistan. I remember a simpler time when the United States wanted to improve relations with other countries because it was the right thing to do. Sigh. Now I imagine that the reason this made the news today is because the process has hit a bit of a snag. those efforts are being complicated by a government campaign against students seeking to study at the American University of Central Asia), located in Bishkek, Kyrgyzstan. Some students have been barred from travelling abroad to the school and others have been subject to surveillance and harassment when they come home. Observers say that the Turkmen regime has become wary of US educational outreach, seeing it as an effort to slip U.S.-style democracy through the back door as politically engaged students return home. Honestly, what have the Americans done to warrant that sort of skepticism? Turkmenistan's major hydrocarbon reserves and its agreement to assist with NATO's Afghan northern supply route have helped mute US criticism of the regime. See what I mean? They have natural resources that we want. The last thing we're going to do is risk access to them over a little thing like human rights. These dudes are way too paranoid.

Fred's Note: This last item goes out to my sister on the very happy occasion of her birthday. You go, girl.

October 29 - For those of you who keep track of such things... October 29 is the 302nd day of the year (303rd in leap years) in the Gregorian calendar. There are 63 days remaining until the end of the year. Here are a few notable events that have taken place on this date since sis graced us with her presence way back in...

• 1983 – Over 500,000 people demonstrate against cruise missiles in The Hague, The Netherlands.
• 1991 – The American Galileo spacecraft makes its closest approach to 951 Gaspra, becoming the first probe to visit an asteroid.
• 1994 – Francisco Martin Duran fires over two dozen shots at the White House (Duran is later convicted of trying to kill US President Bill Clinton).
• 1998 – Apartheid: In South Africa, the Truth and Reconciliation Commission presents its report, which condemns both sides for committing atrocities.
• 1998 – Space Shuttle Discovery blasts off on STS-95 with 77-year old John Glenn on board, making him the oldest person to go into space.
• 1998 – Hurricane Mitch, the second deadliest Atlantic hurricane in history, makes landfall in Honduras.
• 2004 – The Arabic news network Al Jazeera broadcasts an excerpt from a video of Osama bin Laden in which the terrorist leader first admits direct responsibility for the September 11, 2001 attacks and references the 2004 U.S. presidential election.

And here are a few unworthy losers fortunate enough to say they share a birthday with sis:

• 1017 – Henry III, Holy Roman Emperor (he's dead now)
• 1943 – Don Simpson, American film producer (him too)
• 1947 – Richard Dreyfuss, American actor (hey, we have a live one)
• 1957 – Dan Castellaneta, American voice actor, Best known as the voice of Homer Simpson
• 1961 – Randy Jackson, American musician (from American Idol fame)
• 1971 – Winona Ryder, American actress
• 1981 – Amanda Beard, American swimmer (the fact that she is smokin' hot has nothing to do with me listing her here...I swear)

What Caught My Eye Today

Cuba - The U.N. General Assembly on Wednesday overwhelmingly condemned the U.S. trade embargo on Cuba, an annual ritual that highlights global opposition to the policy. This year's vote was 187-3 in opposition to the embargo, up from 185-3 last year, with only Israel and the tiny Pacific island nation of Palau supporting the United States. It was the 18th year in a row that the General Assembly has taken up the symbolic measure, with Washington steadily losing what little support it once had. I'm reminded of the old saying, "if a tree falls down in the forest and there is no one there to see it, did the tree make a sound?" Not that the United States has cared much about what the United Nations says--and why should we? We have Israel and Palau on our side. I think we're set--, but honestly, this is starting to get embarrassing. I'm pretty sure the ship has sailed on any hopes we had for what these embargoes were supposed to accomplish. Cuba is a communist state. Perhaps we should contemplate acknowledging that reality and move on.

Russia - Russia's space agency is planning to build a new spaceship with a nuclear engine. The preliminary design could be ready by 2012 and then it is expected to take nine more years and 17 billion rubles ($600 million, 400 million euros) to build the ship. Compared to what we spend on our rockets, $600 million sounds like a bargain to me. The proposal sounded more like a plea for extra government funds than a detailed proposal. Russia is using 40-year old Soyuz booster rockets and capsules to send crews to the International Space Station. The Russian space agency also has mulled over prospective future missions to the moon and Mars, but hasn't yet set a specific time frame yet. You know, you could swap out the Russian Space Agency with NASA, and this story would pretty much read the same.

Which gives us a nice transition into this next story...

Rockets - NASA's newest rocket successfully completed a brief test flight Wednesday, the first step in a back-to-the-moon program that could yet be shelved by the White House. Nearly twice the height of the spaceship it's supposed to replace — the shuttle — the skinny experimental rocket carried no passengers or payload, only throwaway ballast and hundreds of sensors. The flight cost $445 million. Remember that is the cost of a two minute trial flight. The Russians claim they can build a production ready rocket for just $600 million. NASA said the flight was a tremendous success, based on early indications. You don't say? I'm thinking, short of the rocket blowing up on the launchpad, NASA officials were going to claim victory no matter what happened. They need all the positive PR they can muster to convince the White House not to kill the program altogether. NASA contends the Ares I will be ready to carry astronauts to the International Space Station in 2015, four to five years after the shuttles are retired. But a panel of experts said in a report to President Barack Obama last week that it will be more like 2017, and stressed that the entire effort is underfunded. The first Ares moon trip would be years beyond that under the current plan. Mind you that this plan has been ripped to shreds by the aforementioned expert panel assembled by the Obama Administration to plot a future course for NASA.

Tennis - Eight-times grand slam winner Andre Agassi left the tennis world in a state of shock when he admitted using the recreational drug crystal meth and lying to men's governing body the Association of Tennis Professionals (ATP) to escape a ban. In his autobiography, Agassi candidly describes being introduced to the drug in 1997 when his career was in freefall. Agassi, remembers receiving a phone call from a doctor working for the ATP who informed him that he had failed a drugs test. He said the ATP threw out the case against him after he concocted a story that he had accidentally drunk a soda spiked with crystal meth belonging to Slim. Agassi's admission that he took drugs casts a shadow over a player widely regarded as one of the greatest ever while it also exposes the ATP's lack of strict doping controls at the time. Don't take this as justification of Agassi's actions, but perhaps we should look at the bigger picture here. Agassi did not set out to be a role model; the dude wanted to win. It was the fans that gave him that mantle. Agassi entertained the fans not unlike Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa in their epic home run battle of 1998. And after he retired, Agassi used his fame to promote the Andre Agassi Charitable Foundation which helps disadvantage children in Las Vegas. My point is that Agassi made a poor choice during a rather dark period in his life (who among us hasn't?). Now that Agassi is coming clean about his past, does that undo all the things that he's done right?

Baseball - The World Series starts today with defending champions, the Philadelphia Phillies taking on the New York Yankees in a best of seven series. I pretty much hate baseball (yes, I know, how un-American of me), but I feel compelled to pick a winner, just to keep things interesting. I'm going with the Phillies in 6 games, mostly because I hate the Yankees, but also because they've already bought themselves--I mean won--26 championships (out of the 40 they've played in). The next closest team is the St. Louis Cardinals with 10 (out of 17). Go Philly.

What Caught My Eye Today - The "That's a Shame" Edition

Fred's Note: Every once and a while the stars line up and you get an assortment of stories that leave you shaking your head in disbelief and muttering to yourself, "That's a shame". This is one of those occasions.

Africa - This year's Ibrahim Prize for Achievement in African Leadership goes to...nobody. That sounds a bit harsh, doesn't it? The $5 million award is given annually to an African leader who has exhibited the strongest commitment to democracy and good governance and, crucially, has left office within the last three years. Many of Africa's rulers have been in power for decades and show no signs of retiring. I stand corrected. That first bit wasn't as harsh as I thought. This part, on the other hand... The committee that awards the prize said that "after in-depth review," it simply "could not select a winner." Ouch.

Saudi Arabia - Saudi Arabia legalized handgun ownership this week, in an effort to curb a thriving black market. This is the best they could come up with? The Interior Ministry announced that it would begin licensing gun shops to sell handguns and other personal firearms. Some Saudis are skeptical of the new right to bear arms. "We can't even adhere to traffic regulations," a business owner said. "How can we put guns in the hands of people who have no discipline?" Is it just me or does this scream "train wreck"? And who doesn't like a front row seat to one of those?

Hawaii - In an effort to cut $468 million from the state education budget, Hawaii's teachers have agreed to take Fridays off for the rest of the school year. The plan will give Hawaii's 171,000 public school students the nation's shortest school year, at 163 days. Although teachers say they will try to compress five days of schoolwork into four days each week (yeah, good luck with that), parents are objecting saying it's just not enough time to learn (Translation: "Damn, we're stuck with knucklehead.") Hawaii already trails most states in national education achievement. Really? I wonder why.

Potpourri -

• Hungary - The entire police force of Budaors, Hungary (all 15 of them) resigned after the group won $16 million in the lottery.
• Mexico - Mexico City put 1300 of its heaviest officers on a diet because 70% of the city's 70,000-member police force is overweight.
  Well you have to start somewhere I suppose. That's 1,300 down and only 47,700 to go.
• Italy - an Italian couple sued a cruise line for $4,500 claiming they had not been told they had booked a trip on Italy's first gay cruise. They said they were the only straight people among the 1,500 guests on board, and that the events frequently left them "uncomfortable" and "embarrassed."
  I'll just leave you to your own imaginations on this one.

What Caught My Eye Today

Climate Change - Have you heard that the world is now cooling instead of warming? Actually--no, I haven't. You may have seen some news reports on the Internet or heard about it from a provocative new book. Only one problem: It's not true. Poopy gook. Since when did the truth matter? The case that the Earth might be cooling partly stems from recent weather. Last year was cooler than previous years. It's been a while since the super-hot years of 1998 and 2005. Global warming skeptics base their claims on an unusually hot year in 1998. Since then, they say, temperatures have dropped — thus, a cooling trend. But it's not that simple. Statistics rarely are--but that's what makes them so fascinating...well, to me, at least. Since 1998, temperatures have dipped, soared, fallen again and are now rising once more. Statisticians who analyzed the data found a distinct decades-long upward trend in the numbers, but could not find a significant drop in the past 10 years. The ups and downs during the last decade repeat random variability in data as far back as 1880. Saying there's a downward trend since 1998 is not scientifically legitimate. Of the 10 hottest years recorded by National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA), eight have occurred since 2000, and after this year it will be nine because this year is on track to be the sixth-warmest on record. Let's see the number crunchers refute that little gems, shall we? Yeah, I think I'm going to short the prospects of a new ice age. My money is on global warming.

India - Fred's Note: It occurs to me that I've been giving India more than its fair share of attention of late. Rest assured, I have nothing against India. In fact, I would go as far as to say this should be considered a compliment. Ten years ago, stories like this never would have made the wires. An Air India crew on a flight over Pakistan got into a brawl leaving horrified passengers wondering who was steering the plane. I'm guessing the auto-pilot. The scuffle apparently started after the pilot and co-pilot scolded a female flight attendant for some infraction, and a male flight attendant came to her defense. Witnesses said the pilot and male attendant began pushing and cursing each other at the doorway of the cockpit before slipping into the passenger gangway, where it became a fistfight. Now that's what I call in-flight entertainment. But seriously, here's what I find troubling. Let's say that some passengers got into an altercation that resulting in punches being thrown. Those poor bastards would be taken into custody and face some serious jail time. I smell a double standard here, and I don't like it. I don't like it at all. I say if the dude flying the plane can find the time to brawl with a co-worker, passengers should be given the same latitude. It's not like they're flying the plane.

Air Travel - Of course, India can try to outdo us Americans in doing stupid things, but they have a long, long way to go before they approach our levels of absurdity. Two Northwest Airlines pilots have told federal investigators that they were going over schedules using their laptop computers in violation of company policy while their plane overflew their Minneapolis destination by 150 miles. The pilots said in interviews that they were not fatigued and didn't fall asleep. Instead, they told investigators that they both had their laptops out while the first officer, who had more experience with scheduling, instructed the captain on monthly flight crew scheduling. Ah, well if they had a logical explanation for overshoot their destination by 150 miles, then I guess that makes the oversight okay. And another thing--though admittedly a trivial one--how complicated is that scheduling software that it took an hour for a rather intelligent individual (so I assume) to figure it out? The pilots were out of communication with air traffic controllers and their airline for more than an hour and didn't realize their mistake until contacted by a flight attendant. Many aviation safety experts had said it was more plausible that the pilots had fallen asleep during the cruise phase of their flight. Well, I suppose if you can fall asleep driving a car, then it is conceivable that you could do the same flying a passenger jet. And yet, somehow that doesn't make me feel any better. Air traffic controllers in Denver and Minneapolis repeatedly tried without success to raise the pilots of the San Diego-to-Minneapolis flight by radio. Other pilots in the vicinity tried reaching the plane on other radio frequencies. Their airline tried contacting them using a radio text message that chimes. Maybe someone should have tried "tweeting" them.

Healthcare - Lest you thought that the airline industry held a monopoly on "ridiculous beyond all comprehension" stories, I give you healthcare. The U.S. healthcare system is just as wasteful as President Barack Obama says it is, and proposed reforms could be paid for by fixing some of the most obvious inefficiencies, preventing mistakes and fighting fraud. No way. That would mean that we're wasting over $800 billion a year. That can't be true. According to a Thomson Reuters report, the U.S. healthcare system wastes between $505 billion and $850 billion every year. Oh come on. These guys must be exaggerating. Unnecessary care such as the overuse of antibiotics and lab tests to protect against malpractice exposure makes up 37% of healthcare waste or $200 to $300 billion a year. Really? Fraud makes up 22% of healthcare waste, or up to $200 billion a year in fraudulent Medicare claims, kickbacks for referrals for unnecessary services and other scams. Get out. Administrative inefficiency and redundant paperwork account for 18% of healthcare waste. No way. Medical mistakes account for $50 billion to $100 billion in unnecessary spending each year, or 11% of the total. Jeepers. Preventable conditions such as uncontrolled diabetes cost $30 billion to $50 billion a year. Okay, okay. We get point.

Like I said before, India can try to steal the headlines, but they're still in the minor leagues as far as I'm concerned. Those dudes are going to have to dig deep if they want to challenge the good ol' Stars and Stripes in the colossal blunder department.

What Caught My Eye Today

Obesity - As the United States battles an obesity crisis, ambulance crews are trying to improve how they transport extremely heavy patients, who become significantly more difficult to move as they surpass 350 pounds. And caring for such patients is expensive, requiring costly equipment and extra workers, so some ambulance companies have started charging higher fees for especially overweight people. Transporting extremely heavy people costs about 2 1/2 times as much as normal-weight patients. This is more of a rhetorical question--"normal-weight" according to what metric? It takes more time to move them and requires three to four times more crew members, who often must use expensive specialty equipment. It's not like there isn't precedent for this sort of thing. Those penny pinchers at Southwest Airlines started charging our plus-sized brethren for two seats years ago.

Italy - More than 100,000 women have signed a petition saying they are offended by Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi — an initiative launched by a newspaper after the premier made a sexist remark to an opposition politician. One can only assume the rest of the female population either had not heard about the remark...or didn't care. This is Berlusconi we're talking about, after all. This wouldn't be the first time he said something stupid. Berlusconi made the jab during a call in to a late-night talk show that featured a former minister who dresses conservatively, wears glasses and has short, gray hair. "You are always more beautiful than intelligent," Berlusconi told her. Being a bit of a simpleton, myself, I'd take that as a compliment, but that's just me. Berlusconi has acknowledged he is "no saint" and loves beautiful women, but insists Italians want him that way. Atta boy, Silvio. Embrace your chauvinistic side. That will certainly endear you to the masses.

Space Flight - A special independent panel told the White House that NASA needs to make a major detour on its grand plans to return astronauts to the moon--that NASA has picked the wrong destination with the wrong rocket. Well, at least NASA covered all its bases--wrong plan, wrong planet, wrong rocket. I'd say that's everything. Instead, NASA should be concentrating on bigger rockets and new places to explore saying that it makes more sense to put astronauts on a nearby asteroid or one of the moons of Mars. I vote for Uranus...sorry, I couldn't help myself. The commission wants NASA to extend the life of the space shuttle program and the International Space Station. Space shuttles are due to retire in 2010, but should keep flying until sometime in 2011 because they won't get all their flights to the space station done by that date. Sounds like a good reason to me. And the space station itself — only now nearing completion — should operate until at least 2020, allowing for more scientific experiments, part of its reason for existence. NASA's timetable calls for plunging it into the ocean in 2015. Well, hell if the joint isn't going to be complete until 2010 or 2011, I'd kind of like to see it operational for awhile. Christ, it's take almost 3 times that long just to build the stupid thing.

Computers - Microsoft Corp launched Windows 7 in its most important release for more than a decade, aiming to win back customers after the disappointing Vista and strengthen its grip on the PC market. Oh goodie. The world's largest software company, which powers more than 90% of personal computers, has received good reviews for the new operating system, which it hopes will grab back the impetus in new technology from rivals Apple and Google. Forgive the techno-speak here. Duh! Of course the reviews are going to be better than Vista. When you set the benchmark for improvement that low, you are bound to impress somebody.

Sex - It was the headline that drew my attention, I swear. Why do women have sex? It's an intriguing question once you get beyond the obvious reasons: to perpetuate the species and because it feels good. I thought it was because they were tired of listening to us men begging for it and gave in just to shut us up. University of Texas researchers conducted an online survey of more than 1,000 women ages 18 to 87 and found, to their surprise, that women aren't all that different from men. Right. Call me a skeptic, but I think most men and women could come of with plenty of differences. But that is for another day. Let's see what this bogus survey reveals. The top reason women have sex is because they're attracted to their partner, followed by their seeking of physical gratification. Lower down on the list, the reasons were connected to love or emotional bonding. Many women said they had sex to bring them closer to God. No, I won't comment on this one--too easy. And revenge sex was a big theme--getting back at partners who weren't faithful by having sex with someone else. Yeah, no emotional baggage there. Many women wrote about having sex simply to get another notch on their belt while others engaged in "sympathy sex" because they felt sorry for their mate for any number of reasons. That's always been my ace in hole.

What Caught My Eye Today

Fred's Note: Yeah, yeah, I know. It's been a month since my last posting. I'd like to say that the job has been keeping me busy (which it has) or that the news hasn't been that inspiring (which it hasn't), but the truth of the matter is that I decided to take a break. Now then...what's been going on?

Babies - Ordinarily I'd publish this as a Question of the Week, but I have a backlog of those, plus this is an age old question that apparently can now be answered. Where do babies come from? According to the United Nations Development Proram and the Population Reference Bureau, more than 80% of all babies hail from Africa and Asia, thanks to shy-high fertility rates. Clearly, I'm stupid. I thought babies came from men and women having sex and one of those swimmers managing against all odds to fertilize an egg. Darn it, I knew I should have said Africa. The percentage of world population born in 2009 breaks down as follows:

• Asia - 57.4%
  Seriously, Asia has both China and India. Who can compete with that?
• Africa - 26%
  In some nations the fertility rate tops 7 children per mother. That is a lot of diaper changing.
• Americas - 11.5%
  The U.S. leads rich nations in fertility at 2.1, due mostly to immigrants and unwed mothers. Hey, I'm all for doing whatever it takes to keep Social Security solvent long enough for me to some.
• Europe - 4.6%
  Things are so bad in Europe, governments are offering cash incentive for couples to get knocked up.
• Oceania - 0.5%

Wars - More trivia for you.How long was the Hundred Years' War? One hundred and seventeen to be precise. Bonus points if any can name the combatants (I'll give you the answer in a moment). The war in Iraq has now outlasted World War II, and in March 2010, Afghanistan will pass Vietnam as the longest American ware ever High praise, indeed. Here's how Iraq and Afghanistan stack up against some other notable armed conflicts. You may just want to skip to the next item--this is rather depressing:

• Six-Day War - 6 days (June 5 to June 10, 1967)
  What a clever name!
• Gulf War - 1 month, 13 days (January 19 to February 28, 1991)
• U.S. Civil War - 3 years, 11 months, 29 days (April 12, 1861 to April 9, 1865)
• World War I - 4 years, 3 months, 15 days (July 28, 1914 to November 11, 1918
  And we all know how well that turned out.
• World War II - 6 years, 2 days (September 1, 1939 to September 2, 1945)
• Iraq War - 6 years, 7 months, 2 days (March 20, 2003 to present)
  and counting...
• War in Afghanistan - 8 years, 15 days (Oct 7, 2001 to present)
  still counting...
• American Revolution - 8 years, 4 months, 16 days (April 19, 1775 to September 3, 1783
• Vietnam War - 8 years, 5 months, 21 days (August 7, 1964 to January 27, 1973)
  Personally, I would mind seeing Vietnam retain that title, but I don't see that happening

(So, who has the answer? Shockingly, the French are involved on both sides of the Hundred Years War. The two primary contenders were the House of Valois and the House of Plantagenet fighting over the vacant French throne way back in 1337.)

India - I love these guys--they are so material rich. Indoor plumbing is becoming more common in rural India thanks to the 2-year-old "No toilet, no bride" campaign. Honestly, who could make this stuff up? The government-run campaign, part of an initiative to improve sanitation and combat diseases, urges women to refuse to marry any man who can't offer them a home with a bathroom. Way to set the bar way up there, guys. More than 1 million toilets have been built in the rural north since the campaign was launched. Because of India's frowned upon but still practiced policy of selective abortion of female fetuses, brides are in short supply. So women can afford to be picky. Maybe, just maybe, if they didn't kill the girl babies, women wouldn't be in such short supply. But back to the topic at hand. I wonder you work the phase, "I have a toilet" into a pick-up line (or better yet, a proposal) and still make it sound romantic. I just don't see it.

Driver's Ed - Ozzy Osbourne fially passed his driving test after failing it 18 times. Lucky us. Osbourne credits his reversal of fortune to having successfully given up drinking. He says that on previous attempts to pass the test he would be "walking around the test center with a bottle of vodka in my pocket," and that testing officials always seemed afraid to get in a car with him. Again, lucky us.

What Caught My Eye Today

Samoa - Samoa became the first nation in more than 30 years to switch its driving from one side of the road to the other -- without a single accident. Good for them. At 5:50a.m. the Police Minister made a radio announcement for motorists to stop and then ten minutes later at 6:00a.m. the Prime Minister came on the air ordering all cars to switch sides from right to left; then ten minutes later at 6:10a.m., a final announcement was made to resume driving. The switch was made to bring Samoa in line with the traffic flow in Australia and New Zealand. Seriously, I think credit should be given where credit is due. I say bravo to all three drivers in Samoa for making the transition from right to left in such a seamless manner.

Iran - Iran's president said he is proud to stoke international outrage with his latest remarks denying the Holocaust as he heads for the United Nations this week. Of course he is. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad takes the world stage with a speech later this week to the U.N. General Assembly. Ahmadinejad appears to relish the controversy. Of course he does. This will be his fifth appearance at the annual General Assembly since his first election in 2005. In past years, he has used his U.N. visits to bolster his credentials as a figure of resistance to Israel and American domination — an image that he believes plays well among his conservative supporters in Iran. I'm curious why the U.N. General Assembly continues to allow Ahmadinejad such a platform when it knows full well the nonsense that he is likely to spew. I appreciate that the U.N. has to give all of its members a chance to voice their views on international matters, but this is akin to giving someone a microphone so they can yell "Fire" in a theater just to get a rise out of the crowd.

China - China's military now possesses most of the sophisticated weapon systems found in the arsenals of developed Western nations, the country's defense minister said. "This is an extraordinary achievements that speaks to the level of our military's modernization and the huge change in our country's technological strength." Boy was I way off on this one. I figured dude was going to say something to the effect of, "We've spent billions of yuan and our weapons still suck...which is surprising since its all made in China." However, it would appear that I may not be the only one who views these claims with some skepticism. Some analysts say the claim was likely directed at the Chinese public and exaggerated its technological prowess. No no. That's not possible.

Afghanistan - Police officials from some of Afghanistan's most violent regions questioned the need for more American troops, saying it would increase the perception the U.S. is an occupying power and the money would be better spent on local forces. These guys are worried about a perception problem now? I'm thinking the fact that we've been there for 8 years might have more to do with
the locals view the U.S. as an occupying power. The police were responding to an assessment from General Stanley McChrystal, the top U.S. and NATO commander in Afghanistan, that warned the war was getting worse and could be lost without more troops. President Barack Obama earlier this year approved sending 21,000 more troops to Afghanistan, bringing the total number of U.S. forces to 68,000 by the end of 2009. McChrystal is expected to ask for more troops in coming weeks, but increasing the number risks alienating Afghans, the police officials said. Lucky for Obama, the Afghans are the only ones who have reservations about sending more American troops to fight in a conflict that seems to have no end.

What Caught My Eye Today

Rest in Peace - Patrick Swayze, star of "Dirty Dancing" and "Ghost," died Monday after a battle with pancreatic cancer. He was 57. Both good movies, but for my money "Roadhouse" and "Point Break" were my Swayze flicks. You'll be missed.

Colombia - I don't wish ill on anyone, but it is nice to be reminded of the fact that we all put our pants on one leg at a time and anyone can catch the flu. Colombian President Alvar Uribe has swine flu and and to seek medical attention while attending a town council meeting. His case is mild but concerns have been raised that Uribe may have infected other leaders from the region. He was diagnosed just after returning from a South American summit in Argentina, where he met with 11 other national leaders. I guess that flu vaccine isn't quite ready yet, is it.

Italy - I preface this next story by assuring you that the humor in this story is not directed at the religion. The Italian sports world is debating where devout Muslims make reliable soccer players. Are you serious? The controversy began when the coach of Inter Milan benched one of his players who had been fasting all day for the Muslim holy month of Ramadan. Italian Muslims were outraged, and their anger grew when the owner of another Italian team said he simply wouldn't sign players who observe Ramadan. You would think after everything that the world has gone through over the millenia, that we would have learned a little something about religious tolerance. But no. Instead the fine folks at FIFA had to commission an expert panel to make a statement. Medical experts from FIFA, the world soccer body, to announce that "no serious scientific study" had ever shown a decrease in player performance due to Ramadan fasting. Religion aside, I think it's pretty much common knowledge that if you don't eat, your energy level will be somewhat diminished; and I'm pretty certain that's the case regardless of your religious affiliation. My point here, is that if a soccer player is not performing as well as they can (for whatever reason), being benched is a reasonable response. If the dude was playing at the same level during Ramadan as he was for the rest of the season, I doubt he would have found himself on the bench. As for that rocket scientist who won't sign players because of their religious practices, that dude is a moron, plain and simple.

South Africa - I'm not sure I can top this story with any additional commentary...so I'm not even going to try. Tests show that controversial runner Caster Semenya is a woman ...and a man. The 18-year-old South African champ has no womb or ovaries and her testosterone levels are more than three times higher than those of a normal female, according to reports. The tests, ordered by The International Association of Athletics Federations after Semenya's 800-meter victory in the World Championships, determined she's a hermaphrodite - having both male and female organs. Semenya could be stripped of the gold medal she won in Berlin last month and her competitive future is in limbo, according to Australia's Daily Telegraph. The athletics governing body is also expected to advise her to have surgery to fix the potentially deadly condition. Seriously, how do you top a story like that.

Sports - I mean the normal headlines; not the weirdness of the previous two items.

Tennis - There's an old sports adage that goes like this..."that's why you play the game". You need look no further than the U.S. Open for proof of this. Kim Clijsters came of a two year retirement (and the birth of a beautiful daughter), played a couple of warm up tournaments then went on to win the women's single title--her second Grand Slam. Her effort was made a bit easier by the fact that most of the top seeds crashed out of the tournament in the first week and by Serena Williams taking temporary leave of her senses and getting disqualified from her semifinal match against Clijsters. Meanwhile, things were going a bit more according to script on the men's side of the draw. Roger Federer was playing for his sixth consecutive U.S. Open title...and then he lost. Juan Martin del Potro of Argentina beat R-Fed in 5 sets.

Golf - Then again, some things never seem to change. Tiger Woods won his 71st tournament this past weekend at the BMW Championships, almost guaranteeing that he will win a second Fed Ex Cup. Actually, he won it on Saturday, by shooting a course record 62 and taking a 7 stroke lead into the final round on Sunday. For the record, he ended up winning by 8 strokes.

What Caught My Eye Today

Fiji - If I've said this once, I've said it a thousand times--You don't mess with the Queen. Girlfriend doesn't take crap from nobody. The Commonwealth has fully suspended Fiji after it refused to bow to demands to call elections by next year. Yes, I know. The Queen probably didn't make the decision on her own, but I bet she voiced her opinion on the topic. Commodore Frank Bainimarama seized power in Fiji in a 2006 coup and has said elections can only be reinstated in 2014, as part of his "roadmap". He says he needs time to institute reforms that will end the ethnic-based voting system tipped in favour of ethnic Fijians. In other words, dude needs time to figure out how he can ensure that he wins the election--whenever it happens to take place. Fiji has already been suspended from the regional Pacific Islands Forum, and some European Union aid to the country has been put on hold. In practical terms it means Fiji cannot attend any Commonwealth meetings, including taking part in the Commonwealth Games in 2010, or participate in training schemes and other technical aid. So this is serious right? The Commonwealth admitted that it was not a large donor to Fiji and the sanction is largely symbolic. I see. So the Commonwealth is basically the English version of the United Nations. Isn't that lovely?

Bangladesh - As if this poor nation didn't have enough to deal with. Now it is the victim of satire. Two Bangladeshi newspapers have apologized after publishing an article taken from the satirical U.S. website, the Onion, which claimed the Moon landings were faked. The Daily Manab Zamin said U.S. astronaut Neil Armstrong had shocked a news conference by saying he now knew it had been an "elaborate hoax". The made-up quote said that although the journey had felt real, in fact "the entire thing was filmed on a sound stage, most likely in New Mexico. I suppose it really was one small step for man, one giant lie for mankind." Dude, it was so totally a hoax. That footage that was mistakenly taped over a few months ago by NASA? How obvious of a cover up is that. But seriously, I'm not so sure that I would rely on the Onion a a trusted news source. A hilarious source of news, yes; a trusted news source, perhaps not.

The Internet - This next item caught my attention in that it explores the various ways that one could break the Internet.

• Take up fishing: Nets pulling up undersea cables are the single biggest cause of Internet breakages
• Grab a hacksaw: Follow the lead of vandals near Santa Clara, California who cut through underground fiber-optic wires, halting all service to the area.
• Pray for an underwater earthquake: Preferably, a repeat of the quake that took down cables carrying 75% of Internet traffic between Europe and the Middle East in December, 2008.
• Become the head of ICANN: Once in charge of the Internet Corporation for Assigned Names and Numbers (the organization that coordinates the global system of IP addresses) you can redirect traffic at will.
• Break into an Internet Data Center: There are thousands of centers housing computer servers in the United States alone. Take your pick and get mischievous.
• Sabotage a few boats: Internet providers lease fleets equipped to located and repair broken cables. Stop the ships and you stop the fix.
• Wait 29 years: On Jan 19, 2038, the internal clock for Unix will overflow, Y2K style.
• Train sharks: Shark have been known to gnaw through a few cables.

Is it just me or is anyone else scratching their head over the fact that this sort of information is being freely distributed to the public almost as a joke? What's next, a public service announcement on building a do-it-yourself improvised explosive device?

What Caught My Eye Today

World War II - So where were you 70 years ago today? On a wind-swept peninsula where shells lobbed from a German battleship ignited World War II 70 years ago. Poland's leaders marked the hour the German battleship Schleswig-Holstein shelled a tiny Polish military outpost housing the navy's arsenal. It was the war's opening salvo. As much of a history buff as I claim to be, I have to confess, I did not know that this was the first battle of the war. The blitzkrieg on Poland launched nearly six years of war that engulfed the world and left more than 50 million people dead as the German war machine rolled over Europe. European leaders vowed never to forget the lessons of the 20th century's bloodiest conflict. I don't know about you, but I've got all my fingers and toes crossed and rubbed every lucky rabbit foot that I could find hoping that these leaders don't merely not forget those lessons, but actually learn something from the war that will help them avoid another such conflict.

Libya - Okay, if 70 years is too far back for you to remember, how about 40 years ago? Libya celebrated the 40th anniversary of the coup that brought Colonel Moammar Gadhafi to power with a parade, lavish dance spectacles and fighter jets streaking overhead. I'll get back to the story in a moment, but here's something rather curious to ponder. Most of the success coups that I've read about result in a general assuming leadership of the nation. Yet here we have a lowly Colonel calling the shots. You would think that after 40 years, Gadhafi would have given himself a promotion by now. I'm just saying. Gadhafi came to power with a military coup in 1969, and was ostracized for decades over accusations of supporting international terrorism. More recently, Gadhafi has tried to restore his country's standing in the world and transform it from a pariah state to a member of the international community. Gadhafi surprised the world by agreeing to dismantle his country's weapons of mass destruction programs. Despite Gadhafi's attempts to restore his international reputation, human rights groups say he has failed to grant Libyans greater freedoms and rights. I think we can all agree that Libya's behavior has improved markedly over the past couple of years, but after 40 years of being a "pariah" it's not terribly surprising that the international community is looking upon Libya with suspicious eyes. Maybe when Gadhafi celebrates his 80th anniversary, if Libya is still playing nice with the other kiddies in the sandbox, we'll be willing to cut the country a bit more slack.

Child Welfare - The Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development has released a survey showing that America has some of the industrial world's worst rates of infant mortality, teenage pregnancy and child poverty, even though it spends more per child than better-performing countries such as Switzerland, Japan and the Netherlands. I'm sure it isn't that bad. Honestly, these countries always top these sorts of lists. Infant mortality in the U.S. is the fourth-worst in the OECD after Mexico, Turkey and Slovakia. American 15-year-olds rank seventh from the bottom on the OECD's measure of average educational achievement. Child poverty rates in the U.S. are nearly double the OECD average, at 21.6% compared to 12.4%. Okay, perhaps I am mistaken...it really is that bad. Pity. It just goes to show that while you have the "most" there is no guarantee that you have the "best". Of course, we're not the only ones with problems. Britain is plagued by high underage drinking and teenage pregnancy rates. British teen drunkenness top the charts at 33%, far above the OECD average of 20% and the 12% rate recorded in the U.S. That's because their booze is better than ours.

Iran - Iran's top nuclear negotiator offered an opening for possible compromise with the West, saying the Islamic regime is ready to hold talks with world powers over its nuclear program. But? One can only assume when talking about Iran there must be a "but". But Iranian lawmakers also sent a message of defiance to the world community — displaying strong support for President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's nominee for defense minister even though he is wanted by Argentina for the bombing of a Jewish community center in 1994 that killed 85 people. And there you have it. Leave it to Ahmadinejad to go and screw up the works again. Western nations and others worry Iran is moving toward development of nuclear warheads. But Iranian leaders say the country only seeks reactors to produce electricity. President Barack Obama has given Iran a deadline of the end of September to agree to nuclear talks or risk harsher sanctions. Last year, Iran was offered economic incentives in exchange for suspending uranium enrichment, but Iran's leaders responded by saying they would never give up control of the production of nuclear fuel. My guess is that Iran is trying to work its way out of a bluff as gracefully as possible. Still I'm with the rest of the world on this one. I'll believe Iran's motives when there are tangible actions on Tehran's part to back them up.

What Caught My Eye Today

Wild Fires - Maybe it is just me, but I'm pretty sure this same deal happened in both California and Greece around this same time last year. A deadly wildfire that has blackened a wide swath of tinder-dry forest around Los Angeles made another menacing advance, surging toward thousands of suburban homes and a vital mountaintop broadcasting complex. Dude, this better not affect my ability to text and tweet. If that happens, I'm telling you, the gloves are definitely coming off. The flames have scorched 134 square miles of brush and threaten 12,000 homes. The blaze has also killed two firefighters, destroyed at least 21 homes and forced thousands of evacuations. The firefighters died when their truck drove off the side of a road with flames all around them. And if that isn't bad enough, this isn't even the most destructive fire in the state. The blaze in the Los Angeles foothills is the biggest but not most destructive of California's wildfires. Northeast of Sacramento, a fire destroyed 60 structures over the weekend, many of them homes in the town of Auburn.

And then there is Greece...

Wildfires burned out of control in the forests of Athens' northern suburbs for four days before firefighters contained them. The fires were the most destructive in decades in the Attica region and the worst in Greece since the devastating fires of 2007. Oops, so I was off by a year.

Thought we were done? Guess again...

Officials in the Australian state of Victoria introduced a "mega-fire" alert level that will warn people to flee approaching wildfires and leave homes undefended as unseasonal winter bushfires point to a searing summer ahead. Mega-fires form when several fires join up in a huge front, creating their own weather systems with hurricane strength winds driving storms of burning embers and walls of flame. That sounds bad. No, on second thought, make that mega-bad. You know, Mother Nature seems like she's got her knickers in a bunch over something. It's like she's blaming us for all those environmental issues (you know, like global warming and that big pile of junk in the middle of the Pacific Ocean). Totally unwarranted if you ask me--the planet could have warmed up all by itself. Sure we nudged it along a bit, but honestly girlfriend, you need to chill with all this fire stuff. It's not good for your complexion.

Turkey & Armenia - Turkey and its neighbor Armenia have moved closer to establishing diplomatic ties after decades of bitter mistrust on both sides. I'm not sure many folks in the U.S. appreciate just how big of a deal this is...or care. Fear not, that's why I'm here--to break it all down for you. Negotiations on the mending of ties have been brokered by Switzerland. Naturally. And as an added bonus, this may give the Swiss a welcome bit of good publicity after all the bad PR it has been enduring regarding its questionable bank secrecy laws. The two countries' dispute centers on the fate of Armenians under Turkish Ottoman rule nearly a century ago. Turkey has resisted widespread calls for it to recognize the mass killing of Armenians during World War I as an act of genocide. Interesting how the butchering of hundreds of thousands of your people can put a damper on relations with your neighbor. Relations have also been complicated by Turkish support for Azerbaijan in its armed conflict with Armenia over the disputed territory of Nagorno-Karabakh. Hmm. Turkey certainly doesn't seem interested in taking the path of least resistance does it. Maybe--and I just blue skying here--the Turks should take a look at how successful the U.S.'s strategy of picking sides in a conflict--that one could argue it shouldn't be meddling with in the first place--has been. That plan to pit Iran against Iraq and vice versa? Yeah, that's worked out real well for us.

Afghanistan - A top US general in Afghanistan has called for a revised military strategy, suggesting the current one is failing. The heck you say. Sources say General Stanley McChrystal sees protecting the Afghan people against the Taliban as the top priority. Seriously, where is all this nonsense coming from? The general's blunt assessment will say that the Afghan people are undergoing a crisis of confidence because the war against the Taliban has not made their lives better. The general goes on to say the aim should be for Afghan forces to take the lead; but their army will not be ready to do that for three years and it will take much longer for the police. Let's see here. We have a war that seems to be dragging out without much meaningful progress, a crisis of confidence from a civilian population that continues to get stuck in the cross-fire, and a domestic army that won't be ready to defend its population for at least the foreseeable future. Where have I heard this before?

What Caught My Eye Today

President Bush - It is a well-known fact that I'm not a huge fan of the 43rd President, so I'm as surprised as anyone to find myself defending him (it's a world gone mad, I tell you). Former Vice President Dick Cheney is working on a memoir of his time in President George W. Bush's administration. In it, Cheney accuses Bush of "going soft". Aides to Cheney say the former vice president simply cannot stay quiet about what he considers to the "moral weakness" of the administration's second term. Yeah, Cheney is one to talk about morality. Read on... In suspending the use of torture, seeking congressional approval for domestic surveillance, and refusing to pardon Lewis "Scooter" Libby, Bush, in Cheney's view, made "concessions to public sentiment" that revealed the president as just "an ordinary politician." I do my best to keep the content on this blog suitable for all ages, bit in this case, I'm going to make an exception. Mr. Cheney, your name suits you well, because you are, without a doubt, the biggest dick in the history of dickdom. How nice it must be for you to sit on the sidelines and criticize those how had the courage to admit that the policies they implemented needed to be changed, you pompous douche.

Okay, sorry about that. Let's move on shall we.

Africa - Eritrea and Ethiopia mush pay each other millions of dollars in compensation for damages arising for their 1989-2000 border war. The terms of the deal are rather interesting. An international tribunal calculated the total property damage on both sides and ruled that Ethiopia owes $164 million to Eritrea and that Eritrea owes Ethiopia $174 million. No need to break out the calculator. Basically Eritrea has to cut a $10 million check to Ethiopia. Eritrea has agreed to pay the debt. Isn't that nice. Does it seem odd to anyone, besides me, that war reparations for an 11 year conflict amount to less than $1 million a year?

France - Admittedly, I mock the French a fair bit. It's nothing personal; it merely amuses me. On this particular occasion, I'm going to do the exact opposite and tip my cap to them. Under an new government proposal, French tourists in hostile or unstable countries will have to reimburse the treasury for rescuing them. The proposed law would require travelers to cover the costs incurred in rescuing them from war zones, hostage-takings, and other dangerous situations. Diplomats, reporters, aid workers and business travelers would be exempt from the fees. I'm totally with the government on this one. Why should taxpayer money be spent rescuing tourists who are either too stupid or too reckless to stay out of war zones? If you are dumb enough to walk into a situation where people are shooting at each other (with real bullets, mind you) I say, "Good luck with that, spark plug. Send me a postcard."

Drugs - A study conducted by the U.S. Drug Enforcement Agency found that 85% to 95% of all bills circulating in the U.S. and Canada contain traces of cocaine, up form 67% in 2007. Like that surprises anyone.

Sports - Two items of note this past weekend...and only one has to do with cricket.

Cricket - The English won the Ashes! The English won the Ashes! The English won the Ashes! (Fred's Note: Baseball fans may catch the reference, otherwise just keep reading). After the better part of two months, the English national cricket team claimed victory over Australia in the best of five test bi-annual tournament...finally. For the record, 64 Ashes series have been played, with Australia winning 30 and England 29. The remaining five series were drawn, with Australia retaining the Ashes four times. And with that we close the book on cricket until 2011...or until my man, Rod turns me onto another worthy cricket tournament.

Golf - The ladies contested their version of the Ryder Cup--the Solheim Cup--this past weekend. The bi-annual team competition pits the U.S. against Europe and in a year where the U.S. team was heavily favored, they did not disappoint. They retained the Solheim Cup with a score of 16-12. The Americans have won the Cup 8 of the 11 times the event has been held. Interestingly enough, an American woman has not won an LPGA event so far in 2009.

Tennis - Apparently, this is really happened...though I remain a bit skeptical. A North Carolina woman is suing the city of Raleigh, North Carolina because no men will play tennis win her. The plaintiff says she was so routinely beating male opponents in the city-sponsored tennis league that the city scrapped a rule that penalized players for declining matches. The women wants $10,000 for her emotional distress. For the sake of argument, let's assume this is a legitimate story. While I am against frivolous lawsuits (seriously, where is the emotional distress is kicking the crap out of the opposite sex on a tennis court?), in principle I have to side with the player. Girlfriend was playing by the rules. Is it her fault that the guys sucked. The only thing city officials should have done was suggest that the men work on their serves a bit more.

What Caught My Eye Today

President Obama - President Barack Obama is officially taking a one week vacation when he heads to Martha's Vineyard. When you are talking about the leader of the free world, I guess this would sort of qualify as a "stay-cation," right? A long "to do" list -- two wars, worldwide recession and a host of legislative battles in store when he gets back, most notably the struggle over reforming the U.S. health system -- will make it hard for him to relax and disconnect. Sorry dude, you won't get any sympathy from me. We all have "stuff" to deal with. Sure, your "stuff" affects millions, sometimes, billions of people, but my "stuff" sucks too. The administration says Obama is doing only what other presidents, and many other Americans, do: taking a needed break during a busy year in a place that suits his family. The White House stresses that Obama is footing the bill himself -- estimated at $25,000 or more -- for the 28-acre (Blue Heron farm he is renting for the trip. Seriously, is the White House looking to give the President a medal. Last time I checked, most working stiffs had to pay for their vacation accommodations. Why should the President have it any different from the rest of us. Besides, $25,000? That's what, a single royalty check for this guy?

Afghanistan - The Afghans held themselves a presidential election this week, and as far as I can tell, everybody who ran for the position won. President Hamid Karzai and top challenger Abdullah Abdullah positioned themselves as the likely winner of Afghanistan's presidential election, one day after millions of Afghans braved Taliban threats and intimidation to cast ballots. Assuming we do at some point arrive at a single winner, what awaits this lucky chap? The next president faces an agenda filled with crises: rising insurgent violence, rampant corruption and a huge narcotics trade. Sounds lovely, don't it? Millions of Afghans defied threats to cast ballots, but turnout appeared weaker than the previous vote in 2004 because of violence, fear and disenchantment. U.S. officials had hoped for a wide turnout as a symbolic rejection of the insurgency. The voting was seen partly as a test of the ability of U.S. forces to protect civilians — the new top military priority — and the willingness of voters to accept that help. U.S. officials had hoped for a wide turnout as a symbolic rejection of the insurgency. A top election official told The Associated Press he estimated 40% to 50% of the country's 15 million registered voters cast ballots — far lower than the 70% who voted in the presidential election in 2004. I don't know that this turnout is necessarily a bad thing. After all, everything is relative. In a good year (actually, an exceptional year), the U.S. barely cracks 50% voter turnout, and we've been at this democracy thing a lot longer than the Afghan people.

Libya - Perhaps the folks in Tripoli could benefit from a little sensitivity training...or at the very least, pay a visit to the local proctologist to pull their heads out of their you-know-whats. The release of the only man convicted of blowing up a Pan Am flight in 1988 has brought high drama and controversy: the jeering mob outside a Scottish prison, the cheering crowd at a Tripoli airport, the furious families of the 270 people who died in the Lockerbie bombing. Britain on Friday condemned the "upsetting" scenes of jubilation in Tripoli at the return of Abdel Baset al-Megrahi and considered canceling a royal visit to Libya as a sign of displeasure. President Barack Obama said the warm welcome in Libya was "highly objectionable." By Libyan standards, al-Megrahi's welcome was relatively muted. Are you kidding me? It was an unusually low-key approach for a country that used to snap up any opportunity to snub the West and could easily bring out hundreds of thousands to cheer if it chose to. The guy was responsible for blowing up a plane with 270 people on it. That's not the sort of thing that warrants a ticker tape parade. I suppose the one thing we can all take some solace in is the fact that this jerk has terminal cancer and probably won't live but a few more months. Of course by then, a memorial statue may have been erected in his honor.

Chile - Chile said that tests show swine flu has jumped to birds, opening a new chapter in the global epidemic. Oh good, another chapter. After all, this has been such an exciting "read" so far. Chile's health ministry said it ordered a quarantine for two turkey farms outside the port city of Valparaiso after genetic tests confirmed sick birds were afflicted with the same virus that has caused a pandemic among humans. So far, the virus — a mixture of human, pig and bird genes — has proved to be very contagious but no more deadly than common seasonal flu. However, virus experts fear a more dangerous and easily transmitted strain could emerge if it combines again with avian flu, which is far more deadly but tougher to pass along. I hate be a naysayer--being a wise-ass is so much more my speed--but I have a feeling that the upcoming flu season in the Northern Hemisphere is going to--pardon the pun--blow chow in a big way.

Cricket - That's right my friends, it's time for the final act of the Ashes...thank goodness. For those of you who may have forgotten, the Ashes is a bi-annual cricket tournament between Australia and England consisting of 5 tests. In recent years, Australia has had England's number, but this year has been remarkably competitive with two draws and a win a piece. My man on the ground, Rod, has been doing his best to enlighten me on the finer points of this sport. Alas, being the simpleton that I am, Rod has not had much success. So here is the latest news at the close of the second day of the final test: Fifteen wickets tumbled on a hectic day which finished with England 58 for three in their second innings, a lead of 230 runs, after Australia had collapsed to 160 all out. I think that means England is winning, but after well over a month of following this competition, I can say in all honesty -- I don't have clue.

What Caught My Eye Today

Afghanistan - Threats of Taliban violence and rumors of fraud cast a shadow over Afghanistan's election, in which millions of voters will choose a new president to lead a nation plagued by armed insurgency, drugs, corruption and a feeble government. I don't mean to make light of a serious situation (yeah, right), but how is that any different from the job that that Obama guy won last November? International officials predict an imperfect outcome for a vote that they hope Afghans will accept as credible. Always a safe strategy--set the bar so low that any outcome will be viewed as a success. Heck, I play that card with my boss on a daily basis. President Hamid Karzai, who has held power since the Taliban was ousted eight years ago, is favored to finish first among 36 official candidates. Thirty-six candidates? Admittedly, I am an underachiever, but who in their right mind would want this job?

Norway - Norway's ambassador to the United Nations has accused Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon of weak, ineffective and at times counterproductive leadership during recent crises. I'd expect that sort language from the likes of...well, the United States comes to mind, but Norway? What up with that? The letter comes just days before Ban visits Norway, an advocate of active multilateral diplomacy which has worked with the United Nations on a number of peace initiatives including the now collapsed Oslo accords between Israel and the Palestinians. Way to roll out the old welcome mat, guys. The letter said said Ban had failed to make the United Nations a relevant voice during the financial crisis; that Ban was a mere "passive observer" after Myanmar's arrest of opposition leader Aung Sang Suu Kyi and that his visit there to meet hardline generals was "fruitless"; that Ban was "helpless" in trying to curb atrocities during the end of the civil war in Sri Lanka earlier this year; and that in other "crisis areas" such as Darfur, Somalia, Pakistan, Zimbabwe and Congo, Ban's "passive and not very committed appeals seem to fall on deaf ears. Dude, that's harsh. Completely spot on, but harsh nevertheless.

This next item, probably isn't going to make Ban any more popular with the Norwegians.

Zimbabwe - According to the United Nations, the "humanitarian situation remains serious" in Zimbabwe amid cholera, starvation and a continuing economic crisis. Cholera thrives in areas without clean water and proper sanitation, and the United Nations has said 6 million people in Zimbabwe -- more than half the population -- have limited or no access to safe water and sanitation in rural and urban areas. It also estimates more than 5 million in the nation face starvation. Now here's the kicker. All this stuff is going down despite the fact that Zimbabwe is one of the few nations in Africa not dealing with an armed conflict. So basically, even under the best conditions that one could hope for in a situation like this, the U.N. finds itself unable to make any meaningful progress to deal with these issues. You know, maybe the Norwegians are onto something here.

Mortality - It's the headline that amuses me most. "CDC says life expectancy in U.S. up, deaths not." The U.S. life expectancy has risen to a new high, now standing at nearly 78 years. The increase is due mainly to falling death rates in almost all the leading causes of death. Isn't that a bit redundant? Honestly, it seems to me rather obvious that if people are living longer, then death rates would have to be falling. Am I missing something here? The United States continues to lag behind about 30 other countries in estimated life span. Japan has the longest life expectancy — 83 years. Heart disease and cancer together are the cause of nearly half of U.S. fatalities. The death rate from heart disease dropped nearly 5%, the cancer death rate nearly 2%, and the HIV death rate dropped 10%. Progress has been made; of that there is no doubt. But just because people are living longer doesn't necessarily mean that they are happy about it. Bear with me on this one. If the day comes that my plumbing cannot function without a good deal of help (and that day will come), I'm not so sure that I'll be in the mood to celebrate the fact that I'll have to deal with that for several years. I know it's easy to say this now (most of my body parts are still fully functional), but I'm thinking once the pipe start leaking (or worse yet get completely clogged up), I'm not sure that I'll be that eager to call in the Roto-Rooter guys.

What Caught My Eye Today

Golf - What is the only headline that could trump Tiger Woods winning his 15th major championship? How about Tiger Woods not winning his 15th major championship? Dude had a two stroke heads going into the final round of the PGA Championship and ended up losing by 3-strokes to 101st ranked Y. E. Yang from South Korea. To be fair, Tiger could not buy a putt on Sunday and this dude Yang played probably the round of his life, but still, Tiger was 14-0 in closing the deal on a major when leading on Sunday, so, yeah, this was a bit of a surprise to pretty much everyone but Mr. Yang.

Cuba - I don't like to laugh at the expense of someone else's hardship, but you have to admit, the circumstances here are rather amusing. Cuba, in the grip of a serious economic crisis, is running short of toilet paper and may not get sufficient supplies until the end of the year. Cuba both imports toilet paper and produces its own, but does not currently have enough raw materials to make it. Here's my favorite part. "The corporation has taken all the steps so that at the end of the year there will be an important importation of toilet paper," an official said on state-run radio. Important? I should say so. I don't think I'm alone in thinking when I'm done doing my thing, there is pretty much nothing that ranks higher up on my list of priorities than finishing up the paperwork; and you cannot do that if you don't have any paper to work with. I'm just saying.

Dance - Former Republican Majority Leader Tom DeLay will join 15 celebrities from the worlds of entertainment and sports in kicking up their heels on the new season of "Dancing With the Stars. Huh? Why would he subject himself to this sort of ridicule? You would think that he would have gotten his fill of embarrassment from being a U.S. Congressman. Other hopefuls include entertainer Donny Osmond; singers Mya, Macy Gray and Aaron Carter; actors Melissa Joan Hart, Debi Mazar and Ashley Hamilton (son of George); models Joanna Krupa and Kathy Ireland; reality stars Kelly Osbourne and Mark Dacascos ("the Chairman" on Food Network's "Iron Chef America"); mixed martial artist Chuck Liddell; professional snowboarder Louie Vito; Olympic swimmer Natalie Coughlin; and former Dallas Cowboys wide receiver Michael Irvin. My money is on Michael Irvin and Donny Osmond for the guys and Joanna Krupa and Natalie Coughlin for the gals to make the finals. And you might as well give the trophy to Irvin now. Those football players have quite the following...though I haven't the faintest idea why.

India - Here's a disturbing bit of news--though, I suppose not altogether surprising.Few outsiders realize that India has its own Hindu version of the Taliban. Extremist Hindu authorities known as khap panchayats act like parliaments unto themselves, enforcing Hindu orthodoxy through "honor killings" and other severe punishments. Their decree that every woman must bear at least two sons is behind much of the selective abortion and female infanticide in India. Khaps have existed in northwestern India for centuries and some are known to control thousands of villages. What is it with all these religious interpretations that appear to throw women under the proverbial bus? Seriously, I'm beginning to wonder if all these guys that are making up these rules (I can only assume that the authorities are mostly male) are making up for crappy childhoods and lashing out as a result of some sort of maternal neglect.

And while we are on the subject...

Psychology - We learn more from failure than success, says the old aphorism. Obviously this aphorism was the product of some loser's imagination. A new study out of the Massachuetts Institute of Technology suggests that this is simply not true. Researchers trained monkeys to turn their heads left or right depending on which image from a set of pictures was shown. When the monkeys chose correctly, they received a reward. The study found that when the monkeys made the right choices, the neurons involved in learning and discrimination were very active. According to the researchers, success breeds success, because the rewards it produces raise attention levels. Oh great, another aphorism. That aside, I believe the gist of this study suggests that doing things correctly tends to be rewarded. Given that positive reinforcement, people tend to try to do things correctly more often. They needed a study to figure this out?

What Caught My Eye Today

Global Economy - What you are about to read is not a typo. It is indeed a story about good news regarding the global economy. The French and German economies both grew by 0.3% between April and June, bringing to an end year-long recessions in Europe's largest economies. Stronger exports and consumer spending, as well as government stimulus packages, contributed to the growth. The data came as a surprise, with few analysts expecting Germany and France to start to recover so soon. I'm pretty sure this is going to come off as rather petty of me--so be it--but I regard this as yet another reason to really, really not like the French. Economic activity in the eurozone fell by 0.1%, showing the region as a whole is still in recession. Yeah, I'm sure France and Germany are going to be real popular with the rest of Europe.

Healthcare Reform - No doubt, those of you who follow the news have been following the rather heated debates about the proposed healthcare reforms coming out of Washington. I haven't commented on this story sooner because, frankly, there's been enough coverage without me piling on even more. But when the story warrants "pearls of wisdom" from our good friend Sarah Palin, I feel a responsibility to comment. Sarah Palin refused to retreat from her debunked claim that a proposed health care overhaul would create "death panels." Palin argued that the elderly and ailing would be coerced into accepting minimal end-of-life care to reduce health care costs based on the Democratic bill in the House. You go, girl. Show those socialist pigs in Washington that we're not going to allow them to "pull the plug" on us. But there will be no "death panels" under the legislation being considered. In fact, the provision in the bill would allow Medicare to pay doctors for voluntary counseling sessions that address end-of-life issues. To the unsuspecting observer, this might suggest that Palin may not have her facts straight and may be overreacting. Poopy gook! This is just another liberal conspiracy attempting to portray Palin as a blowhard dullard. Of course, you have to admit that it is a pretty good conspiracy (either that or Palin is more of a simpleton than any of us gave her credit for).

Iran - Three independent United Nations human rights experts have accused Iran of torturing confessions from detainees charged with fomenting political unrest. Iranian officials have denied the allegations. I'm not sure which shocks me more--that Iran is denying the allegations or that the United Nations has finally acknowledged something that the rest of the world has known for months. Let's call it a draw, shall we? The treatment of detainees at Iran's prisons has increasingly become a divisive issue within Iran's Islamic leadership, as reformists continue to accuse the hardline government of allowing abuse and torture in attempts to coerce false confessions. Being the "glass half full" sort, I suppose the fact that a grow faction within the Islamic leadership sees this type of behavior as intolerable suggests that a day of reckoning may not be too far off in the future.

Golf - The headline today will likely read that Tiger Woods has the lead after the first round of the year's last major, the PGA Championship in Hazeltine, Minnesota. I however, would like to focus on a story that appeared earlier in the week. Tiger Woods has vanquished almost every foe golf offers, even saying he would defeat his 2000 self in a showdown. But there is a fight he always loses - the one to stop yelling profanities. Woods sometimes will scream obscenities after making a bad shot, at times picked up by television microphones. While not the only golfer to curse, his exclamations of frustration are magnified by the constant scrutiny he faces. I think we can all relate to the occasional slip of the tongue. Someone once suggested to me that instead of dropping an F-bomb, say something a bit more watered down. That way you can still express yourself, but in a less coarse manner. Let me illustrate in this response to those that find Woods' occasional display of human emotion offensive. Who the "teddy bear" died and made you the "sugar" morality police. I'd like to see you "puppy dog" "baby doll" horse's "butterfly" react half as well as Woods does under the microscope you have placed him under. The guy is not a robot, you sanctimonious "kitty cat". See. Isn't that much better?

Cricket - No need to worry, you all haven't missed anything. The fifth and deciding test of the biannual Ashes cricket contest between Australia and England doesn't start until next week. I have in on good authority, that there is a good chance that there will be a winner, though someone will probably have to explain to me which side won. Stay tuned.

What Caught My Eye Today

World Population - The world's population is forecast to hit 7 billion in 2011, the vast majority of its growth coming in developing and, in many cases, the poorest nations. A staggering 97% of global growth over the next 40 years will happen in Asia, Africa, Latin America and the Caribbean, according to the Population Reference Bureau's 2009 World Population Data Sheet (click here). High fertility rates and a young population base in the developing world will fuel most of the growth, especially in Africa, where women often give birth to six or seven children over a lifetime. The number is about two in the United States and 1.5 in Canada. By 2050, India is projected to be the world's most populous nation at 1.7 billion, overtaking current leader China, which is forecast to hit 1.4 billion. The United States is expected to reach 439 million for No. 3 on the list. I love this next bit of analysis by one of the authors of the report. "The increase from 6 billion to 7 billion is likely to take 12 years, as did the increase from 5 billion to 6 billion. Both events are unprecedented in world history." Really? See I thought unprecedented meant something that never happened before. If the last population increase of 1 billion took 12 years, that would suggest that this second increase of 1 billion over 12 years isn't without precedence (I'm just saying). And if you think about it, given the amount of time is the same, the rate of population increase is actually decreasing--16.7% from 6 to 7 billion vs. 20% from 5 to 6 billion (again, I'm just saying). Any way that you look at it, that's a lot of people, and the vast majority of them don't look to have a very easy go of things.

France - Officials at a local pool banned a Muslim woman garbed in a head-to-toe swimsuit--dubbed a "burquini"--because of France's pool hygiene standards. Under the policy, swimmers are not allowed in pools with baggy clothing, including surfer-style shorts. Only figure-hugging suits are permitted. The all-body suits, worn regularly by some women in Muslim countries, are growing popular in the West. They can be seen on female Muslim lifeguards on Australian beaches, in the United States and various European countries, from the Netherlands to Sweden. France is home to western Europe's largest Muslim population, estimated at 5 million, and Islam is the nation's second religion after Roman Catholicism. I'm all for hygiene, but how exactly do these officials think these leisure suits--I mean burquini--are going to cause a public health hazard. I'm of the opinion that the spectacle caused by some folks in their "figure-hugging suits" is much more hazardous than anything related to wearing a "burquini. (Fred's Note: I labored quite a bit to make that last sentence as tame as I could).

Armageddon - As frequent readers are well aware, I like to keep abreast of all the ways that the world could end on the off chance that a completely irresponsible shopping spree might be in order. This time, I bring you killer asteroids. NASA is charged with spotting most of the asteroids that pose a threat to Earth but doesn't have the money to complete the job. That's because even though Congress assigned the space agency that mission four years ago, it never gave NASA the money to build the necessary telescopes. And the United States is practically the only government doing anything at all. And that surprises who? NASA estimates that there are about 20,000 asteroids and comets in our solar system that are potential threats. So far, scientists know where about 6,000 of these objects are. That's a shame, isn't it? NASA calculated that to spot the asteroids as required by law would mean spending about $800 million between now and 2020. At the moment, NASA has identified about five near-Earth objects that pose better than a 1-in-a-million risk of hitting Earth and being big enough to cause serious damage. That number changes from time to time, as new asteroids are added and old ones are removed as information is gathered on their orbits. See, nothing to worry about, nothing at all. I guess I'll plan that first class trip to the tropics for another time.

Potpourri - Ah yes, my friends. It's time again for another edition of news oddities that beg the question, "Does this actually qualify as news?"

• Wisconsin - The Wisconsin State Fair introduced two new taste treats at this year's event: chocolate-covered bacon on a stick and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches dipped in pancake batter and deep-fried.
  You can almost feel your arteries hardening just thinking about them.
• Defamation - A Chicago landlord sued a former tenant for defamation after she complained in a Twitter message that her apartment was moldy. She was accused of publishing "a false and defamatory tweet."
  Which, by the way, was broadcast to all 20 of her friends prior to the news wires picking up on this nonsense and sharing this little nugget with the entire world.
• College Graduates - A graduate of New York City's Monroe College, sued her alma mater for the $70,000 she spent on tuition, saying she has been unable to find a job since earning her degree in April.
  As long as everybody is suing everybody, might I suggest to Monroe College to file a counter suit for misrepresentation. I'm betting they accepted this student in the first place on the basis that she displayed some intelligence. Clearly, she lied on the application.

What Caught My Eye Today

HIV - According to French scientists, a new strain of HIV has been identified in a Cameroonian woman. That can't be good. The three previously known strains are related to a virus found in chimps, but the new one appears related to a form of simian immunodeficiency virus recently discovered in wild gorillas. So far, the woman shows no signs of AIDS and is not taking any HIV drugs. The finding highlights the need to watch closely for the emergence of new HIV variants, particularly in western Central Africa. I find it interesting how something like this gets practical no media coverage, while the H1N1 virus is being played up like the second coming of the plague.

Speaking of which...

Argentina - Schools across most of Argentina have been closed for a month because of an outbreak of swine flu. At least 230 people of died from the virus so far. The Education Ministry ordered the regular winter break of two weeks to be doubled to help prevent further infections. Argentina has reported the second largest number of H1N1 flu cases in the world, behind the United States. I heard we were contemplating longer school closures as well, but then we reconsidered and reduced the school closures or eliminated them altogether. Turns out government officials are worried that our nation's youth is dumb enough already without missing even more class time.

I did mention the plague didn't I?

China - A town in western China is under quarantine due to an outbreak of pneumonic plague, which has killed 3 people. Pneumonic plague is the deadliest and most rare form of plague. Unlike the bubonic plague, which is spread only by fleas, pneumonic plague can be spread from person to person. Untreated, it kills 60% of its victims, though early treatment cuts the death rate to 15%. A spokesperson for the World Health Organization said, "It's not something we're very worried about, but we are keeping an eye on it." Not worried about an affliction that--even when treated--is lethal to 15 out of 100 people? Are you kidding me? The swine flu--which has a rate of fatality of a couple of hundredths of a percent--has the WHO flipping out. Am I missing something here?

Estonia - In the latest Happy Planet Index (click here), an international survey of "life satisfaction", Estonia scored last in all of Europe. The researchers who conducted the survey said that Estonians seem to have a lack of "social cohesion." The index combines environmental impact with human well-being to measure the environmental efficiency with which, country by country, people live long and happy lives. At the risk of stating the obvious, this piqued my interest enough to see how well some other countries fared on this list. Strangely, the folks in Central America seem quite content with their lives. The top four (Costa Rica, Dominican Republic, Jamaica and Guatemala) all come from the same region. China comes in at #20, France at #71, the United Kingdom at #74, Iraq at #79, Iran at #81, Canada at #89, Russia at #108, and the good ol' United States coming in at a stellar #114. Estonia ranked #131, just so you know. And if you are a glass half empty sort of person, then Zimbabwe is the place for you. Those poor schmucks came in dead last on this survey.

Cricket - According to my eyes on the ground in the UK, the Australians did not beat the English in the fourth test of the biannual cricket tournament. I want to make sure I've got this right--"It was not so much a victory for the Aussies as a total thrashing." Now for those of you who have been paying attention (and I'm sure there is at least one of you out there), the series is all tied up going into the fifth and final test later this week. Stay tuned.

Golf - I'm thinking that rather than calling it the World Golf Championship it would be easier to it Tiger Woods Trophy Case. Dude won his 16th WGC trophy, fth of the season and 70th overall this past weekend at the Firestone Invitational. Did I mention that he was three strokes behind at the start of the final round and ended up winning by four. That just ain't right.

What Caught My Eye Today

Fred's Note: Every once and a while I cast aside the regular headlines in order to give those more obscure newsmakers their moment in the sun. I am and, no doubt, will continue to be amazed at the creativity of the human race and more so of those who manage to witness and report on that creativity.

New York - I appreciate that the world faces all sorts of challenges ranging from terrorism to global warming. I feel compelled to add one more item to that list, the pollution of an already rather suspect gene pool. I offer the following story to illustrate my concern. The family of a New York City teenager plans to sue the city after their 15-year-old daughter fell into an open manhole while texting on her cell phone. The girl suffered only a few scrapes in the 5-foot fall, but her mother says the city must compensate her for the trauma of landing in the sewer. Yeah, that's your kid's biggest problem. Maybe you should consider having someone look into the possibility of removing your daughter's head from her butt so that she can pay a little more attention to the world around her.

Georgia - 10,000 people flocked to East Dublin, Georgia for the annual Redneck Games, featuring such tradition-rich competitions as bobbing for pig's feet, belly flopping into a giant mud pit, spitting watermelon seeds and making farting noises with your armpit. Hmm. Good for them. Lest you think that I'm making this up, there's a web site (click here) dedicated to this annual event. (They do this every year? Dear God, why?) Suffice it to say that a picture is worth a thousand words.

Egypt - Perhaps you've heard of the saying "there must be something funny in the water". Usually there is, but this is a bit of a stretch. A Polish woman is suing an Egyptian hotel, claiming that its swimming pool made her teenage daughter pregnant. The suit claims that stray sperm in the pool must have impregnated her 13-year-old daughter while the family was on vacation. According to reports, "the mother is adamant that her daughter didn't meet any boys while she was there." Sure she didn't.

Humor - I try to keep the content on my blog suitable for all ages, though this joke might stretch that edict just a bit. Bearing that in mind, I think it's important to take a moment every once and a while to put aside all the doom and gloom that seems to dominate the headlines and have a good chuckle.

A wife comes home and turns on the lights. They flicker. "Honey," she asks her husband, "can you fix this light switch?" He replies, "What do I look like, an electrician?" The husband then goes to the bar and when he returns home the lights are working fine. "Who fixed the light?" he asks his wife. She responses, "I asked the neighbor, and he said he'd do it for either a baked cake or a quickie." The husband asks, "So what kind of cake did you bake him?" The wife calmly answers, "Who do I look like, Betty Crocker."

Remember, my friends, laughter is always the best medicine. See you next time.

Cricket - Oh yes, the Ashes continues, loyal readers. As we go to press today, the fourth of five tests between Australia and England is in progress. I think (and by that I mean I haven't got the faintest clue) that Australia is winning. I believe that is what "Australia on 174 for 4 wickets after 39.2 overs" means. That certainly. sounds better than the "102 for 10 wickets after 33.5 overs" that England got. Of course this is just 1st inning action, so the outcome far from certain. Heck, I imagine that even after the test is over, someone will have to explain to me who won.

What Caught My Eye Today

North Korea - It is amazing what a little diplomacy (and stroking of one's ego) can accomplish these days. Former President Bill Clinton met with North Korean leader Kim Jong Il on the first day of a surprise mission to Pyongyang to negotiate the release of two Americans, holding "exhaustive" talks on a wide range of topics. Shortly thereafter, North Korean media reported that Kim Jong Il had pardoned two American journalists and ordered their release during Clinton's visit. Damn, that was fast. As I starting today's posting, this was breaking news, so I don't have any more details to share. Though I think it is safe to say, that Kim Jong Il enjoyed being visited by a former U.S. President so he could show off his Napoleon complex while the world was watching. Of course, if this little sideshow leads to more fruitful talks on more substantive issues--like nuclear weapons--then who am I to criticize anything.

Iran - Maybe, after he's done in Pyongyang, he can catch a flight to Tehran to sort out this next mess. Iran has arrested three Americans for illegally entering the country from neighboring Iraq and authorities were investigating whether to charge them with spying. U.S. officials rejected the allegation, and a security official in Iraq said the three were merely backpackers who got lost while hiking in a mountainous region where the Iran-Iraq border is not clearly marked. Yeah there's a great defense--"They couldn't possibly be spies. Hell they cannot even read a map, for Pete's sake." Iranian state television said the latest case involving the Americans was being used by the West as anti-Iranian propaganda, and questioned whether they were hikers. You all think pretty highly of yourselves, don't you? I hate to burst your bubble, but the average American probably couldn't even find Iran on a map let alone care one bit about the happenings in Iran. I'm thinking, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is making a play to rub elbows with Bill Clinton. If Kim Il Jong can pull it off, why can't he?

Sudan - Sudanese police fired tear gas and beat women protesting at the trial of a female journalist who faces a flogging for wearing trousers in public. The journalist could receive 40 lashes if found guilty of violating the country's indecency law which follows a strict interpretation of Islam. The accused journalist said the law is un-Islamic and "oppressive," and she's trying to use her trial to rally support to change it. The 1991 indecency law was adopted by Sudan's Islamic regime which came to power after a coup in 1989. It follows a strict interpretation of Islamic law that imposes physical punishment on "those who commit an indecent act that violates public morale; or who dress indecently." Trousers are considered indecent under the law. Someone, anyone, please explain to me how a pair of pants could be consider indecent? I can appreciate the possibility of trousers being in poor taste, but indecent? I just don't see it. Seriously, where in the Koran does it say that trousers are indecent? Activists and lawyers say it is implemented arbitrarily, and leaves the definition of "indecent acts" up to the implementing police officer. How convenient for them. That certainly would make swift justice (for lack of a better term) much easier to dispense with. Flogging is a common punishment for drinking and making alcohol, and whatever else the law enforcer deems indecent. You have to hand it to these guys--No hang ups with due process and a single form of punishment. Now that's what I would call efficient. Barbaric, inhumane and cruel, but efficient.

Cricket - The Ashes (a bi-annual tournament between England and Australia) continues later this week with the fourth of five tests. According to my main man, Rod, England and Australia traded whoop-assings in the third test (I'm paraphrasing a bit) and I think the result was a draw. Which means England still holds a slight lead over Australia, having won the second test. I'll keep you posted--or at least try to. The commentary on these matches is harder to follow than the action itself.